Should we tell our son the truth about Santa?

My son is turning 11 in October. He still believes in Santa, the Easter bunny, tooth fairy all of the above. My Fiance (his father) and I have been talking about telling him or not telling him the truth. I’m on the fence about it because I want him to enjoy these moments as long as possible that make the holidays magical. My Fiance says he understands but he’s at the age where we should tell him that he doesn’t want him finding out at school (5th grade AND new school) and getting made fun of or embarrassed OR finding out the truth form another child. What are y’all’s opinions? Should we tell him or let him find out. He also has a 3 year old little sister (4 in December) and I’m due with a baby in November. He is the best big brother and would never tell them either so that is not a concern.


You could definitely tell him and let him become Santa!! I believe their is Santa in us all! Isn’t that the true spirit anyways!!

There is a lovely article (can’t currently find it) where the parents tell their child the truth because they are old enough to understand, and that he is old enough to become a Santa - whose role it is to give presents to children and the poor. This is where you can have a “grown up” discusion with him to find a charity or similar that he, with your help, can support. A version of “pass it on”, he can feel important, not disappointed.


My friend just did this with her daughter, and explained to her “Santa isn’t an actual person, it’s the magic in the holiday that makes every moment so special. So even though all the physical gifts come from mom and dad, the magic is still there to celebrate with us”. She said her daughter had a few questions but understood it best!


Let him be young! He’ll find put soon enough

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We told our son when he moved to secondary school in case he got bullied. Turns out he knew all along and had been playing us for years! Lol


Let him find out on his own. He may already think there isn’t but maybe he still wants to believe it.

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Has he asked you if Santa/the others are real? I certainly wouldn’t lie to him if he asks no matter the age.


I wouldn’t tell him. When he comes to you about it tell him we all help make the holidays magical and once we no longer believe we pass that responsibility on to ourselves and our families to make the Christmas magical.


I always told my kids, if you believe in Santa he will always exist if you don’t believe he will no longer come. The presents under my tree were all from Santa except one. As my kids got older they would say they believe even though I know they didn’t but the magic of seeing Santa on their presents kept the spirit alive,


My oldest is 13 &I’m pretty sure he doesn’t believe in Santa anymore… I’ve thought fo awhile now, I just think he doesn’t wanna lose that extra gift :rofl: which is completely oky with me

Let him enjoy until he asks. And continue the traditions even after he “knows”… as your family celebrates these traditions

He might already know as there are so many different Santa’s about. Don’t spoil the magic of Christmas for him.

My daughter is about to be 11 and strongly believes as well


My kid already knew. She just played along for her little sister. But Santa fills their stockings. And brings crayons and color books. Art supplies and crafts. I make sure my kids know it’s Mom and Dad who do the most.

Wondering what the “truth” is to you.

It depends on your situation. My son has known since he was 8. Only told him cus he asked and wanted to know the truth

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I found this weird thing happens with kids. I’ve worked with classes of 10/11 year olds and some years most believe in Santa and other years none. However, I’ve also worked with 11/12 year olds and none believe in Santa. Something seems to happen in the summer. I would give him one more Christmas of believing. 5th Grade is always the last year. He may not believe any more but it’s unlikely he’ll be the only kid who does.


We are leaving it as long as possible, our daughter is 13, ( think she may have suspicions) but keeps quiet for her younger brothers sake, personally I’d wait until he comes to you so joy of Christmas is there that’s mho!

Keep the magic. Sheesh. Santa wrote our 18 year old a letter thanking him for keeping the magic alive for his younger siblings. He obviously knew Santa wasn’t real, but we never told him so. :woman_shrugging:t3:


Why is it your decision to ruin those things for your son? That’s not fair. If he still believes let him believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with that at all. Let kids be kids for as long as they can.


My daughter is 10 and still believes even Tho everyone around her doesn’t, and she mentions it ever so often. I told her to believe what ever SHE wants. She will find out on her own time.

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Im surprised he has not asked you if he is real. My son is 10 and asked me two years ago. I told him the truth. We laughed about it.

He might already know. My daughter was 8 when she asked us and we didn’t lie we said it’s the spirit of Christmas. But she has younger brothers and still gets a stocking even though she’s 16, she now says hello mum when I deliver the stocking. I would personally tell him just so if he doesn’t know already he’s not going to find out from other kids and be bullied because of it. Or maybe this year leave clues so he figures it out himself.

My daughter is 10 and still believes even Tho everyone around her doesn’t, and she mentions it ever so often. I told her to believe what ever SHE wants. She will find out on her own time.

