My ex n i have 50/50… for school stuff, he gets one kid i get the other, same with taxes. I have 2 of everything (coats, boots and snowpants) because dad is irresponsible in making sure they have all their stuff when it comes time to switch homes. I have a plethora of hats and gloves. He is being unreasonable.
I don’t even ask my ex anymore. I send my girls with clothes and every thing they will need because I already know he doesn’t buy anything. I used to get upset because I’m the one buying every thing but in the meantime I’ve realized its about my girls. U could just send them with nothing he wouldn’t care if their clothes fit or they have a coat but I do what’s best for my girls and pick my battles wisely.
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I can see where he’s coming from with wanting to have a set at his house. My ex and I each have a set of stuff for our son at each house. He buys the stuff for his house I buy for my house. We do help each other when absolutely needed but this way say kid plays in the snow and coat gets soaked, he will put him in the dry one and send him home in that and it’s always switching houses but we make sure our son has what he needs at each house. I’ve always had 2 sets of stuff winter stuff especially for all 3 of my kids because accidents happen and kids will be kids. But if you’re struggling then he should be willing to help you regardless of the reason you need help because he should want to make sure that the kids has everything essentially needed no matter what situation.
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When I left my ex husband he was the same he thought I should do it all every time ask him to get stuff for our daughter no I don’t have it well she was his only child so as a result of that it turned her against him so do this day she will have nothing to do with him or will she ever she’s done that little girl is 39yrsold so when the ex says no it’s only hurting the kids they grow up n realize what a jerk he was
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Yes You’re being fair. when I asked for custody of my kids, I told my Judge that I didn’t need any help from Dad’s income. I wanted to support my kids.
50/50 custody. Then he supplies all needs at his house and u supply all needs at ur house. It doesn’t hurt for them to have 2 coats n 2 pairs of boots. My child has at least that in her closet. If u had full custody n he paid support u wouldn’t have the right to ask him to purchase more stuff. If u want him to split the cost with u then u need to split the cost with him. Now if ur sending clothes for the girls to his house then stop . If he wants u to send all there clothes for while he has them then he can pay half. He is responsible for all their needs while in his care.
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Way too much score keeping and you lose the whole goal of providing the best you can for your children. Pettiness the kids will feel
and resent you both for it. If he doesn’t want
to just move on,his karma and be glad your not with him.
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I see it both ways. But really, you only need 1 jacket but 2 pair winter extras would be good. But yes he should help with buying them stuff out of pocket
I would say u r being fair…but if u r struggling and he is going to buy them sets for his house…why cant they bring them to your house.
Does he make then change coats and boots when they switch houses?
He makes no sense and I would ask him what he thinks this is teaching your girls.
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IMO he is just trying to get out of paying half. Why do they need 2 of everything, and it’s not like you’re gonna say give me your coats, dad has some at his house?!? What does your court order say? If it says expenses are 50/50, I’d remind him.
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Honestly on a financial standpoint it makes WAY more sense for him to go havsies on one item rather than buying 2. My sisters grandparents [we have separate dads] use to do this and they would have all kinds of clothes, some of which was never worn. And honestly its just a waste at that point.
He sounds like hes kind of just being an ass when he really should be stepping up to the plate.
Maybe consider inviting him along when you go shopping, maybe it will help him see it’s going to be cheaper if he just helps rather than buys separate stuff that wont be good in a year.
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I get his point in theory but it isn’t realistic, I mean are you supposed to send her to his house with no coat so you keep the one you bought? What will happen is you have her wearing her coat then they are both left at his house when he drops her off then instead of 2 she has zero coats it just doesn’t make sense
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Is he paying child support? If not, there’s your problem. Get that support! Then you won’t be paying for everything. But also getting two sets of stuff is wierd… don’t they take clothes with them when going to his house? Why should he then need separate clothes? And visa versa.
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Honestly its your responsibility at your house and his responsibilities at his house…but yet again why would you not automatically send your kid in a coat to the other parents house and just have it sent back with them??? Also what are you doing with child support
Sounds like the same issue I have with my ex about my kids shoes all year… He gets hand me downs from his older brothers daughter for our daughter (always way too big). He buys the kids clothes and stuff and has to be super petty about it if they wear anything to my house. Coats and shoes and stuff, they have one set of for the most.part and I’m the one that got them.for the kids. He always claims because he pays me child support that I should be the one to pay for that stuff and that is NOT how that works. He still has to provide 50/50 of their needs on top of the child support payments. 
