Is work schedule something to end a relationship over? He loves his job and has advanced well in his career. I don’t want to take that away from him but I know in my heart that I do not want to be a married single mom where my husband is gone all of the time. We had originally figured out a solution to this where he would work 2-3 days per week on the road and be home the rest. Still not home at a decent time but home nonetheless. Tonight he told me he doesn’t want to do that at all and wants to continue with his current schedule. I am so torn. This man is an angel on earth but I don’t want to see my kids grow up without dad around. He misses everything. His job has already fucked with my life so much and I don’t want to have a relationship over the phone. I am so so so torn.
You are worth the time!!
He isn’t willing to work it out and give time to you and your future kids then you guys are are two opposite sides of the coin.
You know your answer!
We can all just validate you!
As much as you love him, if he’s not willing to find a compromise (as you should too) then there’s no sense in continuing the relationship. It will just get more messy the longer it continues. If he loves you he should be willing to find a way to make you happy as well. A job shouldn’t be more important than a relationship. As for you, find a good compromise you’d be ok with and let him know exactly how you feel. Let him know you’re willing to accept this (whatever you come up with) and that you understand he also loves his job. But he will need to choose to work with you or go separate ways.
It’s a struggle to build or climb up he’s advancing for a better life for you an his children what’s wrong with that. With prices of living today I’d be so thankful an soak up the time he is around. Chemistry, communication keeps it alive.
Just my own personal opinion
But honestly
I think you are being over the top
Be thankful he has a job
You make non sense, you said that you do not want to raise your kids without a father but , if you end your marriage they will not have their father .
Try to negotiate, quantity do not equal quality, it’s better to have him 2 days a week with you and enjoy the little time you will have together than having him 5 days and still feel single .
Find out why he want to keep working so much. He might be doing it so he doesn’t have to work so much down the road and spend quality time with his family it’s very rare that a man will just work for the sake of working
do you know how hard it is to find a job that you like & can promote/advance in? especially in TODAY’s world? let him go to somebody more understanding.
He doesn’t want to be with you
You’re clearly unhappy. It won’t get better. You need to end it, because you’re always going to be alone. There’s no point in being “with” someone that you’re never actually with.
And if you were to have children, it would be worse. You would never have him there to support you and you’ll be caring for the children all on your own.
There has to be balance. This isn’t it. You two are not compatible.
Grow up, sounds like your the one that came up with that 2-3 day schedule not him…get out quit using him if you are that dependant on having a man around all the time…if your looking for sympathy there’s none here…do you work, if not obviously money might be a reason you stay…
Some people can do it and some can’t. It’s very clear that you can’t and that is fine! You aren’t the first person nor will you be the last to end a relationship due to career choice. Don’t force him to stop his job that he obviously loves. Life must go on, you and him must go separate ways if it’s truly something you don’t think you can do otherwise you’d both just be in miserable situations later. 
You both want different things. He prioritizes work over you. It’s okay to end it.
I’m in the same kind of Relationship, it’s not easy. He wanted to take on all the financial burden and wanted me to stay home but I wasn’t ok with that, mostly because I’m still a single mom and have nothing to fall back on. Now with the economy the way it is, I’m having to go back to work, so means even less time together. It’s not easy!! Curious what he does for a living?
It is ok to end a relationship for whatever reason you need to but please try everything you can before you leave someone you really love, that really loves you. Real love is hard to find. Maybe you and the kids could visit him on some weekends or maybe he can take a few days off each month or two. Something to look forward to might help. Talk to him and have him talk to his boss. Maybe there is something that can be worked out. Just don’t give up to easy.
In all honestly, I wouldn’t end it for that, there is many of children out there that grow up without even knowing their father.
Before I was born my dad was a truck driver so he was awake all week and home at the weekends (with the other kids) but my mum and fad split just after I was born so I never had him around alot growing up, I mean now I’m older I wish I had him around growing up but unfortunately that’s not always the case.
My kids dad works put of town alot after a while almost 6 years I started getting tired of it. I wished he would go out of town bc all we did was fight. We split after year 8 1/2 bc I was a single mom at that point and he never helped with the kids. It’s exhausting but it does show I could never be a military wife.
Making permanent decisions for a temporary situation 
What is his current schedule?
She’s got a man who wants to work and provide a good life for his family. A rare thing these days. Yeah…let him go and find a woman who will appreciate his efforts.
One day when he’s old and alone and his career is long over, he will wish he spent those days home with you and your kids to have fun memories to look upon. Instead he’ll be pitiful and alone looking on his life of what it could’ve been, and his position long been filled. Careers and jobs are temporary. Family is for life.
