Total loss 😩 please help

I’ll try to keep this short while giving the important info. So my husband and I have been together for 4 years. We have a pretty good relationship in every way, except two areas and one is his family. I met my husband through his sisters (twins) we will call them A and K. Well A and I were best friends prior to me knowing my husband. I was super involved in her children’s lives, they spent weeks every year with me, I called and talked to them 4-5 times a week, she would even joke her youngest son was mine because he would only sleep for me. So A and her in laws have a really abusive unhealthy relationship and they basically control every aspect of her life including the money she makes, her house/car etc. admittedly by her choice and her husbands. I won’t dive into that but just to give you an idea of how sick that situation is.

So last October someone called adult protective services on As mother in law. Myself and K were blamed by the mother in law and she pulled all of our access to the kids. So A obviously didn’t want her twin sister to be the problem so she blamed it on me to the mother in law. Well at this point I’m engaged to her brother (their uncle) and he’s not allowed to see them anymore either. I tried to resolve the issue and she literally put her hands in front of her face and said “I’m not allowed to talk to anyone”. Ok so at that point I’m furious because my children lost their best friends and cousins, I lost my nephews and of course my husband was super upset. At the end of the day it’s her choice and I gladly accepted her terms of stay out of my life. Great no issue.

Well my father in law, whom my husband and I were both really close with prior to this, just can’t mind his own business. On top of that the twins have never been able to do anything wrong. So flash forward to April of this year and we send out invites for our wedding that took place in June. So my father in law gets all bent out of shape that A wasn’t invited. K was but not A. So we both made it extremely clear that we didn’t want her there and she made the choice to not be in our lives so why would she come to our wedding? Well my father in law decided to give her the information anyway and tell A “she wasn’t invited because we didn’t think she would show up but we wanted her there”
So K brought A with her (we had an outdoor ceremony) so they positioned themselves right behind my husband so when I stood in front of him I could see them unintentionally. They spent the whole ceremony taking selfie’s, left halfway through and when they were finished they posted online “what a joke” my ceremony and marriage was. So obviously I’m pissed off like beyond belief and my husband refuses to stand up for me at all.

That’s the issue here. He tells everyone what they want to hear. He told me he was gonna handle this situation and make it clear the disrespect won’t be tolerated and it’s now 4 months later and nothings been done which has caused issues with us. I knew it was a possibility of her showing because of how heated his dad was and I made it clear my expectation long before the wedding. So i refuse to have anything to do with his dad and sisters and my husband has repeatedly voiced this boundary also over the last few months. Well his dad texted him yesterday asking for something naturally because that’s all he knows how to do. My husband then informs me he will be leaving for work early today to drive the 45 min to give his dad some $5 fishing line and “tell him this stuff in person” Which has been done already twice now. I honestly feel like my husband will never stand up for me or be the protector in our relationship. Y’all he’s a fricken police officer for one of the most dangerous cities in the country and he refuses to stand up for his wife when i honestly don’t think I’ve done anything wrong here and he admits I havnt done anything wrong. So it’s clearly not the fact that he’s incapable because he puts his life on the line for strangers, but he won’t even get a little uncomfortable and have a serious chat or put up boundaries with his family about how his wife is treated. It’s just so disappointing to me and I feel lied to to be honest.

Oh honey, I know u love him, but u should have never gotten involved with that family. It sounds like he did what he could to reel u in and dropped the act now he has u. Unfortunately he is never going to stop siding with his family which is wrong I know but that’s the truth. And I hate to say it but I think u need to tell him how u feel, the longer u stay In this situation the more u will grow to resent each other. The cracks are already there and they are only going to get bigger

I’ve told him. Lots of times. It doesn’t change anything he does unfortunately. I asked yesterday if we could go to counseling to fix this and he refused. We just bought a house in July. I’m just really frustrated and hurt. I asked his aunt lastnight for some advice and even she wasn’t optimistic. She basically told me that he is his father and nothing that his dad ever does will be an issue for him so it’s best if I just basically let it go and stop caring about it. I don’t know how to love the rest of my life just not caring about how people treat me and allowing them to get away with it. I appreciate your kind words