I have been seeing this guy for about 6 months now. There is a big age difference (me being older). He was in a relationship not long before we started dating. We’ve known each other for anout a year now as we work together. He said he broke up with her to be with me etc… Nothing every happened when they were together, not even flirting on my side as I never thought we could be anything since he was in a relationship. Anyway, backstory done!
He told me he loved me about 2 months into us dating and said he has felt strongly for me for months hence why he broke up with her. He says he wants a future with me, talks about kids a house the whole lot. I have a child and they have met a few times and they get on really well. He took me away for a couple of nights and paid for everything and does treat me very often to things whic is lovely. We see each other frequently at least 2x a week outside of work and maybe work one shift together in work.
The thing is, he hasn’t told his mum about me and hasn’t made anything official with me yet. He lied to her about who he was going away for a couple of nights with, and hasn’t mentioned us being “bf/gf”. We have banter all the time and we were just making fun of each other and talking about ex’s etc just joking around. I said something about his first ex being his favourite (as a joke) and he said “well we were going out. We’re not.” and then later that night made another remark about us not actually being together. Have to say that that really hurt me, he says he is going to ask me very soon. He said that about 2 or 3 months ago too… Says he is waiting for the right time, but that doesn’t seem to come. I’m worried that I’m being strung along when he doesn’t know what he wants even though we do act like bf and gf. I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years so this is my first in a long time. I think I may be acting a little immature here, but at the same time I don’t want to commit myself to someone who isn’t willing to officially commit to me. Cause as he said “were not going out”. I have a child to also think of and as much as I want something more to happen I’m afraid he will use the not going out argument for breaking off with me out of the blue. Am I being silly here I need to know. Why would he be so afraid to tell his fam about me if he feels so strongly about me?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. This may be silly, but it's starting to annoy me a little too much
When someone shows you how they feel about you, pay attention.
He’s not ready for a commitment, but you are. You have two options, wait it out or leave. There’s nothing u can do to make him be ready sooner.
Based off everything you’ve presented, I personally don’t think you’re immature. He sounds like he is stringing you along. I don’t know what his angle is, other than my gut says that he is keeping his options open. If you two aren’t dating in his eyes, he could technically date someone else if the opportunity arises. I would share with him how you feel and if he doesn’t make it official then I would dump him. There is literally no commitment in saying that you’re dating. It’s not like you’re getting engaged or getting married. Good luck with this! And I’m sorry if it doesn’t work out 
Actions speak louder than words. He can talk the talk all he wants, but until he does something about it, talk is all it is. Are you sure he broke up with her and not the other way around? It sounds like maybe a rebound situation going on and that’s why he isn’t committing, he doesn’t want to tell her or his family as he knows he’s not in it for the long haul. Either way, he’s had every opportunity to show you how he feels by now and if truly wanted to, he would.
A man, regardless of age, will “mark his territory” so no one else tries to get it. If he really wanted you all for himself he would make it known to everyone. Steve Harvey talked about it look it up it puts so much info to light on males in general!
He’s probably still with the other girl…
You sound like the secret girlfriend my partner had 
he was still with me the whole time x
If he said y’all aren’t going out then you’re free to go out with someone else. Treat it as a casual fling if that’s what he’s telling you it is to him. Or if that’s not what you want break it off so as to not allow yourself to be strung along.
Who tells someone they’re going to ask them out soon? Sounds like he’s feeding you crumbs so you don’t go anywhere.
Um he broke up with the ex to be with you but he’s not technically with you. Make this make sense.
Sounds like he’s telling you what he thinks you want to hear but yet in his mind your not committed so that’s making him feel better about his actions when you are not together. And he sounds immature not you. Probably in his 20’s so get rid of that he’s certainly stringing you along 
The last time someone said I’m not ready to be gf and bf I was about 6. Tell him to grow up and you have more respect for yourself and more importantly your child
It may simply be his mother will tell him he is moving too fast. I told my son that more than once. Why he is twice divorced. He would do better to slow it down a bit, get to know the woman before jumping in so hard.
How I go off of every relationship, especially with males, is “if they want too, they will”.
If a man wants you, he’s not gonna wait.
He will do what he has to do to have you.
And I personally wouldn’t wait around for anything less. Because you deserve that and then some.
You deserve someone who’s gonna give you what you will give.
And if he’s not ready to do that, then leave.
