Should I trust him?

I’ve been seeing this guy for almost 10 months now and it’s been going great. We have a great time together we laugh we joke and it’s all round enjoyable. He’s always been secretive with his phone and his life from day dot, but even if it’s just messaging his dad (and I’ve seen it genuinely is). Lately he’s been more secretive than ever and never opens WhatsApp in front of me anymore and I know he still goes on it. I’m start thinking that he’s sleeping with other women as he goes to the gym a lot but I’d like to think I give him everything at home! He definatley doesn’t go short. I then question if there something wrong with me as I’m the same woman he goes to bed with every night. Help a mama out please ladies xxx

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should I trust him?

Can you maybe just ask him ?

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Talk to him about your feelings and see how he responds.

Get into the phone to check it when he is asleep.
If you talk to him, he is going to make you think you are crazy. So check his phone.
Do you know his whereabouts? Not working late or coming home late?

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You need to ask him . May be go to the gym with him .

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Hell, I go workout… Doesn’t mean I cheat on my husband.
So, maybe try being an adult and talk to him. Then, based on the response, make a decision.
If it feels wrong for you, you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Move on.

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My ex literally had women he was fucking saved as “mom” and “dad” in his phone… but what you’re saying sounds like red flags… Leave before you waste any more time

It doesn’t matter if he’s getting it at home, if he wants it elsewhere, he’ll go after it elsewhere. You need to talk to him about it.

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First check his phone out coz he could possibly deny everything amd make u the bad guy if u find something talk to him if u don’t tell him you don’t understand why he has to be so secretive coz it maku think something going on

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I’m in the same situation.

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Never anything that’s wrong with you. More a lack of what they have.

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Most people aren’t honest when asked directly what’s going on, so do what you feel is right for you to get to the bottom of it.

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Firstly you already defended his behaviour about being secretive from day one, nope nope nope a srs trusting relationship hides [email protected]!

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Why move him in after dating 10 months ?

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I dated a guy with a secret phone one time. 11/12 years ago. This went on for months. One time near the end he went on vacation with his buddies…. I was on his computer and his yahoo messenger started dinging…… I found out he was talking to his ex wife, a couple ex girlfriends and quite a few others. He couldn’t take time to message me back when I texted him but would message his ex wife back. His neighbor lady hated him so I went over and asked her why and told her my dilemma…… she showed me her security camera footage…… sometimes when I would not stay with him, he would have other company…… so I compiled all that info and kept it to myself. I asked him about a month later why the secret phone and asked specifically if he talked to other women and he told me no, like it was his first word he ever said. Then I asked him if he ever cheated and I got the same response. I asked him if he would ever lie to me and he replied no. So I showed him all the dirt I had……. He tried to make me look bad and I just walked away! You already know what the answer to your question is…… it’s secret for a reason!

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I wont mess with someone thats shady nor will i go thru a cellphone. If hes shady about anything dont waste anymore time with him. Life is too short. My 2 cents

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I would not ask a bunch of women, they’ll make you more insecure than what you already are

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Ask him where your slackin

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Sounds like you may be dating a Narcissist. I’d cut ties. There’s more to a relationship than sex.

This is a tough one . I’ve dated a guy that hid his phone starting randomly but he ended up proposing and told me after that was why . But if he’s always hid it then idk.

You do what you gotta do. My breaking point with my ex husband was when I realized I couldn’t relax or just have fun spending time with him. I was always questioning in my head what he was doing, where he was at and with who. Granted he cheated on my for months and this was afterward when we were trying to figure out if there was still a possibility of an us. Regardless,that’s not a way to live. Find your boundaries, decide what you want, let him know how you feel, if it doesn’t change make the change YOU need to be happy.

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Here’s my question- Why does a grown ass man need WhatsApp? That’s the first problem.

When you have nothing to hide, you hide nothing.

Just trust your gut. Women have that kind of intuition.

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If you have to ask, you have your answer.

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I don’t let my husband see my phone. It is none of his business. I don’t want tobsee his phone it’s none of my business. We have each other’s passwords. We trust each other. He’s entitled to privacy. My ex husband always wanted to be in phone and know everything. I hated it. I will never live like that again.

