Hi
I have been with my husband a long time, almost 20 years. Both of us loyal and faithful. Although his online habits aren’t very good. The past 6 years have been really rough, arguing, shouting and swearing, calling me names. Calling the children names and swearing at them. Looking at other woman, dodgy online history. I told him enough is enough, I’ve checked out emotionally and mentally and I’m done. So I moved out! It was rough at first and he was angry and the children were angry with me, our friends are the same so I couldn’t vent to them or seek support as they want to be there for both of us. I’ve been living with my mother and he stayed at the house with the children as my job is more intense and he had nowhere to move to.
2 months into our separation, I slept with a friend who is in no way connected to my family, they were supportive and understood as 2 years previously he’d been through the same thing. Sleeping with this man is completely out of character for me. I’ve been with the same man for 20 years, so it was unusual and looking back I kind of regret it. It was nice having support and understanding and it just went from there.
Present day, things between my husband and I are easing and more amicable. We actually laugh together. He’s begging for me to come back. The man I slept with is not on the scene, it was just a friend with benefit, nothing more and we barely speak other than the odd “how are you” text message every few weeks. Which obviously I’d stop entirely and block if I did try and go home.
If I tell my husband this happened, he would stop me seeing my children, even though we’re separated and living apart. A part of me wants to go back, try and work through his anger issues. But how can I do that without telling him the truth? Yes maybe I’m the a-hole in all of this. Just want some advice not berating. Thanks.