The daycare said they wouldn't continue watching my child if he didn't stop crying: Advice?

Needing advice…i officially went back to work and my son has to go to daycare while i am there…the daycare teacher reached out to me on day 2 telling me they wont be able to keep him any longer if he wont stop crying…and he does cry a majority of the time bc he is used to being with me all day and i now feel uncomfortable with him being there but i need a job so i dont know what to do…is it not their job to handle these types of things and make it a smooth transition?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. The daycare said they wouldn't continue watching my child if he didn't stop crying: Advice?

Pull him out of there. Find another one.

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Thats classic seperation anxiety. And after just 2 days they havent even given him a chance to acclimate!! Something about that doesnt sit right with me. If ibwere yo uh id start looking for another daycare. I hope you find a better fit for your baby before they risk your job.

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I run an in-home daycare and some children take longer to adjust than others. The fact that it’s only been day 2 is really sad that they are unable to handle it. I would try to look for a smaller daycare.

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Dump that daycare as soon as you can. They are extremely unprofessional and obviously have no clue how to care for children.

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Pull him out and find a different daycare

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Report them for their unprofessionalism, it is literally their job to care for and help transition children like that. Pull your son out and find another day care. Explain why you are making the switch and speak to them about your son’s separation anxiety so you don’t waste time (if they were to act the same way as the first day care) with another facility and have to take more time out to find a third one.

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Sounds like they don’t ha much patience if it’s only day to and they don’t like it

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I would find another daycare?? How old is the child? Can they speak? If not definitely change childcare providers.

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On day 2??? That’s so sad and awful!!!

No matter what age, all young kids need time to adjust! My son is 3 and has been with me all day everyday since he was born. If I sent him to day care, he would cry too I’m sure and need a bit to adjust.

That’s so messed up. Please find a different day care, who knows how they’ll treat him. :pensive::pleading_face:

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Defitnely pull him out!!! My mother in law is an ECE at a daycare and she deals with little ones separation anxiety all the time!!! When a child is use to being with a parent all the time to going to daycare without mommy/daddy its obviously hard on the little ones!! Find another daycare!!!:slight_smile:

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100% find another daycare. I was a toddler teacher for years and kids adjust at their own pace. Some are fine right from day one, some take weeks and then seem fine but on week 6 they start again.

Patience and understanding is what he needs, and they clearly don’t have it!

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As an ex day care worker in a center -this is unacceptable!!!
It does not sound like a good fit /so many options -do what make’s your child & you happy & comfortable!!!

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That’s terrible! I would find another daycare, it’s only day 2 and they are already complaining?? That’s a red flag!

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The daycare needs to be more patient with your child. That being said I wouldn’t keep in that daycare at all BUT it is easier said then done with no other options

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I would find a different place. That’s so off and unsettling to me! I use to work at a daycare. Most of our job was comforting kids. Some had been going there since infancy and would still cry as toddler or preschoolers when mom or dad left them. It’s part of their job!!

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Find another daycare. I work at a daycare and we definitely don’t kick kids out for crying, that’s ridiculous.

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Definitely find another daycare, I was an infant teacher for 8 years and I definitely had my fair share of children who cried everyday for a bit until they got use to myself and the other teacher. It’s their responsibility to build that relationship with the child, to comfort them and do everything in their power to ease their anxiety and to get them to trust them as their caregiver. If it’s only day 2 and they are saying this to you they definitely should be reported and have training or find a different career. I promise their are daycares out there who will take the time and have the patience to make your baby fee
Comfortable and help them through this tough transition. Sending love and prayers that you find them.

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Just go ahead and change daycares now!

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Wow, this daycare doesn’t sound very patient! For the sake of your little one, find another daycare. Little ones need time to adjust and feel comfortable. Some of the kids I get at my BASE program take a couple weeks to adjust. Please, find somewhere else for him.

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I’d personally find another center. That’s horrible. I’m a teacher and my littles miss me every august. This is their job!!!

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They called you on day 2 :flushed: that is completely outrageous. Is this the director who called you? I work in a daycare and this would not happen ever. I would file a complaint and if nothing was done I know it’s tuff but start looking for another daycare, your poor baby and you do not deserve that.

My child did the same thing and the daycare kicked her out. She was also 2 and had never been left alone I sent her to a new daycare and they have had 0 issues with her. It’s daycare not the child I promise.

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Another daycare that’s there job.

How old is your son? Under 3, I’d say he’s reacting normally. Over 3, there might be more to work on.