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Open communication is a HUGE love language. If you can’t have that with honesty then it needs to go strait to the :wastebasket::put_litter_in_its_place:

Run, red flags all over! U definitely are not his only girl!

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Anyone with what’s app is definitely with other women,

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Well you need to point blank tell him he either cuts the secrecy or your cutting him from your life. Don’t make 10months of this go longer than necessary. Being unable to trust your partner is a big deal and the relationship will never be good.

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When I dated a guy that was just like this I found out he had many gfs

Idk. But why even have a WhatsApp? Lol

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This is laughable. Ask him. Decide whether or not you trust him. Make a decision.

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After 10 months everything should be open and honest. Ask him about it. If he’s shady. Run. Before it’s to late.

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First off, there’s nothing wrong with you.
Second, if there’s no trust, then there’s no relationship.

Thinking the same thing as others. He has a wife and your the other women. :grimacing:

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Honestly , he could also be planning some kind of surprise for you . I suggest just talking with him about it & trusting your intuition . But make sure you can clearly see and / or feel the difference between your intuition & clouded judgement . Honestly , I think you should just be blunt & straight forward , without coming off too hostile or aggressively .

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You might be the main person that he is interested in but it sounds like he is keeping his options open and likely doesn’t want you to know. And just because he “goes all in” definitely don’t mean he ain’t getting it in someplace else. Being secretive is definitely a big red flag.

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I have a rule at 32 years old u don’t need to have a snap chat or whatapp. Those are both cheating apps in my eyes.

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I didn’t even read the whole post. I saw “should I trust him?” and I KNOW you should leave just by that question.

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If something telling you something going on believe it

Do you meet him at the gym

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Nope. I dated a couple diff guys who were weird with their phones, they were cheating.

And there’s a big difference between privacy and just plain weird.

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Hes up to something he doesn’t want you to know about. Trust your gut

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Many or wifed up good luck

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Trust your gut. Also theres nothing wtong with you if hes cheating theres something wrong with him.

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Some people are just like that and don’t like people seeing conversations,…I’m like that! Maybe if he’s gotten more secretive, he’s planning something special… Don’t ruin it, lol

Why is it that people automatically jump right to saying he has cheating? You don’t know that, smh

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My husband is that way with his phone and we’ve been together 11 years. He deletes conversations every day. It’s an ocd of his. Set down talk with him. Don’t let this ruin 10 months. I almost let it ruin mine. And to be honest it still gets to me. But trust is everything. If you don’t have trust you don’t have anything!

Phone privacy and going to the gym are not conclusive evidence, you need to tell him about your feelings and see if he’s supportive, defensive, or dismissive, and that will give you more to go on

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You can do everything right in a relationship n still be shit on

Is. He. Married but. Separated

My bf deletes all messages (texts, messenger, emails, etc) and closes all screens but it’s to not have excess junk on his phone to save storage space and battery. He’s been in that habit since before me. I trust him and know it doesn’t mean anything such as cheating.

Spy on him. Follow him or drive by gym like an half hour/hour after he gets there to see if he’s by himself or there at all. I know I will get those dumb comments like WTF she gotta do all that for but if u really want to know there’s always a way to find out. Just remember if u find something just know u have to deal with that emotionally. Some women can’t handle knowing so pick your poison as the saying goes. U can outright ask and won’t really find out or just do your FBI investigation without him knowing. Also remember if u bring it up to him he will know your on to him. I would just not say anything and do a couple pop ups or put a tracking device on the car or phone.

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I dated one who hid his phone and he was seeing someone else, even cried his heart out when we broke up, found his new gf on fb and she had been in a relationship with him even prior to me and he stayed over every weekend. I’d run

Have you both agreed you are exclusive? If not some men need to understand that is your expectation in the relationship. If so then yes big red flags! He should never hide any conversation from you even if it’s with his family. He’s lying about something! Trust your instincts!

You just described my world. Honestly if you Can run before you too attached then fucking run

Go with your gut…but you shouldnt need to see his phone

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Ask him to go on what’sapp to check some settings or something bacuse you think you’ve done something to yours… if he gets all weird about opening it infront of you pull him up and find out why…