Hey, everyone out there. Quick question. I don’t believe it’s ok for a married man to have a girl. That’s a friend and hang out alone at her place. What are your guy’s thoughts on this? He knows that it’s something I’m not comfortable with. We were separated, and he met this “friend” while we were separated. I just wanted some other people’s opinions as he says because I’m a Christian, that’s why I have this problem.
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I wouldn’t be ok with it at all.
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If you don’t trust him you shouldn’t be together with him.
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In that specific case hell no
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I’m Athiest and would not be okay with it. He is trying to gaslight you to make you feel like you are crazy for not liking it.
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What does Being a Christian have anything to do with this
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I just… I feel like… how much more obvious could he be
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If it was a childhood friend… but someone new. Ask him u you can have a new guy friend?theres at least emotional connections…
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I think it’s okay for a man to have a female friend but hanging out at each other’s houses with the spouse is a big no for me. Wanna go to brunch? Sure. Super Bowl party? Why not. Just nothing alone.
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Every marriage is different but in my marriage no that’s not ok. That’s just asking for trouble. He has female friends but he hangs out with them in a group setting. I have male friends that again I hang out with in a group setting. Why would you set yourself up for trouble is always what I say. But to each their own.
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Nope!! Especially since he met her while he was on the fence with you. Nope. If it was a lifelong friend that he had and I was able to come over her house with him and hang out and we all hung out and did things then yes as long as he was never left alone with her. if you ask him if you guys can hang out together or go out for dinner together so you can meet her and he says no then there’s your answer.
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Just because a man is married doesn’t mean he can’t have female friends and hang out with him I could see if he’s been friends with her for years and wants to go to her house alone and hang out but just meeting the female friend and want to hang out at her house that’s not okay
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Were they friends before you got married.
My best friend is a man and comes over when my husband is AND isnt home 
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My best friend is a male, married to someone else, if you don’t trust him than you shouldn’t be with him
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Being a “Christian” has jack shit to do with being insecure
If he met her while you were seperated then no way…he is trying to have the best of both worlds and that is definitely not okay. And he is gas lighting you because he wants you to think your crazy and wrong when you’re not.
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Um no, he meet her while u were separated…that is a big red flag!
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If they were friends before yall met then no it wouldn’t be an issue … but you saying he met her while yall were separated. Baby girl … he was probably screwing her while yall were separated and probably still is. He’d have to cut ties with that asap rocky or i would be out the door. Christian or not … you definitely don’t have to look like a 
and that’s exactly what he is doing love. Nope nope fuck nope.
I’m sorry but it’s a little toxic to say someone can’t have a friend that’s the opposite sex without a valid reason. Was he seeing said woman? She’s a woman btw not just “a female”. Or, do you just not trust him? In that case, leave 
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I don’t mind my guy having friends that are women. I would be worried if he said I couldn’t have guy friends but he can have friends that are women. That would be a deal breaker for me. I have been down that road and it’s not fun.
Get a Male friend and see what happens.
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Can a female have a male friend. Just f*ing trust eachother
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HELL NO married men should not have female friends. No explanation needed.
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It’s on a case by case basis as no one man is the same
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Absolutely, if you dont trust your husband then you have zero reason to be with him, a married man is absolutely allowed to have female friends, take your insecurities some where else on that.
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Sounds like you need to find a “male friend” too:woman_shrugging: plain & simple:clap:t2:
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I guess I’m weird and think guys can have female friends and women can have Male friends. Over half my friends are guys cuz women are just too much drama and I dont enjoy many girly activities. Now, if these 2 friends have seen each others O faces then maybe I’d have an issue. Does he ONLY hang out at her house or do they go places? Are you excluded from hanging out? Everyone is different I guess.
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Its normal for men to be friends with females, and its normal for females to have male friends as well. Its up to your partner to be faithful to you. Did they hook up when you guys were broken up? If you cant trust him alone with someone who is just a friend why are with him at all?