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My kiddos daycare willing grabs the latched on child and carries him away for me. They hear him yell in the parking lot. But they also engage him all day and love him so much. With their love and interaction I know within moments of me leaving his classroom he is okay and having fun. Find a center that is more family than corporation

Yes it’s their job but also only to an extent there’s only so much they can do to make your kid happy. Some kids just scream and scream and scream. When I watched kids in my home I had kids that would cry all day long no matter what I did for the first week or two. And I get it it’s stressful and it stresses out the other kids and it’s hard. On day two though I’d be concerned. I would probably find a different daycare because no kid is used to daycare by day two especially if they’ve been home with their mom up until now. That’s just unrealistic expectations.

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Try another one and if the same occurs … perhaps more transitioning practice at home is needed. Daycares should provide reasonable help with transitioning but some cases may be more extreme for their resources. I understand the frustration — and the daycare should attempt reasonable methods at helping to transition. They are also not necessarily to blame for a child not acclimating.

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Thank them for letting you know that they lack patience and compassion , so you can find a provider that has these important qualities. :wink:
Sending him there any further wouldn’t be in your son’s best interest.

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I’ll find another daycare for my baby to attend because there’s no telling what they’ll do to your baby after saying that.

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Have you reached out to the director/owner of the daycare? That is unacceptable. I would have a conversation with them and if you still do not feel comfortable, look elsewhere for childcare.

I would be immediately looking for a replacement daycare! No way would they be allowed to take care of my child nor would they get my hard earned money! It is their JOB to try and help him with this transition! Not just give up especially after only 2 DAYS! Im sorry momma. But that ain’t how it’s suppose to go!

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Of course it’s up to them to reassure your child that is ridiculous they need to build trust with your child change the day care

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Work part-time and then ease him into being away full-time hours. He probably makes the other kids cry and that is hard to calm down that many

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I had an in home provider tell me the same thing when my son was seven months old. Told me he was crying too much and was too high maintenance for her. I was flabbergasted but I pulled him and found him somewhere else.

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2 days isn’t even long enough for a child to adjust to that kind of change, it sounds more like they don’t have the patience to even let him get used to it. I’d look into other places to send him

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I say look for another day care who is willing to work with you in your situation but upfront about it .

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That’s ridiculous. Every daycare provider should know it takes around 2 weeks for any child to adjust. I’d remove your child asap because that’s not a situation I’d want my child in.

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I work at a daycare and I am one of the lead teachers in our infant room. I have never heard of this before. I have a couple babies that cry all day long mostly is because they are tried and are blanket babies and they aren’t aloud to have it in the crib with them . My other one is because she just gets held all the time at home . But we have never told our parents that we couldn’t care for there child because of this. Sometimes when it becomes to much me and the other teacher switch rooms for a little bit just to give the other teacher a break or our boss and director will come in to let us take a break. But never have we stoped care for a crying infant

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Find another daycare. They’re not caring for little one the way they should. Your kids will always be the first to tell you when something is wrong. Listen even if they can’t speak.

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Did you transition him at all? Like, taking him into the center with you to tour it and then going home, the next day leaving him for an hour or two, increasing the time to 3 or 4 hours for a few days, etc until he was comfortable? I’ve never done daycare, but I can’t imagine just dropping my toddler off in a strange place for a full 8-10 hr work day and expecting everything to go well, especially if said child has never been in a care center. I know this suggestion may be untenable, but this is how I would approach day care if I were in your position. Also, try to talk about daycare in a positive manner, ie all of the friends he will make, the cool toys he can play with, exciting arts and crafts that he will do. Good luck!

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Only 2 days and they’re saying this?
I would be concerned. Daycares should be aware of the transition time. I can understand if it was 2 weeks but 2 days?

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As a former preschool and daycare teacher, that’s ridiculous. 2 days is not enough time for him to get used to it. I can understand it being frustrating for the teachers but it’s part of the job. We usually give it about 2-3 weeks and the kids would start to enjoy it and stop crying

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I’d find a different daycare

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Have you looked into switching daycares?

The age of the child may help people give a better response.

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Id look for someone else immediately. If someone makes any kind of comment like that about my child especially a baby that doesn’t know anything but to cry because they want their mamma and can’t say it with words. Nope hard telling what they’d do when im not around. I wouldn’t trust them anymore and id definately be saying something to the director about her choice of staff.

