So there’s something that’s been on my mind that I really need unbiased opinions on.
I’m considering cutting my birth mother out of my life again.
Backstory: growing up my mother and the dad of my youngest 2 siblings were extremely abusive, mentally, emotionally, physically, verbally and my step dad was sexually abusive to me (29f now). It all really started when I was 6years old. I don’t know exactly when it was that she figured out he was sexually abusing me but remember around the age of 12 she would constantly threaten to take me to the hospital to have me checked out, but as soon as she’d get me in the car he would do what she wanted and she would send me back into the house.
I was put into foster care at the age of 15 along with 3 of my other siblings. Their parental rights were terminated and we didn’t see them again for a long time.
My mother reached out to me once I graduated high school and I tried to let her back into my life but she wouldn’t accept blame for what happened/what she allowed to happen and would always blame it on something/someone else. I cut her back out of my life for a while but through other family members she always managed to find out what was going on in my life.
In 2019 I found out I was pregnant with a baby girl, she was born in 2020. My mother found out and begged to be apart of her life. At first I said absolutely not. A friend pointed out that I was keeping my daughter from getting to know her grandmother and that she might have been a horrible mother but that she might be a good grandmother. Eventually I caved and have let her be apart of her life under very strict rules.
So far she has behaved and followed my rules and I feel bad considering this but it gives me so much anxiety having her in my life. She’s only met my daughter once just recently, so it’s not like my daughter actually knows her.
What would y’all do? I’m so lost