This one is for all of the single mom's with no family. How do I start over?

I have 2 children and I currently pregnant with a third, I am (21f) engaged to be married, I could've been married to him but kept putting it off because of his drinking problem. Recently, I found out I was pregnant, both lines were soild pink so I might be pretty far in. I shared the news with my finance, he didn't take it well. He's was pretty wide eye about it, he threw up and was being weird as usual. He then started bringing up the fact that we didn’t do it much in December ( he never pulls out ), that he didn’t know how my birth control failed ( I’ve been telling him that I couldn’t go to my doctor because I no longer have insurance) and just kinda saying without saying that it wasn’t his. So I lied and said that it was a fake pregnancy test just to test his reaction, I think he believed that. After that he proceeded to tell me that his mom told him to get a vasectomy a couple of weeks prior, only 1 of my two children is his. His mother mom started a tradition and basically brainwashed her into only having 1 child, so she’s an only child, he’s an only child and wanted him to have only one child. He parents did not like me in the beginning because I’m of a different race, his dad has racist friends and he even asked his son why would he do that. When they found out I was pregnant ( I wasn’t there), apparently it was hectic, they kept blaming me for not having a stronger birth control (even though pregnancy is 100% the cause of a man’s ejaculation), they wanted me to get an abortion, they didn’t know how they were going to tell the family, it was horrible and I felt ashamed for even being alive. They cornered me and forced me to have a baby shower with all of his moms friends even though I didn’t want one. His family is rich so they live with a different societal pressure to fit certain molds, my fiancé has a great job so money and space for the children isn’t a problem.

I just want to get away, I don’t like his family, they made it known that he will always be their son and they’re do ANYTHING to help him. My family always sides with him, when he was drunk and breaking things my mom told me to suck it up and just sleep with him, my stepfather told him to leave me he can do better, my fiancé has said multiple times that my family doesn’t care about me. Which they dont, my mom refuses to let me see my three yr old, her and her fiancée pretend he’s their child. I miss him and want to see him more but I know if I contact police or the court they’ll make it hell for me. I really don’t think I want to get an abortion, or give this baby up, I just want some people in my life that finally love me and they are my chance to have that. I want to leave with my kids, I don’t have any income and barley any money to my name but I’m willing to try anything.
So with that being said, does anyone know how to make a fresh start with kids, please share your advice? Where would be a good city to start over in, I can sell some pricey stuff to get cash ( maybe 5k) I just want a chance to raise my babies in peace.

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Get out. Mother and son be toxic asf. I’m sorry you and your babies have to deal with that :disappointed:

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Babe I’m so sorry your dealing with such trash. I hate racists dicks who think they’re entitled cause they have money. Now they’re scum. I’ve never had family back me. Everyone’s out for themselves instead of being a family. I personally love Oregon. I’m born and raised here. I use to live on the coast here in Oregon but now I live in desert with my two kids and I love it. I’m 5 hrs away from my fam. Now a days 5k isn’t enough. Best of luck v

I started again with absolutely noone and no support with 7 children. Just know it starts off hard but raising a family alone out of a toxic situation is easier than raising a family with someone who is toxic. Be the example to your children of who you want them to be. Strong and always striving for better. This will keep you going. Knowing you are teaching your children to be better and expect better than what you are dealing with right now.

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Find a pregnancy center. They will help you

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Run file for child support and primary custody, fine a job and apply for help with food stamps, child care. Set up Super advised visitations until custody has been agreed upon in court. Do not under any circumstances allow either set of grandparents have the kids sell what u can to provide for u and they babies go to a women shelter they can and will help u. Get u and they babies away from that toxi hell they nor u deserve it and no amount of money will ever make it ok and after this baby is born do a dna test to prove its his

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Bless Your Heart…Sending Prayers for you and your unborn child/children…I would definitely get as far away as possible…Ga is a Good State…

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I moved for a fresh start with young children to a small town in kansas . Best decision I ever made . I also have no family support. But small towns really look out for you

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Call 211 or go to 211.org and see what resources are in your area. If he’s been throwing things, drunk or not, that is considered abuse. Start stashing bits of money if you can, like getting cash back at the grocery store or anything that way to give you a little something.