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No not to hang out with
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No way ! Would never tolerate it !
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Sounds like you’re pretty insecure.
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This is tough…my question is are you friends with her too? And if you aren’t, why? That will give you your answer…
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Female friends. Sure. Hanging out alone. Hell no. Met her while separated? Not just a friend, they slept together. So absolutely not acceptable. And why would he want to hang out with her especially alone when y’all are back together? Because they aren’t just friends. And religion has nothing to do with it. WAKE UP!
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It’s a no from me dawg
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First of all he’s his own person and you cannot tell him who he can and cannot be friends with. Especially if they were there before you.
Secondly, if you don’t trust him then you shouldn’t be together
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I think the issue is hanging at her place alone. Not the fact that she’s a female, plus they met when they were apart. But I’m saying that my husband and I have discovered that friends of the opposite sex aren’t healthy for our relationship. They each tend to scheme and cause issues, now we have friends in common. But he would flip he shit if I went to a guys house
I’ve always had more male friends than females. Doesn’t mean you are unfaithful.
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having female friends aren’t a problem but hanging out with them alone and then lying abt it to your spouse tht is when there is a problem if the relationship is true u shouldn’t be hiding it either its a friendship or something serious
Have friends that are girls, sure. But friends that are girls and then hang out alone together? No thank you.
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Sounds like he’s blaming/diverting and you’re projecting. Having friends isn’t a problem, spending time with them without you isn’t a problem. If no one respects the relationship, THAT’S the problem. Faith has no play in it.
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Well, my bestie is married as am I. Our spouses have met and we are all very close. He and I are like siblings. We are never alone and respect each other’s marriages. We text up to 5 hours a night. I don’t agree with him going over to her place alone. He needs to respect you or needs to leave you alone. We are both Christian, I am a Minister and he is a Pastor’s kid. Alone is a Big NO.
No married man needs another womans companionship outside his marriage. If she was a mutual friend, that’s a different story.
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Would be the same if it were the shoe was on the other foot to. Married women not having male friends. Personally I think that’s ridiculous… You’ve probably got trust issues and insecure… just saying But I don’t agree with that.
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OK can you have a male “friend” and spend time alone with him? See how that works.
No even no, but HELL NO.
I would say no. My ex husband is now married to his " friend" that was a girl. So …
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Why would someone’s husband need to be talking to another female that’s what his wife’s for
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Tell hubby you met an old friend and you’re going to go over his place for dinner watch the reaction
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A lot of women who obviously don’t trust their men on this post wow. Very insecure people. Talk about controlling. It is okay to have friends who are male or female. If there is some reason you can’t trust him, ask yourself why? Is it because he’s cheated on you and you stupidly took him back or is this some made up insecurity in your head? Either way it’s truly disgusting to try and dictate and control someone else’s friends, regardless of gender.
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That’s like saying women cant have male friends if your that hurt by it then maybe you shouldn’t be married if you cant trust him
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If there’s never been a reason to not trust him sure I don’t care I’m not gonna force something that isn’t right for me if he cheats on me he’s not the one for me end of story I’m not gonna walk around life being insecure because other people have issues
Sounds like he’s using your Christianity as an excuse. If that’s his “friend” why not introduce you and have the 3 of you talk or hang out?
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Not okay. Would he let you go chill with a guy in the same way??? Doubtful.
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He met her where you where broke up. Absolutely not. He’s cheating. Only girlfriend they should have is ones that you know the entire time.
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If it was a friend that’s been in his life before you ever came along and I’m not talking acquaintances I mean a good friend that was able to also be around you then I wouldn’t care. But just some random girl he met while you guys were on a break then heck no. I dont care my husband can talk to whatever female he wants while out and about but going to their house alone and exchanging numbers, That’s a Big No for me.
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Of course you have a problem, there’s a trust issue that hasn’t had time to heal yet. Until it’s reestablished for both of you, especially him, he will continue to feel the need to have a “Plan B”.
