I’m seven months pregnant, and I have three children with my ex-husband who takes them every other weekend. My boyfriend has a son who he takes on Saturday’s. I work 40 hours a week, and he works all week as well. He has a day during the week off an Sundays off I have normal weekends off. Last night I asked him not to take his son at the weekends. I don’t have my kids so we can have a day together that we can spend without kids. He instantly started to get mad and packed his things and left. He moved into my house months ago, and when his sons here, I end up watching him an caring for him, cook, clean, etc. I care for his son when he’s not here, also if he wants to stay an extra day to play with my kids. His son actually asked if he could live here. I don’t have space for five kids. But I honestly just need the break some weekends. Was I wrong for the asking? He got up and left an said I’m not picking my girlfriend over my kid. I didn’t ask him to pick one or the other I asked for a day to be able to spend together since, in a few months, we’ll have no time alone when the baby comes.
My fiance has 2 boys, I have 0 kids. If you cant love his son like you love your kids, you have no place in his life. He is a part of your life now. If you dont like it get to stepping. If you cant treat his child or care for his child the way you do yours…dont be with him. You will ostracize his son. If the weekend is the only time he gets to see him get over it and yourself.
In my opinion you’re in the wrong and he had every right to be upset.
And if you dont want to care for his child you need to go. That little boy needs all the love he can get just like your kids. If you cant 9r dont want to give that love go away
Yup you’re wrong and good for him for choosing his child over you.
He only gets him on Saturdays. Yes he stays extra time but you get your kids all the time and for him to not take his child is not fair. I get you want time alone but it’s not fair to ask him that.
I know it sounds bad at first, but no, you’re not wrong. It’s normal for couples to have alone time together. My boyfriend also has a child with an Ex (a 13 year old boy). We have a 2 year old son together as well. And there’s times I’ll have my son watched by my sister and his son will skip a weekend so we can plan something. My boyfriend only has weekends off. And he takes his son EVERY weekend. So there’s never just a day for him and I. It’s normal to plan alone time occasionally.
A day off asking for a day off is totally acceptable. Is there no family or friends you can go to for a night so he can still see his son? If he only sees him one day a week I think it’s a little harsh to ask him to relinquish his day for you… Maybe he and his son can go to a friend’s house for the day? Compromise maybe 
You have kids. There’s no such thing as a break.
Yes. Time alone together is necessary… But it doesn’t mean you should ask him to choose that over his child. Ever.
I mean think about it. In 3 months there’s going to be a kid around all the time. No matter whos kids are where. So why make a change ?
How dare you? Yes you’re wrong!!! People with kids come as a package, if that bothers you kick rocks!!
I’m divorced and if my exhusband didn’t put my children first I would be livid. I support your boyfriends decision. Kids come first.
I think If your boyfriend is NOT pulling his weight in the care of HIS child then you do have to right to ask or tell him he needs to look after his child so you can have a break. Its a 2 way street. He should be helping you as much as you help him!
I would have packed and left you too. If anything I would encourage my partner to see his child more even if that meant extra work for me.
Not wanting to cook and clean and be the main care giver for your SS is one thing. Dad should step up and take care of his kid on his days. You wanting him to give up his time is wrong. You want a day alone YOU make the effort. Take a day off when he’s off or find a sitter for your kids.
I’m sorry but yes you were wrong. He is with your kids most of the time, and as he only has his child 1 day a week why don’t you spend time together on the Sunday if all kids not there. You got together knowing one another have kids. Why should you partner not see his son?? Turn the tables the other way how would you feel if your ex said he wasn’t having your kids??
If he did this to you I’m sure you would get upset about it. Shame that it sounds like you have just lost a great father cz he made the right decision.
Yes, you’re wrong. I’m glad he walked out.
Yup definitely in the wrong on this one.
Everybody deserves a break. Grandparents watch the grandkids for the parents. Jusr because you have kids doesn’t mean you get no time to yourself. Everybody deserves a little break. You guys make it seem like it’s a jail sentence. She wanted one day. It’s not like she said don’t let him over ever again. And who knows, maybe they could have done something to get him a different day to make up for it
Next time don’t date a man who has kids, IDK🤷🏾♀️…
Of course you deserve a break before your new baby comes. It would be different if you were asking for more. But pregnancy is stressfull enough. Fk what everyone else is saying. You deserve a healthy stressless pregnancy!
you’re 7 months pregnant with his child? oh. hell. no. you’re allowed to need a darn break especially, when you’re 7 months pregnant… jerk!!! he can have his son… have him hire a babysitter if he can’t do it.