This whole thing seems a little immature…he sounds like a little school boy and you seem caught up in the young feeling…not being rude, I understand it’s been 3 years since your last relationship. But yes, you do have a child to think about, and if a man wants to he will. If he wants people to know y’all are together, then he would tell people. Just be sure you aren’t the side chick.
He is stringing you along. Adults don’t ask “will you be my girlfriend” or plan to ask that. It happens naturally and one day you have a conversation and decide yeah, we’re together now.
Stop giving out the milk. Hes probably still got a girl and momma probably likes her.
Who waits to simply ask somebody out? That right there should have been a red flag. The only thing should be waiting on us to ask you to marry him, not to be his girlfriend. The other red flag was that he told you he loved you 2 months into the relationship.
My guess…It’s not his mom on the other end of that interaction…it’s his GF … …
You have a child to think of? Then why would you introduce someone to your child when you aren’t even in a relationship with him? And don’t know if you want to commit to him? Women really need to learn that their children don’t need to meet the men they screw around with. Once you’re official and been together at least a year or more, then slowly introduce your kids.
Actions speak louder than words.
Are you sure he broke up with his girlfriend?
I mean he could still be with her and that’s why he’s keeping you a secret. 
For the life of me, I can’t figure out why he ALLEGEDLY broke up with his girlfriend if nothing was happening with you while they were together. That just seems odd. 
But any who, IMO, you’re being played.
I’d drop him. Either commit or no. There are no games.
Yeah not telling his family about you should tell you A LOT.
Personally i would drop that man, if he broke up with his girlfriend for you what’s to say he won’t do the same to you when he meets someone else. That right there would have been the first red flag for me:triangular_flag_on_post:
Why are you wasting your time and effort with this loser- yes I said loser. Bjhow long are you gonna let him string you along when he already said y’all weren’t going out!!!got loser written all over him- get out and dump him before you wind up preform!! Move along sweetie, this loser ain’t for you !!! N
It doesnt matter whether he’s not ready, he’s stringing you along, or if he’s afraid his family will have coug-anoia at your age difference, you guys are in different places in life and you need to avoid this kinda crap and protect your childs feelings of attachment and your heart
Do not let him into ur child’s life… he is not committed… just play along with the fun times and see it for what it is… I would not put my expectations on that man… if ur having fun and he is treating u nicely then enjoy the moment… dont put to much pressure on the relationship… as he obviously hasn’t the balls to come out and say it how it is in his eyes… if u want an answer either way … ask him out right… u will know then
Talk to him. Communication is the key to a good relationship.
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Sounds like he still has a girlfriend
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Drop him. I was in a similar situation. He was going tbrough his divorce (we met after they were separated and papers were being drawn up). I understood why he kept me a secret at first since we didn’t want his ex to know and drag out the process. 5 months into it, it was official and he still didn’t say anything to anyone! He never told anyone about me for the 9 months we were going out. And he even did claim me as his girlfriend. Eventually he broke up with me but I wish I had left him a long time before because he just strung me along and I hate myself for letting it happen
I wouldnt stay with someone who hasn’t told his family you’re together. My biggest concern tho is your child building a relationship with this guy & he leaves. I wouldnt wait too much longer
He isn’t willing to commit to you because he’s still with another girl. If he loved you, you’d be exclusive. You’re a side piece. He knows you won’t give him what he wants if you know he’s in a relationship with someone else so he’s lying to you. You’re being used.
Get out. He’s either seeing someone else or playing you.
Stop putting out until you are in a commited relationship for one. He is playing you until the next thing comes along if he really wanted to be with you as a couple he would have made it official by now.
He wants the benefits without a relationship
Stop bringing men that you are not in a long term relationship with around your kid.
It’s friends with benefits that’s what it sounds like
I’m not sure how old the two of you are, but I’m assuming both adults. There is no -we are or aren’t going out- if you’re seeing this person, that’s what it is. You’re dating. That’s a relationship. If you’re sleeping together, doing things together, he’s met your child AND is saying I love you… that. is. a. relationship. With that being said… the only kind of people who do all of that stuff and still say “we’re not together” are the kind of people who want you committed to them but don’t want to be committed to you in return! Have an adult conversation about it with him. Make it official or move on because it really sounds like he’s immature and playing games.
Cuz he never left the girlfriend.
Your not wrong hes playing with you open your eyes and put that man in his place
Red flags! Get tf out.
Brenda Larson said it above. After reading what you posted I get the same feeling. Better to be single, than be used. Bounce girl 
Get out of this so called relationship! He’s playing you!
He sounds very unstable. I’d leave