Ask him. Tell him you noticed& why is he doing that.
Sounds like he’s keeping you a secret for a reason maybe he’s still seeing the ex or like everyone else says he could be doing it bc of the ex bc of the kids ask him why he does it that ay you can figure out what to do
Pda isnt for kids to see
How about ask him and not Facebook
He doesn’t want his bm to know , cuz he still wants her
Idk. To me I do feel its a bit weird that he does it in front of yours and not his. That sounds slightly shady. Unless they just met you and he has known yours for a while maybe? Idk.
He ain’t ready to tell baby momma he’s seeing someone, he dont want the kids to snitch!
Let’s be real. He would have a totally different bond with his own kids. If you’ve shown him affection around your own kids, then perhaps he feels like that’s the go ahead for that. I think its commendable that he is holding off in front of his own. I wish more dads and moms did that. As single parents that are dating, I think boundaries should be put in place around the children until things a VERY serious.
You could just ask him though. Talk about it. Figure out both of your comfort levels and then move forward in your relationship. Good luck in your new love interest
Your kids=your choice.
His kids=his choice.
Just bc you are comfortable with things in your kids presence doesnt mean he is ok with his kids seeing it.
His kids might be sensative some. Children are more so then others talk to him how u feel might be nothing but might be just because it’s best for his kids at the minit
Talk to him first about it, don’t make assumptions. Maybe his BM and him aren’t on good terms, maybe he didn’t have the talk with his kids… just go slow and be patient. Kids are involved and it can be scary
Not weird. He’s being respectful of his children and their feelings.
Talk to him about it. Best way to get everything out on the table with concerns, solutions and expectations is to simple talk to your spouse.
And… what’s the problem?
talk to him about it, not a bunch of strangers on Facebook.
He’s protecting his kids… therelationship is new
Red Flag!! Dump his a$$ Now
COMMUNICATION!! 90% of all our problems can be solved with the right kind!
maybe the baby mom is a overbearing controlling b*tch. that is being petty and is saying no kids if he has a gf…
oh wait. baby moms are allowed to be petty b*itches, i forgot
Talk to him about it.
Talk to him. Express how u feel. Tell him wat u told us.
Tell him and see what he says
Talk to him. Simple.
Talk to him. He may not realize he is doing it.
Maybe he’s worried about the mother of his children causing drama? It could be a number of things. The best thing to do is talk to him. Make sure you don’t get defensive, just ask him why he does things differently around his children. Communication is the biggest thing in a relationship.
He’s doing it because you’ve allowed it.
Stop, tell him you don’t feel right infront of your children and both sets of kids will see the same thing whether that’s pda or not.
He could be trying to ease his kids in and god only knows what kind of baby mama he has. She may freak out if he does anything like that with you
Just be patient. His kids might just be used to their oarents being together. Could be weird to them. They’ll come around!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. The guy I am dating doesn't show me affection in front of his kids: Advice? - Mamas Uncut
Hes probably just not comfortable yet and doesnt want his kids to be uncomfortable. I wouldnt take it personal. And dont push it. Since it’s all new he just needs some time to make sure his kids are ready
I mean, instead of asking us, and we all just assume a bunch of different scenarios to get you all whipped into a frenzy…you could just ask your partner why he does it, or if he notices he does?
#communicationiskey
#howsastrangergonnaknow
#commonsense
If this is a new relationship it’s perfectly normal. I’ve had this same situation. I didn’t introduce my partner to the kids until we had been seeing each other for a while and even then there was no pdas in front of the kids for a long time. Maybe he just wants to make sure his kids are comfortable around you first.
New relationship? Normal, I didn’t with my husband at first because I didn’t want my kids to get excited or attached before I knew it was serious, we were together almost a year before I let my kids know anything. It may also be a request from the children’s mother…my ex brought all kinds of people around our kids and they were so confused so I asked that he keep things slow around the kids till he knew it was serious so the kids didn’t get attached and they that person was gone. It’s hard on kids, just be patient, hes being a good dad.
i never let my kids meet anyone I was seeing, unless i thought it was really going anywhere. So just maybe he just wants to make sure your relationship will go further, So that I can’t blame him, nor should you, Just take one day at a time
Communicate your feelings to him. Healthy Communication is key in any relationship.
How long have you been dating him? How long has he been broken up with the mother of his kids and has he dated alot or just you? Maybe his kids are a reason he is holding back they might get freaked out. ? Or uncomfortable. Maybe he doesn’t have those thoughts about your kids
Talk to him but he may be just setting his boundaries around his kids. If you allowed him to show affection around your kids then that was your choice but he may not be ready to show in front of his children yet.
I wouldnt worry just yet. Maybe hes just trying to go slow in front of his kids because he and or his kids may not be ready for that just yet. Maybe he doesnt want his kids thinking he is replacimg their mother. But dont push him. Let him go at his own pace. I think this is okay
This is something you should be discussing with him. Not in an accusing way, but in a loving open discussion.
In some states if he is separated he cannot have a new girlfriend or have physical relationships until he is legally divorced. Could be extremely detrimental to the process
A more important issue, IMHO, would be to stop thinking of and referring to the kids as “MY children” or “HIS children.” The PDA is only as important as you make it.
He’s taking it slow for his kids. Be patient…
How long have you been dating?
