Sorry Long story here. I have a 10yr old her first 4yrs old her dad was in and out of her life he would go to work to different places he would be in and out of relationships so he was never a stable father that was the reason i guess… after those 4yrs he started a more “settled relationship” and when he had two other kids he started to send me messages again but i didn’t had any custody case or child support case i took him to court just cause he will randomly send me message that he wanted to see her that day and that i had to take her to him so it was only when he remembered he had a daughter and it was only by hes rules basically,cause it wasn’t always every other weekend it was just when he felt like so thats the reason i took him to court, so the judge gave me full legal custody and we share physical custody ,the judge told him he was basically only testing him to see if he really wanted to be involved in her life or not so he had to be fully committed to what the judge order and to be on time and not to miss the days he was supposed to get her… well its been a year but he has been almost the same he is always late he is supposed to get her at 3 and he is always here at 5 never on time or he would txt me that he can’t pick her up 1hr later… and my daughter says when she goes over he is always on his phone or sleeping, this weekend he was supposed to pick her up well he send me a message that he had surgery and he wasn’t feeling good …well hours later i saw a video from one of our mutual friends and he was at a party …my question is should i go again to court? Or should I just continue with this situation? Ooh, and not to mention he is not involved in her school activities. He never goes if she is getting an award, and plus, in these 10yrs he has only paid like 6times the child support if not less.
I would go back and have the order adjusted.
Yes. Your daughter deserves better than him.
Yes go back and get all custody, and full child support
Go back. Get full custody AND child support
Definitely go back. Document the video and messages and take them to court.
I dont really think the judge will revoke his rights based on just not showing up on time. It sucks for your daughter though.
Document everything so you have proof of his behavior when you go back to court. I doubt the judge will revoke his rights based on the provided information so it’s probable that not much will change.
Personally, I would focus on being the best parent possible to your child and not stress about his behavior. If he doesn’t show interest, then don’t push it. Your daughter won’t be shorted any success in life not having her father be accountable.
As a judge once told me, not even he can make him be a father! Don’t waste your time in court! Both my sons are over the age of 18 and figured it out on their own. It doesn’t end there either, just wait until grandkids come and they get to play grandfather of the year!
If he’s late, sorry you had plans. Be on time next time
It sucks it does. I am/have gone through this, still do. Document what happens. But be the best mom you can be. Don’t be a mom who holds grudges.
Also sometimes life does happen - have you asked why he doesn’t pick her up at 3pm? Maybe he is working and can’t leave. Your daughter will know who is and has been there for her.
And you write everything down keep text and vedio also what daughter says and go back to court
Is he a danger to her well being? Does he present a credible threat to her? If the answer is no then I would NOT become the wedge between what little contact this child has with her father. No matter how nice you word it to her when she asks (because she will ask and wonder many many times and she Will reach out with or without your knowledge) you made this decision definite. I would leave the door open for her to begin finding out for herself. This is what I did with my son and I have NO regrets. First 5 years were inconsistent then nothing. 6 years passed of not seeing his dad. At age 11 he saw him once. Spent time with him and hasn’t seen or heard from him since. Not even for his birthday. He’s now 13. It hurts. It stings. He knows I won’t be the one to end contact. I will never take my son’s right to reach out to his father ever. He knows he can call him whenever he wants. He want to see him but I can not answer for his father. I can only answer for myself. He understands. It’s hurtful but he deserves my honest response. I was afraid he wouldn’t be ready but he says “mom I want to know…”
Yet go back to court
Don’t hate me for what I am about to say…
You’ve never asked for child support so its obvious you don’t “need” it. If you are and have been fully capable of taking care of her financial needs yourself then it seems as if you just want to punish him for not being there. No matter what its not gonna make him be a dad. Just cut him off. Make him seeing her completely on your terms or not at all. If he wants to have her in his life let him take you to court and prove it.
As far as all of this goes. Have you tried sitting down and talking to him. Tell him exactly how you feel without fighting, belittling or threatening one another. Sometimes it’s the parental situation that keeps parents away from the extracurricular activities. Even visitation.
