Something feels off with my boyfriend: Advice?

I’ve been dating a guy for 2 years, I’ve got 3 kids from a previous relationship, he’s got one. We have an amazing blended family. I left my rented house and moved in with him in April this year so we could save and get a mortgage. It meant my kids went to live with their Dad instead of me as he owns his 2 bed apartment and I didn’t so made sense. Anyhow, recently he’s been acting ‘off’ he took wash stuff to the gym because he wanted to shower there (in the 2 years I’ve known him he’s never showered at the gym)There was also a night I stayed up later than him because I was crocheting and he accused me of staying up late because I was messaging someone else? Which screams to me guilty conscience.Am I being paranoid?My previous relationship was toxic and with a narcissist so I doubt my own thoughts all the time.


I stopped reading at " the kids went to stay with their dad". That may be your problem right there. Man over kids.

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I quit reading at " my kids had to go live with their Dad" who does that to move in with a man?

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Y’all calling her out for the kids living with dad is messed up. She didn’t give up her kids. The father is as much of a parent as mom… children can reside with either parent and still have happy healthy relationships with the other.

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I don’t think anyone caught the part where kids moved in with dad so mom could move in with boyfriend FOR FINANCIAL reasons. She’s TRYING to get a bigger house to buy and live in with them. Some people fall in hard times at least she’s TRYING to do what’s best for her kids and yall wanna drag her for it because she went about it in a way you wouldn’t? Smh

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I say take the money you have, leave and get a place with room for your kids. I think you had good intentions when you made the decision to save for a house, so I’m not going to attack you for that like everyone else. The fact that he’s randomly doing that and then accusing you does make me wonder if he’s projecting and even if he isn’t, that’s not a healthy dynamic. You could always say you’re going to the gym too and see how he reacts. :woman_shrugging:

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Your kids moved in with their dad so you could move in with your boyfriend…WOW.


I’m sorry…you sent your kids to live with there Dad (lucky him) to move in with a boyfriend…come’on


He could be projecting his own guilt onto you… Showering at the “gym” suddenly is odd indeed. We need more info :thinking:


Trust your gut!! If something feels off, it probably is.


There’s that old saying coming forward…"If there’s issues before a major commitment things only get worse. Never share mortgages, joint accounts, or Anything to that affect, unless you are Married! The courts Will Not help in a dispute over property or anything with people playing house while not married if things turn sour.


No that’s suspicious. Dont downplay your instincts. Make sure you have your finances easily accessible to you only incase it is something worse and you need to end the relationship.


You should have never mentioned the kids living w dad because that’s the only focus now on this post. And they’re being negative and judgemental about it like the dad isn’t as much of a parent as the mom smh. There’s nothing wrong w the primary home being the dad’s. And most of these women judging you are the first one to scream about women rights and feminism saying things about women and men being equals lol :woman_facepalming:t4::roll_eyes: but anyway, trust your gut and don’t waste a ton of time w him if you really know he’s doing wrong. Maybe feel it out a little more and get actual proof he’s doing wrong before u jump the gun. Instincts are usually right tho


Your enter voice is speaking to you. You know if you are right.


Clear the air with him. If you’re living with him, it’s time you begin to communicate.


Nope. You ALWAYS trust your gut. Why did you have to get rid of your home and YOUR kids? If you are a family or going to be together you should see how that blend is blending- your kids should come first. He should want that for you as well. How much have you saved? Will you both be on the deed? I would be leery of giving everything up for this possibility because people can change. New behaviors and indicate new things did he even go to the gym? Offer to go with him sometime and see what he says; Talk about your future together see how that goes- people change and feelings can too so have a conversation about your concerns and see what happens. Trust yourself always. Try looking before a place where you can all be together- if he owns his place can he sell it for a down payment or something? This all seems weird because you gave up everything

You lost me at I sent the kids to live with their dad and then later said he’s narcissistic. That doesn’t sound like a good environment for them

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I would never under any circumstances leave my children so I could move in with my boyfriend. She’s just trying to justify her stupidity. Children should stay with the dad


Put a air tag on his gym bag and find out: be prepared!!! Simple even if hurts

Why not sell his apartment and get the money, put it aside and rent a,house big enough for all of you. It may take longer, but then again…separate your money because I feel you are going to need it.

Sounds like he’s reflecting his guilt to you. Had someone do that to me once.


Nope!! Nothing would ever make me leave my kids. Nothing about that makes sense. Sorry you need advice but I can’t read past that point where you thought it made sense to leave your kids to save money.


