My husband is currently on his 8 week parental leave. He has 2 weeks to go before getting back to work. We are first time parents to a 5.5 month baby boy. He wants to go away for the weekend on vacation before he heads back to work, leaving me and the baby behind. I am already back at work, I work nights so he is pretty much with the baby during the day and the baby sleeps through the night so its not bad. But, is it wrong for me to not agree with him going on vacation without us? Also, we have a good relationship and we love and respect each other but I just dont know whether to support him in this. I know how life changing this has been for the both of us and a part of me wants him to go de stress, but a part of me wants him to stay with us. Any advice?
Can you go with him? Or ask him to take a family trip
Why does he feel he need a vacay and you don’t . And you guys both work . I would feel the same way .
If its just a weekend let him go, especially if he’s been taking care of the baby during the day. I bet he gets to Saturday night and will miss you all like crazy. Any more than 2 nights though I’d be concerned.
Let him go, and then when he comes back you go away, and leave him with the baby on his own and see how he feels
I honestly think he should stay. I understand that the opportunity to get away for awhile is amazing and maybe even needed but this time off is for your baby! This is a time for adjusting to new life and building that bond with your baby…
It’s called parental leave for a reason…
Just my opinion though.
I Think its Selfish…Why not take you’s too.Wonder why Females get Post Natal Depression…
I mean I just turned down a paid for vacation for me and my 4 month old with family. I said no bc 1 I want my husband to be with us as a family for my daughters first vacation and 2 he works his butt off for us and deserves a vacation too. I would probably be upset especially if I was working.
Wtf? What kind of husband goes away on vacation leaving behind a wife a new baby? Ummmmm hell no, when you have kids it’s called a “family vacation”!!
I personally don’t see what the issue is? It’s a weekend. We all feel the need to get away, especially after a baby. I’d only be mad if/when you want to go by yourself, he objects. But then again I’m not one of those people who always needs to be with their partner and enjoys time apart
No u need the weekend get away
My husband wouldnt even want to go without us
Is there any reason he wants to go by himself and not take you? As much as having a baby can change things, i would rather take a weekend to just be with my spouse
At the end of the day everyone still needs their own space. Its selfish to not let him go since he has been there for you nd the baby. Yall just have t adjust to the new baby.
He probabably just wants to take advantage of the time he has off. Since you just went back to work you most likely cant get any time off. However I would be upset too lol… Maybe you can mention having your own Vacation when you can get some time off. See how he would feel if you went without him. Maybe he will understand the way you feel. I guess it depends on what type of vacation he wants. Would it be like camping/fishing man getaway for vegas type party get away?
I don’t see any issue with it. Mom’s want breaks too when most of their time is spent with the child. Everyone needs a moment sometimes.
A fishing weekend, nothing wrong with that…
So I’m still figuring this Facebook thing out and I found this page and I love all the mommy support! But I feel as if Your the one who had to carry the baby for 9 months not him if anyone needs a vacation it’s you. Just saying. I find it weird and I also feel like if anything he’d want you to go also.
I’d definitely tell him how you feel because I definitely wouldn’t be okay with that.
I don’t know if because I’m old lol and most my kids are nearly grown and my youngest is 9 or if because I’m just more laid back but I say why not. I feel like if he has the opportunity to do it now and you have trusting relationship is there really a reason not to. We all can use a little time to decompress and be by ourselves or to do something we enjoy and Once your both back to work life will get a little harder. I would just make sure he know one day it might be your turn and he better be supportive.
Definitely let him go! Isn’t that what maternity/paternity leave is for… to take vacations without baby!
After all, he carried a baby for nine months, then pushed it out of his vagina, his body need to heal.
As long. As you could go away with out him and baby for a weekend if you wanted to then sure why not
I think it’s ok he’s been supportive n caring n shows he loves wife n baby , he’s just asking for time to enjoy - weekend- it’s not a long time …
Let him go
Men can’t handle it.
I could understand going out with a friend for a night to have fun. Let loose and enjoy a minute to themselves. Or even going to (for us here) a bigger town to go shopping or do nice things there for a day is no biggie. But a weekend on the other hand is a different story. Especially without the whole family being there to share a new experience together for a whole weekened.
Both moms and dads need “me time” at some point. He’s only asking for a weekend, give it to him. One day you will need the same courtesy.
So… you created a human, went back to work first, and he needs a vacation? I mean, ok.
I personally think it’s odd that he is requesting an entire weekend away. A night out is one thing but an entire weekend ?
