My parents had a rule. My Mom did not allow any men in the house when my Father was not home and my Dad did not allow women in the house when my Mom was not home. There were many times my Dads friends would stop by and my Mom would say if you dont see Ronalds truck in the driveway you need to come back when it is. The neighbor lady would always ask the men in the neighborhood to help her. This broad had no shame in her game. My Dad would help her but it was always outside in front of the house. Eventually my Mother let her have it and that was that. No men dont need to be alone with another woman and women do not need to be alone with another man. End of story.
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If he’s cheated before piss him off otherwise it gonna drive urself crazy
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Neither party should do what they would not want the other one to do.
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I wouldn’t want to be a married man’s friend if the wife didn’t feel right. We are to lift each other up. These men are foolish and so are the lil dames they play with. They both know better if if nothing is happening. You don’t have to like it.
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Plus, the fact that you don’t like it DOES NOT define you… his actions his issue, not yours.
All y’all talking about trust, know this. You can trust a man and he can still cheat.
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Given the circumstances he met her when he was single, well that’s just that’s just weird and a little suspicious for my liking. Maybe if you were invited too I wouldn’t be so suss but if their excluding you then I’d be putting a stop to this friendship.
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Absolutely not okay, especially alone at her house.
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Friends is cool, I think hanging out alone at their house crosses a line though
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All I’m gonna say is… If U have a problem with what ur man is doin… and he makes ever excuse and reason to continue to do the things that bother U then U have an issue… he’s not respectful of how ur feeling… he’s making excuses and reasons for not wanting to change bad feelings to good. If U don’t fix it… it will fester and cause a rift and then a whole lot of doubt… self doubt. Misery in ur mind and heart… which will eventually effect ur health… I suggest counseling since ur married. It’s got nothing to do with anything beside ur feeling and him not acknowledging them. Which is awful for anyone. Trust issues are the worst issuse… to those who trust I am so happy for U and how the hell do U do it?? For those who don trust or can’t for whatever reason… truth floats! Hang in there… be honest about everything and all lies will untie and ur spirt will once again fly!!! 
I suggest everyone give honesty a serious go! No one wants to hurt or get hurt or do the hurting but healing hurts! Plain as he pain of being alive yo!! Be real and real things will happen… if U are with someone U can’t trust or is a dishonest person. Detatch as soon as possible! Live free!! 
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Nope coworker and that’s it why does he need female friends nahh hard pass for me
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Heck no. Guys think with one thing. Trust me on this.
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"im a Christian that’s why I have a problem "
No your having problems cause that dude don’t feel like you trust him and he purposely wants to fuck with your head and insecurities…
That’s a whole lot of nope right there.
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Nope. Not a good situation at all. It will eventually go to far or she’ll have enough and he’ll come crawling back to you. Either way you lose.
Too many variables. I say hang out with your guy friend on the days he’s hanging out with his gal friend. If he isn’t bothered by you doing it then it’s probably a trustworthy deal. The second he shows jealousy or concern I would say he isn’t being loyal.
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The fact that he just met this “friend” while y’all were separated is what has me suspicious… My bf works in the medical field, which is already predominately female, so most of his co-worker friends are female. He’s gone out with a couple of them either by themselves or usually with other female coworkers. Drinks after work or whatever. I don’t have a problem with it but I also know them, have met them. Met their husbands and such. There is at least one female from his work that I can’t stand and am not ok with but that’s a whole different issue. Bottom line is, to say “no, you can’t have friends of the opposite sex” is just ridiculous. I have friends that are guys. They’re just friends though. 
So there shouldn’t be a problem.
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I have 4 male friends. I consider them dear good friends. I rarely see them. We talk on fb. We’re close and comfortable talking to each other. I would never just go and hang out at their place. Don’t feel the need. We stay in touch easily on fb.
You are right to be concerned. It can’t go on.
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How would he feel about you hanging out with a guy “friend” alone at his house??
