Should we start fresh or stay?

Need opinions/advice: at what point do you decide it’s time to start over and fresh? The last 2.5 years have been the hardest in our families’ life. We moved five times before my child turned one year old and then finally got into our new home just to be told a few months later that our son has been diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease that has altered life as we know it. He needs constant care around the clock, and the house we currently live in now was supposed to serve as our “forever home,” but now it has been filled with the biggest heartache my heart has known, and now I’m considering selling and starting brand new. The problem is that if we sell and start over new, it would also have its own set of challenges; moving is not easy, especially with kids as you guys all probably know. Has anyone here got fed up with their unfortunate and decided that they needed to start all over to build new memories?

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Have your house blessed or saged. :heart:

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Yes, you have had negative things happen there, but what positives have you found there that you won’t find anywhere else? Your son was diagnosed, and I am hoping you became closer as a family. Try and find the good in it.

I’m sorry you’re going thru some tough stuff but you can’t just move any time something upsets you. Your children need stability. And they rely on you to provide that.

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How old is your child. They need stability and routine. If he has health problems you can’t keep up rooting them

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If runni g from problems and difficulties is easier than yes. Or embrace that you found out the news, and its sooner than later and do everything yo make the best of it. Running never solves anything. Focus on making new better memories and be an adult and parent. Dont teach kids run from problems.

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Yep I just found out my babies heart stopped beating yesterday I’m done with where we are and feel the need to pack up and move

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Does the new house affect his disease? Like is it not safe? If not, no reason to move again.

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Do NOT make a big decision while experiencing such grief! I speak from experience. If your son is not already at John Hopkins get him there, also speaking from experience (I was unable to walk on my own and in so much pain I wanted to die from a rare autoimmune disease John Hopkins drs put me on new medications and I am me again).
No big changes while grieving/depressed! Best Docs in the country!

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Maybe search around and see what you can find, for a while. If its meant to be, you will find the perfect place and moving will fall into place.

I packed everything and moved my kids to a small town from a huge city. Best decision of my life. Do what your heart tells you to.

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“Running away from your problems is a race you’ll never win, so just face them head on, and overcome them.”

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You could move, but you would just be taking your problems with you. The house has nothing to do with it and moving could cause some financial burdens and kids dont always like changing their schools and friends.

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We bought a home & our daughter was diagnosed with autism. I felt this way because I will be driving a hour and a half away a couple times a week for therapy she needs, but honestly my daughter loves our home and I would rather live in our home and drive constantly than to move her all around. Give it time dont rush to moving right away give it time I did and I’m glad we havnt sold our home. Goodluck❤

“Insanity: doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” Save the money to move and change the house. You have to face the issue. My mom was like this for so long and nothing changed. I’ve been to NINE high schools and some of them twice. Nothing changed my mom’s situation just because of a new scenery.

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“Wherever you go, there you are.” Moving won’t solve your problems. Seek therapy for yourself to figure out why you think moving will change anything & join a support group for parents of children with similar challenges.

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You can’t run from your problems it’s not the houses falt get counseling

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When you move you take your problems with you. Stay where you are and stay grounded, find some stability.

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Wherever you go you take yourself with you. Maybe accept that this is what you’ve got and make where you are as happy and beautiful as you can. Maybe this house is where you learned how to be strong and resourceful and how to survive.

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What’s moving going to do??? No offense but unless he’s gotten better or passes away there’s no reason to move because of “bad memories” because if he’s still sick, they will just follow you to the new place you go to.

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I think you need to stay where you are. They don’t need to be moved anymore. Just deal with whatever comes your way. You can always run when you don’t like something

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One problem with moving, unless you need to financially, things stay hard. Why? You take yourselves, feelings
, Problems, etc. With you.

Start over fresh in current home… new paint, new stuff 1 by 1…

Troubles follow… trust me, I know…

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Stay in your home, “starting over” is really running away, stay put and face all the challenges life throws at you, call on your FAITH and overcome, you are stronger than you think

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I went through a big trauma with my kids 2 years ago and for months I felt we needed to move to a house with no bad memories. I haven’t moved though and we’ve since made a million happy memories to make up for the bad ones. My advice is to just give it time. Make a conscious effort to make nothing but happy memories in your home. Fill your home with love and laughter and you will start to feel so much better

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It sounds like you’re trying to evade your problems rather than face them. While i understand wanting to “escape” memories…
Moving your kids to do so may not be the best idea.
My advice is to redecorate. Remodel. Redo.

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Your problems are still going to be there. They just don’t go away when you move. You will just be adding more problems when you move. Where do you get where you move there just going to go away. They don’t. It’s something you have to work on every day

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You need to just face the challenges you have an form a group in your present area to help support yours and others needs. Research your child’s illness see and try everything possible

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Got pregnant. BD walked out. Found a man, fell in love, he did not. Had my kid. He stole all my tax return. I had to leave my appt and move in with family. Got kicked out of house, moved in with sitter. Got kicked out of sitter’s house with a new bf i met while living there. Move in with my mom. Bf leaves and goes back to stay with sitter (her bf and my ex are best friends). Mom kicks me out. Currently staying in motel with daughter who will be 1 in 2 days. No money for her first birthday, can’t even have a party.
Shit is tough. Shit is hard. You wanna start over, go for it. But starting over isn’t always gonna fix it.