Not at all…u need a break
Did you only ask for one day? Or all Saturdays? All Saturdays is definitely wrong. I feel like you asked and now you know how he feels about it and it’s something you can talk about and work on like maybe trade a day so he can still see him but you still get the one weekend? On the same note, I feel like we don’t have the whole story. He didn’t move out on just a question. 
Alone time seems to have caused this situation. 
Spend as much time with them as you can. Soon enough they will have better things to do.
Children always come first especially since his son would be getting special time with you and his dad one on one.
Kids come first plain and simple. I would have done the same as your boyfriend. He has your kids day in day out when they aren’t with their dad. He deserves time with his kid. To ask? I’m my opinion is selfish and you are asking to have yourself put above his kid. If this was the other way around and he asked you to do this your post would be very different and asking are you in the wrong for kicking him out js
So wrong lady. You want the guy you take the baggage that comes along with him. On the other hand you appear to have a whole shit load of baggage. Why would he want to be with you?
When you decide to date a person with kids, it’s a package deal. Get a sitter.
What the “F” is wrong with you? If you didn’t want kids around the house quit spreading your legs. Also that kid didn’t ask for his parents to separate and to get you as the next women in his life. Do you know how many kids just want to spend time with their dad’s. If you didn’t want to care for his kid then you should have stayed away from men with kids. You should have to get a psych-eval to continue parenting your children.
You are wrong and he did the right thing. You just lost a good man!!
Yeah if I was him I’d be upset too. I’m glad he said no and stood his ground .
A day break yes but he should be having his son when he isn’t working so he actually gets to spend time with him. It wasnt great how its worded however I understand what you meant
Yes you were kids aren’t pets
I don’t think you were wrong! I see a lot here do think that. She’s only asking for one day for just the two of them
You’re clearly finding room for your kids and time for your kids and going to find space for this new baby and time to care for the new baby so you’re selfish and shouldn’t have gotten pregnant again if you couldn’t find time and space for his kid who is a part of him and it’s probably hard enough on him to parent your three kids and not spend the same amount of time with his own. You were wrong and kudos to him for leaving and knowing the difference. Hopefully you can work out a suitable custody arrangement with the baby you’re pregnant with.
This may be a bit harsh, but maybe you should consider not having anymore children after this one? You’re obviously feeling overwhelmed.
Yea, that’s pretty sad when a woman asks a man to NOT see his child because it is an inconvenience for her. You can schedule dates. To ask that man to not get his child was wrong.
I read the first line… and that’s all I need to read. YOU’RE WRONG!
You don’t have the room but yet your pregnant again? And u ask if you are wrong? Let me count the ways
Wtf is wrong with you…
If you don’t have time or space for one more kid you shouldn’t have gotten pregnant
You don’t have room for five children? Well YALL have five children. Make room.
Your wrong for asking him he only sees him on Saturdays I would have got pist and up and left too, you said you didn’t ask him to choose but you actually did just not in those words.
That’s a man!! No woman comes before children. You were wrong. Don’t get with someone if you are not prepared to take their children on. They are a package deal!
Wrong. If you wanted a date night get a babysitter. Being a parent is not always convenient.
I would have left to. Why waist his ti.e if you didn’t want to be a family with both your kids?
You absolutely did ask him to pick you over his son. If you dont have room for five kids why are you having another and why are you with someone who has kids? Good for him!!!
Your wrong. My kids always come first over any man
Whoa. You do not ever ask that! He was right to leave imo. 🤷 I get wanting alone time but you do not come before the children EVER. why do females think they have this right? And the “his son” bit bothers me so bad. Acting like that baby is a burden. How dare you! You are a MOTHER. I’m disgusted. This is why kids get so screwed up, bc they FEEL the step whatever doesn’t like them. Thankfully the MAN knew better.
Ew.
Yep, you are very wrong!
Ya you shouldn’t of said that. Package deal. Honestly I would of packed up and left too.
