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QUESTION:
"I need help with something that has been bothering me for about 3 years now. I am twice divorced but realized that I am still in love with 1st husband. I want to tell him, but he is married now. We still have a good relationship & stay in contact with each other. I don’t want to ruin the relationship we have now, but should I tell him I’m still in love with him? We are in our mid 50’s with adult children and grandchildren. The way the world is today, I just feel like he should know, just in case something happens to one of us. This has been driving me crazy though. I think about him every day. Just looking for a little advice."
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"No. He’s married. Leave him be."
"No he’s married. Not only is that disrespectful to his wife but I’m sure your children wouldn’t appreciate it either."
"“In case if something happens to one of us” is not a justification for wrecking a home he built with another woman. Seems like you’re just bitter and jealous and trying to stir the pot. Learn to love yourself instead……"
"Leave it alone, don’t mess up his marriage. It’s over, move on and be grateful you’re still friends with him. Enjoy that friendship but don’t ruin it by messing up his marriage and thus possibly ending your friendship."
"No. If he’s happy in his marriage then leave it alone. Think about how you would feel if you were his current wife and an ex came back mucking things up."
"No. Leave the man alone."
"You would only be telling him to make yourself feel better. It would be one thing if he was single and you thought you could rekindle something. Telling him now would be cruel to those around you. Cruel to him and to the wife, kids, and grandkids."
"No hes married. Leave him be personally! No need to turn his life upside down you’ve had your chance your chance of happiness with him now its his wifes turn!"
"No, he has another life just let it be and remain friends. Maybe you guys were not meant to be as a couple."
"No. If you were currently married, how would you feel if your husband’s first wife confessed her undying feelings for him? Disrespected? Annoyed? Upset? Some things are better left unsaid. Move on and work on yourself."
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