I have a weird question. So, I was with my child’s father for three years. During these three years, he constantly told me I was doing stuff that reminded him of his ex. Just little things, like how I was doing my makeup or how I dressed. (We look very similar, so I couldn’t control that I looked like her). Anyways, I asked in the beginning what happened between them. He said, “she packed everything & left while I was at work. I don’t know why.” Then, later on, his story changed “she was cheating,” then it was “she didn’t like I had a crappy job & couldn’t afford expensive stuff.” Now its something else… My question is, is it weird that I want to ask her what happened?
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Oh I’d definitely ask. He apparently can’t keep his story straight and you deserve to know. If you are still with him that is.
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His ex shouldn’t be a factor in your relationship. Leave it alone.
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Sounds to me he is stuck on her and is making excuses for why they aren’t together…
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I asked my husbands ex wife… just because I wanted to know her side.
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If you feel the need to ask her you need to re-evaluate your relationship
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Not weird at all just ask her!
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If y’all aren’t together why does it matter:joy:
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What’s the matter with him. No wonder she left him
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You should have before you married him!
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I’d ask… I always ask the ex what happened cause I’ve been labeled the crazy ex before and it’s always fair to know both sides… Once I found out I was dating a sociopath with a fake identity his ex wife #4 found me because I was about to be wife #7… And warned me of his true identity and I background check everyone now and talk to their family friends and ex’s… I might have trust issues but you can never be too careful
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He’s insecure about you dressing up to go or do someone else! He’s comparing you to her because that’s what happened when she left she would get dressed up and go cheat. Talk to him about it it’s his way of dealing. Have him explain everything to you and let him know that you may wanna seek her side of the story since he keeps comparing. But he’s scared you’re gonna do the same. So just talk to him he has a lot he is holding inside. He will feel better and let him know what your intentions are. If you care enough to know just ask. What’s the worst that can happen. Guys that were burned by a chick will always hold that in their heart when then meet or start with someone knew. He needs to work on some self issues!! Hood luck.
So you’re not with him anymore?? What difference does it make? It’s weird that you stayed and had kids with him, but I wouldn’t be the psycho girlfriend bothering her about it. He obviously can’t keep his story straight about her so?
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He was attracted to you because you reminded him of her. He also hates you because his fantasy didn’t work and (I bet) she’s moved on and has a happy life without him. Don’t bother asking her, he will accuse you of going behind his back.
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Curiosity killed the cat!
Unless you feel he’s up to no good and your trust isn’t there. I would leave it alone.
I guess its normal to have the curiosity to want to know ? 
but it might backfire if u ask. Lots of girls will use it to their advantage and laugh at you for asking. Sooo ?
He’s playing the victim and he’s triangulating you with the ex. It’s a form of manipulation. Run.
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Nah I’m sure it’s a combination of what hes told you and his explanation… she wasnt happy in the relationship (probably fought over finances) and cheated on him then one day while he was at work she packed up and left. That’s what it sounds like to me. I wouldn’t ask why be stuck on the past instead of moving on to the future?
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Whatever happened between them shouldn’t be an issue anymore. He needs to stop talking about her, and u need to stop asking questions. Shes an ex for a reason, just leave her in the past, focus on the present, and look towards to future.
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You would have a better chance at the truth is you asked her. You will find out why she was “crazy”
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Asking her isnt a big deal at this point. It does NOT make you look crazy or psycho. It will satisfy your curiosity.
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I would ask and you’ll most likely hear a completely different story
Nah. Curiosity. But those were some red flags.
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No it’s not weird that you want to know. But if you do ask, it’s a road that can’t be untraveled. So he might break up with you if he finds out you asked her.
Weird to me story keeps changing, makes me suspect he makes up things spur of the moment then forgets- that would drive me nuts. But if relationship is over just let it go it’s a moot point now BUT if in his dad relationship I would check out his excuses reasons when appropriate because it impacts both you and your child
It sounds like he’s not the person for you, or anyone, the way he’s being
Ask away! You obviously we’re not the reason they broke up she’ll be probably more than willing to share
Run,run fast!!!. Thats all you well hear from him as long you keep seen him.
You ‘wrote WAS’ with him for 3 years. If not with him now I wouldn’t bother. I think he started a relationship with you because you do remind him of her. I believe my husband was with me cause I had characteristics of his mother. I was nothing like her though. Since he compares you tell him you are going to see if you can meet with her to find out more about what to avoid? Ya know so he will be happier. Going behind his back might cause issues.
Why would it matter that was the past" move on in the present you said ex are you still even together our did you mean he’s ex
Maybe when he says you at times remind him of her he still feels hurt in that relationship and he needs to get over the past. It can just bring hurt on both of you. Live for each other now in the present.
That’s not your relationship or your business that’s the past . What is going on kinda annoying to have him say that. I’d ask him to stop and explain it makes you uncomfortable and you dont like it. I can understand being hurt by his foolish behavior just ask him to stop and how you feel I’m sure he never thought of it like that he most likely will apologize…guys can be pretty dumb about stuff.
Sounds like he fucked her over, she left him, and he found the next closest thing to her. Sorry girl
Why they split matters none to you. I would be more annoyed about the constant comparisons, but it sounds like you two arent together anymore anyway. Just move on.
If you were still together and this was an on going, unresolved issue between the 2 of you then I’d say yes, ask her for whatever info you feel like you need. However, given you’re not together anymore, it’s not really any of your business and I’d leave it alone.
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People can have different perspectives of the same set of events. Also time can change those perspectives and so can new information or revelations about old information. I would not ask her. I would not bring his past into your present.
In regards to you reminding him of his ex- he probably has a type (as many of us do). He is probably just afraid that you will leave him to and might be looking for reassurance that you won’t leave like she did.