So YOUR kids live there full time and are pregnant but don’t have space for his son??? I’d of packed my shit and left also that’s his SON boys need their daddies in their life what is wrong with you? Plus how do you know what’s going on in his mommas home that he wants to live there? You should be ashamed of yourself as a mother
I agree that you are wrong. He made the right choice choosing his son over you.
I get your tired and stuff but he probably does a lot for your kids during the week and if it was the other way around and you only saw your kid once a week even if he helped loads with her it would still be a big deal if he asked you not to have them over on your only say. Sometimes parenting means no days off. If he wants to live with yous even if yous don’t have the space you should definitely have him over as much as possible he obviously loves being with yous which is great!!! Hope the end of your pregnancy goes well don’t worry you will get some time off with him at some point, even try go for breakfast first or something xx
Get a sitter and go on a date like normal people you dont ever make a kid feel unwelcome
I’m so proud of that man
So it’s not just one day, you have asked him not to take his son at weekends when he only gets him on a Sat, seriously? You are so wrong!!!
I would of walked out too, My kids come first before anyone!!
Instead of asking him to just not get his kid on Saturday, why don’t you ask him if he and the kid’s mother could see about changing his visit day to his dads day off on Sunday. You can’t expect the kid’s mother to adjust her whole life too.
Maybe if you had picked a weekend where ALL of your kids stay with their other parents for a weekend but to ask for just his child to stay away, no bueno.
If you haven’t got the time or the space maybe stop getting pregnant. What right have you got to ask your boyfriend to not bother with his own son just so you can have alone time with him??
Also he deals with your 4 kids all week but you can’t deal with his one once a week?!
I get what you’re saying, but totally understand why he was mad. Maybe being so far along in pregnancy say “hey its a lot of work for me, can you maybe just take him on days you’re off so you can spend time with him” but even then, you still have your children coming over, kinda rude to act like his child is too much. If you dont have room/time/willingness to have 5 children in your home, perhaps you should have thought about that before dating someone who has a kid and getting pregnant.
Did you make it known you wanted it for ONE DAY and not every time?
I understand what you were saying. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some time without any kids. It sounds reasonable esspecially since you don’t have your kids everyother weekend. Why doesn’t he spend time with his son on his other day off and the same weekend you have your kids?
I don’t agree with you. He seems like a good man for standing you to you on this.
He was completely justified in that. You are absolutely asking him to pick you over his son. I would have done the same thing. If you want to be with a man with children then you sign up for him and his children full time. Otherwise move on.
I also think it’s time to start birth control… way too many kids between everyone and it’s reaching the point you don’t have room.
Nobody knows this mans agreement with his sons mom. So switching days might not be an option. 2nd you can make a baby with him…you can make space for that baby…but his son wants to live there with his dad and you cant find the time nor space. Gtfoh… Stop having children.
You both have kids now… no such thing as “alone time”
Its women like you… it was his day with his kid…
You have your kids every other weekend… has he ever asked you to leave them an extra weekend with their dad… im not in cutting no father and child time short …
Work around it
U shouldve suggested getting a sitter on a weekend ur kids home nd u and him go out … or have them stay with some family so u could spend time together.
But asking him to not take his child?
Sis u dead wrong
You are totally wrong. Get a sitter. Hes a good dad.
You didn’t do anything wrong. Everyone needs a break sometime and especially when you are pregnant. And because he was so quick to leave makes mr think he just used this as an excuse to leave. Sorry you are going through this.
I honestly think if you said I want a day for us to hang out or do something he probably wouldn’t have gotten so mad… But you just saying don’t take your son this weekend is wrong… Its all about your wording… Hubby and I make time for “alone time” we agree upon a day. Communication is key!
Asking him to give up his time on father’s day weekend! You are absolutely wrong! How would you feel if he asked you to give up time with your children.
“I asked him not to take his son at the weekends” yes, you were wrong. that’s not your place. & I guarantee you wouldn’t take it lightly if he said something about your kids & your ex, because simply put, it’s not his place…
Ok sounds to me him leaving may have been an excuse. Sure it was wrong for you to ask this blame it on hormones. Just say you are sorry. Go out with him and his son. You said In 2 months a new baby so all the kids need some alone time with parents.
Um yeah. Jerk move. Suggesting maybe to switch days would be more reasonable, but to say don’t get him is unfair to him and the kid.
Good for him for calling you out on that.
