Should married people live apart?

My husband and I have been fighting a lot lately and i think one of us should move out…what are your thoughts on married people getting their own apartment?


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should married people live apart?

If my husband told me he was getting his own apartment, he would no longer be my husband. At that point might as well get divorced and move on with your life.


I personally don’t agree with it but many couples will thrive under different circumstances. What you should really consider, what part of living separately seems beneficial to your marriage? There would be double the financial stress by paying for two separate households, trust may certainly be an issue in two separate houses, are children involved? Where will they spend their time?


It would be a no for me. Especially since we have young kids. You’re in or you’re out.


I think it’s the first step to separating for good


My husband and I agreed (for us) a separation would look like living in separate rooms in the same house and discussing what boundaries would be in place during that time…AND we would seek professional counseling.

Separating in leaving the home can do the opposite of what a lot of couples want, especially nowadays.


My thought would be … if I’m moving out, I’m getting a divorce!!

What would be the reasoning behind staying legally married if you’re NOT living in the context of the marriage?! :face_with_raised_eyebrow::thinking:


Getting an apartment isn’t just time apart. That’s a long term commitment. It sounds like it’s over


I wouldn’t say an apartment but maybe y’all could use a week apart? There is no point in your husband or you getting an apartment unless y’all are splitting up .


Vows said for better or worse…“Work It Out” Find Common ground or get a divorce… if my husband and I have to live in diffrent houses cuz we can’t agree then we will no longer be married…


As a means to avoid arguing? Doesn’t sound like a great approach.

You need to resolve the issues, not try to escape them with an “easy” fix.

Properly arranged, sure.


My hubby and I seperated for nearly 18 months after the first Covid lockdown. We are living back together now and happier than ever


If you feel like that’s an option, I’d say cut your losses and move on.


I think you should try couples counseling and see how that goes.


I used to be against this but after 20 years of marriage my husband lives in his mancave in the back yard. It works for us for now. We did completely separate for a few months & realized we didn’t want that, but we are in a place where we are having to mend ourselves as well as our relationship with each other. Our kids are fine with it as they have both parents that still love them & each other but much less fighting. We still have meals together several times a week & make sure we spend some time together each day. Sometimes in the house sometimes in his cave, we just have our own space now. Eventually we hope to share a bedroom again one day.

My ex husband and I did this ,
He left for 2 weeks came back and nothing was the same after that we divorced few months later.


Pretty certain thats called breaking up x


A structured separation can be beneficial when it has a purpose. But you need a counselor that can help you both define it, set your individual and team goals, execute it, and then evaluate where to go moving forward. You both have to be on board and committed to it though. It can’t be one person or the other that is making the decision.

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I left my husband for over two years. We reconciled now and have been way better off since the split. Every relationship is different. But he is going to think you are sleeping with someone else.


Im an overthinker so its a no for me dawg


My husbands ex wife wanted to do that too!!!
That’s why he divorced her!!!
So no I do not feel it is ok by any means, marriage counselling would be the correct approach :heart_hands::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Umm I’d try counselling first. There’s no way I would live separately from my husband or significant other unless it was the end of our relationship or marriage…

Depending on your situation. Time apart is different than living apart. Could one of you stay elsewhere for a few weeks? Even an Airbnb?


Relationships aren’t always linear and y’all may need more space in this season of life. My current partner and I choose to live apart because we need our alone time and our solo space. I don’t see the harm in living apart as a married couple

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Sometimes space is best. Me and my husband live apart half of the year. It works for us.

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Live in separate rooms.
Once you live apart, you will drift apart further and someone will stray.


If you BOTH think some time apart would be beneficial to the marriage then do it. I’ve seen it work for some couples.

Sometimes a little break is necessary and can be beneficial for the marriage, not completely moving a part but staying a week or two with family, friends or even a hotel to have space for thinking and to put things in perspective, but this should be done for more serious things than a fight , if you are arguing/ fighting too much you should find the reasons and try to working out if the solution is to move maybe you guys should just get a divorce

Everyone is different and I say whatever works for the couple that’s what they should do, there’s no right or wrong answer here it’s whatever works for them

seek marriage counseling
Or taking a break give each other some space
Doesn’t mean to be single or do single stuff though

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I’ve heard is done in healthy relationships, and it works for them. However, it’s a different story if the relationship isn’t in a healthiest to spots to begin with.

Please not I’m not saying you shouldn’t take a break if that’s in the best interest for one or both of you. If that’s what’s needed then so be it.

Why would it matter what everyone else thinks. What ever you guys decide is what might work for you and not everyone else


I wouldn’t say apartment because that would be basically separated. But I mean I think it’s a good idea for couples living together to have their own rooms. I mean y’all live in the same house just pick what bed to sleep in. Even if it’s just like a guest bedroom. Something for your own personal space. It’s really up to y’all and how y’all’s relationship is


Maybe try separate rooms. And maybe couples counseling. With an apartment usually comes a lease which means which ever one Moves is stuck for usually a year. Then twice as many bills and twice as much stuff.


