I have a second grader who isn’t a problem child. He’s just not thinking. He’s talking aggressively in class, and I can’t stop it. He’s also stole a Woody doll from the daycare I work at. THESE ARE ALL NATURAL CHILD THINGS TO DO SO before you so rudely judged it’s normal behavior, just behavior I won’t accept and plan on stopping immediately. Please please give me ideas of how to punish him where it sticks in his brain. He won’t do it anymore, or at least for a while. I’d love nothing more than to hide his ass and drive him down the road picking up trash all day, but the fact is spanking doesn’t work on him, and my daughter has an ear infection and pink eye. I can’t have her outside in this heat with our car not having AC. Please send ways you punish your older children without spanking them.
Ground them ? Take away all their toys & until they behave they dont get any of them back.
Grounding him is the only other option it seems like.
Take away all the things he likes to do. tv, games etr. until he understands good behavior.
I went old school on my nephew who is 10. Sentences about being disrespectful. Everytime the behavior is repeated, add more sentences. I started with 25.
Talk to him ground him make him do chores… take his stuff away…
2nd grade… Tbat isnt normal behavior. I just wanna let you know. You need to take everything away and child needs chores and a disciplined schedule.
My son LOVES soccer, we take that away if necessary. Take away toys and make him do chores to earn them back. No electronics. Sentences. Push ups and wall squats.
Grounding him. But before you do, have a heart to heart talk with him. He’s old enough to understand why he’s gonna be grounded, why it’s not on what he does and most importantly how it makes you and those affected feel. These reactions could possibly be him calling out for attention. And don’t forget that no matter how upset you are with him, tell him you love him.
Make him return the doll himself and apologize. Also have him write a letter of apology.
My child is three and she does all these things! Even tells me to stop it cause she will punch me. I make her help me clean, pick up toys and scrub the tub, wipe all door handles and anything I know she can do well. It gets her in a good mood for a few hours and she acts right, then forgets
I’ve used grounding, writing the same sentence like “I will follow the rules and think of other people’s feelings” however many times you feel will stay in their head, writing an apology AND giving it to said person, and I give my children extra chores (cleaning the trim in my house, picking up all dirty laundry, emptying trash cans in the bathrooms, and so on). I also have a talk with my kid before their “consequence” and after. Making sure they understand why it’s important to do the right things.
Think about why your mind goes straight to punishment? Have you tried a thing called positive reinforcement? Reward positive behavior and focus on that, not the negative behavior. If you have to write a whole post asking for good punishments, you really have it set in your mind you are going to “get” this kid… do you wonder where his negative behavior may be coming from? Hmmm.
Take away all his fav toys/tablet ect and tell him he can earn they back with good behavior. Any bad behavior add on another day.
My parents always grounded me and took everything away. Except books. I did take a toy from my cousin once when I was 3 or 4, and my mom made me take it back to her and I had to give her 5 of my toys. Not the ones I didn’t play with anymore but 5 of my favorite toys. I never took anything again.
My son was about 2-3 when he took a piece of candy from the store without asking so I went back in paid for said sorry and then made him throw it away and didn’t anything else that day and now he’s 12 and hasn’t done it since it was a one time thing so far thank God
I have a second grader … that isn’t normal behavior… stealing? … I would go sit in class with mine …make sure everything being done right … and he not being rude not talking when not suppose to … Then he would return the toy and apologize to everyone that runs the daycare and make him explain that he’s apologizing for stealing and then extra chores … Stealing is something you teach younger than 6-7 years old … my opinion
You have to find his niche… what his prize posession is. Some kids do better with ignoring the bad and over obsessing the good “positive reinforcement”. Some kids a stern chat and time out work.
With my almost 6 year old taking her ipad and TV privileges away work. When she didnt follow the rules on the bus (she is a kindergartener and this was her first year) I drove her to and from school a couple of days and explained that if she couldnt follow the bus rules she wouldnt be on it. We havent had an issues since putting her back on the bus because she loves riding the bus and I took that away. When she was acting up in class, I took her cheerleading away and explained that we can only cheer for our school if we follow the rules in school.
With my 2 year old the time out/ stern chat concept works.
I would start with finding what he cares about the most and taking that item or privilege away. Explain that “you did this unaccepatable behavior and this is whats going to happen.” I talk to my girls because i want them to think about things before they do it, i want them to think about… is this going to get me in trouble… not think about weighing the consequences out to see if its worth getting into trouble. I believe in discipline over punishment. A disciple is a student- so you want to teach them right from wrong. Punishment is just a penalty for bad behavior. It sounds like you never instilled discipline and now all you can do is punish. I would start from square one.
