My husband and I have been married for 3 years. And we have a son together whose about to be one. When we are good, we are the best. Like it’s amazing. Couldn’t be more happy. When we are at our worse, I feel like it’s just who can cut each other down the quickest. I am a stay at home mom so I had lately been looking forward to him being gone bc it’s 10 hours I don’t have to worry or walk on egg shells. I don’t won’t to have sex with him bc I just feel done. I don’t go to bed happy. But then I think about our good days and it just makes me so upset. We got into a huge fight and I left and asked for a separation. After A couple days I requested we date each other to try to get that spark back and it worked for a bit but then the fights started back. He wanted me back home but I didn’t feel like it was okay yet to go back considering I knew what it would go back to even though he promised to fix it. I’ve heard that so many times. It’s been 2 months since I left. We don’t really talk much. So am I right to leave and request the separation? Would it be wrong to just divorce and move on?
Honestly, it sounds like you’ve both already decided to be done. Now you just need to make it official.
Ask yourself if these are feelings you had before you had your son?
You’re still relatively a “new” relationship. Add in a child and all the stressors of the last few years and this could be something more.
If you know that you’re 100% done, then tell him such and start creating your future. Sending hugs💜
You both need therapy to figure out what the issues are.
It could be as simple as you both don’t communicate well. Don’t throw in the towel until you untilize all resources.
You both have to want it. If it’s only one person putting in the effort it won’t work. I did this for 10 years… finally worked up the courage and divorced. I am free, I am happy. We have a relatively good co parenting. The kids seem happier than ever. We separated 2 years ago, divorced officially 1 year ago. If you don’t see it going anywhere don’t hold onto hope of who the person used to be. My biggest piece of advice is do and be everything you can. So when you do walk away you can confidently say I tried my best and did what I personally could do, and know you have a clean slate and peace in your heart. 
It sounds like you two know the answer - why linger?
No not wrong all get a Divorce leave his sorry ass ,you already no the answer to that . I did it for 32 yrs pls don’t wait just do it .
Sounds like you’ve already left…Now to just be official and stay gone.
Could you have Postpartum depression? and looking too much into things?
Sounds like you already tried your hardest and the thing is you’re asking this question and you have your answer already Hunny. I know change especially when a child involved is hard. And that’s ok. Its ok to leave him and you didn’t give up even with what it sounds like your heart is not in it anymore. You will always have your good memories and those are for you to cherish, but you can’t sacrifice yourself while holding onto what’s not getting any better. You seem content as well with living in your own space and that says a lot in itself as well. Whatever you do choose to do i hope you are doing it for yourself and not just holding on because if you do then it will be an endless roller coaster that gets worn down overtime because its not being taken care of properly.
Yes definitely and no your not wrong
Marriage takes time to get right to suit you both…it would be interesting to know what you fight about? where are the key issues?..dont be a quitter you have a one yr old. lts not fair.You really haven’t tried. Youve just built walls…lm sorry but being an older 64 yr old of a 17 yr previous marriage…l left with a 3 month old & 7yr old. He had full access to take the kids when baby was at least 9 months old.He was a sour nasty man really. l dont regret leaving as 17 yrs was a long time to give it a good try…but let me say at your stage you both havent been to a marriage counselor yet?? …you cant get past a stale mate until you are both freely able to air out the crap without holding back…pour it out! ALL of it… You really cant let it go yet…you can distance yes…but in efforts to try properly.You BOTH need a safe place to do it.Youve heard the saying “it has to get worse before it gets better”
Depends if either of you wants to fight for it, I think. If you both do I’d suggest counselling, either separately or as a couple 
Marriage isn’t easy and needs to be taken care of as if it were a living creature. Hubby and I are nearing 16 years of marriage and have had those same fights. But we make it a point to be together alone more often even if it’s just Netflix. Being married does not automatically make your relationship perfect. It still takes work. I still get mad enough sometimes that I don’t want to be in the same bed but we always talk the next morning and make amends. If you can’t have that post argument conversation to understand each other then maybe it is time to call it quits. Communication is key even if it happens after the argument.
No partner in a marriage should have to walk on Eggshells to keep from upsetting your partner.sounds like you know what you want to do and waiting for someone to tell you to move on.
Maybe some therapy might help you both
It sounds like you hold onto things and expect something to happen and surprise it does… People end marriages too easily these days it’s crazy!! See a marriage councillor, no marriage is perfect… You’ll never be happy if you keep repeating this pattern in future relationships, so why not fix the one you have!