Lol that’s called separation

Lol my niece and her husband did that… she ended up having a boyfriend over every night. :woman_facepalming:t2:


Perhaps a good suggestion

Try a vacation. One of you go somewhere for a week. Then the other

Should married people get married?

Its called divorce… Moving out or running away isnt going to solve anything.


It happens i know from personal experience and let me just say it worked out just fine for us. But its not for everyone and may not work out for you. It takes a lot of understanding and patience to work through something so difficult. And it is costly js…

What ever happened to commitment ? Commitment to figuring out what’s going on in the relationship and how to fix it …. Living apart is never an answer to fixing something

Get their own apartment? This doesn’t sound like it will end well. Y’all are married not dating. My advice go to marriage counseling.


Different rooms is okay but not separate homes

Sounds like you want a divorce to be honest


For better or worse. If you feel the need to live separately you might as well divorce.


That would be a nope from me. Running away from the problem and dividing your time PLUS financial hardship from supporting 2 households! Stay and face your problems together… I don’t necessarily believe in counseling BUT if you have a church seek out minister counseling.


I think if you guys set rules and boundaries sometimes we need time apart to assess and addresses. But it can’t be a we were on a break situation .

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My husband and I separated for a while and worked on ourselves now we have the best relationship and can get through anything together. And the biggest thing is communication. We tell each other everything even if the other person doesn’t want to hear it

My best friend and her husband have had separate houses for YEARS and it works perfectly for them. He works 4 on 4 off and from her house adds 35 minutes to the drive. And he works wierd hours. She’s a super early bird. It just works for them. Even when he’s home( at her house) he has his own bedroom. They don’t cheat ,they dance in the kitchen and are happy as hell

Uh … :joy::joy: I think that’s called being ‘Separated’…

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I had 4 children with my partner and after 15yrs, seperate living was required

Everyone is different. I’ve thought about this before. If living apart you’d be able to go back to dating each-other, having romantic nights together and making an effort for each-other again. You could stay at his and he at yours. And those bad days where you just want to be alone, you can be.
But I understand the other side of the argument also. I’ve been with my husband for 19 years now, he’s my best friend and we laugh together all the time, a lot of that is spontaneous funny shit happening, which might not happen as much if we didn’t live together.
Anything is worth a try, if it doesn’t work you can always go back to how you are now.
Conventions are just rules followed by the many, not rules you must abide. You do what works for you and makes you happy.

No they should not live apart… They should work on things together people give up too easily nowadays assess why you’re fighting assess if you’re being fair especially if their children involve you… People should be more mature than to fight all the time… If my husband told me he was getting his own apartment that would be the end… There’s usually some underlying bullshit that someone is an admitting

I’m not married but have been with my BF for 4.5 years. We moved in together at 1.5 years and lived together for two years. Unfortunately the stress and uncertainty of Covid amongst other things- we have been living separately since January of this year and I will say that our relationship is stronger now than it’s ever been. We’ve gotten to experience the “ugly” side of each other and move passed it.
I agree with what the other person said in this thread- try it if you think it will help but yes have an end date and also give it your best.

Might as well divorce then.

Sure if you don’t mind him bringing other women home :joy:

Excellent idea but who’s going to mow the lawn and put the bins out :joy:

Would be ok as long as the Mrs cooks his dinner every night

Might as well divorce at least that’s what I’d do

That divorce is coming soon

That is not a marriage… In my humble opinion

I’ve heard of couples sleeping in different bedrooms but not living separately.


It’s a cope out. Talk, remember why you fell in love, go have some fun

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Ma’am, that’s called being Separated. :woman_facepalming:t2:


Hell no. You are married for a reason. He dont need to go to a new place you need to suck it up buttercup. You should of never said I do if you wanna live separate…

And I think one of us should move out :rofl:
Well go on then start packing your shit and move out Lmao

Would be a No for me
Talk out your problems
Get help


Why even stay married? :joy:


Maybe buy a house with more then 1 dwelling, like a pool house , or a loft above the garage. We all need some personal time


Have you tried counselling? Prayer? Communicating?


Yes you can live apart if your looking to be single again. Men just don’t stay by themselves for long. They have girlfriends and sooner than later want a divorce so he can be with her.


Just end it, you cant squeeze water from a stone


But if it works for you, do it!

Some time’s it works out better

Apartners (Living Apart Together)

A therapist told me once that separation should only be temporary if you need space make sure it has an end date. She suggested at most 2 weeks. She suggested trying to sit and work through issues before separating even for a short time.


My grandparents did. It worked for them.