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Pretty sexist to think men can’t be friends with the opposite sex…
Also if you were separated it shouldn’t matter
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As long as she isnt a homewrecking ho and as long as your obviously welcomed to hang out with them. If that’s not the case, then no. Idc how much you trust your guy, some women are just vindictive and like to destroy relationships. Guess they wanna feel that every guy wants them…nope…some just want what they easily give up.
I don’t see a problem with it , if she’s been his friend for life. When I was married my ex husband wouldn’t let me have male friends now I have 2 I trust with my life
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Soo your mate isn’t allowed to have friends outside of you? I encourage my husband to have female friends because over half the time they can explain the shit in my head better than I can because it’s a different perspective… same for me and I have lots of guy friends (most of whom are gay) and my husband is ok with it… sounds more like you just don’t trust your husband in any capacity
I’d be okay with it, unless given a reason not to be
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Nope. I wouldn’t like it all
You have this problem because of your own insecurity, not because you’re Christian… You either trust him or you don’t. He is at least telling you and not running around behind your back. Get over yourself and let him have friends.
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Yikes! I don’t think that is ok. If they have been friends for years I can understand that…however, if he met her while y’all were separated, I’m not sure if that’s a great idea. Just my thoughts. Good luck
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Females can have male friends and male female. Your married not in a life sentence. If you can’t trust your spouse or they don’t trust you to hang out with a person of the other sex. Then there is no trust. If you have no trust then you shouldn’t be in a relationship.
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Trust is a HUGE factor in any relationship. I have a male friend that I hang out with at my house while my husband is at home or work. It works because we have trust in each other. In my opinion male/female friends shouldn’t be the issue, it’s trust.
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My husbands best friend is a female she’s married as well it’s all about trust I know my husband is faithful and would never disrespect our family in a horrible way as such no matter what though men have a natural instinct to flirt even if it’s unintentional
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Having a woman as a friend is one thing. Having a woman friend and hanging out alone at her place, as a married man? No. Not at all. And he met her while you were separated? Not sure why he feels that’s remotely ok. It has nothing at all to do with religion and absolutely everything to do with respect. Something doesn’t feel quite right about their “friendship”. 
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If my bf ever tried to tell me who I could or couldn’t hang out with, I’d be walking. I am my own person and I decide who I am friends with, not anybody else, not for any reason. I would never expect him to drop anyone just because I felt ways. That’s a me problem. It’s one thing to voice your apprehension or insecurity to the other person, but a whole other thing to just be like ‘you can’t be friends with them’
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No!!! Not that I don’t trust him… I don’t trust her!!!
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Hes screwing her… kick his ass to the curb don’t be dumb
My experience (twice) was that both times they were sleeping with their friend. Sorry.
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My best friend of 30+ years is a man so I don’t have an issue with longtime friends. Now going out and making new friends might be an issue
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Paityn Simpson remember all the ‘friend’ excuses you were given… One was even old enough to be his mother 
I can only imagine what my husband would say if I was like nope only male friends for you! Like females are invisible because you said “I do”… So silly!! True friends are hard to come by! Keep them when you can.
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Sorry I say a man can have female friends just as women can have male friends no matter when they met them or if there married or not
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My husband will not be alone with a female at his house no matter what, period.
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Aslo since you were separated you cannot get mad that he has a new friend 
not that you should be getting mad anyways
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Do you have male friends or speak to men at all when he is not present? If so then shut up. I have had male friends my whole life. That does not mean I am sleeping with them. Animals have sex because they have to. Humans do it by choice. You either trust him not to cheat or you get out of the relationship. I can not babysit a man all day long to be sure he is behaving. I won’t babysit a man to make him behave. I will also not give up my male friends and family to ease someone else’s insecurities. That is not my job either. If your man is Chasing another woman then let him run to her but if they are friends then let him have a friend. Take the jealous stuff and leave. I would not stay in a relationship where I am made to feel like a whore because I have friends that I don’t screw. I am sure your man doesn’t want to be made out to be a whore because he has a female friend.