Let him and then he can return the favor down the road
As long as you get your time away as well. Balance and equal consideration of one another.
Yes, let him. The older your child gets, and the more children you have, you will see it is extremely important to have a balance of family life and social life.
I’d say let him go then the following month once he’s back at work you take s weekend for you ( or if you’re like me and couldn’t leave baby that long go overnight - Saturday am to Sunday teatime) …
go for a spa with a girlfriend … you’ll both appreciate it xx
We’ve never even had a real vacation at all. Hubby would never take a separate vacation. He had to go away for work for 5 days and missed us so much he was done with it all in 3 days and just wanted to come home but couldn’t. He was with a bunch of guys that were out drinking every night and going to strip clubs. He just sat around in the hotel every evening bored and lonely, just not his scene. We’re high school sweethearts and very close but I just don’t get taking separate vacations from your spouse especially once you have a family. We would both just genuinely want to share that experience together. I just can’t help but wonder if there’s more to that? Really strange.
Personally If y’all are solid and he works hard then let him have a weekend before he goes back to work … but you should feel safe and good about it … the fact that you feel some type of way is the only issue I have for you … prayers and hugs
Why aren’t you going with him?
Yall seem so controlling over your husbands.
It’s a weekend. Everyone needs a break. Everyone needs to reset their batteries.
My ex does it. I do it. My married friends all do it.
Its healthy to take me time. Taking a week off every month would be an issue. But a weekend away and the baby is almost 6 months old and wants to do it before he goes back to work?
I see zero issues with this.
I would say if he goes you take a weekend and go do your own thing.
Let him go see what happens if he’s a good man he’ll get some much-needed play and rest come home and be refreshed and ready to go in return you’ll be able to ask him for the same favor some much-needed play and rest
He needs a break. I get it. Id want a break to myself too before I gotta go back to work and deal with all the stress and the baby at the same time.
If it’s with some guy friends that’s one thing but if he’s going by himself that seems very suspicious and odd. Why not leave the baby with a relative and go away with you for the weekend? I just don’t see why he’d need an entire weekend by himself away from home as his break.
I have been married 15 years and my husband does not go on vacation without me and the kids. I am also a stay at home mom so we spend vacations together. If I cant get a break neither does he considering he works 12 hour shifts 6 days a week no way in hell he would be going without me. I need a break too and I wouldnt do it alone without my husband.
I guess it’s a little strange but I can understand him wanting a break.
My hubby goes isle man for wk every yr. I go away if I need break. If your solid whats harm. Send baby to grannys for wkend. You get yourself out to you both get time to be you not mum & dad
Ladies!!??? Do all of you not trust your husband/boyfriend??? It’s one weekend!! Hell my husband used to take a week with a friend on a bike trip. Y’all need to cut those leashes and let those men breathe a little bit
As long as u get time away with the ladies, i dont see the harm. A weekend away with the guys wont hurt. Might be nice for him. But remind him that you will be doing this with some girlfriends and ge cant say shit about it since he is going lol. Let him go.
Although I don’t agree with a whole weekend, I say let him, and then have your own later. Everyone needs their own time.
If he works hard allow this vacation. All the time ? I’d laugh in his face but if he doesn’t do it often then yeah let him have his time too cuz for 18 years it’s over lol. <sarcasm lol
Hiya lovely! My daughter was around by one when my other half asked if he could go away on a lads weekend. I said that he could. End of the day he works really hard, he is and was a fantastic dad, and they do need some down-time too. So he did go away for the weekend and he really enjoyed it. That’s all that counts. I am sure that he will return the favour to you too one day, so just let him go and enjoy some alone time with your baby. Me and my daughter had a lovely time together. We went to the park, had a picnic, etc. xxx
Did you go on a weekend vacation before you went back to work
let him go take this time for you an the baby without him. Maybe you can plan a weekend outing without him an the baby so you can do the same release some stress. I found when you are more willing for your mate to so the things he likes he is not as clingy an ill mannered. an he then returns the favor because he knows it is something both of you guys need.
Why don’t you all go as a family
I mean, mine wouldn’t go anywhere without us but then again he doesn’t take care of the kids during the day like your husband does. I’m a SAHM & I totally would vacation without my husband & kid😂
I would get a sitter for for baby get a couple days off and go with him! I would be so insulted if my boyfriend said this to me! Not because I have him on a “ leash “ but because we are a family now. The only time you should wanna spend time with us your family. Or a weekend alone with your wife there is no reason to want to go on a trip alone… fight me about it !
