Should I worry about this girl my SO works with?

I wAs married for fourteen years and we never did anything alone without one another and I found out he was cheating and everything happened during working hours. And they didnt even work together. So yes its possible.

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I can’t say whether or not your gut feeling is right or wrong but I’m seeing it from both sides right now

  1. You got into your own head and went looking for a problem that wasn’t there and he is being honest

  2. He was quick on his feet and had a good reasonable excuse for the texts and now he knows you’re onto him and you may never know the truth

Also, I know it’s rough to deal with jealousy but some jealously is normal in any relationship. In regards to their friendship (or whatever you want to call it) he could very well be attracted to her (we are all human) but it’s the actions that matter the most.

I heard a saying once “you can window shop you just can’t go in the store” to describe the fact that as humans we will always find other people attractive, but it doesn’t mean you actually want anything to happen or you actually want to deceive your partner… it’s a sticky situation, but getting too deep in hypothetical scenarios won’t solve anything.

Maybe just try to have an open conversation about your feelings and thoughts without it being accusatory and see if you can gain any insight.

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Counseling. He clearly has some feelings for her, but how does she feel about him? Maybe she has no interest. Everyone says leave and start over, but that’s not as easy as it sounds.

Trust no one is all I can say

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Despite what some people are saying, you aren’t crazy. If he knew it was you then why did he play along? Knowing it would hurt your feelings and make you feel awful? He’s lying to you and making excuses, don’t fall for it. He might not be a bad person but he’s clearly no good for you. Trust your gut always! He texted back the way he did because he genuinely thought it was that girl, don’t let him fool you with sweet words and nothings.

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Women know. You instincts are normally right. I’d ditch him.

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Have you considered that maybe that woman doesn’t want your man?

How did you text him as her?

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He’s ready to cheat no matter how much of a good provider he maybe … so sad …I would leave I couldn’t be with someone who gets excited for someone else

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My first thought was… Maybe he knew it was you because he’s already cheating on you with her? :pensive:

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Looks like you kept digging until you found what you wanted, the question is WHY?

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You did the right thing and the wrong thing. You jumped the gun, shoulda waited to see if he was really gonna try to go hook up with her then confronted him.

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I mean if he wasn’t home and away at work or whatever and by her, then he obviously knew it wasn’t her… but unless you know where he was then he could just be trying to play it off. Men are flirty, so are women and when our guts say something isn’t right, it typically isn’t… you tried to play the player…

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Worried about the woman??? Worry about your man! He’s the one who is obligated to say no

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Soooooooo, he ISN’T at work 12+ hours after all…

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You only went half of the way. Should have invited him to a motel and told him to bring wine and condoms. If he turned up then hes busted. No excuses for that. He wouldn’t go there holding those things “knowing” it was you all along.

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You are not overreacting. He is only saying he knew it was you because he got caught.

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This literally happened to me. His work wife ended up pregnant by him and I get left in the cold devastated and having just suffered a miscarriage 2 months prior.

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He had no idea it was you. He’s a liar.

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My question is how did she text as her?

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Pretending to be be someone else is crazy lmao. But that boy didn’t know that was you. He just lied because he got caught.

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Trust your guts it doesn’t lie as ii found out twice

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If he knew it was you why would he Intentionally hurt you? He lyin sis.

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Ummm how could you text him pretending to be her? Wouldn’t he figure it out by the phone number the text came from?

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Wow… if you’re gonna do crazy don’t half ass it. Should’ve went through with letting him “meet up” then you’d know for sure… sounds sketchy though tbh

how do you text as someone else??? Do you not know what caller ID is? Did you buy a whole new phone to text him? did you go in delete your number and all your text convos so you could do this? He probably did know it was you honestly.

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I went through something similar with my ex and he told me the same thing. IT’S BULLSH*T!!! Don’t fall for that. He thought he was getting it on with another woman and now he’s playing you, don’t be a fool.

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Just to answer some of y’all questions of how she texted as the other woman…there are apps that allow you to use someone else number to send texts. (Spoof text) I did it before years ago and found out my bf at that time had gotten the girl pregnant (the girl I was texting as)

You girls are bitter and scandalous holy shit no wonder guys dont trust girls. Making it hard for us the not crazy

That gut instinct is usually always true.

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You both have issues you need to deal with, if your playing games and pretending to be another woman and he was willing to go on a date with another woman, you both need to work on things

Nah he got caught and was making sh*t up

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Girl! You know! You don’t want to, but you know.

If you have trust issues that has more to do with you than him. Love yourself first. I mean the way you described him he sounds like a good man. If he was entertaining someone else he wouldn’t be coming home at all. Try being more adventurous with him and go out and stuff… sometimes we can become comfortable with doing the same things and it can get boring. Spice things up. Imo lol Good luck.

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You should of played it differently. Said you would rather meet somewhere else and watched how he was going to get ready and lie to you about where he was going and then confronted him.

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It’s not uncommon for couples to have a little crush on someone else…the point is if he or she does anything about it…
Crush usually goes away…
It sounds like he is a good guy…
Instead of having no confidence in your relationship maybe get a sitter…set up a romantic night…when he isn’t exhausted…
Something totally different…
Exciting…use your imagination…
Put a little spice in your lives…

If you feel the need to do something like that you shouldn’t be together.

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The way you did this was not ok. That was sneaky, and low and a way to validate your feelings but for what? You said he’s a good man. It’s normal for human beings to have attractions, it doesn’t mean he would actually cheat.
I would not be ok if my spouse did this to me.

Looks like you have got a good man be thinkful

It up to you what you are going to do

He sounds like a good guy, why oh why did you do what you’ve done not right not fair, now you have to choose a man who does not do any of the social things and a possible Chet if your not happy :smiley: with this guy leave or stay that’s all you have to do, you should have never put him and yourself in this position, your gut was right go with your gut or after 15 years move forward in your relationship. The