Well , I think she needs to get over herself, if she ends it she will still be raising kids on her own.sounds like she’s trying to force him to do it her way ., She said he’s an angel ,probably won’t find better
Wow it sounds like your not ready. My hubby works on the road 6-10 months straight. We traveled with him for 10 years, until our daughter wanted to do something other than homeschool.Honestly it’s little in the fish you will fry over the years.
If his work is more important to the point where he’s unwilling to compromise then I’d leave. I don’t want to be in a relationship or married for the sake of saying I’m married or in a relationship. I want time, attention, dates, companionship, and I want a family. Someone who wants to be here with me, our kids, live a life together. It doesn’t look like that’s what you’re getting or will have in the future with him so I’d leave.
You say “you don’t want to see my kids grow up without dad around” and your thought is to end the relationship. That will definitely keep dad away from the kids. Is he home on weekends? Does he treat you and the kids well? I’m sure it’s hard without him home, but it will be harder without him living in the home.
Stick it out. You marry the man & deal with the job. It won’t always be this hard & it’s just a rough season. This isn’t the economy to be quitting & he probably doesn’t have the option of only working a few days a week.
-Coming from the wife of a man who travels 90% of the time, I’ve felt this way wishing he could just quit to be home with me & our kids. Trust me, my husband wants to be home. He also knows his job is what pays our bills & provides for our family. There are no jobs around us that pay what he makes without a degree unless it’s overnights at a factory & even still, the pay would be less. There’s no way his company would agree to him only being gone 2-3 days a week. They have a job to do & schedule to keep. Be thankful you have a husband who works hard to provide rather than someone who would see his family struggle or go without. Not every man has that drive.
From an outside view this is what I heard my man is an angel he works so hard to provide for his family he has worked so hard he has had promotions at his job but I am lonely and have not addressed that issue or feeling but I want him do stop what he is doing with no good explanation or your leaving.
They are going to grow up without a dad either way from the sounds of it. If he was such an angel on earth he would be more willing to compromise and be there more in person to help raise his children. But also where do you come up with 2 or 3 days a week? Most people work at least 5 days anyway. Why can’t he work 5 days a week? If you want him to have money he has to work. I person couldn’t be with a man that wasn’t home every Night. It’s too lonely. But I’m thankful my man has a good job that he loves and makes decent money doing it and is able to be home every night and weekends. If you just can’t be with him because his job keeps him on the road too much then that’s ok. You’re allowed to have those feelings and need more…
Honestly I’d leave. There are plenty of fish in the sea and maybe he can find someone that will work a few extra hours so that he can feel secure in taking time off to spend with you. With the economy the way it is and you saying the worst thing about him is that he works, he won’t be lonely long. But if you don’t work and he is the sole breadwinner of the family, be prepared to make some major life changes.
“If he wanted to he would”
Something I’ve heard and always seems to ring true, for both sides. Where there’s a will there’s a way, he don’t seem to have much will though. If it financially isn’t required, something needs to change. His schedule or your attention. Focus on what you can do at home, or hobbies.
If you find this funny, get a life because you don’t have one.
Don’t need to be torn. Neither of you are in the wrong. His career takes him away from home and he doesn’t wanna change that or can’t fine. And you can choose what you wanna deal with. I wouldn’t deal with it either.
Leave before kids, if you have them already then deal with it.
Do the man a favor and go
Hunny, walk away now. Your instincts r CORRECT & VALID!!
I was a single mom my entire 8 yr marriage!!
I raised our 2 boys alone, went to all events, sports, functions, school stuff alone ALLL the time.
Teachers didn’t believe dad was in the picture most of the time cause they NEVER met him or heard from him, he NEVER picked a child up ever, never took or picked up a child for sports, events, etc. Kids drew pics of just me with them, talked about just me with them when they talked about something we did or went.
He worked very long hours & with his buddies most weekends.
So ya, I was a single mom my entire marriage.
My husband worked on the road for a year of my oldest son’s life he misses out on my pregnancy and we got to see him on the weekends. He did what he had to to provide for our family yeah it was rough for me and our son but once we got into a ruteen we did great. Now my husband works in town amd is home at night some nights he’s home late. If you can’t handle that it’s best to walk away now before having any kids. I would rather my man reach his dreams and provide then struggle to make ends meet. Being a married single mom is such bull crap thing if he’s providing everything and working endlessly to give you the life you deserve while you care for the kids and the home you should be thankful yes it’s had its very draining I know I’ve been do this for 4 years but I get to see my babies everyday and I love my man so much he’s a great father and when he’s home he does everything in his power to help me and spend time with our boys.
