My husband has two kids whom he sees every weekend, and I have two who live with me, with the coronavirus lockdown, we decided it was best to skip this last one. However, this is getting worse and scarier by the day, food is scarce as well, and we can barely feed ourselves and our pets with only one job, not to mention rent and bills, I would feel very guilty if we didn’t see them for a while tho. should or should we continue to get them as scheduled or is it best not to bring them out to us until its safe? Please help!
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Facetime! Only way to be safe on both ends
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I don’t not agree with children seeing their other parent being non essential. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? I think it’s absurd unless your child or someone in the immediate household are high risk and it’s a special case to keep any child from their father
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That’s messed up his kids are just as important
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Get them as scheduled since they were made with your husbands spunk.
I too wondering if I should keep my daughter home during this. She is Immune compromised but her dad wants her to go over…
If i was the husband, id leave.
If there is no risk between both households then those kids have every right to come every weekend if thats how visitations are suppose to be.
Selfishness doesnt work…
Lmao, So your kids should eat and his can starve?! If they are quarantined, I dont see why they cant come see their dad .
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Really this is probably a discussion that the childs mother( and SO if she has one) and your husband and you all need to have. I know things are tight but if she’s a single mom right now they may be extra tight for her so if you can I’d offer some extra help and y’all should figure out face time or something if the kids aren’t going to be coming over and maybe figure out some way to play a game that lasts for at least an hour to give the mom a break.
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Sorry but I really hope you’re not just trying to have an excuse to just focus on your children in this difficult time…when you made the decision to marry him knowing that he had children you should love and accept his children just the way you expect him to love and accept yours…just imagine not seeing yours! And imagine how his kids may feel during this chaotic time…right now they still need the reassurance of unconditional love !
My boyfriend’s daughter lives in Italy with her mom, obviously we can live without bringing her over this summer to make sure we dont help spread it to the rest of the kids. I would say it’s very reasonable with loosing jobs and possibly spreading the virus you shouldn’t leave the house except for food and medical
At first I was ready to harp on you. But the quarantine struggle is real. The one thing that isn’t an excuse is food. Even if you don’t have them, he should contribute extra money for ‘his kids’ to be fed when they should’ve been with him. Their mother is probably struggling to. But if she isn’t, ask her how she feels. She might actually agree as well. Have extra FaceTime visits and such and plan a fun family day for when the quarantine is lifted. It’s about their safety not abandoning them.
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My kids are self isolated with me for 12 weeks. They regularly see their dad but we have stopped this until its over. I see it as cross contamination still as you have no idea where each family has been in contact with. X
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My steps live in a different state. They decided it was best to stop visits till this slows down. It just keeps everyones mind at ease and IF some one gets sick theres no finger pointing.
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I say no. FaceTime works
My fiance’s kids are in NJ and we are waiting to bring them here since my mom is older and we live with her.
If your husband is still out in the workforce then it would be the same risk as his kids coming home to their dad. It should be a decision made as a family unit in the best interest of the kids.
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The only way were going to get this thing to stop spreading is to stop social contact. So no. But it is your husband’s job as parent to continue making be sure his kids are taken care of. I know it’s rough but it’s responsibility to find out if they need anything & supply what they don’t have.
Some states are offering unemployment for those out of work because covid19. There’s some organizations that are helping ppl in certain fields. Look into that. You can also apply online for temporary emergency SNAP.
No! They can stay home and continue visitations when this is over.
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Unfortunately, you don’t get to pick and choose when to see your children bc when you married into an instant family you get all of them! That shouldn’t even be a question to be asking.
Why the fuck do people think that marrying a man with kids makes them any less your households responsibility!?! Those kids matter just as much as your full time kids and this shouldn’t even be a damn question! You can’t “afford” them! They didn’t just show up one damn day!!
“They’re still his kids”
Yep and having them over puts ALL the kids at risk regardless. So they can stay home.
Your husband should do what’s best for the kids. Like keeping them at home. He can still FaceTime or pop over to theirs and talk to them through the window or do a honk drive-by. Keep the kids at home means that they have less chance of getting sick.
I went and tried to research… I have children that will be visiting their father. They need the stability. Unless someone in the situation is sick. Most places and things I read state that parenting time and visitation time is considered “Essential” it’s not really considered an option. It’s not going to a party or going to hang out at Grandmas house, it’s an important essential outing.
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Ask yourself it was your children coming to your home for your parenting time, would you just let them stay at their other home? Would you not let them come home and visit because you were worried about them eating your scarce amount of food or having to spend your limited amount of money on them? Especially if your husband had his children living with him full time? For me personally, those things didn’t even cross my mind. Maybe that will help with your perspective. Also remembering these are your husbands children, not just your step children. He is their father. Not trying to be ride just giving you a different outlook that’s not just about you and your children.
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My children’s father and I decided our kids won’t go with him until this virus stuff is all cleared up
I see legitimate reasoning here, it’s something the parents should discuss. I know a father who won’t take his visitation rn because he’s afraid he may catch COVID-19 from his kids.
