My husband separated from his ex when his son was three. He is now 14. The first couple of years, they alternated their child on taxes. We had him every Friday through Monday and paid child support. When I got pregnant without 1st (we have four children together now), she decided we don’t need to claim their son anymore because we have a kid to claim and filed him behind our back on our year. My husband let it go and has let her claim him for the last eight years. We ended up moving out of state two years ago using our child support and changing to a holiday schedule where we covered all his flights for visitation. His mom sent him to stay with us while she moved states, and it was only supposed to be a month. Three months later, while still paying child support while he was living with us, it was decided he would stay with us full time, so he could go to school in person(her schools were still online while ours were open for in-person learning). At that point, it was agreed we stop paying the 600 a month for child support. We still paid for his flight to visit her until the last one. My husband told her we don’t ask her for child support or help with his school fees; if she wants to see him, then she needs to pay for it. She agreed but only flew him out for Thanksgiving, saying she couldn’t afford to again for Xmas and her living situation was weird (she has three roommates). We couldn’t afford the tickets either after Xmas shopping for five kids. He has lived with us for a year and a half now. My husband wants to claim him on our taxes this year, but I know that will cause a lot of drama and my get his ex in trouble owing a lot of money back to theirs for the last stimulus and the child tax credits. The money would be extremely helpful, but I’m not sure it’s worth the drama. Our parents are saying to claim him as and saying she isn’t our problem. Should we claim him?
I would, you’ve been taking care of him and all the kids it’s only right you get to claim him. If she doesn’t like it that’s her problem.
I have three kids of my own so I totally understand the need/desire for the bigger tax refund involved with kids but I hate tax time for the way children almost get used as a pawn by split parents. I have no advice, I’m sorry. Just here to say how much tax time sucks for the kids 
Not only should you be claiming him because dad has been the one supporting him, he needs to be filing in court and getting legal custody of his child.
I would claim him. You have that right.
You’ve had him more than half the year, it’s fair.
If he’s been with you 6 months out of the year, claim him.
If he stayed with you more than 6 months out of the year and you are providing for him it is within your right to claim him
Claim him only on the years that the court ordered
Get a lawyer and go to court asap!
Yes you should claim him, he’s been with you guys… if she has an issue with it then that’s her issue plain & simple
Legally, it’s your right because he’s been with you and you’ve been providing for him for the last year.
I hope child support to her has stopped. If not you guys need to claim so you get that back since you have him full time.
I was told by tax attorney that despite a court order for custody, the parent who the child lived with for 6+ months during the year filed the child and could seek legal action against the other if they did. the only way to legally alternate tax filing is if the child truly spends their time split 50/50
You better get full custody of him! Not paying child support cause he lives with you will come back and bite you! As long as this hasn’t been changed you have to pay! My cousin went through this and had to pay his ex big bucks even though his daughter lived with him for years!! Get to court ASAP!!!
Whoever the child resides with for that year, claims that child. Y’all had him all year, then you get to claim him.
Claim it you don’t owe her anything or any favours
He’s been living with you, claim him!! Who cares what she says.
Yes and get a court order to protect you next time listing whatever provisions you guys want. Yes I completely understand the drama, but screw it.
Legally he lived with you all year he should go on your taxes
Should all be written in the divorce agreement
Claim him! He lived with you all of last year and you completely supported him financially
I would claim him if he has been living with me and I would even go talk to an attorney or some sort of legal assistance to see about getting everything in writing as far as custody… start making her take care of him or stop living off of him and what she can gain by having a kid
In all honesty you should claim the child…. But also with that being said… this is between you and your husband and what you guys think on it. Everyone’s life is different and we can all say yes you should be claiming him. Cause it makes sense. If you and your husband see the why behind her having to pay back and her still being his sons mother then this year alone you could let her claim him. And tell her that the rest of the years you will be claiming him no matter what. Let her know your grounds on it. That she needs to put the money up to be able to afford for him to come see her or he won’t be coming. That basically you’re doing it as a favor of coparenting but won’t do it again…… but then again those are the two factors on what you and your husband should discuss. Then after I would also go to court and revise the child custody agreement In y’all’s favor. Especially since she got the CTC and didn’t put it back to be able to afford for him to come see her
Honestly well this is all good information I would definitely check with an attorney that is in your area. Laws vary from state to state and sometimes even City to City. You don’t want to end up in a mess of trouble because you’re trying to do things the right way. I’m sure that they have legal assistance out there if you can’t afford to speak to an attorney at this time. Good luck to you all you definitely deserve to claim him after everything that you have been through with him
It’s worth the drama kids aren’t free
Per irs… you claim. She can’t say nothing if you can prove he’s been with you.