Hey sis…it sounds like you are just as toxic as he is…figure it out and fix it. Some fighting is normal…and nothing is perfect. If he is good to you, stop being such a quitter and fight for your marriage.
You are absolutely right, start packing HIS suitcase, and show him the door!!
Do you still love him ,do you still get excited inside when you hear his car pull up when he gets home from work .when he says your name dose your heart still go pitter patter .if so there’s still a chance and do give up .if not then maby a break is best
What happened to sticking to ur vows better or WORSE
It’s all comes down to effort. Why is marriage taken so lightly these days, did your vows mean nothing then? You married for a reason I assume, apart from just having a kid together because if that’s why you stay then you’re being selfish to your child, both of you need to get back to why you married in the first place, marriage is hard, add kids and it’s even harder, but you both made a commitment the very least you can both do, is put in the time and EFFORT…IF you truly love each other it won’t and shouldn’t even feel like effort if You’re both fighting for each other…
Just opinion since I’m single parent work on marriage get a job and y’all both take 100% in the marriage but if ur not happy then there is a reason and gotta make sure there is trust, communication, and honesty if any of those are broken then that could be a reason ur not happy he isn’t happy. Marriage counseling only works if u both want this but it’s a waste of money to do it just to divorce. If u have been separated for two months and y’all talk less and less well might as well keep it the way u both are. Gotta really change things for it to work if it’s not then why try to keep a marriage that doesn’t work and to allow ur child(s) to see the u happiness on either end
One person can’t fix a relationship/marriage made of two people. You see all the flaws in him but none in yourself and that is a huge part of the problems… Also, imagine that… Your husband wants you both in the same house. Which is why he married you in the first place. But you wanna live separately, and him to be okay with it. We get your intentions, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Are you married or just dating. Because he can date anyone as can you… But if you married then try to make it work or don’t. But all this in between stuff begets everyone nothing…
It really depends on the fights. Are they normal about fights about finances, sharing the load, parenting styles? You should probably seek out councelling.
You said you were walking on eggshells? Is he pressuring you to have sex when he isn’t doing anything to help your libido? Is he stressed about taking on all the finances while you stay at home? Was that something you BOTH agreed too? Or are one of you controlling the others movements, like going to a friend’s or something?
You need to figure out if the fights your having are normal ones, or fights that take your power and control of yourself. Gaslighting, name calling, sexual pressure/assault, isolation, withholding finances and basic needs are forms of abuse along with many others. If its abuse, then stay away and move on, if not then make a list, ask him to do the same and seek counseling. Good luck.
I suspect you’re not revealing the abuse that’s happening. Even if it’s verbal. From the sounds of it you don’t want to go back to the emotional abuse, and you shouldn’t.
Watch the movie Fireproof, and try The Love Dare, if you want to save you’re marriage. Try counceling.
You have answered your own question in your explanation…if I was you I would cut it right now
Is he willing to work on it? Is there abuse? Whats your part in it? Have you gone to counseling together or separate?
First of all, how long did you know each other before marriage? How long was the dating phase and it seems you two are young, only been married three years abs have a kid…. That’s a LOT to put on one person financially. It seems you two do NOT know how to fight and argue properly and instead of getting to the root of the issue you insult each other that leaves feelings hurt. Seems you stated HE said he would fix it. Where is YOUR effort? You going to counseling to find out why you hurl insults? Where are you learning to communicate effectively in a manner that a man can and will take in? You are putting a LOT of the effort and responsibility on him. You can’t argue and put the blame on him when it takes two to argue.
Y’all need a counselor. You need a mediator to listen and make suggestions.
I wouldn’t just throw my hands up on something so soon.
And y’all please don’t be ready to call a situation abusive when we don’t see both sides. The wife could be just as insulting and condescending… let’s not always assume the man is being “abusive” when the wife hasn’t stated so. That puts a seed in someone’s mind.
It needs to be both of you fixing it. Learn I statements and take accountability for what you’ve done.
You had a huge fight. You want to call it quits; he probably can’t understand why you want to quit and just wants you home. What is causing the fights? Is it something you can work on together? You don’t sound like you want to. What has he promised to fix? Why aren’t you making promises too? The whole going on a date thing isn’t going to help long term. You’re adults with a kid and you need to sit down or go for a long walk and really talk about things, not set up dates loaded with huge expectations.