I did the same thing for my oldest daughter when she was with me she had clothes and everything with me then when she was with my ex he had clothes and everything. We split only on the shoes and jacket. That was it. Clothes you two need to agree when they are with him overnight or however long they are with him he needs to have clothes for them. You both are being childish to a point cause you two are not agreeing and acting like children bout that situation. I get the point what your saying but in all reality when you two split there should of been a custody hearing and child support hearing
My ex wont even let our son take anything to his house from mine. When he gets there he gets a new set of clothes, his are washed and then he wears the same thing I put him in back to my house. Cant take toys or electronics or anything…not by my choice but his. Sometimes I swear it makes me so mad…if your ex is anything like mine, lord help ya because it’s like talking to a wall.
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Not sure where you live but there are lots of yard sales going on. Kids grow fast you can find good used one for a 1/3 of the price. I know its not the point just take care of it yourself and tell him to get lost
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If he wants to be like that tell him to bring shoes socks clothes jackets whatever they need to get dressed before going with him since being petty and all the clothes shoes and stuff you buy for your house needs to be left at your house and not enter his. I mean really if he sees it that way! But if you need help with jackets they have coat drives you could possibly get one from also some pediatrician offices had jackets to give if you need the help!
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My ex paid child support and nothing else. When the couple of times he bothered to see them I sent clothes. I bought all for my kids. Never said bad things about him but they figured it out.
WOW that is all some wild stuff there. How ABOUT its supposed to be ALL about the KIDS!! 
ALL of the shoes, coats, clothes and Pjs, even the toys belong to? Yes, the CHILDREN!! If you’re going to be so petty and fight about it just please stop 
think about what you’re doing to your CHILDREN!!
It should be “Hey, pack up you’re going to Dads for this week so you know, 7 of everything, right? Their choice! And someone help them pack it back up to return. Are you telling me you don’t let kids have one HOME and weekends and holidays at their other parents for visitation?
So glad we never had to deal with this insanity. Just give or get pay $, buy kids whatever they NEED, buy them whatever we WANTED TO!! Listen just try to enjoy them. 18 years goes bye quickly.
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Why don’t you guys send the receipts for clothes and kid stuff once a month and each pay 50% of the monthly bill. He may have no idea how much kids coats and boots cost.
How about you each buy for one kid and they can wear them everywhere? Why can’t Adults, adult and be practical.
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We have 50/50 and we don’t split clothes. I buy school supplies for one and he buys for the other. The clothes I buy they wear at my house and his at his. Whatever they come to my house in from his, they go back in. It’s not that they have two of everything because I only have to buy half as many clothes since they’re with me half the time. Five outfits for each kid and I’m good the whole season. 
My husband and his ex only split back to school shopping, and half the time with his schedule he just gives her the money for his kids stuff. Otherwise i go buy the stuff for the kids for our house and his ex buys for her house with very rare exceptions.
I didn’t get child support he had children in community he had to pay they got families first state made him pay I just worked more sent her to school
So under his logic when it’s his time with them, they should be wearing nothing? Its ridiculous how men think. Their school should have a coat drive or local churches. Look there for coats, they’re free to those who need. Screw him, if he doesnt want what’s best for the girls find ways around it. PS tell him to kick rocks telling you about managing money. He lost that right when you divorced. Stop being dependent on him. Show him you’re an independent woman.
This is what you tell him. You are sharing costs or it goes back to court, done deal. They will attach his wages, that’s fact.
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He should man up after all he should do whatever he can for his daughter’s to make sure they have whatever they need. After all he is their father. A man that doesn’t take care of his kids is not much of a man in my book.
Sounds like you are doing a great job at managing your money by eliminating duplicate expenses.
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I would rather he keep his stuff at his house and I buy my girls their own things bc I dont like him complaining they didn’t come back in the socks he sent them with. I just told him he needs to keep his things at his house bc I dont want it at my house. I send them with clothes to come back in.
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You both need to get your acts together. There is no do overs in this life. Your children come first. Start to plan in advance and find a middle ground. There will come a day in the not too distant future that these same children will all of a sudden be all grown up. So just roll with it folks PERIOD!