Why do people make stupid decisions without going thru the court. If your husband was court-ordered to pay support, and you didn’t get it legally changed, you still on the hook for it. Better watch out, they could come after him for it. Her filing taxes on your year is illegal, and she could go to jail for it.
Y’all should claim him point blank period….
If the sun has been living with you for a year and a half she has no rights to claim anything. You’re not even paying support because he’s living with you. It’s time to go to court and get everything ordered by the court. Time to stop being nice because she seems like she’s got her head upper back side instead.
Ya you should claim him! You guys are paying for everything for him and she’s still receiving child tax?! That’s not fair. You guys deserve some help! It takes 2 to make the child, it takes 2 to care for him. It’s not your problem she doesn’t see him, but not paying for her child is not ok! Poor boy! If you guys claim him, his living situation only improves, and that’s all that should matter really!
Check with an attorney. Prove courts he’s been with you over a year.
Yes you should claim him. Her financials are not your concern. Y’all had him so you claim him
Truthfully you won’t get that much back when u claim him run it with him and without him and see what it does.
Parents are correct. Claim him. She isn’t your problem and shouldn’t by law be claiming him
If you all haven’t gone to court to get the child support legally dropped… I would leave it alone. She could then turn around and have him pay all that back child support or have him put in jail 
bite the bullet this year, go to court and get the custody and support arrangements legally changed and claim him next year 
Yes he’s been living with you guys … it’s not your problem if she falsely got the stimulus for him that’s her fault NOT YOURS NOR YOUR HUSBANDS…
Now second thing is y’all need to go back to court and file child support against her and have the custody order changed thru the courts.
Stop letting this lady dictate your guys life. Also if she tries and say he’s coming to live with her cause of taxes or if u go to court for child support/custody then y’all best have the proof that he’s been living with u guys too.
You should claim him because you had him for more time and provided for him through the year, however, only 3 dependents count so you won’t get any extra for him anyways.
Yes dad has him and dad is paying for him without moms help, dad gets the money and if mom has to pay it back it’s her own fault. She should have put her kid first.
Do you pay for his medical then yes
Mmm… where as he been all year??? He needs to understand where the money goes?? He doesn’t pay for shit!!!
He needs to re-file custody.
I would say claim him, BUT if dad hasn’t paid child support that was court ordered or had it legally changed then it could be worse in the long run. So I’d skip this year…go back to court to fix child support and then file however the court orders.
I personally wouldn’t this year just bc if she has been getting the child credit deposits and u claim him they are basically going to say well that money was already advanced to his ssn. Sounds like him and her have at least a talking relationship and he should bring it up that if she has money for him she should send it, but the woman has a house full of roommates it doesn’t sound like she’s got extra money laying around. Sad if she did get the advances and spent it and not for him to at least visit. He should go to court and have it documented he is with u all full time now and will be claiming next year. Your parents are right that its her problem, but to me thats no way to look at her situation bc that is your stepsons mom who he loves very much, I’m sure.
Yes, claim him. She’s not your responsibility
Whoever the child lives with more than 6 months out of the year claims the child
IRS rule is if they live with you more than 6 months out of the year, you claim them unless court ordered. Follow that guide.
