Needing some advice. I’m a pretty introverted person just to put this out their first and foremost.
My husband and I have a blended family. He has his daughter (6) from his first marriage, my daughter who is 8 is from mine. Together we have a 2 year old. His brothers wife and daughter are outwardly nasty to myself and my 8 year old daughter. Their 11 year old has told the other cousins on many occasions not to be nice to or play with my daughter because she is “not really our cousin” and it absolutely breaks mine and my daughters hearts. The 11 year olds mother has been told that her daughter says these things and she says “oh well that’s her opinion, I’m not going to tell her what to say”. This weekend, two of the other cousins were at our house and were being absolutely awful to my daughter and she was bawling. I pulled them aside and asked why they think it’s okay to treat their cousin this way. They responded with “____ says that she’s not our cousin and we shouldn’t be nice to her” so I proceeded to have a conversation with them about how they would feel if they were treated that way and they were in my daughters position— after this, they all played together and got along the rest of the day. That evening, one of the cousins that was at my house called the 11 year old and told them everything I told them that day. None of which was bad, or anything I wouldn’t have said to my own kids. Today, my husband calls me screaming at me, telling me that I need to get this drama solved and that it’s ridiculous and I need to learn to watch my mouth? This specific sister in law of his mind you, has had drama with multiple people in his family. I guess I’m just at a loss for what to do. This woman is completely unapproachable and I know that if I went to her house to try and talk to her I would get the door slammed in my face, and if I wrote her I’m sure she would write back screaming at me or lord only knows what else. I want things to get better but I have no flipping idea what to do. 
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I have a blended family. My oldest step daughter was 7 when we got married. She proceeded to make my life misery until she left at 18. She told lies and turned all of my in-laws against me. She is 37 now. I tried until 1 year ago to have a relationship with her. But she no longer speaks to me. So I hope you can have a better relationship somehow. But sometimes it’s not meant to be.
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All I can think of is maybe a few girls days with just the 3 of you.
Honestly just stop going to any events that she and her daughter will be present at. Also you need to sit down with your husband and have heart to heart convo and even have your faughter talk to him so he sees how badly this is affecting her. He needs to stand up for you and your daughter especially if he sees your daughter as his own. Doesn’t matter who this person is or how they are related he needs to stick up for you and all his kids biological or not. Also tell him until she treats you and your girl better and her kid does too then you arent going to any family functions. Thats my opinion at least
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You’re husband needs to fix it, not you. That’s his family and he should stick up for you and your daughter. If he can’t, I wouldn’t attend any family functions.
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Simple. Don’t allow them to come over. ESPECIALLY if you’re the one who is supposed to watch said children. Nope and nope. You’re not welcome in my house. Period. As for your husband ask him how he would feel if YOUR family did this to HIS daughter?
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Your husband needs to deal with that. I don’t see why someone can’t be civil at least where kids are concerned. My ex and I have a son and his new gf has a daughter and they have a daughter together. We all get along. The two girls are my sons sisters. No matter weather one is blood or not. They are welcome at my house and even stay with us in occasion. The women is being petty over her dislike of you. Your husband needs to handle the situation or I’d stop going around those people. No point making your daughter feel horrible bc of their actions. He’d stand up for my daughter or I damn sure would.
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What i would do… might be petty… but here it goes tell the kids they cant play with her toys at all. And have to sit on the couch. Sec confront the sister of your man. Tell her about her self. Then tell them all to get the fuck out. Its not fair. And its not okay for your daughter to be mistreated. Or you can have your daughter invite her bf so she can play with her toys with her friend. That is truly pathetic. And i would treat them the same back. Your daughter deserves respect. I will get petty if i have to.
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My parents treated my son’s fathers first son as their own. His family hates me and our son. I literally have practically cut his family out of my son’s life Cut them out!
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Although you can’t do much in regards to his child from the previous marriage you have two children that would not be allowed to go around them at all. I would tell him flat out if he chooses to support the isolation of you and your daughter with his family then he can go with them as well. No child should be alienated for any reason and him saying it’s okay is him saying he doesn’t see her as his own as well and doesn’t expect them to either. Either he solves it or he can hit the high road.
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Naybe your husband needs to talk to her about it,and stick up for you and your daughter he married you knowing going in that you had a daughter so it is his to.if they cant be nice then dont go around them.and dont have them at your house, but at least you can say something vuz they are at your house.
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It is NOT your responsibility to “solve” this drama. This is HIS family’s BS and it’s on him. He should support you end of story. Maybe he should watch his own mouth
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When I was younger my dad married this awful lady & she had 2 boys & 1 girl , my dad had me & my little brother. Long story short my dads ex wife (his wife at the time) and her family would treat me and my brother like absolute trash when my dad wasn’t around. It never got better. My dad had to divorce her.
Your husband should understand from yours and your daughters point of view
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I’m sorry, but this doesn’t say a whole lot about the type of man your husband is. Sounds to me like he needs to grow a spine and put his family in their place, or keep you and your daughter away from them. Period!
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Your in-laws and husband for that matter need to grow TFU. Parents like that are the reason kids are so nasty and entitled these days and why bullying is such a big problem. Your husband should treat your child as his own and have your backs over anyone else’s. I’m sorry your daughter has to suffer these emotions and I hope things change for the better right away. Also as his wife, he should learn how to treat you but it sounds like that is acceptable in his family so you might need to put him in his place lol