All of you saying shes wrong are friggen nuts!!! She even said WHEN HIS SON IS THERE SHE’S THE ONE WHO CARES FOR HIS SON… Therefore saying the BOYFRIEND doesn’t do the care for him! So shes 7 months prego, her bio kids his kid and takes care of the house… WTF does the bofriend do? But ya’ll say shes the one in the wrong and hes justified in just bouncing like that? Smh! Girl i hope thats not his kid… tell him to gtfoh and stop asking for advice on here. These people are nuts
I think everyone needs a break from kids. I imagine working 40 hours and dealing with so many kids must be exhausting… But maybe getting a baby sitter for an hour or 2, or picking him up alittle later then usual would be a fair compromise so you can have a few hours kid free Obviously seeing his son is important to him, and it’s not fair to strip them of their time together.
You’re wrong. And the fact that you are using being pregnant as an excuse that you’re too tired to take care of a kid might be the most ironic thing I have ever read.
There are plenty of guys who don’t see their kids and don’t care. You should find one of those douches and be happy. Leave this guy who actually wants to see his kid alone.
Sorry but he sees your kids almost every day, why would he not enjoy a little extra time with his child. He has limited time as it is and he sees you everyday. The fact that you have another baby on the way shows you do find alone time. I don’t blame him for being mad. He could have been more mature than to pack up an leave but you chose a man with a child who makes it a point to see his child.
Yes. If you want something to last never come between a man and his kids. How would you like it if he said not to get yours.
If you dont have space for his son and its a problem to care for him when he is there then you two are not a fit. You brought kids into the relationship too and good for him for standing up for his child.
Yes. You ARE the asshole.
I was actually on your side when I thought you were asking for a one-off, but then I re-read your question and it sounds like you’re asking him not to take his son on any Saturdays so you can have at least 1 day kid free. I’m sorry but that is selfish. You get your kids 12 out of 14 days and he gets his son 2 out of 14 days and you’re asking HIM to rearrange his schedule with his son? Did you think this question through before posting it? How pissed would you be if your ex husband called saying he couldn’t take your kids every 2nd weekend because his girlfriend wants to be kid-free?
In a relationship neither party should ever ask to give up a day with their kid. You knew he have a son when you guys were dating.
That’s what baby sitters are for
It’s crappy if he’s not chipping in with caring for his own kid, but it’s crappy of you to deny him seeing his kid. I’ve been a single mom for 20 years now I had to go home to my children everyday whether I wanted alone time or not. You made the kids, you f****** deal with them. Tough s*** you don’t get alone time that’s the way it goes
Your kids get to live with y’all but his can’t? He did the right thing for putting his son first!
Being a parent=no days off
You are wrong! Its great that a dad spend times with his child, I would of packed and left to
So compromising is NOT in the equation??
All that … all them excuses… about why it’s okay & he shouldn’t take his kid. GIRL SHUT UP! Glad he was a real man & left you… now you got your weekend no kids 
. It’s funny how it’s Not your kid & my kids… we in this together, till you have your own with the…, or coming & now it’s leave your’s cause… me, mine… my… Hope he leaves you raising that one & takes his kids on the weekend. No it’s NOT nice to say but you’re a horrible person. NO, You’re a B… period. Disgusting & he deals with your kids all week!!
In the minority here… but it sounds like she just asked for a break. She’s 7 months pregnant so I can understand why she may need one. It’s not clear if she asked him to not get his child that one Saturday or asked him to change his visitation schedule. But it doesn’t sound as if she asked him to stop all visits. He left a woman who is 7 months pregnant with his child because she made a suggestion that he didn’t agree with. Idk, sounds to me like he may not have been fully invested.
That is wrong in so many ways! He had every right to leave!
Your boyfriend is around your kids every single day except for the two weekends a month they are with your ex. Let me see if I understand this, your boyfriend works 4 weekdays and on Saturdays but has his son every Saturday and Sunday? Still that is only about 8 days a month… I think you are being unreasonable. Imagine if your ex’s new love decided that your kids were not welcome on Saturdays? And your ex asked you to keep them on Saturdays. Rude, huh?
There is no such thing as taking a break. He is with you and your kids all week. Imagine how you would feel if he wanted you to pick between him and your kids. You should be proud to have a man that takes care of his son.