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He shouldn’t be hanging out with any female alone if it was reversed I’m sure he would have a problem with you spending time with a man alone in a guys house neither of you should be spending time alone with the opposite sex little long in their home by themselves. I would be like you all can be friends but if your are going to hang out alone I’m sorry its just not proper.
I think that particular friend is banned from alone time. But my husband has friends that are women and generally I would trust him because we talk and know and trust each other. If you can’t trust him around other women than that’s your problem.
You are correct there is something wrong…it is Adultery. The Dude made a vow before God to love this woman to the end of her days…but he also lied. He’s not just hurting himself or her but another her too…and that isn’t love.
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I don’t think it’s an issue unless it’s out of character for him. I have seen so many different relationship dynamics. My husband however doesn’t have any female friends so if he just got some randomly… yeah that would be weird lol
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Nope he’s a single man I’m out
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I have been in your shoes before. Lady that we both knew kept calling my hubby and we have a rule… if you need to talk to my hubby you call me first out of respect. We told her this many times she didnt listen so we changed our numbers and are no longer involved with her. How would he like it if the shoe was on the other foot?
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You being Christian doesn’t have shit to do with it 
Friends don’t usually hang out alone at each other’s house
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My husband has a girl best friend but they really dont talk much anymore and they definitely don’t hangout alone lol
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I have a few make friends that I might go visit alone or with my man , I have known them well before my man and we are just ( not sexually attracted) friends but I might have a 420 sesh and stay over due to driving and it’s no issue . It really depends on the friend and the individual.
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Depends on how friendly
Just throw the whole man away and start over.
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There is nothing wrong with him having friends that are women, just as there’s nothing wrong with you having friends that are men. His statement about your feelings being based on your being a Christian shows how uneducated he is. Your feelings on this shows you don’t trust him which may be justified in this case.
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Men can have female friends. Women can have male friends.
It’s all about trust.
If someone wants to cheat they will find a way to do it man or woman
im a guy and i say oooh hell no,if im with a chick,gf/wife,there’s no other girls in my life,sisters yes,other than that nope,but that’s me i don’t want my gf/wife to have guy friends eather,you have the right to fill the way you do,its your life,
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I trust my husband completely. There is not a doubt in my mind that he would cheat. But this would not happen. He even wouldn’t let that happen. It is disrespectful. I wouldn’t do it to him neither. And this sounds so not right. I have had Male best friends. And this doesn’t seem right.
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Having female friends I have no issue with, but being alone with one is a whole another story.
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Seriously, since when is it healthy to control who is friends with who? :0 i would never accept to not see a friend because of my boyfriend and i would never ask something like that to him either. Its normal and healthy to have friends.
if he wont agree to not seeing her alone at her house get a divorce
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Depends. What do they do or where do they go…? Alone? Can you & do you join them at anytime?
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I guess I’m different. If he met her when you were separated and she’s still single, maybe she’s partly the reason in you two working on your marriage. She could have just been a listening ear when needed and really has zero intention or interest in taking it further. Those who are there for you through your difficult times are the ones you want to keep around. Trust is something that’s a must, otherwise there’s no sense in being together. Look at it this way, he met her and still decided to be with you. You can’t force someone to love and be with you. They either do or don’t. At least he’s not keeping it a secret and letting you know what he is doing.
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Sis.
If he is hanging out with a girl he met when you guys were separated… alone at her house.
He is cheating 
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If there are friends they become both your friends. Going to hang with people of the opposite gender and you are excluded…I believe that is called a date.
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He’s cheating! Jus saying
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Neither my husband or I would do this … we trust each other… but this is just disrespectful… no… nope … never
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New friends that he made while you were separated is odd, does she know about you? Lifelong friends or something of the nature sure but a new friend? 
