Fan question
Seeking potty training regression advice.
Okay, so I am a stepmother to two amazing kids. They leave in the summer for their moms and stay with us during the school year. I potty trained the youngest who is 3 (he will be 4 in December) back in May. He went to his moms and they both came back peeing themselves. Not sure why. The youngest also will poop his pants. I got the oldest to stop (he will be 5 in February). But the youngest lies to me and says no I didn’t do it and will sit in it. If I don’t notice his pants are dirty he will sit and not say one word. Or in the morning he will lay in bed and pee and poop himself because he “doesn’t want to get out of bed”. Now I don’t understand this at all because our youngest just turned 3 and he just potties trained. If he has an accident he’s crying and wanting his pants off. The older two will sit in it. I don’t know how to stop him from just laying in bed and peeing all over himself! Or pooping. He’s very stubborn but he understands what he’s doing. I have tried talking to their mom but she just says they’ve done that for her too. I’m like why they didn’t use to do this? I want to help him and understand why he’s doing it. There’s got to be a reason I’m sure. I’m just so stressed over it. It’s not them acting out toward me I don’t believe because they love me and tell me they want to stay here forever so I just don’t get it. I know I’m more strict than their mother but that’s because with soon to be four kids under four I have to be strict. I just don’t think expecting an almost-four-year-old to get out of bed and pee is too much. When he doesn’t do it except when I let him sleep in.
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Maybe wake him up a little early and make him go? He will eventually get into the habit of waking at a certain time and going alone.
Try rewards again and physically pick him up and tell him to go potty
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Make them wash out their dirty underwear. Also wake him up and take him straight to bathroom.
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Maybe they’re just overwhelmed with the whole moving back and forth…
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Ask Gentle Parents Unite! They have INCREDIBLE advice. This is definitely an emotional/psychological thing!
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Maybe make him change his sheets and if you have a waterproof sheet on his mattress make him wash it up with a wipe or something
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My almost four year old had regressed at nighttime and started peeing his pants at night and it went on for several weeks but then he recently started getting up at night again. He stated that it was too dark to use the bathroom when nothing had changed apparently became afraid of the dark so got a brighter light and stopped peeing his pullup at night. Not saying that’s what your children’s problem for regression are but they will overcome it just stay positive, they will stop in time, just keep reinforcing it.
Start the potty training again. The mom obviously didn’t care. Wake him up first thing in the morning and walk him to the bathroom until he goes. Tell him you expect him to use the potty and not dirty his pants. Kids can understand your words, just reinforce them with your actions.
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Could something horrible have happened to them while they were with mom.
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Could something have happened there
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This is very common among kids with anxiety issues. They lack control over getting passed between households (which isnt necessarily bad) but this is something that they and only they can control. Honestly finding a play therapist would be your best bet. (This comes from working with in the foster care system for years, and this is a super common problem among kids removed from their primary home between the ages of 3 and 6)
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I would start potty training again and set these two an appointment with a child psychologist. If these children are telling you that they want to stay with you forever this maybe a cry for help and there way of saying dont make me go with her any more. Good luck and God Bless you all.
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Sounds like mom is real lazy
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Well, I don’t think it is their bio mom either. I think the kids are sensing things. You didn’t hide it very well in this post so I’m sure they pick up on some animosity. Kids aren’t dumb. They are acting out due to the adults. I guarantee it.
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They may be upset that they went somewhere else and stayed for so long. They can’t control their living arrangements but they can control the poop and pee and this may be their way of trying to control something. If they are used to being with you most of the year then going to someone else’s home for so long at a time with seeing you is gonna be stressful to them no matter who it is they are going to see. New rules, new environment, and they may miss their, furniture their beds, even the noises and smells in your home… Not to mention you and Daddy
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My kids live with me during the school yr and go to their dad and step moms during the summer. My daughter has nvr had any issues, but my son was. Turns out his dad let’s him watch much scarier stuff then I ever would, like 5 Nights of Freddie, and he was rlly scared to pee when it was dark or if no1 else was awake. I got him a flashlight… We used a nightlight for a while but 1 night the power went out and my poor dude was traumatized… He carried a flashlight to pee until about 6m ago.
Rewards worked for us as well. 1 candy for pees and 2 for poops.
Sounds like some trauma tbh. They might be scared to tell you. Sounds like maybe you should have them see an age appropriate counselor and if nothing comes of it maybe it’s just the change.
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Just introduce rewards for not peeing and pooping the bed. And also for going potty when they need to. You can offer a nightlight and no liquids for 2 hours before bed as well. Repotty train. Tell them the new baby is coming and they need to be a good example. It worked with mine anyway.
Sounds like mom was super lazy, and just didnt care. Just start again. Make a chart, and have some rewards. Whatever works for you. That sucks though.
Sounds fishy to me. Something happened.
Wait… did I read this right.,. Just trying to understand … your husband has a 3 year old and a 5 year old… and you share a 3 year old together
She probably put diapers on them so she didnt have to bother with them
Does she maybe keep an overnight diaper or pull-up on them and expect them to stay in bed until they are allowed to get up each day… I’ve seen that a lot with Moms that want to make it easier on themselves.