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Get out, no matter how much of a struggle it is it will be worth it and someone will love you and your babes for you!
His mothers very toxic and will always try controlling his and your life as long as you stay!
You got a friend that will help you get on your feet even if it’s far away go!

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How can your mother keep you from seeing your own child?

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We’re not getting the whole story here, your mother has one of your kids…why, go get him back, NOW!!!

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May God give you the strenght you need to get away from that family…

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Single mom of three with no family. It’s hard really hard and I feel alone 90% of the time but it’s doable. You really have to want a better life for it to work and some days it feels almost impossible but you can do it. Call around and get help. Get a job. get ahold of housing authority’s to see if they can find you a home. Do what you have to.

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There has to be more to this story if you don’t have your three year old though. You need to invest in yourself, get some therapy. There is no excuse for getting your child taken away and if they were taken away you don’t deserve them back. Kids aren’t a toy you can’t just be there when it is convenient for you. Work hard on you girl. Those kids deserve it and so do you.

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If your mom does not have custody thru court go get your child now there’s nothing she can do

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Why does your mom have your three year old? Seems like we might not be getting the entire story only your side which definitely makes them look awful but things sound weird as heck.They are racist and have racist friends and wanted you to have an abortion but cornered you and forced you to have a baby shower with all their friends?? Nobody is on your side and everyone sides with the boyfriend even your family?You are not sure you want an abortion or to give up this baby but you just want people to love you and this baby and the other child are the chance for that? You should never have a child so they can love you,you have a child to love THEM…kids shouldn’t be conceived with a job.It really sounds like you might have some serious issues yourself that you need help dealing with because you have deliberately clouded the waters trying to make everyone else’s actions look bad but the part you are playing is missing.

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The longer ur mom has ur kid, the harder for you to get him back!
Go there, pick kid up and leave
You gotta grow some “balls” and take back your life!!! Your an adult nows the time to lace up your boots and get shit done!!!

I will be your friend and you are more than welcome to stay with me and my children to get on your feet. I live in NC and I don’t know where you are. But I’ll help you anyway I can.

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Ask yourself what state you would love to live in, then pick a small town in that state, now you have a beginning! Sell what ever you can,get as much money as you can get together! Leave, take your babies and your bags with you! It will be hard but soooo worth it! There are lots of resources available in all states! Google any questions you have about the state your going to and resources available there. Prayers for you and your children! You can do this ,pray for Jesus to guide you on your journey to a new and better life!:pray::pray::pray:

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From now on…look at local resources. Can get birth control free in a lot of states. So no. It isnt just the man’s fault when a woman gets pregnant. You had sex as well,so it is your fault as well. Have to be mature mentally and get in control of your own body. Knew the situation,yet still risked another pregnancy anyway. 2…How can your mom keep your kid if something didnt happen to make you scared to try to get him back? There is some reason you are afraid to call the law to get him back. 3. Look into local shelters. We have one in our state…AL…that is more like an apartment complex and they let you stay for 2 years, help you get a vehicle,and even help you get a job or take a trade or college course free so can be on your feet in that time. Call around and see what options are available, then sell what you can and go.

Stay away from drunks…with small kids and being pregnant…drunks do things and never remember doing it the next day.