First I would ground that little butt and then i would put him in a structured activity that teaches discipline and self control. I put my girl in karate after noticing her little attitude started to peak. She has a lot more self disciple and structure and the behaviors stopped. If that doesn’t work then make him do a wall sit for x amount of time for each offense. Physical activity helps I promise.
It’s not natural for 2nd grader to steal, he should know better.
Start with making him take the toy back to daycare and telling them what he did and apologize. Then you ground him. I also agree with finding some sort of physical activity for him. His aggressiveness might just be bc he has so much energy he isn’t burning it all and it’s frustrating.
If he steals have him return the thing himself and say he’s sorry. Oh and I think it stinks that you would like to “hide” him, I’m assuming you mean tan his hide. I would never want to do that to my child.
Make them write sentences. Make him return the toy to the director of the daycare and vocally face to face apologize. Ground him to something we always did the girls to dad and the boys to mom then we made sure we did went somewhere we knew they hated. Works better for teenagers. Dad always went fishing and I wondered to craft stores buying nothing looking at everything.
That is not normal behavior for a 2nd grader. Ive only had to threaten a harsh punnishment on my 10 year old (4th grade) and its because shes at that stage where she thinks she knows everything… Even though she is very responsible. I told her she could pick one outfit that she was responsible to wash every day for a week after wearing it and everyrhing else would be taken out of her room. That worked instantly. The thought of her freedom over a simple thing like picking her own clothes out every day changed her attitude very quickly. Sometimes they just need to be reminded how much freedom they have and how many privileges they have that they dont want to loose.
Ok I’m glad to hear you say spanking does not work cause it doesnt especially on a 2nd grader whom I assume is 7? Does he have a tablet or other gaming device? Take his game for about 30 minutes or dont let him watch TV each time he acts out add 10 minutes. Or have him do extra chores around house. Also talk to him see what’s bothering him you may be surprised what he tells you. Good luck
Idk my kids do t act like that.
That is not Normal behavior. Idk where you got that from.
Have him personally return the woodie doll. Let him know how much real trouble he can get into if he does it again. As far as class goes u can get him into counsling and have them talk with him or u could go and sit with him until he acts right! Prayers mama!
They need to take care of it at school with a punishment bc it’s him testing boundaries at school punishment at home at this age I don’t think would really effect it yet as far as the Woody doll make him return it and apologize to the teacher
We use to have to shake down my grandson.when he left day care everyday… he grew out of it. He is now 16 and a great kid!
I made my girls write sentences or copy the whole multiplication table from 0x0 to 12x12. They all have nice handwriting and know their multiplication.Every time they cry, mouth, or any attitude add 5 more copies to whatever number you decide… And when they are done writing them, Rip them and throw in trash so they can’t reuse for next punishment. It’s not fitting for every misbehavior but does work especially if they are having a hard time with something in school.
My son responds well with taking away tv and video games. Have him return the toy & apologize unassisted, then you take away 3 of his toys for a week. No electronics
Literally all day in the corner.
Stand for 30mins, sit for 30mins.
Scrub the toilets, walls, floor.
I have a ten year old and I make him run what he thinks is A mile. It’s not even a 8th but after he does it 2 times he is done. Grounding is ok but not nearly as effective. He sees a counselor and when he acts out at school he gets extra time to talk to her and he hates it! I have stripped his room except one outfit of my choosing. He hates jeans. Taking away video games and monitoring what he plays and he is forced to sit right next to me
Make him take the doll back and explain why he took it. He really needs to come to terms with the “why” and understand “why” it was wrong, “why” it is necessary to return it, and “why” he should be punished.
Rudeness scale. When he says something mean or uncalled for, ask him how he would feel if someone spoke to him that way. Then ask him where it would be on the Rudeness scale 1-10. You may need to help him the first few times to get him to fully understand. I’ve done this with my 2nd grader and it has worked wonders! It helps them to think about what they say BEFORE they say it.
1 obviously make him apologize and return what he stole. 2 find out the reason why he did it and 3 take away electronics for 1 week and make him do chores that normally he doesn’t do ex: help with dishes take trash out help with laundry etc.
That’s not normal…where did you get that from?
All of you saying her child is not normal are living in a bubble. I used to work in childcare…its not right…but a lot of them do steal. If they continue to after getting in trouble…I’d consider that to be a problem.
Stealing is not a normal habit!!
