So backstory, I am 34 years old and have been with my husband since I was 20 years old. We had our first child when I was 21 and now have a 13 and 7 year old. We got married back in 2015. So needless to say I’ve never even had the chance to live and grow as a person for myself, just as a mom and wife.
Fast forward to now. I think I’m done with this relationship. I don’t feel as though there is a connection anymore, and it’s not really fair to me to stay if im not happy right? Even though my kids will be upset?
Its been a little bit that ive been not feeling quite right or happy and I guess now I’m starting to realize it. I was happy with the part time working and also mom/wife position but now I feel more like a live in maid that has sex once and awhile. He barely ever tells me he loves me, there is no sort of intimacy (hand holding, quick kisses, ass grabbing, etc) and its just not there. Upon talking to some friends I have more come to the realization that I think I stay because its comfortable, its stable, and I guess I feel bad for him. I take care of all the bills and planning and his medical needs (type 1 diabetic) and what if he can’t do it alone? Like I love him, and im sure I always will but im not so much in love anymore?
Lastly, yes there is someone else. Someone who has always been there, always been a friend and that I’ve always had feelings for. He currently lives out of state about 16 hours away so nothing has happened but the idea is for me to move down there. How does this work with kids? I’m so lost and I feel like a piece of shit and I know its not going to be easy but I need to do whats best for me too…
So now my problem is, I only work part time, especially since covid and school issues, we share a vehicle (his) so I really have no savings and no way to go anywhere.
Sorry for the long post. I hope that someone maybe has some advice for me? Or has been in the same situation as me? Thanks mamas!