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I think you should build an ark and load yours and his family on to it 2 by 2 and then launch it offshore, do a Viking burial and move on with your life

First and foremost, invest in yourself. Go back to school, yes its not easy, but many community colleges have free childcare and there are plenty of Grants and scholarships available for women with children trying to return to school and the workforce. Whatever you are passionate about focus on creating a career of it. Even if you didn’t graduate high school most local community colleges have a GED program as well as the ability to help you figure out what career you want to pursue.
Next you need to find counseling to help you through a lot of these things in a healthy non-toxic manner. Again the local Community College is a great resource there’s free student counseling which doesn’t just mean talking about school they are actual counselors and therapists that deal with real life stuff.
If his family is wealthy enough to help him out with whatever that can be beneficial for you to work on you no matter what road blocks and barriers that they may put in your way push past it ignore it climb over it and focus on one thing your improvement. Because as you grow mentally and emotionally you are going to feel so much better about yourself which in turn is also going to teach your children how to thrive. Do you baby girl so that you do not need to depend on anybody for anything.

I tell you that advice because I did not realize it until I was in my forties and the oldest student in my classroom at the community college. :heart:

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Start selling life insurance it takes a little money to get started but if you play it right and have no felonies and a high school diploma you can make bank. Just need to get a 2-15 insurance license and there are a ton of companies you can look into working for. I saw a Netflix show about a woman in a terrible cult like living situation and she saved money selling life insurance to get out. Invest in yourself and you will be okay. Just starts with being honest with yourself on what you can control and what you can’t. Baby steps. We are our own worst enemies

Literally saw this right after posting on your thread

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Honey if you want good advice, you have to be totally honest. First things first, why does your family have your 3 year old? Do they have custody? They can’t just keep you away from your child. How can they make it hell for you? I feel as though you’re leaving something out. You should try to locate some type of free legal counsel and discuss custody matters with them. You can also look into social services in your area. They can probably assist you with cash, food and housing. Good luck.

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The first step would be to get a job. Is there a reason you’re not working? You have to start taking responsibility for you. There’s a reason your parent has your child. Maybe you haven’t made the best decisions. It’s time that you start doing that. Stand on your own two feet, get your life together, get a job and give someone a reason to believe that your child should be with you

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Don’t get a abortion just because his family are nutcases…. You obviously want this child so have it! As for your parents taking your child if you haven’t hurt, neglected or failed to be a good mother to your son then your parents can’t stop you from taking your baby and you also need to remind them that YOU are the mother and they are the grandparents they cannot take over control for no reason. You sound very miserable already so if you marry into this hell of a family that’s your future misery and feeling on the outside all the time. You deserve better as do your children.

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That’s a whole lot of mess to unpack.

Hunny leave him, get yourself and your life on track for your kids.

Start getting cash back at the store $20 to $40 and hide its.

Make a plan

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Sweetheart you have so much more to focus on other than moving and starting over. Your mom and step dad are raising your three year old….you left out the part about “why” they have your child. He’s a drunk and you want to raise children with him but leave the state where your three year old lives?

Start over by leaving him, getting yourself together, go to school, etc. get your three year old back. Get into some sort of counseling. Go to school, find stable employment and help with your children.

A drunk will only get worse and money is not a reason to marry a drunk.

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Move out asap and take his ass for cs!

Family sounds sick!! Get out girl

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Do u have a car ? Pawn all your shit. Pack your car . And drive far far away . Get into a domestic violence shelter and let them help you get a apartment job and just live fearlessly. Even when you feel scared you can do it

Why do these young girls keep having babies with deadbeats

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First find work, get income going. Get a place but tell noone, then just go asap after filing for custody of the kids. get a safe and put money aside in your new place and save up as much as you can.

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Also Document EVERYTHING. Document him drinking, how he treats you, document any threats from your family, document showing how your family is trying to alienate you from your child. Also make sure you are getting/seeing your 3 yro as much as you possibly can.

21 and 3 kids already…woah

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Looks like you got yourself in a mess and now you have to live with it.

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This is a wild post and yall both need help

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I would leave for sure. Try and get some money first don’t tell anyone and just up and leave.

