I am trying to decide whether or not to have a second child. Life is crazy enough with one, I worry about how much harder it will be with two. But I also think one day I will wish I had a second and it will be too late. Tell me about your experience! Pros and cons of one vs. two? How did you decide if you were on the fence? How much harder is it going from one to two?
It’s not bad at all having two. I have four and two was a good number
It was a huge change, but a blessing. My daughter just turned 6 years old when I had my second. Things just started to get really easy, and smooth but that all changed when my second came along. Would I change it? Absolutely not. I love my little family, and you will too. And my first born LOVES to watch and help. There is nothing better than seeing your first born so in love with the new baby.
Actually it was easier with two. My oldest kept the younger entertained at times so I was able to do more with two.
I found there was no difference going from one to 2 in fact probably easier
In my opinion, it depends on your support system. When I found out I was pregnant with my second, I was really scared. With my first, I was kicked out my family’s house, and they were against the whole thing…my dad did come around. My support system was my child’s father, his family, my midwife and her family. I was scared my second would be the same, but the father of my second was so perfect. And now, my soon to be 2 year old and my soon to be 4 year old love each other, and I’m glad they have a really close relationship. Yeah, it was hard, and at times, money was tight, but things always have a way of working out.
Don’t do it! Jk two isn’t too bad lol 4 on the other hand
It depends. Are you and your husband financially able to take on another child? Are you a stay at home mother?
I have a two-year-old daughter and I am divorced. My ex-husband does not pay child support and I take care of her all on my own. She’s my pride and joy. I would love to have a son one day but it takes a lot of sacrifice, time, patience, love and money.
Is not bad at all . My son was a baby wen I got pregnant from my daughter and she wasn’t planned either . Both are besties now they love each other and wouldn’t be happy without each other .
2from 1 I hardly noticed. I’ve 5now. Tbf still not bad long as have good routine.
I’m on baby 3. My other 2 are 7yrs and 6months. This 1 is due in October. It’s crazy day to day but worth it
It’s really not as bad as I thought it would be when I found out I was pregnant with the second. It’s honestly easier at times because they occupy the other.
I have three. I had twins 10 months after my singleton. The are now 12, 11 and 11…cant imagine my life any other way
The best gift you can give your child is a sibling
If you have the support for yourself mentally and emotionally do it, two is a great number and will build a great bond.
Coming from single child! Though I tried for more. He would have liked a sibling. Feels he missed out on a lot. And now his parents are getting older & no one to share that responsibility.
Best advice I’ve ever gotten for this question: “You will never regret having another child, but you may regret not having another.”
I have a two year old and a 3 month old and yes it’s exhausting and some days are just so hard, but there is soooooo much love in this house.
My experience? It’s alot harder. My daughter is 2, I just had my son a month ago. It’s been a huge adjustment for all of us. I’m doing it alone right now so that plays a big part BUT everything is different. Trying to balance it all ugh the baths, bottles, laundry, everything in between. If you have a partner and good support I believe you will be ok. I can’t imagine life without them both!
I was having a hard time deciding as well, but I really wanted my son to have a sibling. So decision made!
Think of all the love rewards your first child gave you how proud you are the protection you give the unconditional love the highs the amazing gift of motherhood and double it😉
I thinks it’s just as easy especially the closer they are in age. The second one learns faster in my case. Being financially stable is a plus but even on a strict budget it’s not that bad. As long as you have a support system
My daughter is an only child and we love it!!! We get to do more cool experiences, travel is cheaper, she has close cousins and friends!
I’ve just had my seconds a little girl and I thought it would be ten times harder than just having my little boy and so scared but it’s really not that bad especially if you little ones already got a routine as number two just fits round that … yeh it’s tirering but it’s so worth it when you see them together and I can’t even really remember her not being here x
We were one and done, but I just couldn’t get out of my head that she’d be alone after we were gone. So she’s getting a brother in 18 days I didn’t like being pregnant in the first place, but it’s so much harder with a toddler (and work and pandemic!). She’s almost 3 and so helpful though, I’m hoping it will be easier later, but in the end I’m so happy to give her the experience of a sibling.
That’s like me . I have a 5 yr old and currently pregnant with the 2nd. I just decided that I should give my daughter a sibling.
My two girls are best friends. They do everything together and we are about to add a 3rd girl to the mix as well.
It’s different at first but once you get your routine down it’s great! We have a lot of fun!