I would just wait until he comes to you. Believe me he’ll find out soon enough in school. My son is 11, he was 10 last Xmas and he asked me and I panicked and said of course he’s real. When he brings it up again this year, I’ll tell him the truth. His brother is almost 10 and I’m sure he’ll also find out. But that doesn’t mean I won’t stop writing Santa, or leaving out stuff for Santa. Or food foe the reindeer. My parents still write from Santa and my sisters and I are all in our 30s😅

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My 9 year old came up to me and asked if Santa and all the other holiday beings were real because someone told him they weren’t, and i told him the truth. It depends on the child, really. I found out at school when i was around 10, and it was very embarrassing for me. The other children made fun of me for still believing. My mother had to choose between letting me be bullied or ruining the magic.

You mean none of them are rea!!! I’m crushed :sob::sob::sob:. How do l go on?

My son found out from his friends. Not a big deal. He got over it.

IF you choose to tell him, you can let him take a roll in helping spread (keep) the magic of Santa for his siblings.
(By middle school it would probably be a good idea, because of the things you mentioned you fear for him above. Kids can be brutal towards their peers. If he hasn’t already he’ll probably be asking if Santa is real, from stuff he hears from other kids.)

Honey trust me, he knows the truth lol he’s pretending for you and his little sister.

I’m not sure. I never taught my children Santa I hope it works out for the best

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My kid just found out after last Christmas (12yrs) We told him as he’d been asking for some time. Tried to keep it alive for as long as possible but there comes a time u have to expose the truth to the magic

Everyone who doesnt believe in santa at my house gets underwear i dont care how old they are !!!

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Don’t ruin the magic, once its gone u can never get it back.


I would tell him that’s exactly the grade I was in when I still believed and one day around Christmas the teacher asked who still believes in Santa and myself and one other kid raised our hands and got made so much fun of by our classmates. Kids are mean and it seems more so these days then ever.

I told my daughter when she was the same age going to a new school . She started to cry I ruined it for her . But now 13 she loves wrapping the gifts

I have told my 4 year old that Santa is busy and mummy and daddy help him

I feel this can go until mid teens. Also consider that once he knows he may tell the younger child in the house and school friends so it will be alot of impact for all ages.

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ok so I say this as a proud Jewish mom. I believe “Santa” is a spirit of the holiday. Its not a person perse. It’s that feeling of giving and being generous to those who have less than you. Its that joyful feeling we, as parents, get when we watch our children and loved ones open presents. Santa is not a person. We are all Santa in our own way.

I think they secretly all know at that age but they play the innocent game pretending they don’t know so that they will still get presents and have Santa coming, at school they are probably having a laugh about fooling the parents, so in my opinion say nothing just go with the flow, Mother of six grown up kids.


Keep the magic going! I’d like to think since he’s 11 and no one said anything I’m hoping no one does!! Kids were already ruining the magic for my son at 7!! Let him believe for now! Or maybe kids have already said something & he just doesn’t care!

I told all my children that the holiday magic stops when you hit 10 because their growing up🩷


He might already know, but doesn’t want to ruin the fun you still have playing all tje Santa, Easter bunny and tooth fairy games each year. I knew when I was 9 that Santa doesn’t exist.

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Im sure he knows the truth…I doubt anything you tell him will be a surprise…kids at school would have talked about ages ago…

Wait until he brings it up if him believing in these rhings brings him happiness and joy then let him. Who are we to ruin that for our kids. With everything wrong and messed up going on in the world today let the kids keep thinking that there is still magic in world

No. He is only real to the people who truly believe


DO NOT tell him! Kids are only kids for so long! Let him be a kid a little longer. There will come a time when you can’t escape it, but for now let the magic stay alive for your child!

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Tell him. Too old to believe.


What? No Santa? Are you sure? I never believed in Santa for a moment as a child. Then I became an adult and presents kept showing up on my porch. Things that absolutely could not happen, DID. It happened too many times each year and had to have been the work of many. I couldn’t lie to my children and tell them that I purchased gifts I hadn’t. I told them the truth— that I had no idea where those gifts came from. I wasn’t so sure about the fat man in the suit or the reindeer but I can’t totally discount them either. I’m 63 and I check the night sky every December. For I have five children and I’ve seen much bigger miracles.
It is only those gifts that we give anonymously that are truly our gifts to the Christchild. Those gifts that we receive anonymously must be accepted as gifts from God because HE has moved a heart to provide them.
Tell him the truth; Santa is absolutely real. :mx_claus::christmas_tree:

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My 10 and 15 year old know Santa
‘Isn’t real’. Because they one day just asked me. The way I explained it is, I’m Santa, nan is Santa, their aunts and uncles are Santa. Santa is the Christmas magic that lives through us all. And now they’re Santa too, to my youngest who just turned 6 :heart:


At 11, if not mentally delayed or isolated from the outside world, he likely already knows and has for a very long time. I knew years before I told my mom. I don’t understand lying to kids about Santa, anyway. People get mad people lie, yet start their kids off with lies. Lol. My kids still found the whole Christmas/ Santa thing fun. I remember being pretty pissed when I find out it was all a lie.