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Definitely documented, record, video everything

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First thing you need to focus on is getting your 3yr old from your parents. It doesn’t matter how much hell they make for you, unless you are actively using drugs there is no court that will keep your child from you, they are manipulating you. Especially if they don’t have court ordered custody of your child, that is KIDNAPPING! this new baby is the least of your worries honestly. Both his and your families sound toxic af. You need to come up with an action plan and stick to it love. If you want to keep this baby and not get an abortion then your timeline is def shorter but you need to make the decision that you feel is best for you either way. No one else gets to decide that for you or coerce you into a decision. I’m all for pro-choice but that means supporting all choices, including you wanting to keep this baby despite your hardships. If that’s what you want you need to start taking steps now up get your first child from your mother so you have custody of all your children, get a job and start squirelling away money to start working towards getting your own place. You’re absolutely right to put off marriage with this guy until he shapes up and gets help for his drinking problem but that’s something he needs to do in his own so you need to focus on you and your babies now. When you’re set up to get your own place you can file for child support to help as well but you def need to get all your babies together and away from all these toxic people. You got this!

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Find Out If There’s A Safe Place There & If So They Could Help You Get Out & Keep You & Your Babies Safe…They Even Help With Housing & Getting Jobs

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They do these thing then the baby’s suffer for it so sad

Y don’t u have ur 3yr.old?:flushed:

Keep your legs closed

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Well if his family is involved then they will want to see the kids. So just leaving isn’t going to fix this. You can’t just get rid of him just because you realized you don’t get along with his family. That’s what happens. People have family. You also know how babies are conceived and if you haven’t had previous luck with previous dads of kids then you needed to have a real adult conversation about BC and condoms- and no guy ever says they WANT to wear condoms so that unprotected sex that resulted in conception is on you both. Same for getting custody of your other child. Whatever happened you are the parent so sounds like you have yourself in another situation you don’t know how to get out of- none of these things are going to be easy or something that’s not going to suck. You absolutely need long term birth control and personal life goals. You need your own money and you need to get yourself a life plan. Do you have career goals educational goals? Sometimes states have programs that can help you with education and job training and help with daycare. You have to get your shit together. Your kids need you ok and you need to be ok too but it’s like you are just floating from one bad choice to another and it’s worse each time.

If he’s got a drinking problem DONT marry him move on now while you still can been there done that 12 years of it

Wow that’s a whole lot of drama going on.

Omg Yes please first if you can get your baby back !!! Unless you have a court order or drug case GO TAKE YOUR SON BACK ! Let them call who cares he’s YOURS ! Then you and your baby/babies move away and just try to do the best you can. Safe money now even if you have to start being cheap for a few weeks just to cut costs it’ll be worth it . But please if you can get your baby back ! I’m sorry you’re going through this love . Head up :heart:

This hurts my heart! Do you have a car or a way to go? If not take that $5,000 and find a place near a bus route. Find a job that’s somewhere you can get to and start creating your best life for you and your babies.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. This one is for all of the single mom's with no family. How do I start over?

You shouldn’t be having anymore children until you regain custody of the child you already got taken away… yes, I said it. As far as two dark lines, I had two dark lines at 6 weeks… so that means nothing. And you lied after telling him you were pregnant?! Not sure how that will help your situation. In my opinion you need to lose the alcoholic man and do some serious soul serching on yourself. Regain custody of your 3 year old even if you have to go through hell doing it… seriously!!!

I couldn’t even fathom giving up on my child because things would be hard for me if I didn’t. The thought literally makes me want to throw up.

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Use those 5k to get your child back and take her to court. Won’t be a fresh start if you leave your child behind

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Um #1 get your toddler back before your mom & step dad pollute your child. #2 contact domestic violence shelters in your area… they should be able to set you up on all fronts. I’m not sure why people are laughing the shits not funny. At all. I hope the best for you mama

Are y’all answering the right question? I don’t see where she had a child taken away.

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I’m confused… do you have custody of your other child and your mother just wants him all the time and makes excuses as to why she isn’t sending him home or does she have custody of the other child?

If your mother has custody of the other child, your focus should be on getting him back, meaning you need to take yourself out of this toxic situation, get stable housing and employment and regain custody. If she doesn’t have custody and just refuses to give you back your child, that’s kidnapping… she has no legal right to keep your child.

