I need to vent and get advice, as a situation recently happened and I’m torn on what I should do. Part of me says run like hell, the other says stay.
For context (attempted short version), my boyfriend and I have had a tumultuous relationship. We’ve been together about 2 1/2 years. In that time, my divorce was finalized, he got full custody of his kids, he battled a drug relapse, and I’ve dealt with all of that, along with at least 2 instances of him cheating. We live about 40 minutes apart, and due to busy schedules don’t see each other much. We initially got together in the final months of my divorce being finalized. Unknown to me, he was cheating with me, on his live-in girlfriend (we will call her Nicole) of about 1 1/2 years (she moved in his house 2 months after dating). We found out about each other, I broke up with him, she moved out. To summarize, he apologized, said it was wrong, wanted her out but didn’t want to kick her kids out also.
A few months later we got back together, the distance and schedules played a role again, he was cheating again (I don’t know how much). Then covid, losing his job and getting full custody of his kids all hit. We broke up about 8 months after we had gotten back together. Few months went by again, he swore up and down he had changed (we kept talking but he was still messaging and sending nudes to other women and I was unaware). It all came out when we were still broken up (all this time he kept telling me how much he loved me). He swore he didn’t want to lose me permanently and would change. Fast forward to now (about a year and a half later) and we are here again. All this time I really thought he had changed. Nicole had tried reaching out to him multiple times, he showed me the messages and asked how I wanted it handled. In this 1 1/2 years of “good” we dealt with him relapsing on drugs and recovering from that, cutting out the toxic influences from that, and working on seeing each other more.
Just a few days ago, Nicole sent me a message on Facebook, stating he had been screwing a woman in the town he lives in (he cheated on Nicole with her) We will call her Jennifer. Nicole said the neighbors confirmed Jessica’s car had been at his house, etc. Nicole also said she went back to my bf and drank with him, had sex, found out he was still with me, then was “done.”
I’m torn. I know he has a terrible past and hurt me multiple times. In the last year and a half, he has blocked anything that could be questionable, anything to make me uncomfortable, stopped using most social media, got a new number and is more public about us being together. If we didn’t have the past we did, I’d be likely to believe she’s a scorned ex. BUT, I’m unsure if it’s true or just pot stirring. He swears up and down he hasn’t done anything. I have access to his social media, nothing is there. She’s blocked on all.
What do I do? Do I believe him? Do I leave?