Stealing isn’t normal what so.ever. make.him return the doll alone. Then take his favorite thing from him! Explain that kids at daycare love the woody doll and how would he feel if someone took.his favorite thing away
Y’all are getting caught up on the word stealing.
He’s young and doesn’t care to understand his consequences yet. He didn’t go to the store and jack a $100 toy now . Calm down.
Kids make mistakes, that’s what makes them kids
The fact that you shout about aggressive behavior and stealing as normal child behavior, and also state that you won’t stand for such behavior is telling.
Work with the school to come up with a behavior plan where he receives a consequence at school and communication is sent home to you and he will recieve another predetermined consequence at home. Start by taking away the things he loves. Video games, dessert, play time with friends, a beloved toy, etc. Obviously he has to return what he stole and apologize. He has to tell you why he makes poor choices and write or share what choices he can make instead.
Expected behavior and consequences need to be laid out in plain view for EVERYONE (on the fridge?) so the list or chart can be referred to as needed and there’s never any surprise when it’s time for consequences.
Follow through is non-negotiable FOR YOU.
And MOST IMPORTANTLY, you CANNOT make excuses for this child. Idc what is wrong with him. If his daddy left, if he has ADHD, if he was raped at age 2. Idc. There is NO excuse for speaking “aggressively” to others, or stealing. You need to understand that before you can expect him to understand that. Getting defensive about your child has NO place in discipline. So get over it.
Whoever told you that is normal behavior must have some shitty kids Yes kids do stupid things but being an asshole and a theif is not normal kid behavior.
You think a child stealing is natural?
If that’s the case leave it alone and maybe he’ll grow out of it?
I have no idea how you came to that conclusion but at his age he should know better than to take something that doesn’t belong to him especially if you’ve pointed out that it wasn’t an accident. If you can’t have him doing any punishments outside then drive him down to the police station and have an officer talk to him.
If he’s saying rude things have his principal talk to him about his consequences if he doesn’t stop.
Writing lines, and not worrying when they say their hand hurts. ( when they say it hurts, say, “this is what happens when you steal, 10 more lines and you can be done”. Be very very stern as well. Never break.and never go back on your word. If you say "___ is your punishment ", then do it. Always. I have mine do a full page single spaced (if it’s a real bad thing its front and back of the page) The line is in regards to what he did wrong (ex: stole the toy) “I will not steal anymore, it’s not nice” for example.
Also you can have him write an apology letter to the daycare for stealing, or to the teacher for being aggressive. He has to read it out loud to her (not in front of other kids, since that can be embarrassing…dont wanna do that.)
Or, my absolute favorite…CHORES. oh, the joy of chores lol. I make them scrub the tub, clean the baseboards, clean the toilet, scrub the bathroom floor (bucket, soap and a scrubber) then they have to dry it with a towel. I check after each chore is “done” and if it’s a horrible job, I explain how to correct it and they have to fix it.
This sounds horrible. I’m a mean mommy…but my kids know not to fuck around hahahhahaha. I dont play. Manners are very important to me, and it’s a big thing I feel is important to install into my kids. I’ve never hit my kids, not ever. I scare them with the BOOMING mom voice. Hahahhahaha
Im not even sorry. Lol.
Good luck mama. It gets more fun as they grow. Mine are now grade 4 and grade 7.
My husband is from a military background so he makes the older ones do push ups or run in place. It exercise and a punishment.
Perhaps he’s bored in class? He might not be challenged by the work.
As for stealing…take away something that he loves while he’s sleeping. When he notices, talk with him about his feelings. Wait at least 2 weeks before returning it to him, if at all.
A lot of kid’s parents have had to drag them back in a store to give back what they took and apologize. Idk who says stealing isn’t normal but a lot of kids do it for a lot of different reasons.
Heidi Lane Agreed! Every child does it at least once in their lives regardless if parents noticed it or not!
Make your child return it and apologize! Then make him pick something he likes of his own to donate to the daycare for what he’s done! My son is also a very talkative child and has been in trouble for years, spankings don’t work either! I made the teacher move his seat next to her and it helped for a while then when that didn’t work anymore he had to put his desk in the hall! We tried many things and nothing worked but finally one day he finally stopped in 4th grade his also started in 2nd grade! Sorry I don’t have a solution but your not alone it will get better!