I would find it weird. It’s over. He’s your ex, she’s his ex, leave it alone. It’s not your business. Misery loves company.
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I would not want to be compared to someones ex. He obviously isnt over her . there is still junk in the trunk . he isnt ready to resume a new relationship . move on or give him the time he needs to heal . if he was over her . he would not even think of the ways you might resemble. Her . she would be history . yesterdays news.
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Best thing to do is Pray and Ask God to control your situation and let it be .Have faith!
Yea kinda odd, it’s the past leave it their and keep reminding him that you are nit her and that he should also learn to leave her in the past. Sounds like to me that he’s not over her. I would be ok with my hubby telling me he rinded me of his ex. That’s not a compliment…
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Honestly the fact that his story keeps changing makes me think that she left because of something he was doing or wasn’t doing. He just doesn’t want to look like the bad guy in the situation. But he might not have been happy either so who knows.
As for asking his ex… If y’all have a good relationship and he treats you like the queen you are then just leave it alone. Talking to his ex about it could back fire on you if he finds out. Because then he’s going to be mad that you didn’t trust him and went to her. Maybe just sit him down and say something like this “Baby I love you no matter what. Your past is your past just like my past is mine. But this is truly really bothering me because your story continues to change. Please tell me what really happened.”
Also men love to be praised, so if you praise him all day long for all the good things he does before you ask him it might work out better.
All that said…honey if you truly love him just let it go. Leave the past in the past and only look forward!
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I think the ex left him because of something HE did. He just doesn’t want to admit that. And I think he hooked up with the current girlfriend because she reminds him of his ex and he’s not over her yet.
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If you love him what does it matter. Is he good to you? Leave it alone. She may tell him to contacted her and he will feel like you don’t trust him
I would ask her cuz it seems like you can’t get a straight answer out of him… may be something simple or major… but it would weigh heavy in me not knowing personally
I’d ask…because he shouldn’t be comparing you in the first place and it sounds like he has something to hide.
Not at all! I did that before & found out he was a habitual narcissistic cheater, not her & it was true!!
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There is definitely something weird going on! I don’t think he married you, I think he married a lookalike x! Run!
If his stories are changing I’d ask . Wish I had searched harder😐
Don’t ask questions if you are not prepared for the answer. You go looking for dirt and you may find it.
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One, my question would be, why did you get with me? Is it because I remind you of her? Next, not that you want to get in their business, but why did they really break up? He has told you several different things. You need to find out the truth for you because you do want to deal with the nonsense. You are only getting his side of the story. The is also her side. The truth will be somewhere in the middle of the two sides
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What makes you think she’ll be honest too? Probably his embarrassed for something his ex did to him and don’t want to tell you because you know men eggo? and probably she did something messed up to him that she wouldn’t tell you either
2 sides to every story
Sounds like a bad relationship for you. No openness and honesty… I’d get couples counseling. If he keeps bringing her up though, he wants her, not you.
You should ask if you can. You need to make sure your kid isn’t in danger when he/she is there. I had an ex that made all the girls before me sound completely awful. Turns out he was an abusive, narcissistic, piece of shit. As a mom it’s up to you to keep your kid safe.
Who the heck cares? He’s with you now! If you ask her, she’ll tell him, and you’ll look like a jealous psycho. To me, that’s totally insecure.
If y’all ain’t together anymore then it really shouldn’t matter. Should’ve told him to stop comparing you to his ex though. That’s just weird.
Sounds like asking her is the only way you will get to the real truth about what actually happened.
You need to let the past go and learn from it. Dont ever get with a man like this again. You deserve so much better. Someone who will make you feel so special and important. Continue to focus on yourself and bettering yourself and the right one will come along
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I would. I have. But understand that what she says or closer you might get from it, even if you want to stay afterwards, it will feel like a huge betrayal of trust to him. So be ready for the fallout.
I had something like this similar happen to me. My sons father had a baby mama in high school and hed often say I looked like her and at one point he even said he liked that I looked like her because it was like “a second chance for him” but he would never tell me what happened between them except “she cheated on me” I got curious after a while since he was starting acting shady and asked her what happened. Turns out he cheated on her and accused her of cheating when she didn’t and did a bunch of horrible things to her like push her out a car and threaten suicide.
If ima be honest it sounds like he has a lot of guilt and he sought you out because you look like her. Chances are he sabotaged the relationship or cheated on her and just cant admit it to himself yet.
If he has inconsistencies then you need the real tea Girl. I say inquiring with the ex is imperative
I say its always good to have both sides of the story. Even if it is just to settle your mind that you weren’t doing anything “wrong” … I’m that way
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Why does it matter if you’re not longer with him? You should of been curious when you were together. Not now.
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It would be my business if the person I was with kept saying I reminded him of his ex. Obviously he was stuck on her. I wouldn’t have stayed as long as you did…, and I would have gotten her side of why they weren’t together. His side were lies.
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Shes most likely moved on with her life and has things to do ion think shed want to be asked bout an ex trust me
I think it’s weird he compares you. You shouldn’t care about his pay relationship and neither should he.
If you’re not with him anymore, just let it go. No good will come from talking to the girl
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I’d ask her. His story keeps changing, so he might be hiding something
Is it really any of your business though?
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No its not he seen to lie he will cheat
It didn’t bother you enough when you had a child while with him so why should it matter now that you’re not with him anymore? Shoulda squashed that a long time ago.
If it will make you feel better then do it. My ex was a narcissist. I reached out and discovered that he had the same pattern with all his other gfs. It helped me realize it wasn’t me and figure out what he was. I had never been with a narcissist so it can really duck you up. So if you think it will help you move on then do it. But if it’s a maybe we could get back together inquiry I wouldn’t. He sounds like a douche.
Why would he even say this to you. God men are stupid.
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