I have been seeing this guy for about 6 months now. There is a big age difference (me being older). He was in a relationship not long before we started dating. We’ve known each other for anout a year now as we work together. He said he broke up with her to be with me etc… Nothing every happened when they were together, not even flirting on my side as I never thought we could be anything since he was in a relationship. Anyway, backstory done!
He told me he loved me about 2 months into us dating and said he has felt strongly for me for months hence why he broke up with her. He says he wants a future with me, talks about kids a house the whole lot. I have a child and they have met a few times and they get on really well. He took me away for a couple of nights and paid for everything and does treat me very often to things whic is lovely. We see each other frequently at least 2x a week outside of work and maybe work one shift together in work.
The thing is, he hasn’t told his mum about me and hasn’t made anything official with me yet. He lied to her about who he was going away for a couple of nights with, and hasn’t mentioned us being “bf/gf”. We have banter all the time and we were just making fun of each other and talking about ex’s etc just joking around. I said something about his first ex being his favourite (as a joke) and he said “well we were going out. We’re not.” and then later that night made another remark about us not actually being together. Have to say that that really hurt me, he says he is going to ask me very soon. He said that about 2 or 3 months ago too… Says he is waiting for the right time, but that doesn’t seem to come. I’m worried that I’m being strung along when he doesn’t know what he wants even though we do act like bf and gf. I haven’t been with anyone in 3 years so this is my first in a long time. I think I may be acting a little immature here, but at the same time I don’t want to commit myself to someone who isn’t willing to officially commit to me. Cause as he said “were not going out”. I have a child to also think of and as much as I want something more to happen I’m afraid he will use the not going out argument for breaking off with me out of the blue. Am I being silly here I need to know. Why would he be so afraid to tell his fam about me if he feels so strongly about me?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. This may be silly, but it's starting to annoy me a little too much
Honestly seems like he isn’t serious about you. Not willing to commit, but claiming he sees a future with you and wants a family. Red flag. Lying to family about you. Red flag. The remarks he’s making. Red flag.
We’re not in Kindergarten anymore my love. This isn’t “if you love me, check yes or no?” Type of situation. Careers are at stake as well as your child’s emotional health. It’s quite simple, you walk up to him, text him or however you communicate and say “I need to clarify something, are we dating? If so is this a monogamous relationship? Because I am a single mother and my time is precious, because every minute I spend with someone else is a minute I could be spending with my child and if you aren’t looking for a committed relationship, then please don’t waste my time.”
My husband asked me to be official right away because i had informed him that if im not in a relationship that means im free to see other people as well. He wanted me all to himself. A man will let you know if he wants you, the fact that he says he wants to make it official but DOESNT says he is playing games. If he wanted you to be his he would make sure no one else could snatch you up
Girl tell him byyyeeeee also in the future don’t choose a guy you work with cause that’s gonna be an odd situation
Telling you he loves you after two months is a 
. I think you’re there for him just for a good time. Sorry hunny. You’re not being immature he is. And if you want answers ask him straight to his face.
With him saying y’all are not a couple I get the idea that he is seeing someone else and not wanting to commit to you because that would be cheating. He seems to be acting a little childish to me since y’all act like a couple but he is saying y’all are not a couple.
Don’t let him string you along or play games with you. Be up front and blunt with him and ask him are y’all dating or not. Make boundaries for yourself.
I would tell him you don’t have time for games or to be lead on and you have to put your child and yourself first here. That if it isn’t going to be a commitment on both ends that you are going to have to end whatever it is he thinks this is and find a man that will devote his time and efforts to you and your child. He sounds really immature and maybe like he’s trying to keep his options open here…something doesn’t sit well with me in this despite the lovely things he gets for you and such. Its just a way to keep reeling you in for lack of actually labeling your relationship. I’d end it and find a more mature guy.
He loves you but has to schedule asking you out? Love you are being taking for a ride … He isn’t going to tell his mum due to the fact it isn’t serious, You’re just easy (to him, I don’t mean generally) he’s getting everything he wants without any commitments and you’ve allowed it. I think you need to let him go and find something genuinely real.
Raise the bar… the fact you are allowing this to go on for months let’s him know he can do it… tell him he’s with you or not and you want a decision now… you can’t play games you have a child and relationships can cause issues with children… a real man wouldn’t care about telling his parents I’m older then my man and have kids and he told them right away even being a Christian family and all that
“You cant be faithful in a relationship by yourself”… If yall arent together then you’re single so BE SINGLE…DATE thats what single people do they date they get to know people… LIVE YOUR LIFE… “dating” isn’t a committed relationship…
Guys will toy with a woman until a woman puts them in their place.
My bf asked me to go on a date with him. Begged me to give him a chance. He immediately told his family.
My ex bf when we were friends and casually dating he immediately introduced me to his mom. But he didn’t do that with the girl he is currently seeing or the girls before me.