So, if you have custody of your kids, you don’t need to give anyone any explanation or justification. Sell what you need to sell to get the money, pack your stuff and your kids stuff and bounce. Find a little place and start over. Look into community resources for help.

You need to leave the boyfriend and both sides of the family in your rear view. And if you call the police/courts and your mother makes it hell on you, you go through that hell… for your child.

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Having children to love you is selfish. Love doesn’t buy diapers. :woman_facepalming:
You need therapy. You are in no place, emotionally, to be in a relationship. Fioe for custody and walk away.
Honey, you need honest people in your life. Obviously the ones around you are toxic. There is zero reason for you to stay. Leaving is best for you and your children. You go to social services and get help. Get into a local college and get a 2yr in something you can support you and your children on. Stop hanging around these human losers and find yourself, for yourself.
Block them. As for your parents, text them daily about your child bc when you get it together to get him, you’ll need proof you’ve been trying.
But girl, therapy.
Aa for birth control, health dept will see you for cheap or free and give you birth control. There is no excuse. Stop letting these brats nut in you. Getting pregnant isn’t his fault, you were there too. Own up to your part.
Now is the time to get your life in some kind of order and grow up.
I’ve been where you are and you can do this. You just have to stop listening to people who say you can’t.

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U need to take care of ur self to not have babies.dont blame it on the man he not going to stay anyway he don’t care if u have 20

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You need to invest in your mental health and learning to love yourself. You will never find someone to love you until you learn how to love yourself. Your children need you healthy and maybe you can also find solutions to your problem through that route.

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Do you have any job experience or degrees to get a job?

You shouldn’t be having kids just because you want someone to love you; that will end in disaster most of the time. You should also focus on getting your 3 year old back from your mom. Loving yourself and taking care of yourself is what you really need to do because you can never truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself. You also can’t leave to a different state especially if 1 of the kids is his because he has rights as the father, so you would have to go through the courts to get permission to leave the state. The main thing is just to work on yourself first and get in a better place mentally.

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Create your own family from friends. Doesn’t sound like anyone is on your side: Sounds like mom & stepdad want you to have his money but no happiness.

Buy OTC birth control (can you still buy foam?), Buy female condoms or suck it up and pay for the pill or Norplant after the baby is born. Why couldn’t you have asked your rich boyfriend to pay for birth control when you lost insurance? You bear some responsibility if you knew he wouldn’t wear a condom, get a vasectomy or pull out (not very reliable anyway).

Join a mom’s group, get some training/education for a good job, start networking and making work contacts in a field you want to enter. I recommend anything to do with computing or artificial intelligence to make decent money to support yourself and the kids. See if BF will pay for it, or see if you can get a scholarship or loans. Chances are you won’t need a 4-year degree and could learn online while the kids are sleeping or you have someone to watch them.

Get a free lawyer consult to see what your options are. Is it better to put his name on the birth certificate and get child support or leave it off and cut him and his family out? Do they know you’re pregnant? Do you want his family to have a relationship with the kids? Bonus: they will buy presents and watch the kids to give you a break. Drawback: they might make the kids feel “less than” or ignore them entirely.

Write down everything you need to do to be free of fiancé & his family and support yourself and your kids. Develop steps to achieve your goals. Plan your work, work your plan.

Is fiancé employed? Is child support based on his income or all his assets? He could transfer all his money to family and say he’s broke and can only pay the minimum in child support. Ask a lawyer.

I assume fiancé is not willing to give up drinking and go to AA or similar. That’s bad news for the kids. I’d request supervised visits only, but you’ll have to get evidence of his drinking and raging. Record on your phone & immediately send info to a trusted friend or make a copy & put in a safe place. If he goes ballistic again call the cops & make a police report so that’s on the books.

Can you work part time or do odd jobs to earn money now? Lawyers are expensive. Put off the marriage for now. Divorces can be really expensive.

