Thoughts about this situtation with my husband?

So my husband would rather masturbate than have sex with me. I need some advice as to how I should feel about it and how I should handle it in a positive way. Thank you!

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I would ask him why.

c o m m u n i c a t i o n. ask him why, spice up the sex life, change perfume(its proven men get tired of same routine) wear different lingerie, change your look, you gotta spice it up to keep up.

Has he told you this :thinking:

Has he said this or are you just assuming because he masturbates more than he has sex with you? If you know he’s doing himself, then you know he wants sex. So why aren’t y’all having sex? It’s not all his job to initiate it. So if you want it, do it.

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I mean, it’s a LOT less work doing it yourself lol

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Lay next to him, rub yourself and let him go his thing. It’s hot as fuck. Just try it. Or he will probably leave in the future. :woman_shrugging:

Why do you say that? Did he tell you that or are you assuming and in your feelings? Have you talked to him about it ?

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I feel like I sent this in :thinking::joy:

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as a dude shocking i know act interested! Then join in maybe mutual masterbation will get it started

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Baby girl, I hate to say it but maybe he’s not attracted to you. Are there parts of yourself you’d like to work on? Maybe your attitude could use some cheering up, maybe try some different makeup styles or a hair cut? Some cute stuff to wear to bed? Sometimes we need to switch it up a bit. If that doesn’t work, he’s gay. :woman_shrugging:t4: But put the effort in first ok babes? :kissing_heart::kissing_heart: good luck!

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Yea if he has not told you I would not assume… also see what kind of porn he’s masterbating to

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I’m amazed by the amount of men on here commenting. The page is called Mamas Uncut, for women to post questions of other women about being a mother. You don’t belong here,we don’t want your input.

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Its awesome to see men’s responses, I think any input from different perspectives is awesome.

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maybe you’re bad in bed?

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Why is it that it is always the woman’s fault,don’t you think just maybe he can’t get an erection because something bis wrong with him physically

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I went through that with my last relationship and tried to do all the things- different makeup and clothes and worked out… my new bf is all about me and wants to have sex with me whenever I want it. It’s not you! It’s just not the right relationship maybe?!?

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Talk to him. Ask what’s going on. Tell.him no matter the reason, you want to know. Be super straight up and honest, regardless on how it might make u feel.
It could be something you both can work on…or it may just be something HE needs help with.
If he always always always has to initiate it, maybe hes just done with asking. If you ask and try turning him on and he is always rejecting you that’s different.
You both need to TALK big time. And now before the marriage ends. Cause that’s where something like this can lead.

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It’s can be an addiction. Also some men are used to their own touch & how to ejaculate. They can do it quicker. Maybe hes telling you something.

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People forget that humans have things they are attracted too . Iv been married to my husband for 11 years and this happned twice with him. We have to keep up with ourselves spiritually and physically . There is a reason why . And you cannot rule out yourself . Hopefully it’s not because of unfaithful reasons .
My mother inlaw had the idea since she had his kids and that marriage was permanent too her . She didnt have to work on her self . And there marriage fell apart miserably. And the bedroom is where it starts.

Sex by myself or with women not dumb take women everytime

Ask him what is going on. Sometimes people just need to handle their business and it’s faster and quicker solo. You So it doesn’t have to be anything about you at all but you need to talk and not assume. If you strum your lady harp when he’s not around does that mean you don’t want him? No so until he says he doesn’t want to with you anymore talk to him and see what’s up.

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Did he say “I would rather masturbate than have sex with you” or are those your words?

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Your staying why???
Nothing worse than a loveless marriage don’t do it to yourself

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no advice, but with how my own hermons are, I would prefer he handle his head on his own for the time being. I was on the depo for 3 yrs and my sexdrive wasn’t there after that. and my last shot was supposed to be in feb. but i didnt get it. i wanted to try for a summer baby, but with how things are, I’m not even sure now. but I do know that whenever I’m able to conceive, my daughter’s will be older and more able to help with that new sibling whenever that may be. good luck.

talk with him. ask why he want a what he wants and then tell how you feel.

Is this a new situation or has it been heading that way for some time? Has anything changed between you or did you turn him down when he tried at times before? I think men take being ‘rejected’ sexually very personally and stop trying as hard because they figure you’ll just turn them down again. I wouldn’t be happy about it though! It doesn’t make you both very intimate if he’s not getting his needs met by you and you feel pushed away. Also, you know the kinda stuff he’s watching. It can’t be doing your self-esteem much good wondering why he is choosing that and what the appeal is. I guess it is a means to an end and doesn’t mean anything but you can’t let him carry on like that if you want the situation to change moving forward. If you want things to improve then you really need to sit him down and tell him how you feel. Say how much it bothers you and ask him why he chooses porn over you. If he won’t talk about it and gets defensive then you might need to work harder at getting through to, him. Good luck :heart:

Confidence is key. If your a mud duck with one eye and a peg leg you could have a mate. I’ve seen some unattractive men and women with no shortage of companions. It’s all in the attitude and how you feel about YOU. If you think your the (blank), then you act, dress, look, walk like it. Dress up (thong, push up bra, thigh highs, corset) put your make up on and get out strut your stuff. Masterbate while he’s in bed beside you and then roll over and go to sleep. He’s not the only one in this relationship. Do you, don’t wait on him to make you feel good about you.

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I’d rather him masturbate than cheat to be honest. But on the other side “just talk to him” can be easier said than done sometimes. So I would try and see what behind the reasoning…is he bored? Do you have a low sex drive? Y’all both work full time? You never know. As cheesy as it seems, communication really is a main key in a relationship.

Hey probably does it so he can keep going longer?

I went through this for a bit after my ex husband watched me give birth to our children. It threw him off a bit. Wondering if it might be something similar?

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That is almost always a clue to someone having a porn addiction.

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Same thing I’ve got going on. Hed much rather herk off in the bathroom than do anything sexual with me. Always has the excuse that hes tired or had a long day. He either wants to play on his computer or hes in the bathroom. Slowly started out after I got pregnant and now is pretty much non existant and our child is almost 4 now.

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Drop a pic and we can tell you why!

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Buy a toy and please yourself. Don’t even try to have sex with him and if he tries refuse. Then we he gets frustrated he will ask you why are you acting this way. At this time he will be willing to listen. Then you let him have it .