My son is 10 and he told me Santa isn’t real. He told me it’s impossible for 1 man to deliver presents to every child in 1 night

my son knows I’m the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, but he says he still believes in Santa, I told him that was alright (he said he kinda figured i was the tooth fairy and Easter bunny, he’s 11 as well)

Don’t tell him unless he ask you

Well if your son is the eldest maybe say that you have heard that Santa has been inundated with letters for presents how about having a Christmas with him being Santa’s messenger to the littles ones and help you and his dad in putting presents under the tree but not telling the little ones that it’s from you guys and if you could then start explaining that every year as he is growing older Santa concentrates on the little kids, when you reach the age of eleven it’s time for him to move on by helping his parents choosing the little ones be truthful young adults are Santa s helpers and take it from there,

My Kids are 29 and 33. Every year I ask them if they believe in Santa! Told them the Santa present disappears when they say No!

He probably already knows at that age


I was like 12, simpler times, early 90s, no Internet. I was absolutely gutted when my parents sat me down and explained it to me, or actually got annoyed at me for still believing in Santa. I think kids nowadays have a harder time keeping that innocence because someone at school will tell them often in lil grades.
I know they are believing a lil bit longer now though cause I sub and sometimes I come across slightly older kids that are die hard believers still in middle school ages. He may have an inkling. I think let his peers tell him. it seems unkind yes and maybe equally traumatic coming from other kids but he has to learn sometime. He may see something online or hear something. Just keep lines of communication open and be honest when he comes to you. These post pandemic kiddos are more believing because they were more isolated and I think in many ways much kinder to each other. There is a huge push in schools to be more tolerant of other’s beliefs than ever before. Yes there are still bullies but it’s more subtle and more in background. He will find out and it will be hard but maybe let him have one more holiday. I personally wish my folks has waited instead of just screaming at me one year about how stupid I was and how annoying it was that I was the only one in the family Of near aged kids that still believed. I had 2cousins a few wks older and a sister and another cousin slightly older. Even my younger cousin knew before me and he was almost 2 yrs younger. I was last one holding out. I think I suspected but it was just another horrible thing that year that was ripping away at my fragile childhood mind. I lost my great grandpa that fall and a school mate died of leukemia, we read bridge to terabithia… and old yeller too at school. I was surrounded by tragedy and death. I needed to hold onto to some magic but my parents decided to rip off the bandaid. I am still salty about it and I’m In my 40s lol let him hold onto to that magic as long as he wants or needs to. He will figure it out and when he does explain that those things are a feeling that everyone can be like Santa or Easter Bunny etc it’s a magic you can create for others like youger siblings or friends, cousins etc and there is no shame In holding into it it for as long as he needs to :heart:


11 year old.:roll_eyes:… If he doesn’t know by now he’ll never know. Have you got him locked up in a closet.

Let the kid still imagine
They still believe
Most kids up to 9 still believe Santa is real …

Keep doing it untill he realizes he not real

I plan on going up to 12 if he still believe theirs a Santa if not I’m still doing stocking untill he’s 40 years old

He’s my only baby my only child so let him believe theirs still a Santa

I know someone who told their child - and 4 years later the child still brings it up every Xmas that they ruined Xmas for them. Why would you want to be the one to destroy the magic and give child that childhood memory? Kids aren’t stupid -when they are ready to find out … they do so… now if he asks you … of course by all means be honest … but to just blurt it out… there’s no need


A lot of children that age pretend they still believe. That way they think they will get more gifts.

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I have 3 kids ages 17, 14, and 5 and I have never told them anything and let them believe as long as they wanted. The way my husband and I think is it is magic and the world is hard and full of ugly truth so if we can give them the magic as long as they want what harm could it have. Then when other cousins or kids say Santa isn’t real we just say as long as you believe in the magic of Christmas then Santa will deliver to you and maybe those kids no longer believe. Yes our older kids most likely know the truth but they LOVE Christmas and we will provide it until we are unable.

Why did you even tell these lies to your child from the beginning?

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Wait till he comes to you. Let him figure it out on his own.

We taught our 8yo that Santa is a feeling or spirit of the season and while the character isn’t real giving without expecting is. That it should make you feel good to give a little magic to others.

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I would ride it out as long as possible. At 11 it’s awesome he still believes…I say let him do so a little bit longer! Kids grow up so fast these days


I always told
my kids, there is a Santa as long
as they believe there is.
While they figure it out on their own, it keeps the spirit alive another few years cause they want
to come down xmas morning to surprises.

Show him how to " be "Santa,the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny. Give him the joy of giving to others ,for the joy.