Communication . just ask him n talk to him about it
I’d think maybe he’s worried how the kids mom would react if they brought something like that up
Discuss boundaries and comfort zones, reach an agreement surrounding yourselves and the children. Personally I’d be selfish as much as possibly with the guy I’m dating, being discreet and not demonstrate displays of affection in front of the children, because I can’t give the relationship a label to my children for certain…unless I am sure and that he is certain we are in fact doing the long mile and playing for keeps. I think if he has been around actively for the next six months to a year, then your issue is valid to question him about…but if you both are saying this relationship has only been new for a month, wait two months. And play his card, by saying no to his pda in front of your kids. If he questions that, then you can explain you thought it best because that’s how he treats you at his home with pda. You dumb it down to protecting your kids, but not wanting to make an error concerning him cause your not sure what you or he really wants in this relationship as yet. Believe me, with my experience with single dads…they don’t want to give their kids wrong ideas, wrong hopes or heartbreaks…so they take longer with their kids to adjust and build up to those Pda with their own kids around. So be patient and be selfish with him, enjoy you both, before adding the kids and forging relationships with them
I would say have your and his kid together a couple times and see what happens at that time
Talk to him about it because if he feels it’s okay to do it around your kids he should do it around his too it’s not okay to do one and not the other
I don’t think it’s weird - if it’s a newer relationship, he wants to move slowly in front of his own kids. If he got the cues that you aren’t like that with yours, he’s taken your lead on it. Take his lead with his kids. I wouldn’t show affection or even introduce with mine until we were serious.
Could be a number of reasons. Is he newly divorced? Or he doesn’t see a future with you.
If he can’t show you inf
Maybe he doesn’t want his kids to think he’s replacing their mother. Maybe he wants his kids to be comfortable around you until he shows affection in front of them.
His ex is probably a bad one
My “boyfriend” of 7 years was like that. Come to find out nowadays… He told me 2 nights ago i was just supposed to be a rebound. Like thanks. That explains the lack of affection, and the way he treats me/talks to me.
Just do it to him when your kiddos are around he’ll either notice or not. Of he doesn’t it may not be intentional.
If he continues just ask the man.
Set your boundaries and make them clear instead of just in your . He’s not a mind reader.
Tell him how you feel… Communicate
You made it ok to do in front of your kids or you would “move away” Or “not show any affection”
He’s doing what he thinks is best for his kids. You’re doing what you think is best…,
I think this is smart. There’s obviously a reason you both decided to keep things discreet in front of his kids, you seem like you don’t mind affection in front of the kids at this point, so he’s just accommodating that and doing it in front of your kids, because he isn’t ready to do so in front of his. Pretty simple. He is doing what he thinks is best for his kids and you are doing what you think is best for yours, since you don’t mind affection in front of your kids he’s following your lead and ok with that and doing so now. I am not sure I am understanding what the issue here is? Ask him when he’ll be ready to stop hiding your relationship in front of his kids? Ask yourself why you both decided to hide it in the 1st place, is that issue resolved or still ongoing?
instead of asking our partners things or just talking with them about our issues, we ask strangers on fb for advice? ok then…
I agree with the bf. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but besides a small peck, anything else should be kept behind closed doors
Well he’s prolly just trying to ease his kids into the new relationship. How long has it been since he split from their mom? Has he had any other relationships with someone before you but after their mom? These are important questions. If it’s the first one since the mom, just be patient. He will warm up and so will the kids.
I wouldn’t be all over some guy that I just started dating in front of my kids. I would wait quite some time before showing affection. I think he’s a good dad for being that way.
Hes allowed to do so. Knock it off. Hes respecting his children grow up
Okay I’m also new to dating and introducing my kids to someone new. We didn’t rush into the introduction process so it was awkward moving backwards. I met his kids first. He is a widower. I spent a great deal of time with his kids before he met my kids. We sit close and hold hands in front of his kids. We don’t in front of my kids. My kids have also had a different experienced with their father and it was upsetting, so we have been extra careful with their feelings. My kids have spent zero time with just me and him and my kids simply because he has no place for his kids to go. We did communicate about all of this from the beginning. It wasn’t an easy conversation. It has been a SLOW process. We have just started having all the kids together. We each prepared our own kids, as best as we could, for these few interactions. Being with a new person again isn’t easy. I wouldn’t jump to any conclusions. I would simply communicate and do what feels best. It’s not easy! People get nervous and overwhelmed. I went from a family of 2 biological and 1 fostering to the possibility of 3 more. He went from all teens to my 2 teens and my foster that is 2.5! It’s A LOT!
Ask him. You don’t have to be confrontational to speak on it, but don’t let communication lag now or he’ll wonder why you have so much to say later, lol
Ask him why? You’ll get your question answered. Communication is key in all relationships. You’ll know if he is being honest or not. Don’t let your feelings buildup, if something bothers you tell him. If he dismisses your feelings then you know what you need to do.
Perhaps you better step back far enough to save your pride and dignity.
Communicate, ask why and ask for consistency. Set boundries.
I have so much respect for parents who take things slow with new partners. Putting kids first is how it should be!
Orrr maybe, just maybe… set your own boundaries for your own children and stop conflating the two. He’s uncomfortable around his kids most likely because he doesn’t have them full time and it’s not the same situation as yours. But if he’s comfortable w it around your kids, it’s because YOU made him feel comfortable to do so and do not thwart his attempts at doing so. If you made it clear, whether verbally or w body language that you, too, were uncomfortable showing affection in front of your children, and he continued, then I could see the problem. But just because you allow him around your children in that capacity does not give you in any right to push your PDA on his kids.
Find yourself a childless boyfriend. When and how he shows affection to his partner in front of HIS children is HIS choice and HIS decision, not yours. Sounds to me like, considering this is a “newer relationship” that he’s a good, conscientious dad, being careful to not force anything on his children, especially while he’s still figuring out if this relationship will be long term. You sound selfish and immature.
His kids and his choice. If you don’t feel comfortable showing affection say something. Personally I think people should hold off including the kids in new relationships.
He doesn’t want baby mumma to find out
Talk to him. That’s what I would do
Just ask him. I wouldn’t snuggle with anybody in front of my kids until I knew this relationship was real and I had s private talk with my kids about this person.