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QUESTION:
"My sister and her 3 kids and boyfriend(also kids father) live with me. The kids ages are 11, 9, 7. The 11 & 9 have not gone to school yet this school year. The 7 hasn’t even been registered in school. I was not aware of this situation as I’m out all day at work then after-school activities with my kids so I don’t get back home until late. I came to find out when I installed cameras at the entrance and around outside my house and noticed the kids don’t ever leave the house. So I questioned her and she gave me this lie that they were doing virtual - because she kept them at their old school district she thought I believed it. I didn’t! So I have been pushing her more and more and she has yet to do anything about them going to school or seeing a doctor. So I was talking to my best friend about it and she suggested I take guardianship of the kids just so I can enroll them in school and take them to doctors appointments etc. because I don’t think these kids have gone to a doctor since before they’ve moved in here back in September 2020 ( I think this for a reason I don’t want to share). I forgot to add the boyfriend works all day and when he is home he just sleeps. I have tried pushing the boyfriend about sending the kids to school or to see a doctor and all he says is “well I’m at work all day she has to do those stuff” So my question is would you guys take guardianship of the kids or just not do anything at all? I’m at a loss as she is my sister but she isn’t doing right by the kids."
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"First I would report this to the school district because that is illegal the mom will get a huge find or do jail time. Second, you have to prove they are unfit to be parents before you get any type of guardianship. 3rd I think you need to kick the parents out you are not their parent and you should not be taking care of these people they sound like deadbeat, lazy pieces of trash that want everything handed to them"
"How do you even legally get guardianship if you’re not going to legally push for her to be reprimanded for it? I don’t think you can just go get it without there being legal actions first"
"You have no legal right! You need to offer the mom the help and talk to her telling you know what’s going on. Then you have to let her know you will be getting Child Protective Services involved if she doesn’t remedy the situation."
"For 1 thing, you can’t “just take guardianship” of anyone. You need to file through courts through your state, you would also need to hve the parent either found unfit and or have them sign over their rights to you. I’m assuming you haven’t even brought up the idea to the parents yet, you need to start there, not here. Get a lawyer, as you will most likely need one to fight for their custody to be in your hands. Then you will hve to take responsibility for them 100%, not just school and Dr. Visits, everything, and forever as well, not just while they’re living with you. This is not a quick and easy decision here!"
"Children can also be what’s called “unschooled” in many states so what she is doing may not be illegal where you live. I’d suggest an open conversation with her about what kind of life she wants to offer her children. As far as doctors, they probably not due for any vaccines until the age of 12 which is also optional in many states. A yearly physical is suggested but not required. Unless the children are sick or injured and she’s refusing them medical care. If they’re being fed, clothed and shelter then you can’t take someone’s parental rights away."
"Maybe try asking your sister if she would like your help in getting everything done for her children. She may take it the wrong way if you just take over and try to take her kids from her. Sounds like she’s stuck and needs help herself. Let her know that you would love to help her get her and the kids all on track. I’ve been stuck in a hole like that myself. All I needed was a little help."
"Go to the court and apply for emergency guardianship. Let them know what is going on. Make a report also with child protective services. Depending on what state you live in if you dont make the reports soon you might also get in trouble for not reporting since they are under your roof. And you sound like a great mother who dosnt need to be in trouble. REPORT TODAY."
"Well first of all, you can’t just get guardianship of someone’s kids that easily. You can put in a call to CPS to have someone check and make sure that the kids are going to school And are taken care of properly. And then they’ll have to go through a home check and other several steps allowing the parents to make things right before they would even discuss removing the children from the home."
"Well first of all if you even mention taking guardianship she is going to flip out on you. You’ll have to approach it in a way where she won’t think that you are basically saying you’d be a better parent to her kids than she is. That is so odd though I wonder why she’s so against It that she will lie about it… maybe just make a comment about doing that see how she acts about it and go from there. I definitely think she is going to feel attacked. But of course idk how a mother wouldn’t want that for her children anyway so what do I even know about it…"
"You can get a power of attorney of the kids. You can print it offline and get it notorized. Your sister will still have all her rights but it gives you the power for school and medical. I’m involved with a program similar to foster care but the mamas keep their rights. The kids just stay with us while the mama needs help. I get a POA for every kid while they are here so I can do school/medical things."
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