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Get a male friend and hang out like they do alone at his apartment just you and him hang out and be friends if he has a problem with it tell him what he’s been telling you it’s because he’s a “Christian” but seriously if he gets pissed at you for doing the EXACT same thing then you have your answer he’s obviously mad because it’s not innocent like he wants you to believe. Neither of us have friends of the opposite sex that we hang out with all alone that alone is fishy.
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I’m not sure how I would feel either especially being alone with the female to me your man is cheating if it was a friend he’s had for years that would be different
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You were separated. My husband and I separated and got back together. We didn’t talk about whatever either of us did while separated. We moved forward.
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What’s there to gain when being alone ? some sexy time
Friends w benefits ?
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I have a lot of female friends if my girlfriend or wife can’t trust me not to do anything with them then maybe she shouldn’t be my girlfriend or wife my best friend is female
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I’ve hung out with guy friends alone and gone out for lunch/dinner with them, even while pregnant. My husband had zero qualms with it. These are his friends too and he knows I would NEVER ruin our life together by cheating. Trust is the key here. If you don’t trust him, why be with him?
I’d say because you’re controlling and insecure you have this “problem”.
I think it’s fine for men to hang out with woman friends. I trust my partner and wouldn’t worry at all if he was hanging out with women on their own. I also know he wouldn’t worry about me having guy friends and hanging out with them on my own.
Friends are friends. Anything more than that, and either he’s untrustworthy or you have trust issues.
As a guy, i have several female friends. Some of them are really close, like they’d choose me as their support person during child birth over their baby daddy. Others, not as much. But both my wife and I understand that our friends are our friends, and nothing more. She knows which female friends I find physically attractive, and she knows which ones tempted me in the past. But at the end of the day, I chose her, she chose me, and I’m not going to let anything interrupt our union. If I do feel like I’m losing control and being pulled away, AS A MAN I need to be willing to cut off that friendship before it gets too far.
That’s my marriage though. You need to figure out your own. You can be justified in not being comfortable with him being alone with another woman, but is it the generic idea of it, or are there specifics that cause that discomfort? What if she was a lesbian? Would you still not like it? What if she was ugly? What if she was your mutual best friend? If you don’t trust your husband, then there are bigger issues going on than who he’s hanging out with. Sit down, talk to him. LISTEN TO HIM, and then get him to listen to you as well. He’s your partner, NOT your enemy, so treat him as such.
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What does he need from a female friend that he can’t get from his wife? That’s why you choose 1 person to spend the rest of your life with. That 1 person becomes both friend and lover, the complete package.
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A male can have a friend that’s female. My fiance has plently of female friends and he helps them now and then or talks to them. I have no problem with this as I trust him 100% and I have my male Friiends. Simple there’s a line you never step over it
Some are saying it’s normal to have opposite sex friends. Which is true, I have a male best friend that I’ve had for years. But one thing tho we never hang alone at his place, we might go to lunch and talk or hang with a group of friends but not alone at his place nor mine. But she’s not talking about a friend he’s had for years, she said They SEPARATED and in that time frame he met a girl. Now she’s back with her husband but he hangs out alone with this girl he recently met. That isn’t normal. Why does he feel the need to keep seeing her & alone at her place at that? Idk but that sounds fishy. He should either have her hang with you and all your other friends or just stop talking to her. Usually when someone meets someone while on a break or whatever it’s for a reason. If you haven’t met the girl yet, then that’s really a problem. Have a talk with him, if he doesn’t respect you then it’s time to leave him for good this time.
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No, I would not let him
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I’m very surprised at how untrusting most people are. I know a lot of people are insecure. But I have guy friends. My best friend is a guy. I hang out alone with him, at his house. No problem has ever or will every come up. My husband also has female friends, he has spent time alone at their homes. I’m not insecure, I truly trust him, I have no issue with it. It’s all about trust. Now if it ruffles your feathers, he shouldn’t just say screw you and do what he wants, their needs to be a conversation and to work it out. But you do not OWN your husband, he is a free person with the right to make his own decisions.