Best I keep my mouth shut this time…imagine that…but like judge Judy says, the courts are not here to sort out the pots and pans of your failed relationships.

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Go on about your life & get your kid’s back💯

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Listen to us here. ALWAYS trust your gut feeling. You shouldn’t of moved in cause yeah I’m sure he’s cheating


I too was in a very ugly relationship and question my feelings and thoughts too bc sometimes they are skewed based off the past BUT…if your gut is really telling you there’s something off it’s bc there is. He definitely sounds like he’s projecting.

First of all you have to be smarter than him. Do some investigating on your own.

You’re not being paranoid. And did you just admit you picked him over your kids? Or did I misunderstand that?
Never ever chose a guy over your own kids. This is your karma.


Hang on you gave your kids away to the dad full time so you could live with this man you’ve only been with for 2 years???Wth is up with that. Your kids will never forgive you for that bs no matter the excuse you wanna try using Hope it blows up in your face and dad refuses to hand children back, that will be your karma.

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How about ask him before jumping to conclusions. His response , whether he says yes or no will show the truth.

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Yea sounds like he’s hiding stuff. Also…I hope the toxic narcissist isn’t the same person you sent your kids to live with

Idk sometimes you just don’t see the true colors until you make a step like this. But you had your kids live with their dad so you could move in with the boyfriend?

You should be more concerned with the fact that you basically gave your kids to their dad for a guy you been with for 2 years wow

First problem here is choosing a man over your children.Wake TF up.

Why is it bad for children to live with their dads??? My dad raised three of us. They are parents too.

What’s wrong with kids living with there dad

Why would you let go of your children to be with this man? If anything, make sure your children are happy and maybe, maybe let another guy into you and your children’s life. I know I don’t know your circumstances but from what I read, you disgust me. Him possibly cheating over some lame evidence? Spend that time you’re spying on him on being a mom. Ffs.

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Trust your gutt, not your heart.

U gave ur kids up to move in w a man? I’d die without mine everyday. How did they feel about that? The sudden change to benefit you and your relationship? Messed up.

I wouldn’t be to worried about him cheating i am more concerned that you ditched your kids so you could move in with him and his kid. Just wow !

Hold on, you left your children for a man? You are getting exactly what you deserve.


Suddenly wanted to shower at the gym? What advice do you need besides…

Jessica Hagood same :woozy_face: priorities a bit mixed up

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No trust no relationship…I’d RUN!!

You gave up your kids to move in with some dude???

Letting your kids go is what you should be concerned with that’s ludicrous to me.


What?? You gave your children up to live with a boyfriend? No man is ever worth more than your children. No this doesn’t make sense

Dating or in a committed relationship because those are two different things.and you gave your kids foundation up for this man?

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You gave up your kids and moved in with a guy shame on you you’ll get what you deserve


Wait…you gave up your kids to live with a man? Is their dad the “narcissist” you mentioned?


Trust your gut about him. But you already fucked up by giving up your kids to live with him

So your saying you chose a man over your kids??? I would have never moved somewhere without my kids


Accusations are often confessions. He has a guilty conscience.

He might be ‘projecting’ - perhaps he has cheated and now he is suspicious of you doing the same

1st of all , I never would have moved in with him , if my kids had to go live someplace else, what were you thinking,that’s not ok . Second yeah he’s probably cheating on you , and trying to make it like you are, now he has you in a spot , you have no home of your own, and he wants to cheat, . Who knows what else he’s going to do , your kids come 1 st always. . It bothers me you gave them up so you could live with him, wow just wow


Seems weird to me. Sounds like he’s projecting.

I stopped reading after you gave up your children to live with a man.


Why would any mother move in with someone then have her kids move in with their dad ? That’s sad. Always look out for your kids first. And yes it looks like he may be two timing you


I’m not being bad but if my partner started being off with me and showering at the gym I’d just ask him straight out what was wrong. Yes it’s suspicious behaviour and yes it seems like he’s putting his guilt on you. You asked for advice so my advice would be get out now, get yourself an apartment and get your kids back as they should be your focus.


Start saving to rent a place very soon , this man is cheating on you and you will be :leg: from his place soon

Trust your gut.
You’ve got that feeling for a reason.

Maybe he no longer respects u due the the fact u put a man before ur own child :roll_eyes::roll_eyes:

Follow him to the gym to see what he does.

Accusing you means he might be doing something he shouldn’t