Maybe he is a narcissist look it up because then don’t waste your time
Imagine being a kid raised in this
You both have to fix it and you both have to work hard to do it. Therapy. Constantly communicating. It is a lot of work but you’re the only one who can decide if you want to put the effort into your marriage. No person is going to magically give you a happy life. It’s both of you constantly working to make the other one happy
Every marriage has up and downs. I found I was at my lowest point when I was staying at home with the kids. I needed to get out work and socialize with other people! Maybe being a SAHM is one of the roots of your issues and why you’re not happy causing a problem in your marriage? Staying at home isn’t for everyone.
Counselling could be the answer. If I threw away my marriage every time we fought I’d be alone forever. Expect arguments. If you want it, Work for it.
You say he’s gone to work for 10 hours each day. His job might have something to do with him being stressed out or burned out all the time. See if he has an opportunity to take a few days off and just see if he’s a different person those days
Leave. Your son deserves better than a toxic home
You’ll just end up doing it again you flighty twunt.
If your not happy, why stay? Abuse or not. If your not happy you won’t make him happy.
Counseling. Marriage has ups and downs. There will be fights and not speaking. But you both put the work in and repair it. This is why the divorce rate is so high. No one wants to put in the hard work.
Every relationship is going to have it’s ups and downs. It’s a matter of deciding if you are willing to fight until the end to see if you two can make things work. Go to marriage counseling or just go for yourself or even both! So many people give up too easily now a days it’s sad. You married him for a reason. Find something that you love to do. Being a stay at home mom isn’t easy and sometimes us parents tend to lose ourselves with being a parent and spouse. Find hobbies, take some time for yourself and get some self care. But only you can decide what you want to do. we can give you advice all day long. ALSO, We don’t know the fully story of your life and your relationship we are only going off of what is said on this post. If he is willing to fix it, and you are too then you need to work hard to make it work. Marriage isn’t easy and there will be rough patches. Just depends on if you are willing to fight for it in the end.
Marriage counseling as a last resort. If that doesn’t work then you’ll know what to do.
I felt similar in my marriage. The good days were great, bad days were the worst and really messed with my head. I would advise a divorce. You may get along better with him if you live separate lives. 
You played yourself.
Making decisions like this in such haste after you had a baby.
Hormones after birth can take 18months or longer to stabilize.
In 3 years time; 9 months you were pregnant then 1 year you said the baby is old. The only time you were even remotely hormonally stabile was in the beginning.
Women really are their own worst enemies.
If you have to ask for advice, it’s over.
Some ppl are just toxic together 
Have you tried marriage counseling? If there is also good maybe just maybe you can get back there! I wouldn’t feel good leaving a relationship knowing I only half asses tried to fix it! Shits hard, but it’s often times worth fighting for!!
I think as a parent your priority should be what is best for your son. Too much chaos will start to negativity affect him. Focus on your child and the rest can wait. If you’re already separated stay that way…it sounds toxic…and no matter what…a warm bed isn’t worth it if your not happy together. Having chemistry is one thing, but having a true partnership is a whole other ball game. That’s what your son needs to see…true partnership. If you know you won’t find that with his dad…move tf on
Only you can make that decision Faith Hope and Charity will help Ask GOD to guide you to make the way clear that He has for your life.
Every relationship will have its waves of ups and downs, but it’s up to you if your willing to ride them or let them go. But it will take both to make it work, it’s impossible with only one working for the positive outcome.
Leave. He sounds controlling and narcistic
hiw much do you wanna fight for your marriage…I you have no want to fight for it better off to he alone.
Have you tried marriage counseling
Counseling. Why does everyone always jump to divorce? learn how to fight fair instead if tearing each other down.
I’d try marriage counseling first. Atleast if you do that and it still doesn’t work, it could help give you common understanding to co parent.
If you have been separated for 2 months and yall rarely talk and no one is trying to actively fix the marriage then you are done. Move on find someone who will make you happy. If you love your husband and want it to work reach out to him and find counseling. If counseling doesn’t work nothing will at this point.
It so easy now a days
To walk out .
Every couple has ups and down
It depends on you two if you are going to fight for each.
So easy to leave
Counseling if you both agree to go but if that doesn’t work do what you have to for your health and happiness.
I think a big thing is what are you fighting about?