Life will be hard on your own, but you can do it. If you get a job you may be able to get Medicaid for you & the kids (which I think includes birth control), food stamps and subsidized housing though there may be a wait list.

Good luck! Make good choices.

Go get your child🤦 your mom has no legal right to keep him. And why would get pregnant again by a drunk? You pushed back your wedding over it but will have his baby?

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All I can tell you is where there’s a will there’s a way. I’ve been there, except the different race part. Had a3 years old from a previous relationship and an 8 month old from one I was in. He became abusive and I found out after I left him I was I pg again. I was NOT about to raise my children in that environment and I had no family willing to help me, in fact my family caused me harm than good, especially my mother. I got us an income based apartment and every kind of assistance I could until I got back on my own two feet. It is possible, you just have to be willing to stand your ground for the things you want in life and do what ya gotta do to get them. Best of luck. I will keep you in my prayers

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I’d start with getting police involved as well as child services to get your child back. Having another child probably isn’t the best idea as of right now with the current situation you’re in, if you don’t have much money to begin with you aren’t going to be able to afford yet another child. You need to cut ties with everyone 💁 if you can sell some stuff in order to get a proper place it’ll be your best bet to start with before trying to get your child back

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get out why you are able. Go to a women shelter they will help you.

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  1. If your mom has legal custody of your oldest. Sell those items to retain a lawyer to get your child back.
  2. Get state insurance for this pregnancy.
  3. Once you get insurance, go to your local mental health department and get a case manager. You can have the meetings via zoom. A case manager will help find resources for you to get away from your alcoholic fiance.
  4. How long have you and fiance been together? How long have you lived together? Have you guys filed taxes together? I’m only asking because if you filed taxes together, you are technically married. Therefore, you need to file for divorce as well. Ontop of custody for the one you’re pregnant with now and the one you already have. If you retain that lawyer for your first child, that lawyer should be able to help you with all of this as well.
  5. Not sure where you are located but I would stay in the same state.
  6. If all else fails, if your fiance is any bit of abusive. It doesn’t have to be physical. I would reach out to local domestic violence shelters for help. They can put you on a wait list for low income housing, help with finding employment and daycare, among a lot of different things.
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  1. Children are not some people in your life that finally love you, wrong reason to have kids… You need to work on you before bringing more small people into your world.
    You need to love your self…

  2. You need to go to a dr and see if you are actually pregnant and not lie about it, that is going to hurt you in court… if it comes down to that…

  3. Life is hard, nothing comes easy and it takes work… are you going to walk away from these kids when your fiancée and his family take you to court for custody of the kids cause it’s hard?. (they sound toxic). Go to court and get your baby back from your mom ( They sound toxic as well). Get your self together don’t put up with crap and raise your babies. It won’t be easy there is no easy way around it. There is help out there reach out to the community. But you can do it if you put all you got into it. Find someone to watch kids and get part time work and learn to be independent for you and your kids…

  4. A men is not 100% at fault for a women being pregnant… it takes two to Tango… you knew you where off the pill and still allowed no other birth control… it’s on you both and takes the male sperm and female egg to create life.

Your story is so… what’s the right word? I’m not sure, you have 2 children but didn’t know how to stop a third? Your with a man that you don’t want to marry but want to have children, his family against you and you want to sell his stuff, his or you would have said your stuff, you want to move so he can’t be a father to his child and your looking for advice??? Grown up!!! Oh wait, your 21, 3 kids so I’m assuming your just looking for someone to say poor you… start with straightening your life out where your at, trouble stay wherever you go

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First of all, you need to get your other child home. If your mother does not have legal custody and you’re simply refusing to call the police to avoid confrontation , which is what this sounds like, then you have more issues than “needing to start fresh”. Call the police and get your kid. If your mom has custody, then take her to court, fight for your child, be a mother!
Now to your pregnancy, you told your boyfriend and because he acted unhappy you lied and said it was a fake pregnancy test? So he doesn’t want another child, that’s his problem he should have thought about that before having sex​:roll_eyes::unamused: You both sound like you have a lot of growing up to do. Focus on getting all of your children, then look at starting over.