I think the men deal with being a new parent way differently than us.
I have three toddlers and I definitely encourage my dh to go out. Like yeah I’m secretly jealous but I need him to be rested happy so he can help me when I need. The men need self care too, perhaps more than us.
Wait what’s the vacation? Like party in Vegas? Or like camping and fishing?
I would let my hubby go just cause hes drives me crazy i dont see the harm
Support your man. Let him go. He sounds like a good man. Plan a get away in the near future for yourself. As a mother we gotta decompress as well.
Nope. If he wants to hang out with friends for a night or whatever, great - but do NOT let him get into the habit of wanting to go on a vacation without you. It won’t be the last time he wants to do it and you will always wonder what he did while on the vacation. He may not have done anything wrong- but you will never really know
I like someone’s suggestion above if getting a sitter and going with him. If he says no to that, he is up to something
Please tell him to swing by and take my husband with him! LOL When you’ve been married as long as I have you’ll be planning that trip for him yourself!
If he’s doing the bulk of looking after little one and is due back to work soon, maybe he’s doing it to de stress and get used to being away from the baby?
He needs to be mind Ready, for when he’s at work all day and can cope without being with little one.
Maybe he’s worried he will miss them too much, and this is his way of being alone without you both and getting in the right frame of mind.
Us mums know only to well how hard it is to go back to work and miss the baby all the time your there… maybe this is his way of dealing with missing you both. Don’t be so hard on him, talk to him about how he feels. Maybe you can do the same also, and he stays with little one.
I must be a bad mother and partner then because I go on weekend trips with my girlfriends and my partner looks after the kids. We both have the choice to do things with friends, with each other and alone. It’s a healthy balance. Ain’t nobody’s business telling me what I can and can’t do, same as it ain’t my business to control anyone either. Learn how to relax and give and take in a relationship.
My oh went to Spain for a week without me and the kids, and then a couple of months later I did the same - and do you know what?? It was bloody lovely! no kids and partner was fabulous! And I don’t feel guilty either, neither did he. Yes we missed each other, but We both came back de-stressed, recharged and ready to go.
Sometimes we all need a little downtime and some time away from being mummy and daddy.
Hell… a weekends nothing!
We go on family holidays twice a year if we can with the kids and if one of us gets the chance for a weekend away we take it.
My mother in law always says, you were a couple first and you were just YOU… remember who YOU are - you’re not just mum and dad and sometimes you need to just find yourself
I don’t see the harm in a little him time…
I guess it would depend on what the vacation was. I wouldn’t be as approving if he was going to be out drinking and gambling. But a weekend away for a MTG tournament, a COMIC CON, a fishing trip or something similar I would be like go and have fun. I get to do what I want too at that point. The mommy and baby time I always enjoyed. My girls are 8 and 5 and they love our mommy and daughter weekends. It’s something we all look forward too.
Haha, he needs a break now…just him wait. lol.
Let him go!!!
He needs to have his own time and space also. Maybe make an agreement that since he gets to go this time, next time you get to go have a weekend away with your friends.
We all need to recharge and get back in a good head space. Maybe he is struggling a lot more than you think he is. And he needs to get a clear, refreshed mindset before going back to work. I would let him go if I were you. It would benefit your relationship as well.
Let him go it’s not going to hurt anyone
If he goes now, take a spa weekend or something in the future. It is only fair and you will need to recharge too.
I honestly don’t see the issue here. He’s basically a stay at home dad so she should enjoy the alone time with the baby! Shouldn’t be stuck up your husbands butt because you’re mad he wants a weekend away. You went back to work already so you can’t say much. But it sounds to me she doesn’t trust her husband or theres more to this story.
If he goes you take one yourself
My husband goes to mustang week with his car friends every year.
Year our son was born I had him in March hubby went in July.
With our daughter I had her in June he went in July.
I wouldn’t want to go anyway to a huge car show.
I usually go see my cousin and Aunt a state away when he goes for a few days.
(He as been going for about 10 years and him and his buddies share a hotel suite, and they have a great time his car was even featured last year.)
He’s been no different than a stay at home mom all these weeks so let him go and have a break. Then you take a break when you’re ready
Grow up and give him your blessing. His life is my just you and the kid. Make sure he takes over fully every so often so you can have your own me time and vacations on your own as well. Yes, you’re parents. That’s just a part of who you are. You’re still an individual with your own wants and needs. And there’s no reason to forego everything for yourself bcuz you have a kid.