He must not know what 50/50 means and he knows nothing about co-parenting
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My daughters dad gives me 500 a month and still buys her clothes every weekend … And spoils her . some baby daddy’s are just immature …
So what when he picks up the girls is he going to bring his set of winter gear to put on them so yours doesnt leave the house and then upon return hes going to wait until they take it off to take it back??
He sounds like a moron. of course if custody is 50/50 why wouldnt you split the cost so they can wear the same set. All hes doing is making a very distinct like between mums house and dads house… which isnt healthy for the kids.
In my case me ex likes to destroy to snow suits I buy my children so I have gone out and bought a really cheap second hand suit just for them going with him and then I will keep the good one at my house but, like I said my ex destroys the stuff they get sent. (winter jackets soaked in car oil to the point new ones need to be bought, or making the at the time 6 year old weld and ruining his clothes.)
I am made responsible to replace everything because he does not take on any responsibility but he only has them every other weekend and them complains that’s too much time… so… different circumstance.
However if we had 50/50 I would expect him to purchase half of everything the kids need.
It all depends on how your divorce decree was done period if it wasn’t spelled out it probably won’t happen
He sounds more like a dead beat dad than anactual father.do the best you can and your girls will see who the parent was that did for them and who didn’t.
I feel really fortunate after reading these posts. My ex gets our daughter a pack of raisins every week. Lol
As much as it sucks sounds like he ain’t going to give so ur going to have to do it anyways so the kids don’t go without
If it’s his year for Halloween then he buys the costumes…your year you buy the costumes it’s like you asking him to buy Christmas presents for your house
So he’s saying thru should get 2 sets? One set for his house purchased by him and one set for your house purchased by you?
I would say then send them home to you with the one jacket and boots he buys.
He’s being petty plain and simple. Just do what you need to for your kids.
Alot of parents get each, during the switch they take off the coat from one house and put on the coat for the other. Same will having clothes for mom and dad separate.
My question is does he pay child support? If not then yes he should split 50/50.
Contact the kids school and ask for a referral to the district resource coordinator. Often the district will have coats for free for families struggling.
Take him back. To court and tell them he needs to pay 50 50 on everything
Ask him what are they going to do switch coats, shoes, etc at visits
Maybe a modification to your child support agreement is in order
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My ex kept all the good stuff and sent them home in rags.
I would be so petty and make him buy their school clothes for his house and everything else.
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We always split ehatsneeded. Clothes, school supplies, doctors etc…
Don’t send anything with them to his house
First we now need to hear his side!
Well let him buy his share and you hold off until you need to buy another
You get what ya sleep with…be careful ladies.
If you get child support no! That’s what that money is for
Is there a child support agreement in place? If not apply for one and include the essentials in it, as well as how you plan to split for college and what not. Good luck momma, you got this
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It is about the children! They need to be able to pick out one coat, etc and know it is theirs. If they are younger, it will also help teachers and sitters know who which item belongs to each child…NOT times 2! Plus kids grow fast and may need a new one before the end of the season. And this happens to Dads as well as Moms.
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What are all yall doing with child support for fucks sake
I’d make a list if what the child need and go through what you will buy and then what he would buy. Should be monetarily equal. He soulds like my grandson. He buy stuff for her and keep it at his house then she buys stuff and keeps it at her house. I get because she doesnt come back with things sometimes. But having 2 set if things just sound ridiculous. Make a list, give him what he needs to buy, if he wants stuff for his house he can buy extra.
My ex and I had joint custody, but I had physical custody because he worked nights. Our son had some clothes at his dad’s place. If our son needed something and money was tight for me, I asked his dad to get it. Sometimes his dad bought him things (like a good jacket or backpack) but those things went with our son. No need for two separate sets of outfits.
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I get where you are coming from,but I agree with your ex. Just the part about y’all each buying a set for both kids. (Not the whole mismanaging money part or the being bored for texting him). Then they’ll have a set at each house. That’s how my ex and I do it. We each buy for our own homes.
Like I said I do get where you’re coming from, I just think at least for me and my ex it’s easier just to buy our own stuff for our own homes
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Sadly this happens a lot. My ex-husband is the same way. Well, he actually doesnt provide anything at all, even for his house (they only get fed a max of 2x a day when there). I have to just send things they will need during their weekends. We have paperwork and everything that says we have to split everything 50/50 when it comes to essentials… he’s never done it. I’ve been in court too many times and got sick of it. It will have an impact eventually when our daughters realize it, I don’t have to do or say anything. It sucks, but he makes his own choices.