Why not if you trust your man then it shouldn’t be a problem
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My husband has female friends as I have male friends. Some will call in for coffee while hubbys at work. But then we do have trust in each other. I dont keep anything from my hubby.
My husband doesnt want me having Male friends and after some red flags not on his side I dont want him having female friends either and were both good with it
In the wise words of Chris Rock: “Men don’t have platonic friends. We have women we haven’t f**ked yet. I mean, we got some platonic friends. I got some but they all by accident - every platonic friend I got is some women I was trying to fuck, I made a wrong turn somewhere, and ended up in the friend zone - Oh No! I’m in the Friend Zone!"
I know it’s not a very progressive way of thinking but from my own personal experience, I’ve never had a platonic male friend that didn’t want to canoodle me.
I think you are ridiculous
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Just depends on the contexts of the hanging out🤷🤷 and who it was. You know your man, you know y’all’s people. So you’d know if it’s shady or not.
I think that if you’re not going out with a friend of the opposite sex by yourself there is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex if you’re married however I don’t think it’s a good look if you’re going out with the opposite sex even if it’s a friend if you’re married by yourself. I think it’s a respect thing for your significant other and yourself to be honest.
My partner has friends who are women. He even hangs out with them without me being there. And I don’t have a problem with it because I trust him not to disrespect me by doing anything that could break my trust. Maybe see if you can all hang out together so you can get to know her better? It definitely sounds like you have some trust issues though
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It is NOT right to be entertain in her home without other people being there. His wife or partner should be there also.
I think A LOT of people are not reading this throughly. It clearly stated him going to HER HOUSE to hang out alone. Let’s not forget this isn’t a long time best friend or something. I don’t care how much u trust ur man or woman, if they are going to a friend’s house to hang out alone, then yea there’s a problem. Why can’t the wife come along? They are just friends anyway… right?! My husband met a friend at work and guess what, me, him, her and her bf went out to dinner all 4. When they came over it was the 4 of us hanging out. So yea.
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Of course he can have a friend that is a girl, having met this friend when you guys separated is a little concerning. Were they friends then too, or were they “friends”? If they slept together while you guys were separated, they don’t need to continue the friendship now that you guys have reconciled. Hanging out at her place is a no go, they can go out for drinks or do things, no need to be alone in a house. If she’s not interested in being friends with you, that’s a red flag. If you’re not allowed to be included, that’s another huge red flag.
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Why don’t you get yourself a male friend and have him over your place and see how your husband thinks of that.
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… and this is why you don’t get married… this girl doesn’t even want him to have friends even when they are separated… 
that’s sad…
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Imagine being in a relationship where you can’t trust that your partner has an emotional connection to anyone other than you 
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If you do not trust your so to be around the opposite sex why be with them? I have many male friends that I would never give up and he has female friends. Men and woman can be just friends and it’s fucked up if you limit those friends based on their genitals
What does being Christian have to do with not trusting your husband. It shouldn’t matter who he spends his time with … if you trust him… if you don’t trust him you shouldn’t be with him.
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Yeah, you can.
If you trust him, it shouldn’t be a problem. You’re married anyway.
You do not have this problem because you are Christian… do not use religion as an excuse pleanty of religious people do not believe this or be restrictive of their partner
Sophia Poulos oh hellllllll no
I think it depends how long they been freinds for iv got a male freind who been freinds with since we were 13 he’s my best mate he always used To Come mine for a brew if we ever went out I’d make sire there was alway make Sure there were some1 Else cause I know my partner didn’t Like it even tho thourght it was a but silly cause we been freinds since we were 13 xx
She may trust him but still find it inappropriate. I personally wouldn’t hang out a male friends apartment.
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I believe it should be ok for him to have a friend of the opposite sex. However, out of respect for you he should not go to see her alone. He should include you also. I get your concern, just because your married doesn’t mean he won’t cheat. Lol go get a guy friend and see how he feels about it. relationships shouldn’t have a double standard where one partner can do one thing and the other can’t. If he respects you he will listen and do the right thing. If not then maybe you shouldn’t be married.
