Sometimes I feel like I cannot be compatible with my husband. Today is the day. I am a huge believer, we gotta look at the good sides instead of bad sides, but that motto hasn’t helped me to make peace yet because I am very emotional at the moment. How do you handle yours? If you have any tips. I would appreciate it.
I think you first need to accept that both of you have different upbringings, different life and lifestyles, bottom line, yoir different people. Before you married him, you knew this. So now that your married, both of you need to find compromise. My husband and I fight but at the d end, that love is the foundation we use to built compromise.
Try therapy. It really can help. Then if you end up divorced, you have peace of mind knowing you tried it.
You need to talk to your hubby about how you’re feeling. Maybe with a couple therapist. Try and take time alone together like a long weekend or even just a date night to rekindle things.
We don’t know EVERYTHING about our spouses even when we marry them. It’s a growing process and there’s many growing pains to go along with that. But the blessing is in choosing to love them each day.
We learn, we grow, we heal and keep growing!
I mean this as long as it isn’t an abusive situation.
But you may not always like each other at times but when you are able to come together and really talk about the issues, you WILL grow. It’s a blessing to stay committed and keep the vows. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows.
But love is not a noun/feeling! At first is is, it’s a rush, a infatuation. But real LOVE; it’s a verb, to DO! It’s chosing/doing!
When you each chose to love one another and put the other first it works.
Wake up everyday thinking what can I do to make his/her morning/day/life better! If each does that for the other it’s a beautiful thing!
Sure we have moments where one will carry the other more. Such as in sickness, bad days, extra stress, etc. but you get the gist.
My hubby and I have been married 27 years and we are more in love than ever.
We had rough times. But when you learn and grow it’s is SO much sweeter. People are so quick to bow out and don’t see how amazing the reward is! It is truly remarkable.
The love is so so deep. It’s a bond that will leave you speechless trying to describe it.
I learned that when we would argue I would focus on what I wanted to say next and not on listening to what he was saying. I think most people do that! He confessed that he’s done that before too.
It’s human.
Listening is key. We have to stop trying to defend our own way and listen to our partner and hear how they feel/think about something, process it and understand it so they feel validated. Being SEEN is huge. It’s one of the biggest complaints I hear people say is that they don’t feel seen.
Approach your spouse with a soft heart ready to listen and ask him to do the same. Give each other time to express your thoughts. Walk away for time to think, if it works. When you can, talk about what you heard from the other and if you heard correctly then how you feel about it.
How can you both reach across the isle so to speak and meet in the middle. Also holding hands while talking and keeping a physical connection can help the bond.
Best of luck!
This post is a little confuse
Not knowing your problems how do you expect us to reply ?
This post is confusing and feels like a bunch of stuff got deleted. More details would be helpful. Without it I guess either trust your gut, or try individual and couples therapy
Why does this feel like 2 posts got jumbled together?