I wanted at least 2 so there was no decision to make and life was good. If you’re thinking of it do it and be positive about it. It all works out in the end.
I have one awesome son but wish I would have had another one for him to have here when I’m gone.
I have a son then I was going to wait but now I’m going to have a beautiful daughter and they r going to b 11 months apart. Can’t b any happier, she will b here September. So no matter how close or far apart they r u will never regret it
my sons is 3 in oct and my daughter is 1 on wed 10th and it’s crazy, there are days we’re i wanna scream coz there both playing up or if my daughter is having one of her crazy tantrums n nothing anyone can do, all i have to do it put her on floor and my son will go up to her and lay with her and she stops immediately with a massive grin, and tht moment rite there is y i don’t regret having her so soon, xxx do it and u won’t regret it. best thing ever x
I have the same question except im wondering about going from 2 to 3?? But having my 2nd was easier but a bit stressful until a routine was in place makes a big difference
I had this same question. My daughter just turned 4 on Friday and I am due with a boy this Aug so I guess we will see haha! My daughter is thrilled to have a sibling. I’m hoping the age difference won’t matter much.
If you think you will regret not having a second child later, definitely do it now
I think if you’re unsure that’s your answer. After my second I was unsure. I knew after my third pregnancy I was done. I felt no hesitation on getting my tubes tied. Just follow your instincts.
I have one and the cons is the child will have no one but the parents to play with and will get board easy and lonely all the time and haveing 2 will give the child someone to play with and not get board so easy and they can help each other out on things and help u out u to I wish I could have anther one but caint and it sucks a lot I know someone that has 2 and was like u and she hand a 2 child and she said it was a lot easier on a lot of stuff me I wish I hand anther one so my child could have someone to grow up with and play with and haven one will it’s a lot different if I could I’d have anther one but I caint just think hard about it and good luck and it’s way easier to but good luck
You will appreciate the times you are tired and don’t want to play because the kids will play together and keep each other company… you will not appreciate that they might both be sick at the same time or crying and throwing a tantrum at the same time. With my second I was more organized and prepared mentally so I felt like the first year zoomed by as far as reteaching sleeping in their own rooms and such because I had just done it two years before. I find both my son and daughter share easier with other children and are more tolerant of other children because they have to always share and deal with each other. All in all I would say having 2 is better than one, especially for the loving Kodak moments when you get to see the true love they have for each other as they learn to grow and depend on each other
I had the same thoughts… But I just thought, you know, If I have another I will never regret that baby… But if I don’t have another while I can , I may regret not having one… Roll the dice and hope for the best
I, myself am an only child and I always wished I had a sibling. Growing up I got a lot of attention from my parents but still felt very alone. I always said I would have at least two kids. Currently working on the first!
I spent 2 years weighing up the pros and cons. I’m now 17weeks pregnant and my daughter will be 4 a month after this ones due. X
I only ever wanted 1 baby but after having her she gave me this confidence that I could do another well I have 4 kids now… it’s not harder but just an adjustment and definitely different if you space them out far enough. I would recommend close in age.
if you wait until the older child will be at least 3 to 4 yrs old when baby comes life will be much easier than if they are closer together, it is also difficult if you wait much longer than that. If any doubts have at least one more before getting tubes tied. Of course depends on how your husband feels too.
I have a 17 yr old and 12 and a half yr old. They are 4.5 years apart. It wasn’t bad since they were almost 5 years apart. I now have a 20 month old and 5 and a half month old. They are 14 months apart. I work full time then come home to another full time job lol. It’s hard and I’m always tired especially if they are both in their moods. I just keep telling myself it’ll get easier lol plus they are sooooo worth it.
Had my first at 32. Debates in having another but my first was already 5 and I was 36 so I forgot about the idea. Until one day surprise, I was very upset. My second son was born and is autistic and as hard as it has been I wouldn’t change anything for the world!!!
I actually had an easier time when we had our 2nd than with our 1st. They’re just under 18 months apart.
Well I have 4 so I guess I would say yes do it it’s rough but worth it. Also I had a younger sister we were 6 years apart she’s the only sibling I had and I wish my parents would have had more because I wish I had her to share everything with again just our kids growing up, what we’d be doing in life and eventually taking care of our parents getting older and now I don’t have that and it sucks .
They will always have that best friend if you have a second. It’s crazy for a couple years but then it levels out and is awesome. My boys now 10 and 12!!
