Iāll try to keep this short while giving the important info. So my husband and I have been together for 4 years. We have a pretty good relationship in every way, except two areas and one is his family. I met my husband through his sisters (twins) we will call them A and K. Well A and I were best friends prior to me knowing my husband. I was super involved in her childrenās lives, they spent weeks every year with me, I called and talked to them 4-5 times a week, she would even joke her youngest son was mine because he would only sleep for me. So A and her in laws have a really abusive unhealthy relationship and they basically control every aspect of her life including the money she makes, her house/car etc. admittedly by her choice and her husbands. I wonāt dive into that but just to give you an idea of how sick that situation is.
So last October someone called adult protective services on As mother in law. Myself and K were blamed by the mother in law and she pulled all of our access to the kids. So A obviously didnāt want her twin sister to be the problem so she blamed it on me to the mother in law. Well at this point Iām engaged to her brother (their uncle) and heās not allowed to see them anymore either. I tried to resolve the issue and she literally put her hands in front of her face and said āIām not allowed to talk to anyoneā. Ok so at that point Iām furious because my children lost their best friends and cousins, I lost my nephews and of course my husband was super upset. At the end of the day itās her choice and I gladly accepted her terms of stay out of my life. Great no issue.
Well my father in law, whom my husband and I were both really close with prior to this, just canāt mind his own business. On top of that the twins have never been able to do anything wrong. So flash forward to April of this year and we send out invites for our wedding that took place in June. So my father in law gets all bent out of shape that A wasnāt invited. K was but not A. So we both made it extremely clear that we didnāt want her there and she made the choice to not be in our lives so why would she come to our wedding? Well my father in law decided to give her the information anyway and tell A āshe wasnāt invited because we didnāt think she would show up but we wanted her thereā
So K brought A with her (we had an outdoor ceremony) so they positioned themselves right behind my husband so when I stood in front of him I could see them unintentionally. They spent the whole ceremony taking selfieās, left halfway through and when they were finished they posted online āwhat a jokeā my ceremony and marriage was. So obviously Iām pissed off like beyond belief and my husband refuses to stand up for me at all.
Thatās the issue here. He tells everyone what they want to hear. He told me he was gonna handle this situation and make it clear the disrespect wonāt be tolerated and itās now 4 months later and nothings been done which has caused issues with us. I knew it was a possibility of her showing because of how heated his dad was and I made it clear my expectation long before the wedding. So i refuse to have anything to do with his dad and sisters and my husband has repeatedly voiced this boundary also over the last few months. Well his dad texted him yesterday asking for something naturally because thatās all he knows how to do. My husband then informs me he will be leaving for work early today to drive the 45 min to give his dad some $5 fishing line and ātell him this stuff in personā Which has been done already twice now. I honestly feel like my husband will never stand up for me or be the protector in our relationship. Yāall heās a fricken police officer for one of the most dangerous cities in the country and he refuses to stand up for his wife when i honestly donāt think Iāve done anything wrong here and he admits I havnt done anything wrong. So itās clearly not the fact that heās incapable because he puts his life on the line for strangers, but he wonāt even get a little uncomfortable and have a serious chat or put up boundaries with his family about how his wife is treated. Itās just so disappointing to me and I feel lied to to be honest.