Find a small town somewhere they are normally cheaper you could also look into buying a cheap house or property with house that way you have somewhere permanent

Sis. The first step is to find employment. That $5000 is going to go NOWHERE fast.

*Seek therapy
*Work on getting custody of your Oldest
*Figure out if you want to attach yourself permanently to these weirdos for another 18 years.

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Yesh why is everyone so mean cause shes young with three kids seriously shit happens no need to be judgey everyone has something to say when u are young i got married at 19 and about to have a second kid i am almost 21 everyone keeps telling me i will regret it i should party etc . i have no one other than my husband and kid we have land and our building ourselves up best advice i can give is dont recommend renting you will go through that money quick look into buying a cheap place also check for day labor places they are amazing for quickly gettinga lil extra needed income with little to no job experience and a lot of places have them stop letting otger people tell u how to live your life just because they are older you are a adult you do whats best for you focus on you and your kids

If she hasn’t gone to court and have custody of your child just go and take him

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And then move on with your children and do what you got to do

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I would start stashing money immediately and
I would get the hell out of there sounds like things will never change

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You are soooo young. I don’t really understand what brought you or kept you with your fiancé to begin with because it all seems very immature and dramatic. Maybe that’s what kept you in it, that you like that, subconsciously. But it’s not good for you or your children. I think it’s time for you to focus on yourself and your kids, get some counseling to help you grow and heal and move on for a better life. Cut everyone toxic out of your life and find support in new friends/colleges who are healthy. If you focus on yourself and your kids and doing better everyday you can do anything!

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Kids don’t fill voids. They don’t fix problems
You can look around for family assistance and see what women’s programs you qualify for. You need therapy too though, because if you expect those kids to fix you not only will you be disappointed, but you’re going to do unnecessary damage to the children. Kids are not responsible for adults emotions in any way shape or form.

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I’m sorry you don’t have the support system that you need. Those kids are the ones that will love you unconditionally! Don’t give up your baby give up the man! Get your kids back, you can do this on your own. It may be hard but it’s doable. Be picky with any man that comes into your life. You are worth it and your kids are worth it.

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If you wanna leave today go take your child and find a shelter in a different county :woman_shrugging:t5: from there they will help with finding a job, daycare & housing programs to get you started . It won’t be easy (I stayed in a shelter) I only stayed about 6 months ! I left found a job and then moved back to where my parents were when I got section 8 approved in there area. Obviously these ladies in this group are rude and has never made a mistake and I’m sorry for the harsh comments . I’ll be 22 next month I’m having my 3rd child in July & im a traveling CNA. It’s took me less than a year to get my shit together. You can do the same , find a good friend that you can trust and let that life go.

There are many avenues you can take to create a new life for yourself and your children. What direction are you lead to? Do you wanna go back to school? Do you want to get a job? Are you in need of housing assistance or Foodstamps? Are you a member of a church? Have you reached out to your churches? Hopefully you will find the help that you need. May God give you strength to get through this.

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Young girls are different these days, yall be in your 20s with 30 and 40yr old problems :flushed:

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I’m sorry but this sounds like a train wreck. Not that it can’t be changed. But a lot of key players have a lot of growing up to do, yourself at the top. Get your child back from your mom - unless there’s something you’re not disclosing in your terribly written ramble. Probably best to write off the man-child but he may grow up when your baby is born. Who knows. This makes my head hurt :smirk:

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You have to make the choice to change things.It isnt going to be easy but,itll be worth it.If your mother doesn’t have custody,go to the police and have them bring you to get your child(go to the court house and file for custody)Utilize your states programs to help get you on your feet for now (no shame in doing this as thats what its for)I understand your situation 100% as Ive been in your shoes(ex husband is a narcissist)