You should go with him… You have to remember that there was you and him before that baby… Your baby ain’t going know where… He took 6months off to help you… Some women aren’t so lucky…you should take this time to be with him before he goes back… Your probably not going to get a chance to be alone in the nier future
Let him go if he is willing to let you go later on and have a weekend away
You can only control you…Hes already decided what he wants to do
Now you need to plan a girls weekend for you
Omg shut up y’all… He is still a individual. But if this was a guy asking if he should LET his stah at home wife go away all y’all’s opinions would be different lol he should go she should let him without a fight. He needs him time to
In my eyes he should be able to do something for himself. Same as you. Let him go on this. And then make sure he owes ya one as well. So you can go away and do something for yourself
Some of the responses here kill me. A marriage doesnt mean you lose the ability to do things on your own. I was with my kids father and I wasnt allowed to do anything without him. If I wanted to go out with my friends he always had to come or it was a fight. It pissed me off depressed me made me miserable and I started sneaking out… and then eventually started planning my move to kick him the hell out. You should never ever lose your independance. As long as there is trust and respect both partners should do things as a family but also have their alone time. If he wants to go and decompress before going back to work and it’s just a weekend away with the guys or something he should be allowed to go. And in turn then so should she. This type of stuff is exactly why men and women feel trapped and suffocated in a relationship. Because they are never allowed to be themselves for themselves at all. Those women who are like hell nah… why? Why feel the need to be in every aspect? Just because of a marriage certificate and kids? No have some things for yourselves. As long as hes not running off to Vegas doing blow off a stripper he should be allowed to go. He really shouldn’t need to ask permission. There should be an understanding. Sounds like some are either the jealous type or maybe distrustful or have had issues in the past. But definitely couples need to have something that’s for themselves as well. Remember I said both the men and women.
However I would counter it that maybe you should also get a weekend/night away before he goes back to work lol
Let him go. We all need a little time apart from eachother.
Why don’t you let him go one weekend and the next weekend you go. I mean if y’all could go together that would be even better but I know that might not be possible with a little one. I would love a weekend of laying in a hotel room eating room service and watching what I wanna watch on TV lol
Let him go and plan your one mommy trip
Yes he should get to go but I hope he’s planning it on your days off
My hubby does so much without us
I’ve done one 2 day thing since we have had kids
Do you have other support? This is a hard time for new parents… if you have active parents, siblings, friends, a village have you… then let daddy de-stress. It is a beautiful choatic transition for all involved. Absence makes the heart grow fonder
You both deserve time away , let him go , when it’s your turn , he will be more willing to stay with baby . You will need that time eventually . Good luck
Let him go. In case you are having trouble I’m pretty sure you can call up some family to help you out. Hopefully he will do the same when you want to go away for the weekend
Girl at the end of the day it’s yalls relationship after reading all these comments if it’s still bothering you him going away and you want him to stay home with you and baby talk to him. Or talk to him anyways and tell him how your feeling and here him out on how he’s feeling and why he needs time away. Communication is key and y’all definitely don’t want to fight about this later on so come to an agreement with your husband. Maybe let him go away by himself this time and you go away by yours next time or y’all go away together and next time go away separately just talk about it like I said before in my other post I do feel like you need your away time too just talk to your husband about it❤️ And congratulations on the new baby❤️
I just booked a short vacay for only me. I felt guilty at first because my husband was pissed. But then i explained i just need a moment to myself. I never have any time without him or kids. And he understands.
Please be understanding and let him take a break!! Else he will be resentful.
My BF went out of town the weekend after I had our first baby. I was eventually cool with it. That’s me though. You do you.
All if u go together ! Where is he going seems a bit odd for him to go somewhere alone sounds shady
So, basically, you just want to be controlling just because? Did you even read your own post? You don’t even have a reason to prevent him from going, you just want to.
You should seriously think about why, for absolutely no reason at all, you want to stop your husband from having a stress-free weekend.
You’ve stated zero worries and/or concerns. Stop being controlling.
I would let him go because if you ever need time for you self later on he’ll be supportive of you as well.
Hey its time to call grandma. Which ever one you choose, make sure the other grandma gets wind of what your doing. You and your husband deserve a weekend together without baby. Baby will get spoiled while you are gone. This is how everybody enjoys the week end. The grandma’s are just waiting for your call. Try it. You both should be together at least one weekend. Go for it honey. Baby won’t miss you as much as you miss the baby. Just try it. From a grandma who’s been there and very happy to help you enjoy each other for one weekend. Also I got my great grands to enjoy. From an old lady who knows.