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I was a daycare teacher that worked hard with a girl who cried a lot for the first two months and never once did we tell the parents she couldn’t come, we just did what was needed to make it as comfortable for her as possible. However most kids are fine after the first two weeks. Two days is ridiculous, he’s still figuring out the routine, I’d find somewhere else to send him that can be patient with him in the first couple weeks and help him get comfortable being away from you.

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I’d suggest a different daycare.
But did YOU even try to transition him? Yes they are paid to take care of the kids. But if one crys 24/7 how are they supposed to focus on any of the other kids? They aren’t the main ones that need to make sure the baby/kid isn’t stressed by a new environment. Your blaming them for not being able to comfort the kid when you didn’t even try to get the baby used to being away from you for an hour or more at a time before just dropping him off with someone he doesn’t recognize.

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On day 2?! That is nowhere near enough time for a kid to get used to it. Honestly, I would find another daycare if I could. That would make me worry about how they handle my kid crying. Kind of a red flag for me.

Did you not bother to transition him properly? You should have done a gradual transition. Proper transitions look like this , first day leave him for an hour, second day 2-3 hours, third day 3-5 hours fourth and fifth 5-7 hours then transition should be complete. Young children thrown into a place where they do not know anyone and everything is different would be super stressful for them.

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Really, it depends on the age of the child. There’s a world of difference between an infant crying and a toddler. I would probably change daycares.

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Definitely switch daycares if you can. I started my son at a daycare when he was 3 months old. The provider would say almost everyday that he was crabby and cried a lot. Thankfully, we were able to find a new daycare. The new provider said that he is no crabbier than any other baby and was normally happy through out the day. He was happier at home after daycare too. He smiles and is happy during drop off at his new daycare and is thriving! I am so thankful we were able to find a daycare that he does much better at.

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I’d switch daycares. A professional daycare employee knows it takes more than 2 days fir a little one to adjust to a new setting! I was a head teacher in an infant room for 2 years. If I sent babies that didn’t adjust in just 48 away, we would have had no clients.

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It takes like 2 weeks for a child to be comfortable

Find a new daycare that knows what they’re doing.

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That is a huge chance for the kid , you should have started periodically so he has time to adapt to the new situation, two days is not enough for him to adapt , And I do understand what it may be for a teacher to focus on one crying kid when she has a room full of kids to look after .

Have you consider a sitter ? She can watch him at your place so he can feel more comfortable

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I’ve been a daycare teacher for 2 years - find another daycare!!! Minimum we give kids two weeks or so to adjust!

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Is this a company with a lead teacher, and many different people that work in each age group? I’m a daycare teacher and our kids are separated by age. (Nursery, 1s, 2s, and 3+) each age has different teachers. If this is this type of daycare my suggestion is to go to the head teacher/manager and express your concern of what the employee said.

If this is an at home daycare, I suggest finding a new one. The daycare I work at would never refuse a baby or child due to crying. It is our job to make them comfortable and be supportive while you’re away. :woman_shrugging:t2:

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As an infant educator, I highly suggest that you try and find a different daycare.

Never in my career have we ever given up on a child and tell a parent we can’t accept them because they have emotions.

It’s normal for children to cry a lot especially on day two. We always let parents know it takes a solid 2-3 weeks for a child to feel 100% comfortable with someone new (aka an educator especially because the parents aren’t around)
My heart breaks for your mama heart and your child. Daycare is a hard transition in general, let alone someone telling you they can’t do their job correctly and therefore your child can’t attend.

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It was 2 days when they said that? Jeez give the poor kid a chance. I don’t blame you for feeling that way and I’d start looking to switch now!

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I had the same problem however my teacher suggested I send in a photo of myself and she laminated it for him to have with him problem solved.

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I would switch daycares! It takes a few days for a child to adjust to a new place

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We had a daycare provider for my infant grandson. Constantly texted my daughter complaining baby was crying, not sleeping, etc, etc. she had done babysitting 25 years??

I would find a new daycare. That would red flag lack of empathy and patience to me. Not somewhere a child needs to be.

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That happened to my son

Find another daycare if they can’t handle crying they have no business being around kids

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I did child care 27 years! It takes time, patience and love! If they aren’t willing to do this change day cares!

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I have a two-week trial period at my In Home Daycare, which I try to give that much time for adjustments. If at any time, during the two-weeks or even beyond, I don’t feel it is a good fit I will terminate care.

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Pull your child immediately!! :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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I’d switch. They feel as if your child is a burden, that’s not where I’d want my kid. It takes time for a kid to get accustomed to new people and places. With an attitude like there’s, maybe be why he’s crying.