In a lot of ways its easier but in other ways its harder. My daughter is almost 5 and my son just turned 2. There are moments when you wonder what you have done and moments when you wouldn’t change it for the world. Just make sure your ready to have your work load doubled. Also my boy is twice as hard as my girl was.
My kids are exactly 3 years apart in age
My daughter is 3 and my son is 7 months old
It was really hard adjusting at first, but with a good routine, it has been a lot better! My son is a pretty cranky kid though so no more for us
Life becomes doubly crazy overnight. Sometime you don’t know which way is up. They’ll both gang up on you and do your head in. But it’s great. I wouldn’t change it for the world. There’s never a good time. Just go for it. You’ll regret it if you don’t if you’re already on the fence.
I have 2 and put it this way if I had my 2nd 1st i would never have had a 2nd lol my 1st son was a breeze (hes 6) compared to my now 1 Yr old, he’s a nightmare but wouldn’t change it for the world lol x
For me second made life easier as far as errands and parks lol and the plus side is they will have a best friend.
But Having 3 …hahahahaha
I chose to have 2 kids 2 years apart. It was hard the first year (diapers & formula) but so worth it. They are close and have similar interests, so that’s easy.
It was just me and my oldest for 6 years till I got pregnant with my youngest. I had NO intention of having another baby, I was very content with having just 1. Now, I have my 2 (youngest being 1) and I’m 5 months pregnant with baby no 3. So much for 1 and done for me
I have 3 children ages almost 6, almost 2 and a half and 16 month old.
I honestly love it yeah it is hard especially as I have a 13 month age gap between my 2 youngest but I love how they have each other and now my 2 year old is starting to play with my eldest it’s so cute my eldest adores her little sister & brother they have little best friends for life. Xx
Well I went from 1 kid to 3 so…yeah there’s that 🤷🏻
I never wanted kids, but my husband changed my mind. We ended up with four children, and I would not change it for the world. My life still flexible, and thankfully we can do whatever we want because my job allows me to have them to come along for some fun stuff. I would say do what works for you. Anything is possible, and if you have two children they will play together, and be friends. If you have just one you can compensate by making play dates. Also keep in mind the cost of living, and necessities for a family of four.
I have four kids an 8 year old almost 3 almost 2 and just turned 1. My youngest three are Irish triplets and I wouldn’t trade it for the world yes it can be hard but ultimately you have to have a good support system with family and or friends mentally be prepared. All four of my kids are close and not just by age but in heart they hate when one goes for a nap and the others are not or when my oldest goes to sleep over they cry screaming her name and vice versa they are truly each others best friends and I love it. My husband and I are discussing when to have another our goal is in two years but there has been talk of maybe sooner. I battle depression and anxiety deeply. But nothing beat getting those hugs and kisses teaching them something or the random I love you mom! Don’t get me wrong it is tough many times but routine is key and like I said support system and being mentally prepared. Mental preparedness is number one as well as emotional if need advice shoot me a message. Best of luck to you momma
Honestly having two wasn’t much different than having one for me. Going from 2 to 3 was a little hard and going from 3 to 4 was really hard. Anything after 4 was not hard though. (I have 6 kids and I’m pregnant with my 7th). Having multiple kids is nice because they can play together and keep eachother busy while you do things around the house.
Two close to gether is good. Two 4 or 5 years apart is like having two single children
I’m a single mum and would love another one. Any single mums that have 2 kids and done it all on there own?
Pros sibling bond is adorable you get another blessing
Cons it is hard to go from one to two but it gets better you learn how to juggle both. I was pretty much a only child cause my sisters we’re grown and I was always asking for a sibling but that was a no my mom was too old to carry another
I have 6 … 3 of each… I am so Thankful they will always have each other. I always say One child is the ultimate child abuse… They learn so much from their siblings.
I have a 9 year old boy and 17 month old girl. My son does so good with her and helps me out so much. So it would also depend on age differences. I personally wouldnt want to have kids 18 months apart and to the mamas that do it your amazing. You may be undecided at the moment but go for it. It will work out and you will wonder how things were before two kids.
I have 2 and it’s easy 1 is hard because it’s your first but after 1 you got everything down to a science! I support you having another!