Just redecorate
Pain the walls
Dont move

Focus on what really matter…making this house a home u have enough on it plate u dont need another task…u need to focus on ur child

Stability and acceptance. Deal with your stuff or you’ll carry it with you.

Um, what? :no_mouth: that makes absolutely no sense at all, why uproot and cause trouble for yourselves if the issues are just going with you to the next house?? :roll_eyes:

Learning that your child has a incurable autoimmune disease is devastating and stressful to say the least. You may want to slow your mindset a little bit but I understand that it has been kicked into overdrive by such life changing news. Your child can feel your distress I am sure and the last thing you want is for that to effect him. I suggest you take some time to absorb your new reality before jumping to such a big change. Things will be ok and this is your new normal. I’m not aware of what disease you are dealing with specially but there is always advancements in research when it comes to autoimmune diseases. Hold on to that idea and make your new house a safe and forever home for your family. Believe in your strength as a parent. You will get through this by facing it. Good luck

Stay! Rearrange the house, buy some new decor, but don’t up and move again! I’ve lived that life and it’s hard on kids!

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I just wish I had a home to call our own. Be grateful for all you have, make some changes and pray over your home. :heart:

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You cannot run from your problems…stand up and do what you have to do…material things are not the key to happiness and stress free living…you are…a house is what YOU make it…so make it home…and choose happiness in all you do

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A new house will not change your reality. The focus should be on your son and his health. Not the memories of the house. It’s gonna get worse before it gets better. You can’t pack up and leave when things are hard. Find yourself a support system because you will need it. Your house is just a building. Home is wherever your heart is!!!

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Leaving will make your kids think that’s what they’re supposed to do when they have a bad experience. Build good memories where you are.

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You can build new memories right where your at. Bad things happen all the time unfortunately but I don’t believe the house made it happen. Rearrange the furniture, paint a room or something, don’t create more hardship by trying to sell & buy another home.

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Id stay and make it forever

Unfortunately, your lives will be difficult wherever you are. To keep from the added aggravation of moving again, try to make the best of your current situation.

Unfortunate circumstance happen all the time, are you gonna move ever time? This is pretty odd!

wait a year…you,re too emotional at this sad time:{

Your home is what you make it. Stay and plant your roots. The stronger the root the sweeter the fruit… Moving again will just exhaust you and your family more. I pray comfort and peace find you in your new home❤

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Stop running and face it. A sick child doesn’t need to be bounced around because you “can’t deal”. It sounds like you get bored easily and need something different. Try redecorating, not relocating.

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Unless it’s due to financial/medical reasons, I don’t understand why you would move?

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Moving won’t change anything but where you get your mail. Find a church and let them help you catch your breath. Prayer warriors give you strength and help with your perspective. Trying to carry a heavy load alone will break you.

I moved a town over a year ago because of a trauma that happened girl i say go for it

As many times as you’ve moved, ask yourself this, has it yet to fix any of your “life problems”? If not, then there’s your answer :woman_shrugging: when kids are involved, moving constantly is never a good thing. They need stability. Even more so when health issues are involved.

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A new house isn’t going to change your circumstances, it just changes your address. You’re going to have the same problems except now you’re going to put your sick child through the trauma of yet another move. You can’t run from your problems by moving to another house.

No matter where you go your heartaches will be with you. Stand your ground and face them head on. Take breath and make a plan. Turn your home back into a blessing. Love your family and love the life you have.

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First question you should ask yourself is, am I still able to afford my house? If the answer is no try looking for a cheaper little house, also you can talk about refinance your home. It’s really hard to pack and move, if you are just moving for new start i guess this thought is not even necessary because it won’t change anything unfortunately. Stay and keep on moving forward, for your kiddos. Good luck.

Why would you want to start over for? That is a pain on it’s own along with everything else you stated no I would not sell my home and start over if I were you I would stay unless the home you are in you can afford anymore but other than that nope I would be keeping my home and making as many memories as possible.

Your house didnt cause ur sons problem,life did! Dont up n move for the 6th time because your children will think its ok to up and run wenevr times get tough!

Memories are what you make. Stay and create new happy ones. Who’s to say what will happen at the new house.

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Could you rent it out instead? I totally understand wanting to start over. But what if getting through this hardship makes the house even more sentimental. I support you either way.

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If you think moving is what you need, then by all means go for it! I spent most of my adult life moving at least once every year, sometimes 2 or 3 times yearly, with 3 kids. Where I’m at now I’ve been for about four and a half years, and we are moving come spring becaise we’re all stir crazy among other things. Follow your gut. If deep down says start over, then start over. If deep down says stay and deal with the current situation, then stay and enjoy not having to pack and unpack again :grin: you WILL make the right decision for your family!!!

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