The law the child has to live with you 6 months out the year. So mom was right filing him
To claim a child as a depndant means they’ve been dependant on you for 50% or more of their living expenses. Since the mother hasn’t paid for 50% or more you legally should claim him
Uhm definitely claim him
He lived with you more than 6 months out of the year in 2021. He is a qualifying dependent unless there are court documents that say this is not dad year. If it specifically says which parent claims odd or even years or something like that do not file if it’s not your husbands year to do so. Essentially he’d get In trouble because the court document lays it all out. If you guys haven’t gone back to court I would definitely and get these things amended. But again, if legally according to court orders he can claim him this year I say claim him. If she claims him and he hasn’t been living there and the court order doesn’t specify it’s her year she’ll be the one to deal with the irs
Um sounds like both of em is gonna be screwed because you wanna be greedy 
You talking all this bs about her what you think CS ain’t gonna be on his ass too…
I’d personally put the truth on paper and if the truth is that you guys should be claiming then claim
I’d have him talk to a lawyer honestly. If things are court ordered and not being followed properly it could come back to bite him in the rear. In my opinion it’d be alot easier to have a consult with a lawyer who handles this kinda stuff and lay everything out on the table and see what they say before changing anything that may upset her enough to retaliate.
Yes, just inform her or go to court
Yes claim away, your husband has no obligation to his ex as their son is living with you both. So yes I would go ahead and claim for the last year as his ex was not entitled to any money if his son lived with you the whole of the last year. Good luck.
Yes claim him! I was stupid and didn’t claim my daughter this year when I should have because it’s my year.
Claim him but they may take it for child support and also take it to court and get it court order that u guys claim him now one or every other year. Let her be drama
Claim him. He has been living with yall in school in a completely different state from her. You would be committing fraud. If you allow her to continue to claim him and get stimulus checks then you are also legally culpable for the fraud. Period. She’s grown. Not your problem to take care of her.
That money is to help with costs of caring for the child. It’s not a doing nothing bonus payment for a parent barely even seeing the child. Claim a child you are caring for in every way.
Your parents are right
She would proof of his residency… Where he went to school at…
Can they each split the year and claim 6 months each?
yes youve had him not her so claim him if not your gonna get screwed he hasent been with her the last 6 months you have proof hes in school there where your at and she might have to pay a bunch of the child support back to you if he hasent been with her and your paying it to her and keep all your recepts where you have bought everything for him while hes with you
I think let her claim this year but explain to her going forward since he is full time with u. Like u said her living conditions are not great give her a pass this year. And after start to claim him but then again she claimed him on your year so just do it.
You should claim him this year. He’s living with you. You’re covering his daily expenses.
That said, it sounds like budgets are strained on both sides. The debate over claiming the one child is the symptom of this. Both families need to draw up their own budgets that allow some wiggle room, given these uncertain times. Sacrifices likely will be necessary. In the US, it costs about $275,000 to raise a child from birth to age 18 (college NOT included). I hope you’re saving for retirement. Consider working with a financial planner.
You should ask for a modification of the custody order.
First thing that comes to my mind is you have four other kids to claim why argue for more but again you have had him but she might get mad n take him back n make u pay support if I were u I’ll leave things along good luck tho
Talk with an accountant/ lawyer
Claim him n probe that hes been living with yall my parents went theoufh the same thing had to get a written statement from his school
Your husband had the right to claim him as he lived with you for more than 6 months of 2021. However, you can only get credit for the eic for 3 children. So if you are filing together claiming him really wouldn’t change much.
You should claim him and she should have to pay child support. Why did he have to but not her?
I thought you could only claim eitc on 3 kids anyway and you have 4?
Ask the IRS or your tax professional, not Facebook. I will never understand why so many people turn to fb for these types of questions…99% of the advice is usually bad, and there are so many exceptions for dependents in unique custody situations that the average person either doesn’t know about or doesn’t understand.
If he lives with you 6 months and 1 day out of the year and has over 50 percent of ur support then yall are the ones that should claim him LEGALLY!!! YALL SHOULD CLAIM HIM MORALLY AND LEGALLY!!