I had my son 11 years ago. Didn’t want any more. Didn’t plan for any more. Now I have my daughter. She’s 18 months old. They are 10 years apart. And she loves her big brother. He is the best help! I do wish I had her sooner so they could play together
I didn’t plan of having a second at all. I was a one and done mom. I got pregnant with my son totally by accident. He’s 9 weeks old now. Can’t imagine my life without either of them. It’s a different dynamic. My daughter is 4 so she is at the very end of potty training. And the adjustments with both her and I are hard but we are working on it and getting through it. I think it depends also on how old your first is when you have the second. Since mine is 4 she is pretty independent and can entertain herself while I attend to the baby.
Best gift you can give your kid is a sibling! Closer in age the better IMO
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I have a son who’s ten now. He loves it being just the three of us. We are going to retire in about four years (we are 34 and 42) so will take him travelling, spend time together go to all his events in life and support his dreams.
Only children are fine if you give them the emotional support and time to discuss their concerns about life and family.
I wouldn’t have another one because now my husband and I can spend more time together too.
But each to their own, my sister in law has three nearly 20 years apart she loves kids.
It’s up to you. Look at it when they get older they have siblings to share holidays and special occasions with.
I love life with 2! And we plan on having 1 or 2 more. My girls are 7 years apart though so it makes it a lot easier to balance an almost 8 year old and a 9 month old.
It was way easier to go from 1 kid to 2 kids than it was to go from 0 to 1.
2 or 3 isn’t much different than 1. Life didn’t seem too crazy until #4 & 5 came along.
I’m an only child. My Mom always regretted not giving me a sibling. So I’m currently pregnant with baby #2 at 40 so I don’t have the same regret. They’ll be 3 years apart.
The closer together, the better, that way you don’t get used to having a life! Haha. Keep it rolling, the diapers, the lack of sleep, etc. Then, when you’re done, you’re done. I have 6 in 10 years
I ahve a 3 year about to turn 4 and a 1.5 year old. It was a bit hard juggling two at first but watching my oldest help care and love her baby sister made it so worth it. Pros they are close and love to play with each other cons my oldest was use to all the attention so we do have issues dealing with sharing the attention sometimes still
I didnt get to choose, I ended up finding out when I was already 14 weeks along, I already had a 6yr old getting ready to go to school and I was getting ready to have my life back, go to school to finish my degree since I dropped out to take care of my first child.
So in order to have the 2and baby I had to quit my job, sell my car, and prepare myself to be a full time SAHM with no transportation, and their father worked 12hrs a day.
It was a rough transition to go from no more baby stuff to baby everything again, trying to make sure my oldest didnt feel left out or jealous. Baby days from infant to about 1 and a half were easy.
Now my oldest is almost 9 and youngest is 3, they fight all day, they bully eachother, they scream at eachother, they rarely get along, the youngest always wants what the oldest has or the oldest wants to terrorize the youngest.
I’m always having 3 different conversations, always having to yell at them, redirecting them, I try to teach them manners towards eachother and sharing, but sadly they live with their father and grandmother and there is NO Structure or responsibility or anything in that house. They just let my kids do what they want when they want. My oldest doesn’t respect me, that causes alot of issues. So my youngest wants all of my attention, it’s so effin hard to please them both, and when we do settle on 1 activity they like, not even 30 seconds in they’re fighting about who touched who or who goes first or who gets this color of whatever toy. Its exhausting. Mostly because at 9yrs old age shouldn’t be worrying about what color bubbles she gets over her sister. It’s so petty what they fight about. Then its mommy she hit me, no I didn’t, yes you did, no I didnt, yes you did. Over and over. I have to keep them separated, but I can’t leave a 3yr old unsupervised, and I hate that takes time away from my oldest. I have to leave the house at a certain time, to go to my own home, since they’re father evicted me from our home. So my days with my kids are limited.
If you have a stable relationship, financially stable, adequate care for the kids, and want to put the work in, then go for it. I’m an only child and while my kids aren’t the best of friends right now, I hope and pray they will be in the future.
What helped me decide to try was testimonies from friends whom were an only child and whom lost their parents and expressed how they felt lonely growing up and even more so after losing their parents. Plus my four year old keeps asking for one in his bedtime prayers. I’m praying I carry this pregnancy to term.
Having two for me was fine. I’m having my third and final and it will make four because we have an 8 year old bonus child temporarily. But two was a good number.