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Let me start by saying… your headline on your post is very misleading (straight out lied) … :roll_eyes:
You have a family…smh … you even say that your mom is raising your three-year-old, do you understand that there are people out there that really have NO family :rage:

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I really don’t beleive these anonymous posts are real this is just so messed up and the poster seems stupid idk but the post seems like a watt pad story

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There are many organizations that can help you get on your feet and give you a boost but you are also going to have to put a-lot of effort in and make things happen. It is scary and may seem impossible at times but keep on going and always try to find the positive. Let the kiddos be kids and you mama get whatever counseling or help You need to help you with your struggles and to help
You help them. There is NO man on this planet worth coming before children. Only you can make the change and do what’s best. Until the kids can be with someone stable in all ways they need to remain safe and in a Stable home. Do it al life the kids and yourself and you won’t regret it.

Get custody back of your son ! Get out ! But have income lined up first

If your mother is keeping the older one than does she have custody ? If so you must have been unfit mother. If she doesn’t have custody don’t ask her just walk up with the police and demand your child. If my mother would do that to me she would never see me or my kids again. Being on your husband side instead of yours is totally wrong. Your parents are toxic and will turn your child against you. Get rid of your husband and your parents before your kids hate you for not standing up and protecting them

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Why does your mom have your child? That’s the first question. So many what ifs here. However you can do this!

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Kity Herrera just cause they are blood doesnt mean they’re family. Her mom refuses to let her see her kid, and then acts like the kid is hers. It aint. Shes the grandma. She refuses to see or speak to her. Thats not being there. Thats toxic. Thats no family.
Shes about to become a single mom… And she has no familial support… And shes starting over…id say its very on point.
2nd. Keep your judgements about her situation to yourself. She didnt ask about it. Karen.
She asked for advice on how to start over. Either give her THAT advice or move along.

Admin

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She just needs advice and help not all this criticism. As a social worker if your mom has your child legally you do have rights to go to court and get custody back but if she is just keeping the child with no custody in place and won’t give it back just talk to your local police department. My advice is to get your ducks in a row first, start saving, call your local family service office to get help with government help, WIC, housing assistance, and then fight like hell to get your kid back. You got this and good luck. DM me for resources if you need help.

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Wow!! You are in a very toxic situation, and I am proud of you for wanting more and not staying because he comes from money. I would sell the pricey things you mentioned and hide the money where he definitely won’t find it. I know this will sound weird, but I would decide on a place where you want to live and go to the women’s shelter in that area. You will be safe; your children will be safe, and it will give you a minute to collect your thoughts and set in motion your plan. The women’s shelters also have resources and can help you find affordable housing and other things to get you on your feet and even help you get your son from your parents. If they do not a court order for custody of your child, I am pretty sure it is considered kidnapping if they won’t let you have your child. It is not easy to start over with no one in your corner, but I believe in you, and I believe you can do this. You are stronger than you think. Just remember a journey starts with just one step. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and before you know it you will have completed your goal. I wish you Love and Light Sis…

Wrong idea to say a child will always love you, be yours, etc… biggest issue is they can reject you and hurt you the worst. Good Moms also experience this… you need to see a therapist please. I don’t believe in abortion but that is such a bad reason to have a child.

Not fair for the family! Kids deserve responsible parents…:cold_sweat:

This is your third pregnancy, but your mother has your first. Why? You are engaged, or whatever to an alcoholic & you should leave, Because , hate to tell you this, it’s only going to get worst. Money or no money, get some sort of aid by the state & see about housing, If the birth control pill doesn’t work for you think about something else, & maybe just be a mother & concentrate on that for a while instead of finding a man, When I left my husband I was 20, & 2 babies & I didn’t want anymore, I tried for yrs to get a tubal, but no Dr would do that for me. Because they said, 'what if I met someone else & I want more kids?" I told them if that happens, chances they also have kids with someone else & I really didn’t want any more kids, because working & supporting the 2 I had was not easy, why would I add to that??? Something to think about