Time out in my house is nose in the corner touching the wall, hands clasped behind the back. Every time my child takes something that doesn’t belong to them around the house, I tell them “do not take what is not yours” and have them repeat it back to me. That way they are less likely to take something home from the store, because they know they arent allowed to have it. Make a huge deal out of the fact that he stole the woody doll, explain to him that adults go to jail for stealing, and put him in time out. Then make HIM return the woody doll and apologize for stealing it. At 7 he can grasp that stealing is wrong and should never be done again. Don’t listen to the other moms saying its not normal, every child steals once, then they find out its wrong and don’t do it anymore. If they don’t it’s because they saw a sibling steal and get in trouble it, and learn from their siblings mistake.
Make him return it, and make him sit in his room to think about what he did wrong. Children shouldn’t be aggressive or steal anything. That’s not normal behavior. That’s acting out.
The problem is that you think it is normal behavior. I have 4 kids and have never dealt with that.
Theft isn’t ‘normal’
U know just stealing… normal behavior… same parents when they do something crazy and go to jail one day… my kids innocent. Correct your mindset first, you’re raising our future generation, let’s do better.
I mean a kid steals at least once in their life. I did I stole a pretty fake flower when I was a kid and when my parents found out they disclipine me and made me return it and apologize. Stealing can be “normal” as a first offense, but if they keep doing it then obviously you’re not doing something right. Sorry but it’s true. I never stole again after that one incident. The only reason I even said it was “normal” btw is because if not really taught early and constantly talked about then yeah it’s “normal” for a kid to steal something they want. Otherwise no it’s not normal. You’re going to have some difficult times if you find this normal now and dont learn to disclipine correctly. Take his toys and make him sit on his room, make him return it and apologize, make him know what is wrong about it and spank him anyways and use your voice. Your tone will tell him your upset as well.
Maybe you need to learn the difference between punishing and disciplining before you decide to do anything, there’s a big difference. You want to raise a respectful man not a convict, and punishment with no correction doesn’t fix a problem, discipline with education teaches right from wrong.
So a second grader stealing isn’t normal at all. You need to sit and have a serious talk about actions and consequences. And take away something he really cares about for a while.
My 5yo daughter stole the kindergarten teachers rainbow ball because a few days beforehand she’d broken her light bulb in her room throwing a ball inside, So I put the lot in the bin after 10,000th “Don’t throw balls inside” warning.
I caught her trying to take it back in her bag the next morning. She totally stole, But in her innocent mind it was borrowing and I felt bad, But she lost her own balls for not listening to begin with and that’s on her. I nearly died when she told the teacher she had no toys at home though because I’d thrown them all in the bin CHILD, YOU HAVE SO MANY TOYS I CAN’T KEEP UP
I don’t see this as normal behavior, But I can see she’s struggling to distinguish between borrowing/stealing, truth/stretch so we will talk about that as best we can.
I will agree , taken things that don’t belong to you, even as a second grader, is not normal. And he is old enough to be taught that. As for talking aggressively in class, maybe hyper?? Look to see what you are feeding him. A lot of processed foods, foods with artificial coloring that is put into them, too much sugar??? Also with the taken things that aren’t his, take away computer/cell phone time, make him read a book…that is a good one, Sit down & talk to him & see what is going on that makes him want to act this way. Explain to him, even though he is young, this is not how he should be acting
Your first issue is believing that a 2nd grader stealing is normal.
That’s a problem also by that age your child should have more control over their tongue, yet another ‘problem’
These issues need to be talked about and taught the opposite of from a young age. My 3.5 year old know that stealing is absolutely NOT OK. She also knows that because there are so many rude people/kids in the world that it is her job to be one of the nice ones.
Because she was raised and taught those things.
Nothing about your child’s behaviour is normal. But if that were my child they get a good spank and grounding.
Ground him. Stick him in his room all day after school with no toys and no tv/electronics. Have him come out for dinner and one potty break every two hours. He wants to act like a bad boy then he can be treated like one. This behavior of his is not normal.
My son has had similar issues…he has never stolen anything but has tried …candy …I had the clerk explain what happens when you steal from a store so it wasnt just mom griping and it helped alot he never tried again I made him appoligize as well
So your saying that if your other child didn’t have the pink eye and an ear infection that you would drive him down the road picking up trash!?
Make him return the toy and say sorry. Maybe make them write out 100x i dont take toys. Make him say sorry for the way he talks. And help him with the right way to repsond. To what so eone else says
Well I read dont take away their electronics take away their charging cords tell them to watch while their power dies
Why would you go in with the mindset that a child should be punished for doing something developmentally normal? That’s not very fair to the child.