We have the same situation going on. We have decided to put a stop to visitation physically as long as this virus is a threat. We have moved to more creative ways to keep in touch…such as phone calls and FaceTime.
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No. quarantine and social distancing. Download Skype. Soon enough police will be strolling the streets stopping people and asking why they’re out. “Visiting my dad” will get you sent home quicker than a bee heavy with pollen.
Try doing more face time. It might be your best option & they will know your still thinking of them & care about them.
I wouldn’t abandon my kids for any reason
You sound like the evil step mom
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I was in agreement with this all the up until you said the food part and only having enough for you guys and the pets. Sorry but kids needs come bf yours and definitely animals! What if the kids dood is scarse at the mothers what are you doing to help ?
I think the mother was speaking about the danger of the virus - has anyone criticizing seen the stores - some are hard to find meat let alone toilet paper - I’m sure that if times were normal this mother wouldn’t have any doubts - Do you people with your comments. Someone said - Things will get worse before it gets better - God I hope not - I wish this mother well and her decision if I were the other mother I might have my doubts also -
You have four mouths to feed. Regardless of this virus or not.
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I told my ex husband to hold on to my oldest 2. We are in an area where I believe the case numbers are jumping. I don’t want them sick. I text my kids every day. It breaks my heart but just going out and stopping for gas is exposing us to the pandemic. I told them to shelter in place.
That’s his kids, should be viewed as your kids too. Blended families are tough but this choice isn’t tough. Let them be with their dad on the days. Work with the mother. See if she can provide a dinner or two when she sends them.
Have you spoke to mom? If my sons dad messaged me they didn’t have food i would make sure to send some over and help with visits
They are still your children. What if it was reversed, would you want to have YOUR children come home? Or leave them at their dad’s?
She really said “my husbands kids” 
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these posts are worst than the coronavirus…they shd be quarantined
It must be nice to use the virus as an excuse for men not to be there. The virus doesn’t mean the kid goes away. The same way you guys are struggling, his kids can be too. The best thing to do is at the very least talk to mom and ensure the kids have everything they need.
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Uhm that’s a big NO, their his kids and if you married him their yours as well! Their mom isnt picking and choosing not to have them, you don’t get that ability either
To everyone bashing her, in the state of Wisconsin we are under “stay at home” quarantine for a month. Meaning NO ONE around each other unless they live in the same household. For her safety AND the safety of the kids that don’t live there full time, all visits should be suspended. Use facetime, Skype etc. In our state, courts have approved suspended visitation for a month. Meaning you can’t get in trouble nor can you be forced to allow your children or other children to come and go for visits.
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It’s about what’s best for all the kids involved . Period I wld want my kids to stay in their home to stay safe it’s about safety no one right now is living their normal lives . Which is for a reason . I am sure your gna hear everyone’s opinions and in this day in age people’s opinions can make others feel wrong for their own feelings but I think your trying to be safe instead of sorry
Thats ridiculous of course u should !
I think it depends
Financially you just find a way, they are your kids.
Where your husband works (he could bring home the virus).
Is there home locked down or is someone still working there as well.
Are the kids still attending daycare/school.
Is there anyone in a vulnerable category in the family.
Are both houses taking it seriously.
This is a conversation to be had between the parents and what will work best for them.
let them stay home… health and safety first theres ways of communicating like video chat etc…
Pretty sure a lock down means they are supposed to stay with their primary carer anyway. I’m not allowed to take my daughter to see people for her birthday tomorrow, and aus isn’t even properly in lockdown yet.
Speak to the mother and see where she stands. Also what does your husband want?Personally if it was my own children I would not want them leaving the house at all and not allowing anyone into my house either as this is a serious risk at present. If either you or your husband are still working then you are a risk to those children but on the other hand if the children are still going out then they are a risk to you. It’s only a short time in the grand scheme of things but it’s between your husband and his ex to decide and hopefully agree. If my ex was desperate to see the kids I wouldn’t stop him but I would hope he would put their health first.
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Stay at home explain to them that this virus is deadly and when everything settles down you want them to come. They are safer in their home. Send messages to them or FB them to keep in touch. This not your doing it is what it is and we need to follow the rules as much as possible.
if they cant visit (which face time or similar read them stories while face-timing let them show you there school work or things they have done or made phone calls random text messages etc 
crazy time we are all experiencing so I guess a lot of compromise and plan b’s
Wait until all of this is over. Facetime and Video chat. This is a real pandemic and people are spreading the virus because they don’t follow the social distancing. You’re not mean for wanting to do what’s right
We still have all the kids here even the ones in college. Bonus children parent does healthcare as I do and we try to keep them mostly quarantined in both houses.
You and your husband talk this over and make the best decision as parents for everyone involved. It’s your home & it sounds like you both have a good enough communication system between each other that you can come to a solution together. Lots of these mamas are not being rational.
My little one has been staying with his dad for two weeks when we share custody because he is out of work and I still have to go to work( gotta love being essential personnel 
). He lives in a totally different state than me so I haven’t been able to see my son except over video chat for almost two weeks now
Stay home Skype them.
I understand your plight, I dont have an answer. 