If you don’t feel anything good about being with him and yall can’t get along with out having to one up each other in arguments then you should just divorce. Staying together because of a kid or good memories won’t do any good
If you don’t have a feeling of wanting to go back…divorce!
Sounds like you already know the answer just keep doing what is best for you and obviously he is not.
You now have a son to consider and if your husband is willing to go to counseling with you give your marriage a chance. Marriage is a learning experience and if you give up without trying to resolve your problems it may become a pattern for the rest of your life.
In marriage there aren’t always going to be good days. Why get married if you guys are just gonna quit on the hard days? You 2 should sit down and talk
If you have to ask that it as past time to leave
If you are wanting things to work and get better I’d suggest couples counseling and even separate counseling as well. If you’re just done and don’t want to work it out then I’d say to stay gone if it’s already been that long
You both need to grow up and learn how to deal with disagreements in a mature way instead of fighting. Couples counseling, books, podcasts, videos can help you learn about dealing with conflict, love languages, parenting and learning how to control your anger and emotions. Family meetings to discuss how to handle situations before they arise—and come with ideas and solutions vs. complaints.
Learn to find positivity and gratitude. Write down pros and cons. Learn to LISTEN to each other and compromise; don’t just go in with preconceived ideas and fight for them. Sounds like you both are creating a toxic environment for your child.
Aside from that, always have sufficient job skills to find employment that can support you and your baby and keep a bank account in your name only with enough money saved to pay rent for three months plus security deposit at current rates so you can get out if you need.
Bonus is that learning to manage your emotions, deal with conflict constructively anticipate and pre-solve problems and learn how to work with different personalities and styles will help in EVERY aspect of your life. It will help you weather the “terrible twos,” “threenager” and teen years with your son.
Regardless of whether you stay or go, I hope you learn and grow and become better versions of yourselves. Time spent on self improvement is never wasted. Good luck!
Divorce and move on!!
“Walking on eggshells” and “who can cut each other down the quickest” are the 2 highlights of your post that make one feel sorry for your child and fear for his upbringing
Do whatever is going to make you happy and if it is a divorce, go for it! You’re too young to be putting up with this and chances are, he’ll never change! Move on and be happy!
You are 3 yrs in… marriage is hard… you fall in love and out of love with the same person for the rest of your life… it’s not always going to be rainbows and puppy dogs… get counciling before you call it quits.
“Move on and be happy.” I literally hate that phrase. Happiness is fleeting. You can have your dream person, and happiness is still not guaranteed. Stop basing marriage on fleeting emotions. Marriage is work. It’s hard, and sometimes it’s messy. There will be “unhappy” times with everyone. I love my husband more than anything in this world, and he truly is the only person for me, but we have still had rough patches. I’ve been beyond unhappy at times, like walk out and never look back unhappy. I also knew happiness was not going to come just because I walked away. You have to fix the problem first. I have also been happier than I could ever be. We are normally in the middle. Happy, but living life and everything that comes with that. Someone once told me you don’t say I do to one person; you say it to multiple people. I believe that. I married my husband at 17; he and I were completely different people back then. Each year, we are different people. I said I do to every single one of his new people. If you want to walk away, do that, but don’t base it on happiness or because you’re unhappy right now. Only do it if you don’t want to try and build from where you are right now. Thinking “someone else will make you happier” is setting yourself up for failure. While yes, there may be a better relationship out there for you, don’t base it on emotions; they change rapidly.
With that said, if you are “walking on eggshells” that is unhealthy, and unless he’s willing to go to counseling or get help, I would walk away. That’s not emotion; it’s safety.
“Walking on eggshells” and “who can cut each other down the quickest” are the 2 red flags that I have experienced and I suggest you leave before you have anymore children with this man…also “He wanted me back home but I didn’t feel like it was okay yet to go back considering I knew what it would go back to even though he promised to fix it. I’ve heard that so many times.”…it will keep happening and if you continue to allow it you’ll keep hearing it so many times…best of luck in your situation
If you been gone 2 month and don’t miss being with him your done. Walking on eggshells is miserable in a marriage. Look for someone that makes you happy and you will look forward for him to come home.
l get paid over $135 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $16347 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
Details HERE… https://homej0bonlinework20.neocities.org/
Sounds like the best plan!
Counseling. The answer is marriage counseling. You both NEED therapy. It could only help.
Counseling will help
Try couples therapy.