She would be committing fraud if she filed claiming him! A child needs to live with you for 6 months for you to claim them unless you have it other wise documents legally. He needs to tell her she can’t claim him and you guys claim him.
Claim him n get the mother to pay child support
I wouldn’t do because yes she is wrong for what’s she has done but that’s still his mother. I know you may need the money but ask your self is it worth it?
Claim him. He has been living you for 18 months. If she didn’t have him when the last stimulus and the child tax credits came out but she kept them, that’s her own fault. Let her deal with her own problems since she decided she wanted to keep those.
Whoever files first that claims his SSN will stop/trigger the other from claiming for that year. IRS doesn’t know or care who “can”. First come, first serve. Basically anyone can claim someone else if they have their SSN. Have to get attorneys to fix/change after the fact, especially in custody/family cases.
My personal opinion - claim him ASAP.
If she throws a fit,
- she’s claimed him for x amount of years in a row - is she willing to change/amend/repay dad for those years???
- does she want to pay child support for this past year and going fowrard?
As long as you have proof/documentation showing he’s been with dad all this time (and each year going forwatd), IRS rules trump court rules - learned this the hard way (no matter what is in a decree and you all agree to and the judge signs, IRS rules are the only thing that matters when it comes to taxes/filing).
You are the only ones who can legally claim him if he lived with you more than 6 months of 2021
He live with you and she doesn’t pay CS. Yes you need to claim him. If she got stimulus or early child tax credit for him without him living with her that’s illegal! Yall should have gotten all of that.
claim him… easy peasy
what you really should do is go back to court and have the divorce decree amended to where y’all have primary custody and she gets visitation as long as she pays the travel fare. And get it decreed that she pays child support. Get it done through Court and don’t argue about it.
Do what is best for the child & his enviroment between 3 parents!
Yes claim him. He has been with you guys for over half of the year. Even with the court order. The IRS don’t care about the court order. They have a higher say. As long as you can prove the child was with you more then half the year, you wont get in trouble. But you do need to go to court and get it updated. But mostly likely since he is still getting charged child support and he hasn’t paid it. They are likely to take his taxes and give them to her anyways for the back child support. But if you really wanted to. You could take her to civil court and sue her for the money back that they took and gave her for the back child support. As long as you can prove the child was in your home. It is illegal to charge a parent child support while the child is in their home. The only thing is family court wont do anything about it, besides tell you to update custody and child support. But in civil court they believe and will tell you it is both parents responsibility to update family court that the child switched homes.
I learned that the hard way. And I have actually found out that not a lot of people know that its illegal to charge a parent child support when they have the child.
But best of luck and definitely get back in court and update things.
If you guys has him 6 months then you can claim him!
Whoever the kid lives with claims. If she files behind your back you need to report her to the IRS because that is basically fraud. You should definitely claim him since she’s not the one taking care of him
You have proof you have had him that year and supported him. You claim him.
Sounds like you guys need to go to court…
Claim him BUT don’t get her into trouble. You will get HALF of the child tax credit for him. Put that as the amount 1500$. If you don’t you will have what is considered a more complicated tax situation and will wait up too a year for your return. Possibly adding him at all if she does could delay it. Simple returns will come alot quicker due to the IRS being so backed up.
You should claim him.
Definitely claim him she’s getting off way to easy
When you do taxes or if you call and talk to a preparer I would ask them the best approach for it. They can give you advice as to what will happen due to the CTC. I would claim him because yall have been the main provider for the last year and a half, so she really shouldn’t be claiming him this year and should have sent yall the CTC she received. But definitely talk with a tax preparer to see what they say and what may happen from it.
He lives with you. She cannot claim him!!!
Yes… Paper file … do you all have new custody paperwork that have you all have custody??
I would let it go this year, but take her to court and have it to where you claim him starting next tax season.
And don’t come at me. I said what I said.
If you decide to claim his this year I would use a tax consultant. If he attended school in ur area, drs appointments ect for the year you can use those documents showing proof and they can file with ur paperwork and get u out of the situation.
law says if a minor lived with you 6 months out of the year you claim them