If you’re engaged for 2 years and there is no talk of getting married should you leave the relationship? We’ve been together 4 years.He just keeps saying “if we were to get married” whenever I bring up marriage. Thanks
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Should you leave a relationship if there is no talk of marriage?
I’d tell h that marriage is important to you and I’d let him wait for at least 5 years cause I feel like 5 years is the true tell of time. But then after that is dragging of the feet and you should prob get out and find someone who wants what you want in the long run.
I was engaged for 10 years before we got married. It doesn’t always mean they’re not wanting to or a sign of doom. We’ve been together 17 years, sometimes it just takes time. But if you’re worried maybe try talking to them? When they say “if” you need to stop them right there and ask them what they mean, ask for clarification.
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You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel talk about dates and see if he is ready to lock one in.
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LEAVE, SAY NOTHING, HES REAPING ALL THE BENEFITS…START PLANNING A WAY OUT THEN JUST LEAVE… don’t listen to anything he has to say, he will try and talk you into staying, let someone else play wife while you go get what you want…YOU DESERVE IT!!!
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that’s up to you and only you. you should probably have a conversation, if you want to get married now or in the very near future and he doesn’t, then you should probably leave and find someone who also wants to get married soon.
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The question I want to ask is, how is he with everything else? Do you really want to throw away a good relationship/guy out just because of that? There are many couples that have long engagements but still get married down the road. If you really want a good start in it, communicate to him the importance to you. Even if it’s saying in x amount of years time.
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Then ask flat-out if he has intentions to marry. Communication is one of the MOST important qualities and if you’re feeling like getting married is a make it or break it then say it out loud, nice and clear.
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I’m confused. He proposed marriage to you? Gave you a ring? Why don’t you just start planning the wedding…
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Y rush it take time to figure things out planning wedding and marriage is huge thing so he may have some reservations about it so talk to him about it instead of jumping gun and just leave
You gotta have a serious talk with yourself and then with him about expectations.
In the beginning I wanted to get married. And then I realized I didn’t really care all that much about it. Especially when I realized that society pressure and "god " were the only reasons I had wanted to when I was younger anyway. And now that both of those things don’t matter to me, I’m content. there were years in between the change of these beliefs tho.
My guy and I have nowbeen together 7 years and I’m totally fine with never getting married 
Time to go. He has no intention to marry you
It sounds like he got engaged to shut you up AND keep you all for himself. Time to move on, especially since he won’t talk about it.
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Some people just don’t care about marriage like that I know I don’t. I mean is he a good does he treat you good. If so would you really throw it all away for a piece of paper?? It really just matters how much it means to you. Have u actually sat down and talked to him about it??
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l get paid over $115 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $18847 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Well, if you’re engaged, plan the wedding?
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Sounds like he’s getting the milk for free so he sees no reason to buy the cow. He’s getting all the benefits of marriage without the commitment. Ask him point blank if he ever intends to marry you and when. Or tell him when the date is and make like you’re planning the wedding. If he backs out, you’ll have your answer.
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Ask him what the point of being engaged is, if there is no intent of actually getting married. If not getting married is a deal breaker for you, than convey that to him. Maybe he thought he could just skate by with being permanently engaged.
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You are guys are just playing house. Don’t bring up marriage, instead bring up your future goals and aspirations and ask if he wants to be a part of them. If he doesn’t then you know it’s time to move on and find someone that does. If he does want to be apart of it, then set a date. If the date comes and goes or he backs out, then again, you have the answer to your question. In all honesty, it sounds like you have different future paths and you have a little more ambition for those future goals than your partner and there’s nothing wrong with that it just means that you aren’t right for each other and if you are already asking about moving on then maybe it’s time to move on.
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My husband and I have been together 16 years. We’ve only been married for 6 years. We had a baby 2 months after our 15 year anniversary.
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Straight up, he will never marry you. He doesn’t want to commit to a marriage.
You need to ask yourself if that’s something you’re okay with.
I personally would leave. I go into a relationship with an end goal of building a life together and getting married. That’s my personal preference.