No in this world no way
I was scared having a second,even though we wanted more kids,bc ever in told me how much harder two is. Honestly, my oldest is 6 and I youngest fixing to turn 2…wish I would have had my second sooner,so would have more in common,but it seems like everything hasn’t changed much. Justin 6 year year old loves her sister. Now wants a brother,so trying for a 3rd next day year. Just make sure first is potty training before start on second. I think two in diapers would be rough.
I have 2 kids under 2 and it’s the most amazing thing ever but also some days are abit harder but I love it
In this world i wouldnt
I only have two because I have twins everyone says how can you do it, but you just do. Now here is something you really need to think about, when you went through your life who went through it with you your parents or your siblings. As much as parents do everything they can for their kids. Kids perspective is only from a looking up perspective so they don’t go though what their children go through but siblings do. So from your child’s perspective I would say yes give it a try
I’d say go for it! I have 6 and 1 on the way… yeah, it’s a little tough sometimes but it’s really not hard. People ask me alllll the time how I do it… You just do it.
Don’t do it!! It’s a trap!!! I’m a mother of FOUR! My oldest two are twins. It was nice with them having each other to play with or entertain each other. But with them aside, my two youngest are 5 years apart and most days I wanna jab pencils in my ears so I don’t have to listen to the fighting and arguing. They NEVER get along, they fight about EVERYTHING! Not to mention the expenses and child care and schooling and proms and cars and yearbooks and driving and college! Don’t get me wrong, I love all of my children, I wouldn’t trade them for anything. But I totally understand why some animals eat their young!
I have 3 and love it. Our 1st and 2nd are exactly 26 months apart. Our 2nd and 3rd are 22 months apart. They fight at times but are very close and they love spending time with each other. Once they are separated the other is lost without them. We just included the older one in helping pick the name, clothes/theme, and they went to all my ultrasounds and heard the heartbeat. Our oldest was so excited and loved to hold them and lay with the other 2. Our middle child was and is amazing with his little sister. We got him a baby doll and showed him how to hold the baby and be gentle.
Do it soon,they will be best friend forever, my girls are 18 months apart and they can read each other’s minds and support each other plans and dreams through life ,they are now 33 and 35
Flip a coin… Heads or tails. Ha ha sorry. Yes. Sure you should. One child is lonely. Child.
There is never gonna be a “right” time to have children in today’s world. Being an only child. My advice is have another one. They’re gonna need eachother one day
I wish I didn’t have a second one…I really wish I didntnhave kids at all. I thing I did a big mistake by bringing them into this fucked up world
I believe every child should have a sibling. Life is complicated and hard and sharing it with someone else who knows your crazy is a blessing. I now have 7 lol one and 2 four years apart then 3-4-only 2 yr then 18 yr before the next then 2 yr and then 4 years . Yup I’m done but I would not change it. I love every one of them to the moon and back .
I have 4 very different and yet wonderful kids the first 3 are 4 1/2 years apart the last 2 are 2 3/4 years apart if I had to do it over I’d have them closer. It wasnt very hard to go from 1 to 2 but I have a great husband who helped out. My sister only had 1 child and to this day regrets not giving her a sibling. My brother had 2 and is very happy with that he wanted his to have a sibling. I didnt want something to happen to my husband and I and for them not to have a sibling to turn to and understand. It’s a personal preference if u can love another child and want a baby they are truly a blessing from GOD.
Think about your child too, do you want them to be an only child. It’s great to have at least one sibling. If you think you can handle it, I would definitely have a second child.
For a very very long time. I only wanted one or better yet was content with one. I was able to give him all and the attention was always for him. As he got a little older as well as myself. I started thinking of him as an only child. of something was to happen to me he doesnt have any brothers and sisters… idk I gave in and now baby #2 on its way. 4 years apart. If u are thinking about it. Just do it!
I have 2 kids, and feel it was easier once the 2nd one was old enough to play with the 1st one. I also found having 2 kids helpful in that they could from a safety perspective keep and eye on one another. I did however get very lucky in that they got along much better than most siblings do.
I have 2 boys, 7&3, my youngest was quite a surprise, I am a single mom and yes it’s hard and sometimes crazy, but I wouldn’t change a thing!!
You don’t say if you have a partner in your life. If you do you both need to sit down and talk about it I do think that a child should have a sibling but if you don’t feel you can care for another child then you shouldn’t and your post is kinda of saying you don’t want another child and that’s fi w too
#2 was a surprise for us, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. They are 15 months apart and the best of friends. I am an only child and I hated it growing up, and I hate it even more now.