Guys who are truly interested will introduce you to their friends and family. Guys that don’t. Tend to plan on leaving you eventually
He was saying everything you wanted to hear 
so he could get into your pants. Hard to hear and you’ll want to deny it. But I have that happen to me a few times. I have a 11 year old. And I dated 2 guys that did that to me. My twins haven’t watched me date a few guys.
Trust your instincts/gut.
In your post it sounds like you already know it’s a red flag. If he was really serious about being with you he wouldn’t be worried about introducing you to his family. Is it possible you are a side fling?
Sounds like you are getting played unfortunately. I would break it off and then stay single for a little bit wait for someone who is going to treat you better and not just looking for a good time… life is too short for games and broken hearts and all of that. Let him go string someone else along…
He doesn’t love you! Don’t you see it or don’t want to see it. Don’t be with someone if that person makes you question your status together or relationship. Dump him to the curb. He ain’t the only Coca-Cola on this planet. PROBLEM SOLVED!!!
Hes just got out of a relationship. Even if it was to be with you, he still needs time to work through that. I think everyone should take some time to be single before jumping into another one. That gives you time to see where you made mistakes and what you want out of your next significant other. There’s no reason you need to jump into one together anyway. And all i can say is BEWARE! If he left her for you, that means he has the capability to leave you for someone else. Ive done it and i realized it was because i wasn’t truly happy with myself at the time and no one was going to make me happy because of that so i relationship jumped thinking it was always the other person. Take a step back and make sure this is what you want for you and your child.
He’s playing games. He wants someone who will do “wifey” stuff for him without the commitment. I would either talk to him and express my feelings about the issue or just cut your losses. A man KNOWS when he wants to be with a woman. If he’s keeping it hidden either 1 he doesn’t really want to be with you or 2 he’s keeping things clear for other women to be in the picture.
So this man “left a woman for you” and you think there’s a different outcome for you? But he hasn’t even called you his girlfriend and NOW you’re questioning him after 6months?
Baby girl come on
So until he is willing to commit, your are not committed. And you can do as you please. And if that doesn’t feel right then give him an ultimatum and move on if it doesn’t go how you want. Trust your gut!!!
Girl hes using you for sex🤦 tell him to leave you alone
I chased after a man almost exactly like this for months only to find out he was not only still dating his “ex” they were engaged and she was pregnant.
I found out through his brother’s girlfriend.
Don’t waste your time with a guy like that.
Red Flag, narcissist. Walk away now.
Did he really break up with her. Or did she break up with him. Sounds weird he broke up ,with her to be with you. Ye, he hasn’t claimed you.
So… I had a boyfriend… kind of similar to this.
He would never put his ex in my face, and his mom did know about me. He didn’t ask me out for a few months tho. We were casually dating. It stressed me the fuck out. You know what I did? I asked him. I knew he wasn’t seeing other people. Idk why he didn’t want to ask. So I did it myself. Guess what… We’re now married. We have three awesome kids, and he is dad to my children from a previous relationship (I say dad because he’s so much more than a stepdad). We live an awesome, beautiful life.
If you want it, go for it. It’s not always a red flag.
And girl, is it doesn’t work out in a positive way… then move on because you’re worth more.
He said he loves you 2 months in but can’t be in a relationship with you?? Thats not love.
Sorry as a man , you said he’s younger , that tells me you would be better off walking away as friends. He just wants a friend with benefits.
He’s doin him, you do you. Until he wants to change that, you’re SINGLE!! Commit to yourself!!
Leave him alone. Cut it and make sure you don’t have shifts with him. He’s using you and you’re allowing him to.
How can he say he loves u without wanting commitment as simple as “dating”
I dated a guy who was like this. He invited me to a wedding and introduced me as his gf and then after he told me no… we aren’t dating. Its was weird and confusing. But I did this to my husband because of the damage my ex caused me (I told him what was going on though I didn’t string him along) if he’s not willing to be honest with you about what hes dealing with then he’s just using you.
If he told you he loves you his mother should know you are dating and you should definitely be official that sounds messed up to me sorry…I’d talk to him.
Stop giving him boyfriend privileges without the title! Demand your worth.
You in danger girl!!!
He is using you. Either he is still with his supposedly ex. Or he’s a mama boy. Would like to know the age difference between you two. Because he hasn’t grown up yet. Take care if you and your son.
You are being played. He told u he loved u to get u in bed. He tested the waters in every way. He lied. Move on, girl.
Ok so red flags… “seeing” each other for 6 months and only hanging out a 2x times a week. he “broke up with his ex to be with you” but wants to wait for the right time to be with you? that seems like narcissist shit TBH 
and is pretty much hiding you from his family… all I thought about while reading this is he’s still with this other woman is to why he isn’t committing like you want especially if he keeps talking about doing it, but won’t. Don’t waste your time.