Ok told my kids over the summer after 5th grade. My oldest was surprised because he knew we had hard years but always got what he wanted so it was easy to believe. Same with my twins. Now at 16 and twin 14 year old they are excited to see their little sister experience the magic.

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I’ve always loved the idea of explaining that Santa is a role we play for others, rather than a real person…and then letting them be that role for a younger child (which makes having a younger sibling perfect). They feel like they’re being let in on a secret, and get to keep that magic, just in a different way.

Let him enjoy it. Keep that inner child alive and happy as long as you can.


My kids are 43, 40, 37, 31 and 31 and I still to this day have never said That I don’t believe in Santa! And I’m sure they figured it out on there own, they all have kids of their own. But I still believe :blush:

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Santa is real! Why ruin that spirit? Cherish it!:orange_heart:

My kid is 14 and doesn’t believe but I still make him go to bed and wait on “Santa” we ring bells by his window too! Don’t take that away from that baby!

Let it go as long as possible. My little sister found out in like 7th grade. Shes a junior now and she doesn’t say anything around my girls. I caught my parents putting presents out when i was in 4th grade

Let him believe in all of them for how ever long he decides. My 7 year old still believes in everything and I’m not spoiling that…

I think my 3 girls knew at about 11 but never said anything because I’m obsessed with Xmas and Santa I make a big deal out of the holiday so now at age 21,16,14 alm their gifts still say from Santa

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My sons 11 and he knows the truth because a friend told him, he’s a good sport and still acts like he believes for his younger siblings but in my opinion, let him be little if he still believes then let the magic still sparkle for him!

My children are older, they’ve known about “”Santa” since about 7 or 8… my oldest is 22, and I still write from Santa on the gifts….

I suggest you explain to him to truth now, instead of him finding g out in school.

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All those things your afraid of are what will help him build coping skills that will be needed in later life. Let them learn by experience

He may just say he does to spare your feelings on the matter. I say leave it alone and if he brings it up then discuss.

My youngest is 10 and recently went to my oldest daughter and asked “if I tell mum that I know she is the tooth fairy will I still get the coin”? :sweat_smile:
I think around this age they start to figure it out themselves. But if you do want to tell him, just explain that parents do these things in the spirit of giving.

I say let him believe until he doesn’t. He may or may not find out from other kids, but why not let him enjoy it for now?

My daughter has been hearing it at school for years and she’s 9… she still believes and I wouldn’t change it for the world.


Let him figure it out on his own. How did you find out?

My. Only child who still believes in Santa is almost 12. His younger sister and older siblings no he’s not real. But we are gonna let him believe as long as we can. Even though people have told him it’s not real. He believes he saw Santa when he was little. Sooo y would we disillusion him of that

That’s a tough one. It’s kind of a bothersome thing to me. It’s a completely made up lie and I feel guilty for doing it. Honestly, I’m irritated with myself for falling into all the hoopla in the first place. What a weird concept that a man comes into your home while you sleep and takes credit for your hard work. To each their own though.

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Let him believe as long as possible!

Leave him be. especially as you have younger child let him have the excitement of father Christmas I’m 85 years old now but when my children where little and father Christmas came down road on the Christmas truck I was out there with them screaming laughing crying shouting Santa waving to him my children went back in the house so happy so let him have his happy dreams and he finds out for himself hope you and your family have a happy. Christmas :christmas_tree::gift:

Yes tell him the truth my daughter is nine and asked me she kinda figured it out since the cookies we put out are her daddy’s favorite.she said she still likes to believe I do too and I’m grown.its just fun.

Wow he is really playing you guys. That child knows all of that is make believe but doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Smh

5th grade is time to ask him to be a santas helper with you. With littler siblings he can participate in their excitement. Then he can continue with a little joy and help shop and wrap gifts for his family and some for donations. You will still shop and wrap for him as a mom helper. The other kids will make fun of him and that memory will be forever.

Let him believe as long as he wants. It’s a magical season. Should be kept that way.

He most likely already knows and possibly just humouring you to keep the spirit alive. Just go along with it.

This is such a touchy subject. Im the same with wanting my kids to experience the magic of the holidays as long as possible. I honestly don’t know what the right thing to do is. Well if there is a right and wrong here. U n ur husband have valid points. Whatever u choose, its gotta be right for ur family and u don’t have to rush it. Maybe let him have this year n afterwards tell him?

There’s no need to tell him. Let him believe as long as possible. Christmas stops being magical when you know


You’ll know the right time…don’t ruin the magic

Let the magic live as long as possible I wouldn’t say anything :sparkles:

Tell him the truth. I told my kids that Santa was based on a real person. Saint Nicholis. I also told them that people don’t live forever, so now parents continue to do what he started