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If he is paying child support and you need additional help buying winter items just ask him to like buy their coats and you purchase the clothing. If he isnt paying then maybe go shopping together so he can see the actual dollar amount and not think you are cheating hin out on more $. Either way it should be 50/50.
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Sounds like a grade A asshole to me
Tell him to grow up! They only need 1 set of winter wear! Yes he should pay half! My ex & I do this every year. I buy our boys winter boots & snow suits & he pays half of the costs. Kids get what they want, right fit, & warmth, etc & we each pay! More than fair!!
My ex and I have 50/50 custody and we split everything to make every fair. He buys anything and everything he needs when he has our son and I do the same.
We don’t send clothes back and forth. Usually they come in a winter coat (during those months) but other wise we have their own everything at our home. 
in my opinion if its about the kids then just buy the coats and stuff. They are for your kids not ur ex.
If you are 50/50 then he doesn’t pay child support? If so then stop providing clothing for his house if he wants to play it that way. If he is paying child support then honestly he’s covering his portion. I provide all the kids clothes for my ex’s house and always have. On the other hand my husbands ex doesn’t send them with anything even though it’s in the divorce decree that she is supposed to. Unfortunately not everyone follows the rules or what’s fair. Even though my husband pays child support we still try and help with school clothes and school supplies.
Tell him great! Set up.a date for him to take them shopping. Say you will get their stuff after he buys their stuff first! Kind if like you did last year. Tell him thanks, that he is correct! Then don’t buy them any more like he did the year before!
If he’s truly a father, and a grown man, he should put his kids first! PERIOD! His answer should have been, “Absolutely! Whatever they need!” My grandson’s sperm donor, has NEVER asked my daughter if she needs any help with their son. She has busted her butt to provide for him. He’s never even bought a pack of diapers! He’s too busy, jumping from one girl to another, and choosing drugs over his children! 
I’ve been sharing my daughter since she was 3 1/2 she’s 17 now only one more year of dealing with her dad Thank God! Getting him to help out with anything is like pulling teeth so I’ve learned over the years just to work harder myself to provide everything she needs… it got to a point for me that it just wasn’t worth the stress or drama asking him for help I’d rather take care of it myself somehow.
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If he gets them one week on and one off then I’d make sure he gets them back in the same outfit they came to you in. Same with the coats. That way he’s not getting any of your stuff. It sounds petty. But sometimes we have to do what we have to do.
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Is it shared custody or dies mom have all the custody? If custody is split why not mom vuy for her home and dad buy for his? If mom gets it all she should’ve been getting child support from him to supply the kids. He helped make them too. He has no reason to act like he shouldnt have to share responsibility.
Really upsets me. I fought to get my daughter to make sure she was taken care of. Really upsets me how guys suck. I am a guy and guys suck sometimes. Fortunately my daughter is 32 and she gets it and remembers the little stuff. Sad but true.
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Just do it, my ex never bought my kids anything. He didn’t pay his child support until threatened with jail by the state. I never bad mouthed him and just did for my kids. My kids are grown now, they have him figured out. Guess whose house they come to and bring the grands to on a weekly basis and every holiday, it’s not split with him at all. We work out arrangements with their spouses families, and often we have all got together without him. They won’t even invite him to birthday parties unless I say it’s OK, because they care about me and how I feel. They will be adults longer then they are kids, they will know who was there for them and live their lives accordingly. …The cat’s in the cradle…
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Go to the store take a photo of the items and the tags create a wardrobe for the children total the price take thst to him say here is how much it cost to do 50/50 so I need x dollars from you to go purchase all theae things.
You buy your girls stuff to keep at your home and he buys for his home. I understand what he’s saying.
Just send them to his house next time they go in a spring jacket. And no boots. Then he’ll be forced to have to use his own. Selfish prick.
Honestly If you’ve never dealt with this you dont get an opinion
Me and my ex have 50/50. He buys for his house and i buy for mine
50 50…he doesnt need to buy for you…
I guess that must mean they have to switch out school supplies each week too…sounds quite 
crazy! And we wonder why we have so many children with emotional problems!
You may divorce but you never divorce your children…time for parents to put the children and their needs first.