If hell cheat for you hell cheat on you!
Ooof I can’t say it’s necessarily all wrong and can’t be righted but I certainlyyyy don’t like it especially with a child involved. I’d have a very serious conversation about expectations and boundaries and if y’all can’t come to an agreement, I’d be done
6 months is more than enough time to tell you he’s not serious with you.
Guys are a little different they are not like us emails and they don’t run and tell something however if he doesn’t seem serious he probably isn’t and is just stringing you along maybe friends-with-benefits?
You’re being silly. Have some fun. Why does everything have to be labeled? His family doesnt need to know about anything that goes on between you two. And seriously waiting to be asked to be a gf is grade school. Stop being a label.
He doesn’t sound to be serious with you, to be honest. And as the saying goes…”why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Ps. Don’t bring someone around your kids so soon
Sounds like he made you the side ho. Talk to the “ex” and see if they are truly done.
He dumped his last Gf for you…. That should tell you enough lol
Been there, done that. It’s a waste of time.
Your definitely being led on. All this guy sounds like he wanted was a new piece
This isn’t a stupid question. Ive been there, a few times. With promises of becoming official… but they never come… He’s definitely stringing you along and he’s definitely with other women. I’m sorry.
I had a similar situation, guy even brought me a ring, but then wanted me to hide it/take it off around his family. He turned out to be a complete pyscho, so my advice is to run, as fast as you can.
Red flags abound. I’d get out of the water pronto.
He loves you but doesn’t want to be called bf/gf? Smells like a bull farm to me. 
What I’ve learnt is that if a man really really wants to be with you he will, no doubt in his mind and no games being played. I always thought that a mans attention was an indication of his feelings for me, but it’s not. His actions and behavior shows his feelings. If he wanted to be with you he would be shouting it from the roof tops, and that’s how you know it’s real love. Dont settle just to be with someone, there is an amazing man out there for you, you just need to find him. Much love and all the best 
This guy is sending up lots of red flags. He is telling you in private what he thinks you want to hear. He’s also slipping in that you were going out while he was still with his ex. I’m sure that’s a story he has told to many to make dumping her your fault. This guy is bad news and you feel it. You are just afraid to admit it. Assuming they have a good relationship, any man that truly loves you would have told his mother right away. He would also be telling his friends, and be consistent about it. You need to dump this guy. He sounds like he’s had lots of practice at manipulating people. The longer you are with him, what he is telling you will begin to feel more real. It’s not. Get out before you get in any deeper. This is a potential disaster.
He just doesn’t want to be alone and he’s keeping on with you because it’s convenient. Start making plans to move on without him.
What you have is considered a casual relationship…go out together on like dates and away for weekends here and there…but not actually together…maybe he is testing the waters first before actually committing…personally I would go out with friends on a night he wants to come over or try not to Be so available to him…See if that changes him
He is playing you or he is not where he needs to be for a real relationship…
After I hung out with my ( now wife ) for about a month I made it real clear how I felt about her & I told her I wasn’t goin to be a friend I was goin to be something or nothing cause I cared to much for her… when a guy really likes you ant nothing goin to stop him from saying so
Number one im very old compared to you. But i can say been there done that… and way way way back in my teenage dating years. My brother told me the 3 magic words to get in a girls pants are “I Love You” youre being taken for a ride Sweetie. Hes a young buck and out to score. Hes too young and you being older is only a feather in his cap… or hash mark on his bed post. Great that he took you out for a couple night and paid for everything. You have a small child you need a grow man that gonna provide for you and yours. A couple night anit jack shit… a fun time rolling in the sheets isnt a provider. Hes learning from you what older women like. Youre being nothing more than his teacher. So why in gods green earth are you even giving it any thoughts to him committing to him?? Just because you have exs doesnt give him or you brownie points. Everyone collects stories and baggage as they enter into adulthood. You have one suitcase youve got to put first which is your child until theyre 18 yrs old… dont get hung up on this young buck… you made youre choices when you had your child. You need to find a man that mature and a I ready established… not some punk kid that dont tell his mom whom hès dating or sleeping with. And i can almost bet his mom is probably oĺd enough to been you mother too. And shed probably have a fit for you dating her young son and youre coming with a ready made family… theres no future in this for you here. Hes a boy toy have fun if you choose to but use birth control that you know for sure works and dont baby trap him into maturity… and yes he may even tell you stories or dreams of having a kid with you… dont let this happen and trap you both… for another 18 yrs…id telk him you hope you find a man like him but older and established… and walk away…
If he felt so strongly about you, he wouldn’t waist time asking you to be his. This sounds fishy asf
I don’t reckon he’s broken up with his “ex” like hes told you he has!
This is ridiculous. Wake up. He sounds immature and naive. You have a child. He hasn’t asked you out? Run