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I worked in daycares for about 5 years. You need to find a new daycare, not because you or your child did anything wrong, but because this one is trash. It is completely normal for a child to cry when entering daycare for the first time and it takes some children a while to adjust. They absolutely should NOT be threatening him being removed. A good teacher is aware that this is normal and has multiple techniques to help children adjust. Your baby has been there 2 days. 2 fucking days! That’s no time at all!

Find a job where you can take him with you if it bothers you that much, or find a remote job. problem solved.

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Find new daycare. I’ve done it for over 30 years. It happens especially if they’ve ne er been in care before. It’s called separation anxiety. I had one that cried for a month straight. Did it bother me, you bet it did. What I had the parent do is have the child bring in a sweater shirt and picture from home. It helped ease her fears. She would hand them to me when she was done and went to play with others. Then she would not bring them after awhile. It’s a new environment for them and yes it’s a big scary world for them. It takes time. Ant daycare provider should know that

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Find a new day care! They sound uncaring and inconsiderate. 

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I would just change daycares. Let’s remember there is 2 sides to a story.

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Usually kids will eventually play with the other kids after an hour or so. Sounds terrible for him.

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I don’t think they’re doing their job. If they were keeping him entertained he’d stop crying

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I have worked in childcare and had a little girl who was just like this for awhile but after about 2 weeks she got so much better. It’s so important for childcare centers and staff to be patient and understand the transition phase. Of course your child is going to be sad he’s used to being with you but that teacher is In the wrong In my opinion because adequate time is needed for the transition for your son and 2 days just isn’t long enough. Hang in there Mama❤️

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Adjusting takes more than 2 days! No, get a new daycare provider. If they are complaining on day 2, it won’t get better- because THEY are unwilling to make it better.

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Yes it is their job … he needs time to develop trust with them…if they are calling on day 2…that’s not the right fit for your boy

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Red flag all the way. Find a new daycare

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I would find a different daycare

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Get him outta there NOW!!! Find another

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Change daycare’s some hire inexperienced people who do not know what they are doing. I would recommend telling prospective daycare’s that your child is transitioning and having a hard time crying a lot and if they have resources to deal with this until the baby is over the hump. Good luck!

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Most daycares have a2 week adjustment period. The one I work at does. If after two weeks they are still crying at day or being violent and not listening then we disenroll them. However if parents are willing to help us work on it we will continue care as long as the teachers aren’t overwhelmed. And yes that is a thing.

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Get a new daycare, they obviously don’t care about kids to act like that

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Um, WHAT? I’ve been a preschool teacher for 8 years and have worked in all ages… I always tell my new parents that it takes roughly 2 weeks to get through the worst part, sometimes longer, which is completely normal. I’ve never heard that reasoning in my line of work. Absolutely find a new childcare facility. This is extremely unprofessional not to mention, very concerning.

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It takes weeks for some students. If they aren’t going to build a trusting relationship with the child, I would find a new center

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Patience is a virtue and I don’t think your day care has it. He’s not going to be settled after 2 days it can take weeks to a month maybe longer ever child is different. There is nothing wrong with him crying on day 2 or even day 20. They need to make him feel loved and comfortable and safe. Sorry you have to deal with that

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I’m going to go against the grain here and ask if it’s softly crying or a full on screaming tantrum for hours. Because no, they can’t handle that.

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Forget the daycare. Your child sounds miserable if they’re crying all day every day. Time for a new daycare

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This provider should be working with him

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The teacher is wrong…find a new daycare and express your concerns. Band ask ahead of time their policy about the crying issues…they should understand . .a good daycare would…watch and observe from afar for a half hour or so to see how they interact with the kids…then you’ll know

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I am guessing this child has never been away from mom. Not good to never leave your child for short periods of time and then just throw him to the wolves.

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What the f— poor kid has separation anxiety that is something they don’t just grow from. I am thinking that woman should not be in the daycare business if she does not know how the hell to calm down a child.

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My thing is wouldn’t you rather them say they can’t handle your child screaming all day and you need dif care than your child at risk for being abused? I don’t care what anyone says a daycare has the right to say your child is not a good fit for their facility. Just like parents have a right to say that a facility is not a good fit for their child. Every single daycare that I’ve been to has a two week adjustment period where either one of you can break the contract

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Every morning put on a necklace that he can have all day. One that really doesn’t mean much if you lose it. Put it on before you leave the house and give it to him at daycare. Let him know you will be seeing them both later.

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