If you’re okay with possibly never getting married, then stay. But it is 100% a personal decision, there is no right or wrong.
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I would be asking him “what do you mean IF WE WERE to get married?”
There is only one reason to get engaged and not start planning a wedding… that is to shut you up. If you were talking about marriage, and now y’all are engaged but there is no talk of a wedding, chances are he proposed to get you to stop talking about it.
I’d flat out tell him it’s time to set a date and start planning. If he sets a date, then plan the wedding. If he pulls some bullshit excuse, then yeah, he put a ring on your finger just to shut you up.
Alternatively though, people are together for years upon years with no engagement and then people get engaged and are together years upon years without ever planning a wedding. So it really depends on your relationship. There really isn’t enough context.
How is your relationship? Is it good? Do y’all fight a lot? Is there cheating? Abuse? Control issues?
l get paid over $ 185 per hour working from home. l never thought I’d be able to do it but my buddy makes over $ 18070 a month doing this and she convinced me to try. The possibility with this is endless.
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Go head and set the date and start planning the wedding
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Please don’t be me. My bf made variations on the same comment for 20 years. There was always some string attached but the comments were reasonable enough and I was in a career that would not allow me to pack up and move due to licensing restrictions. When my retirement came up, he talked about moving out of state and mentioned that I could join him, if I wanted. I got the answer I knew was coming. He’s been out of the picture for a while. We are friends and nothing more.
Please don’t be me. Let him know you would like to start planning your wedding and you’d like the date of the wedding to be xxx. Ask him if xxx works for him. Ask him to go ahead and ask for that date and the week after for your honeymoon. Start planning. Pick the honeymoon location together and ask him to make the deposit. Ask him about the wedding venue, make an appointment and take him with you to the appointment. If he doesn’t go or makes excuses, you know he doesn’t want to marry you. If things seem to go well at the 6 months point, you are going to have to have some significant capital outlay so watch for signs of anxiety or cold feet. If there’s any wavering, you will have your answer.
Most of all, please don’t be me.
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My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We have no intention of ever getting married. It’s not important to me, and he’s been there, done that.
I don’t see how you are engaged and he says this. Is he unaware? Lol. Sorry but that’s weird of him to say if y’all are engaged. Sounds like he is taking advantage of the fact you are acting more like a wife now you are engaged. Ask him point blank what’s the point of being engaged and saying that. Me and my SO have been together for 10 years. We have a mutual regard to marriage and we will when we decide it’s the best time. We may never get married. That works for us. If you have an expectation of marriage and he doesn’t match that, you need to make some decisions a
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Some men just aren’t interested in planning the wedding. He could be wondering why you haven’t started making plans yet.
U need to have a talk with him and find out his intentions
“ if you were to get married ?”…. Do you have a ring ? Did he ask you to marry him ?
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Book a date baby!!!
If you’re engaged it should be a when conversation. He can’t commit.
Most of these women are right. Communication is important. Tell him how you feel without making it an argument. The women saying it’s not important to them to be married that it’s only a piece of paper … lol! Wait until something important comes along and only the next of kin can make a decision “that’s not you”. That piece of paper holds a lot of weight and protection for you and any children that you might have. He has had plenty of time to decide if he really wants to get married or not. Don’t wait to long!
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If marriage is important to you then you need to sit him down and tell him how you feel and explain that you want to get married and you’re tired of waiting so if he’s serious about it then you need to start talking about a date. Two years is a long time to be engaged, i would have been pushing the point if i was engaged one year with no talk of setting a date. To me it sounds like he’s stringing you along with no plans of following through.
That’s a personal choice. Sometimes both are ok with just living together, being boyfriend/girlfriend or just being engaged. If your goal is to one day be married and he keeps putting of off then, I’d say yes. It’s time to move on and forward
I’m the type of person I always say “if and when.” “If and when we buy a house, if and when we go to Mexico.” Only because life doesn’t always go as planned so I personally don’t like to say “when we” bc if it doesn’t happen I’m not too upset. However, if getting married IS the plan. It shouldn’t be a question, only questions are when, where and how. I would just ask him what’s the plan for you guys.