There must be a reason he’s talking aggressively in class. Is there a kid bullying him? Does he not get along with the teacher? What’s his snacks/lunch consist of?, because sugar can play a factor. Find the root of the problem, meet the need, and the behaviour will change.
As for the stealing, anyone who says this isn’t normal just doesn’t grasp the concept that kids at that age still lack impulse control to some degree. I would rethink this whole “punishment to obtain obedience” type thinking though and approach the situation with more compassion, otherwise he might just learn how to be more sneaky about it next time.
Here’s a link on a more compassionate way to handle a child who steals:
Since when is stealing normal behavior? My 5 yr old stole something from a convenience store one time when he was 4. He took it back and had the fear of God put into him that he’d go to jail Your first mistake is thinking it’s normal
Make him take the woody doll back and you wait in the car while he does it. He will remember next time. Old enough to know stealing is wrong. Call the day care first but don’t tell him you called.
Honestly I see no problem with him stealing, but only because he’s in second grade. I took my son’s favorite stuff taken away and had his dad talk to him because he seems to react better to him then with me. But seriously y’all need to lock that stuff down. Good luck
In MY opinion, Every child needs different types of discipline. My daughters are grown with children of their own but I’ll list different things that have been tried lol.
Sentences. Make return toy and apologize. Apologize to teacher. Extra chores. No play until teacher says better. Reward for good days something that can add up with each good day.
Take a tip from my grandparents, have him clean the bathroom till its spotless. Bathtub, sink, toilet, floor. Give him more chores than his sister. Have him do the dishes after dinner, keep him busy and he can’t go play till its done! Been doing chores since I was in preschool and cleaning the bathroom was always something my grandparents had me do, my parents didn’t make me but when I stayed with my dads parents I had to. Also vacuuming the house is not wise for an 2nd grader they will clog the vacuum!
Stealing natural behavior?
The first time my child tried to carry a doll out of class at 3 I sat her down and told her taking what is not ours is wrong and it’s stealing now go put it back!
for stealing… take his favorite toy… let him see it… and explain that he stole that so your taking this to replace what he stole… and have a serious talk about what he is now feeling having lost his favorite toy and how it must feel for the person he stole from… let him put 2 and 2 together… with his mouth at school… have you tried the reward board.?? so many days of not using that language you get this… if you use that language you lose this…?
We write lines in my house!!
My husband used to make our older ones write out the Ten Commandments!
that took a little bit!! and then they’d have to tell us which commandment they broke!!
I have a 4th grader and hes never thought of stealing or has never spoke aggressively at school. I’m not sure if its normal. Hes spoke aggressively at home but not at school. You could try some counseling they might help you guys get to the bottom of why hes acting this way. We did that and it helped
For my 11 yr old. She writes sentences, stands in a corner, well time out room ie the laundry room where she cant see TV or anything, hold a heavy book for a period of time (she hates this one), also I give her extra chores or make her carry a bunch of different things up and down the stairs (littles things, like a water bottle or a basket of her laundry) etc.
Have him write a apology letter to the DC… for taken the toy…now when my son was in kindergarten he was being a bully to the kids and spanking didn’t work…so I had a cop talk to my son… and it worked…
Stealing is not normal behavior. Thinking that way is problem #1.
I try to use the word “consequence” because it can be positive or negative. A positive reinforcement can be something the child works toward, or if they’re young/special needs you can give it right away. While you can’t ignore most negative behaviors in a 2nd grader, you must make the consequence relate to the “crime.” (Age dependent.). I remember when I was five, I threw rocks deliberately to break a neighbor’s window, not to be mean, I didn’t understand about money or damaging others’ property. My parents took me to the person’s home and apologize, and I was embarrassed. Fast forward to teenage years: I misused my car to skip school- consequence? No car for a week or so. My kids hit each other and fight, etc… you’re not allowed to be near each other until you understand how to play nicely with respect (taking turns). It’s hard because sometimes as the parent you have to be a constant umpire! But I like to use that word consequence- also positive reinforcement works way better than negative. When my kids act appropriately, their “consequence” might be staying up a little late, a small edible treat… (most) every action should always have a consequence, good or bad.
When you post stuff like this you just set yourself up for criticism. Don’t you have a friend you can talk to or Google? Take away his favorite thing. Give him chores. More active lifestyle. More good attention. Hopefully you made him return the doll with a written apology.
positive reinforcement, definitely sounds like acting out for the attention because bad attention is better than no attention at all.
First off children DO NOT STEAL unless they have never been taught if its not yours dont touch or take it!
Maybe he is acting out because mom is busy with little sibling.