If he didn’t have a job you would complain and he has a job and you still complain. Was he on the road when you got married? Did you that he wanted to have a job like that when you married him? Depends on the job can’t you go with him once in a while like if he’s a truck driver. I’d he’s on like road construction and stays in one place for a while take the kids and me a motel where he’s at.
So he’s working and your kids don’t see him often… if you leave and divorce him your kids also won’t see him often
You want a busy man or a broke man?
He takes care of you and your children. Some don’t see their spouse for months. Example- military
Be greatful. It could always be worse
You don’t sound so torn to me lol sounds like he isn’t the match for you 
Find someone who probably has less money, but will be at home with you more often
Does he understand you are struggling with this? Also my dad was a truck driver and I don’t care I won’t date at truck driver. My dad was fine till the trips became longer and longer. Yes there was money so my mom could stay home. But I would rather be getting barely anything and still see my dad. Money can’t by that. But she was burnt out. When dad was home he was tired and grumpy and never nice. We hated it. I begged them to divorce. Its really hard but tell him all the reasons. If you haven’t already.
Yes it is okay to end a relationship over work schedule.
Is there a potential for him to be demoted from the position he has acquired if he chooses to revise the availability of his schedule? Some employers have stipulations to maintain the position you hold. He may be fearful that if he steps back, it would open the door to financial difficulties, especially around the holiday season. Is your husband neurodivergent? I know personally, for me, any disruption to my routine- no matter how big or small- will cause me to spiral for about a week. I definitely understand the whole “if I have to do it alone, I might as well be alone” mentality.
I have a friend who works 3 jobs… she has a boyfriend whom has been u employed for as long as I’ve known him. She pays ALL their bills (including bills he’s acquired on his own, without her), groceries, goes to the laundry mat (joys of apartment living), etc… all while her boyfriend sits home 24/7 playing an Xbox and pissing into empty soda bottles because he’s too lazy to walk 10 steps to the bathroom, leaving trash/wrappers/etc for her to pick up and dispose of like she’s his damn mama.
There needs to be compromise and understanding on both ends, otherwise the one’s that will end up suffering the most, will be your children.
so, are you thinking a replacement will be better at being home with kids that are not even his??? Just wondering about your thoughts here?
Don’t you dare take half his stuff because he worked hard to provide for you and the kids
Well sounds like there going to be without dad either way.
I would hate not seeing my husband. Having him not be a part of the big stuff.
If you agreed with one thing and then he changed his mind. That’s kinda bs. But then again my (?). Is can you guys afford him doing less hrs. I mean is he the only one working?
Cause now your gonna need to get a job. Or work more hrs so now your gonna miss stuff. 
Let him go to someone who is more understanding before you cheat on him. Yeah I said it 
So you don’t currently have children and you are concerned that he won’t be home more once you do? What if his goal is to pay for a home and get in a good financial position before having children, so he can be home more. I think you should try counseling where the right questions are being asked by an unbiased participant. When you come at him with demands instead of mediation, you’ve put yourself in poor position for bargaining .
I’m curious as to how he is when he’s home.
Is he a loving husband and father who spends his free time with you and the kid(s) or does he spend this free time “relaxing” or out with his friends, doing what he wants to do?
There is a difference in a hard working family man and a hard working single man.
You would be a married single mom if he was lazy and didn’t do anything around the house or with the kids. You’re not a single married mom because you tend to the child(ren) while he’s out working.
You can end a relationship for whatever reason… or no reason at all… but to leave a man that you say you adore, because he works hard, sounds idiotic.
My husband and I see each other on Saturday afternoons and Sundays… sometimes. Other times, he has to leave on Fridays or Sundays to head out of town for work. I’m not going to leave him because he’s out busting his ass to help provide for his family.
2-3 days a week of work!!! You guys must be loaded if that’s all you need to work to survive!!! How long and often are you away working each day ??
Is he the primary bread winner? How do you plan on supporting yourself after you leave him, other than the obvious child support.? I understand the lonely feeling that you have, but in a world of inflation maybe he’s afraid of failing his family financially?? I would absolutely love to work 2-3 days a week, but unfortunately I have to feed, dress, house and support my family and my significant other and I could never do that on part time hours ! My children are with my mom most days (doesn’t mean im an absent parent or a slavking parent) but I couldn’t just drop my hours and my job and expect to still live comfortably! I hope you reconsider your choice, your next man will probably have to work just as much !!
So you don’t work and he does and your complaining ? Get a job and help!
“I want a man who makes a lot of money, but I’m not willing to never see him” woman are fucking delusional. Y’all want a man who makes $100k+ a year. But won’t put up with a 100k+ a year work schedule. What? You think big earners work 9-5? Living in delusion.