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yes… if not then its a controlling relationship…with a serious lack of trust which is bound to go bad… if you cant handle it then… maybe you dont need to be in a grown up type relationship… and just stick to booty calls…AND YOU CANT LET BEING A CHRISTIAN WOMAN BE A EXCUSE… CAUSE ITS NOT… as god doesnt tell you you cant have friends of the opposite sex… wtf… grow the fuck up!!!
He can have female friends if he knows how to act but hang out alone? Nope
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We your religion isn’t why you feel uncomfortable about this…he’s full of excuses. I personally don’t mind but there’s some solid boundaries that better not be crossed lol
I’m guessing trust is a problem 
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Yes… I believe a man and a woman can be friends. With that being said:If he were friends with her before you met and you knew her, it would be one thing but the fact that he met her while you were separated and you feel disrespected, that’s a different story. He should respect you feelings and sever this new found “friendship”.
I’m bisexual. So does that mean if I get married I can’t have any friends?
My husband of 12 years has a bestie that’s a woman, my bestie is a man. We are both adult enough to understand its platonic. If you are separated from your husband then he is allowed to speak, see and hang out with anyone he chooses. You have no right to control him.
No no no no no no no no no no! The fact he met her when you were separated and is still “friends” with her…NO! The fact he knows you are uncomfortable with this “friendship” and maintains it anyway… NO!
My hubs and I have plenty of friends of the opposite sex, we’ve been married almost 21 years and have know each other since high school… BUT we respect each other and if either of us was upset about a friendship, the friendship would be over or changed … seriously marriage should take priority over some friendship!
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I am not a religious person at all. This is not okay! Partners male or female should be included in get togethers!!! If my hush was “hanging out” at a girls house alone with her he best be asking her if he can live there because he will not be in our home any longer!
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Personally friends are friends. I dont care if my partner has a different sex partner, as I expect the same treatment. If they were hiding their friendship and they wouldn’t talk to you I’d set some guidelines but other then that idc about them being friends
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I would absolutely NOT be ok with my husband going to his girl friend’s house like this. Just as he wouldn’t be ok with me doing the same. I would have concerns that it would open up opportunities to destroy our marriage. We have boundaries set up that we both participated in creating. It’s not just what would bother me in the moment that matters or vice versa. As for the being separated part? I don’t believe that should change any of the boundaries you set and vows you made. But again that would be something you needed to address prior.
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I don’t think the problem is a female friend here, but the respect. Female friends should be allowed, yes, but if you’re uncomfortable with this particular female friend I feel he should be respecting that and not trying to turn it on you and say it’s because you’re Christian.
But look at it from a woman’s side we aren’t allowed to even have a guy on our feed without guys accusing of cheering
I think going to her house is the wrong setting. If they meet up in a public place like a restaurant or bar it would be better.
I don’t think anyone in a committed relationship needs to be hanging out alone on personal time with the opposite sex. Don’t put yourself in that situation and you won’t have that situation!
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Go hang out at a guy’s house alone and see how he likes it
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This sounds like a trust issue. If you can’t trust him alone with another woman should reevaluate
Here’s my take and my reasons. When I met my husband, my house was always open to friends. So usually there was guys and some girls all over the place. 4 guys & 2 girls who stayed religiously… Every single one from one time to another would always try to make their way to my bed… They even told me we wanna hang with you because you’re fine…when I got with hubby, they all had to go. Years later, i let a girl I knew come around…more of a step family member. She’d hold and help with my kids, all while trying to sleep with my husband. He immediately told me and we both got all-over her ass…Call me insecure, IDGAF, but I trusted a lot only to get burned. So to not cause problems, we don’t have friends of the opposite sex…and here we are 10 years later, 6 kids and still going…do what’s best for you. Not anyone else. At the end of the day none of us are there…