I wouldn’t take him to court. Just let him go, your daughter is old enough now to know that’s it’s not you it’s him… unfortunately you can’t make someone want to step up to the plate.
Yes, Go back get full custody and an order of garnishment for child support
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this! First off, I would definitely go back to court, especially since your daughter is at the age where she can tell the judge what is happening when she is at her dads. And it sounds like you have a very reasonable judge, so I see things going well for you and you can then be done with this constant wondering if or when he is going to show up. That has to also be hard on your daughter. Best of luck!
Take him back to court.
I would take proof of the messages and video, yes take him to court. Nothing will change unless you do
Honestly let him be the shit father he is being but keep all contact opened so when she’s old enough to see through his bullshit and basically tell him to “fuck off”, he can’t blame anything on you by keeping her away. Court just makes things messy and more difficult sometimes. But you do whats best for you because every situation is so different. I’m dealing with a similar situation with my daughter’s dad and thats exactly what I’m doing. It will be on him at the end of the day. Its not easy but its a hell of a lot less drama and stress for both my daughter and I. Keeping court out of it for the most part has made it a lot more civil. Your daughter will know who takes care of her, makes her a priority, who shows up for her for school events and who truly loves her. Kids are so smart and resilient. I wish you the best!
It’s not fair on your daughter she at a age now where she understands so I’d go back to court and sort it out once and for all! And if your daughter asks to see him then let her
I hope you kept record of when he showed up, didn’t show up at all etc. Before you take him to court check your state laws to find out at what age a child can speak to the judge. Put her in counseling. That way it’s not an “he said, she said”. Her counselor can testify that he’s not visiting & the emotional impact it’s having on her.
Court. He’s a dead beat dad. Maybe later on in his life when he proves to be more stable he can have his daughter. I’m sorry his daughter is not a priority to him and he’s causing you and your daughter this kind of grief and instability. It’s not fair at all to you or your daughter
Take his arse to court. I’m going through something similar only I have the upper hand and no court battles. I took his name off the birth certificate, gave her my mums last name, hes never brought her anything, no child support and no rights for the fucker. His drinking, drugs and fake life and family is more important. Your kids father is not a responsible parent. Hes dicking you around. Put your foot down cause later in life she’ll find out what a dead beat he really is and she’ll decide for herself where the real love comes from. Good luck.
I would go back to court but before that when he text to say he is picking her up say don’t bother because she is not well just keep making excuses like him he will get fed up and take to back to court his self so he would have to pay then you can explain everything that happened when he was supposed to pick your daughter up and get the csa involved and get the money he is supposed to pay for his children teach him that he cannot say he’s coming and not turn up its not fair on your daughter
Court 100%. Your daughter does not deserve that kind of heartbreak. Be honest with her about what is going on. Half ass parenting is not parenting in the least bit.
Take him back ASAP. He obviously isn’t interested in being a Dad to your daughter. She deserves better.
Leave it alone its not worth it and not worth putting your daughter through it take the child support and tell him to piss of
Court I’m sorry your daughter has to go through this.
No, it will sort itself out in the long run. Spent many years in court.
Court! And I wouldn’t allow him to take her until it’s Court ordered!
Take his ass to court.
I would have taken his booty back to court 6 months ago.
Yes I’d take him back again
Definitely go back to court. Take screen shots of all text messages, emails, printed pictures of him partying when he should of have his child (make sure the date is printed on pictures). Have your daughter write a letter to the judge, how she feels. Tell the judge your not trying to keep her from him, if she asked to see or talk to him you will message him. (Keep it in writing, PROOF)
At least he’s there for her, some kids never get to see the other parent. Do what you feel is best for the child not just because your annoyed he’s always late.
2 be honest I’ve 4yr old and her father only seen her 4 times,I’ve never stopped him either and would never take him 2 court it’s his lost, the child is to important 2 me to damage her wee head and we r doing great we actually walk pass him on the streets sad I know but her happiness is all that matters. Good luck with wat u deside 2 do