You are in the wrong relationship with the wrong person if you can’t trust them to have a friend.
You are also a control freak that I wouldn’t be around if I were a guy being told I can’t have friends.
When men do that to women we call them abusive control freaks that want to isolate a woman and keep her under thumb. We tell women to run from THAT type of guy because you will be miserable and alone.
Don’t be the abusive control freak. If he hasn’t shown you that he can’t be trusted then drop it. If he has shown you he can’t be trusted then get out and find someone trustworthy.
There is not enough time to play detective all day. You are only hurting your own sanity.
My husbands best friend is a woman. I have zero issues. They hang out once a week after work at her place. Zero issues. She is single. Zero issues. They lived together when we were separated (we now back together). Zero issues. If you do not, or can not, trust your husband then get a divorce and stay single.
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Hanging out completely alone w just her, no. Something is definitely up
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He is your problem! You are worthy of so much more.
I say a man & woman can be “friends” HOWEVER when you are married you may have friends of the opposite sex but not go to their apartment or house to hang out! ! That’s what you do with your spouse.
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Married the key word , he should respect your feelings …
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If you don’t have trust, you don’t have a relationship. But I do believe you should be included in some of his n her get together. Might put your mind more at ease
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There is absolutely no such thing as a homewrecker your man has to be the one to open that door, and if hes known to cheat and your still with him then you have zero room to cry and be upset. If you trust your husband then there should be no problem.
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Well since I’m close friends with 6 other male friends, one since kindergarten, I would take great offence to that. You should trust each other. But then again I usually make friends with their significant others as well. So if you don’t know her then maybe it’s different
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I have several guys who are friends, always been better with guys than female for friends. My husband also has several female that are friends. We have 0 issues with it. I have one guy friend I go out for hikes in the woods and he will randomly have lunch dates or whatever with one of his. We trust each other completely and never hide where we are or who we are with. I have also never been a jealous person or anything as such. But he has also worked with WWE NXT divas and one day when I came up there, they all said hi knowing who I was before ever being introduced because he never hides me and I never hide him. We are still our own person along with being a couple.
Uh im an athiest and i would have major problems with that. Religon doesnt mean a thing in this situation
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Is this “friend” a fuck buddy?
No one owns anyone in this world men and women are allowed to be friends with whoever . You can ask them not to but in the end they can do what they want married or not. Friends are always good to have. Male or females
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This post brings out all the insecurities and the ones who dont trust their man 
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My boyfriend’s best friend was a girl for the longest time. They’d hang out/go out just them. My best friend is a guy we hang out just us sometimes, too. Bottom line is; if you can’t trust your partner, YOU SHOULDN’T BE WITH THEM.
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Turn the tables. Then see if he has a problem with it
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I’m totally not down for this either, my husband wanting his friendships equal, like if he’s hanging with the husband and her fine whatever but just her, alone, at a house?—NOPE
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If it’s a proper relationship with true love this wouldn’t be an issue, he wouldn’t have a need to cheat and you wouldn’t be insecure
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A friend sure. But to take it as far as hanging out alone at her place? ummm no.
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ild be worried only if she isnt talking or inviting you or wanna get to know u
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Okay well, If it was some friend he has had, especially some longer term one, I’d say it would be fine, and you are over reacting. We can have friends of a different gender. It does not immediately mean cheating or threat.
BUT it is fishy hes spending time alone with her at her place and that he met her while you guys were separated.
It also would depend on how “friendly” the lady friend could be. I wouldn’t be comfortable if female friend was flirting with him all the time or something.
Female friend stuff is kinda circumstantial. Based case by case, not something black or white and it can’t have a blanket answer.
So depends, girl. Hope you figure out the details you need.
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Well my husband always told me the moment I wasn’t allowed to be where he’s going to be …THAT’S WHEN I SHOULD BE WORRIED. His words. The End
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