Was it wrong for one parent to have an important conversation without the other parent present?

Let’s say parents are going there seperate ways. so obviously there are going to be two households. One parent has left and the parent that has the child that night has a very vague conversation With the child explaining what’s happening. Just stating the pros of two Christmas events, two birthdays, two Easter’s and two happier homes. Is the parent that used a comforting vague conversation with the child wrong for doing so without the other parent?

12 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Was it wrong for one parent to have an important conversation without the other parent present?

No. If that is all that was said seems like the other parent was just trying to provide comfort to their child since their whole world is changing

3 Likes

No. That parent left. If they wanted to be involved in the convo they should of spoke to the child before they left.

8 Likes

If the child was asking or wondering then no. If your child is wondering whats going on, its cruel to make them wait till both parents are there. Also if you guys are going to be splitting there will be many conversations on both ends that won’t involve both parents. Just keep each other informed on what has been talked about

1 Like

I think that’s okay… but if I were in this situation I would definitely sit down with the other parent and let them be included also. I can see how that could hurt there feelings.

No, that’s a part of being separated when you have children, you’re both not going to be there for every little thing. And if your child needs comfort, then it’s y’all’s jobs to provide with or without the other around.

5 Likes

Personally I feel both parties should have been available for said convo, just to ensure that child knows they are loved and whatever happened was/is not their fault etc but I also don’t see such a vague convo to provide comfort as such a bad thing either

No! Questions are going to come up at either house. Both parents need to have discussions about issues beforehand and shoot from the hip for other answers

NO!! Children have questions, especially about divorce…talk to the soon to be ex agree on what the child is going to be told and how and then you can each answer the questions when they come up. Don’t trash the other parent, even if that parent trashes you trust me kids grow up and remember that and you will look better to them as not being the one trashing their other parent.

sounds like he was just trying to provide comfort and only positive things were said. Doesn’t seem like a conversation you needed to be apart of but that’s just my opinion.

In my opinion is perfectly fine but it’s very important to talk about it with the other parent so they both are in the same page and give the child the same information so they are not confuse

No. If other parent wanted to have that conversation together with both of you present, said parent should have communicated that, and had it done PRIOR to moving out of the family home. You dont get to get mad or complain after the fact if you failed to communicate your own wishes. Be responsible, and plan ahead. It’s not like this conversation wasn’t something you both knew would be coming and would have to be addressed. It was something that should’ve been addressed immediately when the separation happened and before the one parent moved out. That way the children were prepared for that change. Of course the kid is gonna have questions for the parent who didn’t leave. Use your brain! This is a huge change. You thought the kid would just ignore it and not ask questions? Lol. