She would probably have fun at her aunts and get sweets ect. Be spoiled.
She’s grounded,grounded means no special treatment no extras. Your the step mum you have the final say. Next time you tell her that you make the decisions and what you say is final x
She would probably have fun at her aunts and get sweets ect. Be spoiled.
I think when you’re a step parent is boundaries you need to set for yourself and that child.
Aaah your husban is the father !!! Your are not her mother
i don’t think you were wrong. if you let her get away with it now, it’ll always happen. say for instance yall are there one day & you say she can’t have candy because she had enough candy for that day, the aunt will give her candy anyway. so it’s best to put your foot down now
Honesty I don’t think she was grounded for a valid reason cuz you won’t explain it and she is not your child unless you adopted her she is your step parent and you came into a family that was already set up if this was never an issue before why are you making it one now
I miss we e our for sure that’s a privilege
As a stepmom & a biomom, you are absolutely IN THE RIGHT… Carry on, good lady, you’re doing fine. Your stepdaughter will appreciate that you look out for & back her Dad up in his decisions. Kids never appreciate authority & someone looking out for them until they’re adults & have the benefit of hindsight
Well to me you were right. She is with you and her dad. That has custody. The Aunt just needs to not put the child in that situation.
I think you did the right thing. She needs to learn her new role and adhere to the boundaries within it. She’s not her mother in any way shape or form so does not get to override you as the parent taking care of your step daughter at that time.
As a stepmom you have every right to do what you did. She did something not allowed and your grounding was appropriate.
The father is head of the house hold, he should make the ultimate decision.
Teamwork makes the dream work you are the parent figure when your husband isn’t around and coordinate accordingly
Awesome job momma
If this woman has been there her entire life then I think you’re wrong. You are the step mom who came in after the fact.
You are in the right, especially because he own dad grounded her.
All the bitter women in here “YoUrE nOt HeR mOm”
Yikes. She has a say in what her stepdaughter can and can’t do especially if she’s primarily in dads/stepmoms care. They grounded her. The aunt should respect that. Plain and simple.
I personally feel you did the right thing. The aunt was also trying to overstep dad and that’s not okay. You’re the mother figure when the kids are at their dads and dad grounded her. Ignore the people saying you don’t have rights. While that’s technically true, I’ve seen step parents get custody over bio parents in some cases. You absolutely have the right to stick to “she’s grounded, she’s coming home” if the kids are in dads care.
How old is your step daughter?
As an auntie that has helped raise the kids I think it depends ENTIRELY on you and how you fit into the family. I don’t think step parents are as important as the biological parents, and i know that’ll piss a lot of you off, but I’m a “step parent” too and I couldn’t IMAGINE having the entitlement over my husband’s kids that some people have over their partners kids. You wanna know if you’re wrong? Ask the actual parent who he’s mad at. There’s not enough information about you or the relationship or how you fit in with the family. You didn’t even say how your husband feels. He’s the only one that can tell you if you’re the asshole.
You are right! 100% That aunt sounds like a real nut job! Counseling for her!
Not your kid not your call. The father should make the call.
Yes. You did right. The woman is being disrespectful. When you say" she was smart…" That tells me the child wanted to go with you. If it happens again …call the cops. You are the parent. When Dad is not there you are second in command. So command.
Great JOB MOM!
ALSO the cops would be giving her to you. Your the legal parent. I wouldn’t be taking her over there again. She can’t be trusted. If she wants to see them again she comes to your home WITH Dad home. This way there is no more confusion. I would also be letting her know this in writing and keep a copy for yourself.
When you marry someone with children you have to work hard to be the step parent.When there is other family that had step in and help until you came along.The whole family has to come together come up with a plan for the children so no one feels left out.As far as a family member stepping in and over ruling the step parent needs to nack off or try to work together.Its hard being the step parent.By the way the only thing the child is learning is that they don’t have to respect anyone.
You were right. Now is when your husband addresses her & puts her in her place.
Like u said ur not giving us all the info so who knows?
All these “ You ain’t the mom “ she’s visiting family !! ahhh when she raises these kids and cooks and cleans and would pay some sort of way for them she has every right to PARENT her !! Y’all are bitter women she has every right to discipline this child !! She ain’t her friend she’s her mom and aunt needs to realise this !!
All I needed to know is the you AND Dad grounded the stepdaughter meaning you were keeping to the united from that is you and her father. The aunt was very much overstepping in this situation. As a mother and stepmom I would have done the exact same.
Since you and your husband grounded the girl, that rule should stand. If hubby disagrees then the girl knows she can divide and conquer. Not good…
She’s being disrespectful second guessing your house rules esp in front of your step daughter. I’m with you 100%. What’s important is that your husband is to.
You have no rights. The aunt has no rights
Should have asked the fathers opinion.
It honestly depends on what your husband feels. If he felt it was okay then that overrides your feelings unfortunately. I’ve gone through the same & am so tired of hearing we raised those babies. Um no you didn’t. I came into their lives at 3 & 4 years old. They’re teens now & they have no recollection of you & that ⅙ of their lives. Thankfully their dad sides with me because he feels it’s a dig at his parenting as well when their mom & dad were young. What was done in the past doesn’t ensure anything of the future. Your current actions, if disrespectful, can blow everything out of the water in my book.
If you’re responsible for raising, feeding, caring for, and loving her like a mother, then you’re also responsible for punishments. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t get a say. People can’t demand you treat your step child like your own until it’s time to set boundaries. No. You’re her mother figure and you get a say.
Absolutely you were right! As a step parent too two girls, it’s hard, but mama, you have done everything right
“Smart and ran the opposite way?!?!!!” I say more like scared of you! So how old is she? Because if she’s 15 the aunt raised her for 12 years vs your 3… ultimately it’s up to her dad period
Yes u are totally right she is just her aunt just because she helped raise her doesn’t mean she gets to out rule you in something glad u stood your ground .
Your child (basically) your rules. She lives with you, you grounded her. She is grounded.
My partner has been away and I was looking after his daughter (my stepdaughter) I grounded her and said she couldn’t sleep over at aunty’s but she can have the day with aunty but since she was naughty no sleep over. The aunty took her for the day then got the mother too ring me (the mum hasn’t been involved for over a year) and say the aunty is taking her for good, brought the police too my house to get my stepdaughters belonging. Changed her school took her away from her new little sister. And now stepdaughters dad won’t be back for another year almost so the aunty has decided it’s to hard too look after her for another year so she’s sending her back to the mum who didn’t even have her daughter enrolled in kindy or preK before she came to live with us.
All because I disciplined my stepdaughter and I wasn’t “family” “blood”
You have no rights as a STEP MUM you are not the mother.
You don’t have any.
But aunt also has no rights. Doesn’t matter what she did for the child.
At the end of the day you were in the right. If it is her fathers time with her and she is grounded and not allowed to sleepover anywhere then you stick with that. You can inform the aunt that when she is ungrounded you can arrange a visit.
It appears mom is out of the picture, so now it is you and dad raising her. Her aunt and grandmother need to understand that their help was appreciated and they need to stay in their lane. Dad needs to talk to his mom and sister to let them know that the two of you are raising her now. They should be able to visit and she should be able to visit them also. They need to understand that when she is punished, she is punished. They can’t override it and need to respect the rules in your home.
Married…it’s between both of them. They both need to stand their ground.
Hell no you aren’t wrong. You are the parent in the home not the aunt. Obviously the thing she got grounded for was bad enough you didn’t want to mention it here therefore it’s bad enough you get no fun at all. Tell the aunt to stay in her lane until your husband and you and her can have a conversation about the whole thing and decide where to go from there.
Nope aunty should step back.
Confused and not your child os all I saw. Lol
Although in this situation I’m more than certain you’re right. I’d like to also state that you should never use seeing an being with family members as part of the punishment. We aren’t promised tomorrow’s. As this seemingly is a consistent issue. I’d say that you and your husband need to have a conversation with her about boundaries and not to undermine you and your husband. You have to stand up for yourself and your husband.
Maybe the aunt and parent new parent
Should have a talk be on same team
Because no rights blah blah.now cause
Shes no longer need speakin of aunt
Just boot her aside maybe she should
Be aloud to stay.but home rules
Apply there to as far as the groundin
We need more info like what’s the custody order say. Do y’all share the kid. But in the end YOU have no say but her dad does.
I think if your with the dad and you are taking care of this child like your own you have a say
I would think you’d have more “rights” than an aunt, but .
U r mom. Step means nothing… It’s not relevant… U r mom. She doesn’t override you and you should be proud of urself. Good job momma!
Step parents are asholes. I said what I said
Well it sounds like ur step daughter didnt want to stay if she’s running opposite direction
It is you and your husband’s household and rules, if she is grounded, then she is grounded!!
Even if dad dealt the punishment your to blame anyway you have the right, go ahead and call it. They already think your the witch. I know from experience.
I love that you didn’t back down. It shows you care and you see her as yours, cause she is.
If you’re new then you’re overstepping
You go girl!!! You did the right thing and I’m proud of you
You definitely have more rights as her stepmom. My two older kids never called my husband their stepdad. He was their dad. You are her mom when you have her.
You and your husband need to have a “come to Jesus” talk with this aunt
She is the one who has over-stepped the boundaries
You did the right thing.She’s grounded.It sounds like the aunt needs to step back.
You and Dad made agreed to the grounding, stick to the consequences.
If my husband and i ageed to ground my son (his step) and he was in your position i would hope he would stick to the grounding, once one parent doesn’t follow through regardless it becomes messy.
You are there to help carry out rules. That you both agree to. And if rule are broken consequences follow. My husband step son (mine) follows the same rules his brothers and sister do ( mine and my husband kids). No special treatment.
You were right… Mom over rides Aunt.
Your step mom . So no your not in the wrong or over stepping. You and her dad is the law so to say . I kinda get where thw aunt is coming from but she has no right to try and power play thw situation like she’s in charge.
Don’t give in or it will just get worse.