In my personal experience if he wants any part of your relationship kept a secret he’s cheating and you are the other woman. Kick him to the curb and leave him there
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This Is not a healthy relationship. Please move on 
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Nope. Something sneaky go on there. Kick him to the curb.
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Maybe he already has a wife,just saying
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Red Flags everywhere with this one.
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Honey, you’re the side chick.
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I don’t understand the point of cheating if they are unhappy with the sex life in their relationship or just unhappy period just tell that person and split up cuz cheating does nothing but hurt people too much and causes episodes of snapped
Search him on the internet be careful.
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Sounds like a narcissist. They mirror you to pretend it’s this amazingly kismet, special relationship with so many things in common. You haven’t met his family and he’s keeping things a secret because they’d tell on his lying cheating butt! There’s got to be some other woman that’s been in the picture, or he’s afraid they’ll tell you it was the other way around in his relationships. He was the cheater.
Pack up girl or move him out! Go to a women’s help shelter to get yourself straightened out.
Trust your gut! 4 months after dating is still cheating.
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You know you just don’t want to face it. RUN
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Bet he is still cheating. If he wants ur relationship “secret”, he is likely using you as the “other woman” 
RUN.
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The fact you have even had to write this post is mind boggling to me. Kick his ass to the street, block him and find a man who respects you.
Kick the c*nt out. He’s just using you. He shouldn’t have to be told, asked or pushed to meet his family or any of that, he should be proud and want them all to meet you.
The fact that you’re asking means that you already know something is wrong with your relationship. The day you accept that is the day you extricate yourself from this dead-end relationship
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Same here follow you guys, not your heart
God gave us Women’s Intuition for a reason. Use it.
Trust your gut. Ask for a completely open ( not that way) and honest relationship. No secret passwords. Both phones can be opened by either of you. All computers too. If he hesitates, ask him why. Listen to his answers. If you Don’t believe him, then time for him to go.
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Maybe he is doing you a favor by not introducing you to his parents!
My in-laws were super horrible!
They invited us over for Thanksgiving dinner.
When we walked in the door they said that they already had eaten. I started laughing so hard thinking that they were joking.
No, they were not.
Needless to say that I refused to go over there again.
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I wouldn’t trust him after finding those messages and then he telling me let’s get married but it should be a secret… RED 
do not get involved with him anymore.
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tf are you smoking? Every one of those things you listed is a red flag! he’s cheating on you 100%
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You’re a grown woman with kids. Dont let this boyfriend come in and act like he wants to marry you and keep it secret?! Thats not love 
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Sounds like he’s living a double life. Prob has another wife and family who he goes over to his parents with
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Why be in a relationship with someone who wants a secret engagement. Who won’t properly move in together. You’re not a serious long term option for him. What’s the value in being engaged if noone knows about it. Hes got more than just you in his relationship life. If he loved you he would be bursting to tell everyone you’re engaged .
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It sounds like you know all your answers….
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Him wanting to get engaged in secret and not even having his family meet your children is already a red flag on top of those past messages to other women
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Way too many secrets to move forward toward marriage. Get the truth about your concerns before you get any deeper. Sounds like he’s living a double life.
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Trust your gut instinct. It is 100% correct 100% of the time…
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trust has to be there I would be careful
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Sounds like he already married and your the side chick
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Drop him like a hot potato. He is no good
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Run his name through the court system in the counties he has lived in
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He is hiding something. You need to know the family dynamics with him and his family. Take it slow and evaluate as you go. It’s easy to get into relationships, however not easy to get out once you commit. Listen to your gut.
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Is there a big age difference between you two?
there’s so many red flags in this girl. follow your gut. No matter what I would not get married to this man. You have far too many concerns to agree to marry someone and rightfully so. Personally, if i were to stay in this relationship I would proceed with caution and takes things SSSLLLLOOOOWWWW. Also, do you have an obvious amount more of money than he does? If so and you do decide to marry him then I would get a prenup for sure. good luck
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Girl don’t walk… but RUN !!! He’s hiding in plain sight, the laptop is a huge RED FLAG, and the fact of not meeting his family after being together 2 yrs?? RED FLAG #2…It’s a good thing he isn’t living with you now…How do you know whatever else is on that laptop that’s hidden?? The fact that your asking advice is telling your gut instinct this is bad news…
How can you trust someone who wants your marriage to be a secret? Or who has set up meetings after he was already with you? Or who hasn’t let you meet his family in two years. Come on now.
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Trust your gut when it tells you shit is wrong…its always right.
Wow…if you re-read your post and pretend that it’s not you writing it …how do you think it would come across??I’ll tell you …toss his lying ,cheating ,game playing ass out …but keep the lap top …you’ll need it 
First is he wants to marry you but keep it a secret!! Ummm do what? Does he have another family that he’s trying to be a double-lover or what? Marriages are supposed to be sacred and everyone should know your married
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“wants to marry me but keep it a secret” the rest doesnt matter after that. leave him
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Girl RUN! I recently got out of a 12 year marriage with a younger man. I too have grown kids. His family met my kids the day we were married and never seen them since! They don’t care to include my kids in anything! They’ve never met my grand blessings! Hell I was rarely included in “family” things! And if I was, was shunned! I made more than twice what he did. With all the red flags I had, I still fooled myself! I should have run, fast, hard and long, years before! You have many more red flags! Secret? From who? Why the mystery and secrecy? Talks with other women? Oh hell no! Don’t care if he hooked up or not! Why the hell was he looking? And who didn’t act on it? Him or them? 
In a good relationship, you should be his first priority! And all cards on the table, complete honesty and transparency! You deserve so much better treatment! Love yourself enough to find the man who will treat you like his queen and kick this loser to the curb!
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your an adult do as you wish but that is un sat not satisfactory
Way too many red flags
You are right to question this relationship . Many what ? stuff . Do not encourage him to move in . Maybe have a date and discuss this . Good luck 
Well, he’s using you sweetie. You can count on that.