Thoughts on a shared birthday party with boyfriend’s daughter? My kids have a combined birthday party because their birthdays are within 2 weeks of each other and it’s just more logical and my boyfriend’s daughter is right inbetween them. Her mom wants to have her own party and not include us which is fine but I don’t know how I feel adding her into my kids day. I don’t want all their birthday memories if things don’t work out being shared with someonee not in their life.
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If I’m reading this right, if she doesn’t want to include and share birthdays then you shouldn’t either. 
It’s one birthday it’s really not that serious. You can do it this once and see how it works.
You don’t involve kids in your relationship unless you are all in. Your boyfriend’s kid should be treated the same as your own. For your side of the family they should ALL be combined or ALL separate.
Do not do it , celebrate your kids only , she will have her celebration with her mom , of course she can attend your kids party as a guest , you and your boyfriend can buy her a little cake for her on her birthday
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Shared. You don’t want to make BF’s daughter feel left out. You are all together and should celebrate as a family so there’s no resentment or walls put up by her. It will only make the future tense between everyone especially if your relationship continues for years to come. Treat her as your own. Her mother doesn’t have to treat your daughter as her own because she’s not involved with their father. Take pictures with all 3, just your two and just her so if things don’t work out you still have pictures of your kids without her in them and she can have pictures of just her
How fair is is that your kids 1 party in which they have to share 3 ways while your boyfriend’s daughter gets 2 birthdays. 1 of her own. How special will your kids feel? I say she has her party with her mom. The same day do your kids party. Do cake & a special dinner for your kids on their actual birthday. Do the same for her on a day bf has her.
Everyone talks about treating the child outside the home equally to the children in the home. It’s never equal. The kids in the home always have to sacrifice for the other kids. Then they wonder why kids resent each other.
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Shared bday parties are a source of childhood trauma!!! Don’t do it!!! I hated it so so very much. It takes away everything special about a persons birthday when u make them share their freaking birthday the one day u should feel special and u should be celebrated oh no no u share that! It messed up!!! So u leave that mom alone who wants to make her baby feel special on her birthday even if u don’t. If u wanna be a petty Betty to your step daughter u do that but im sure u can guess the title u will be earning!
Separate. Kids need to feel special and their day / party is just about them in my opinion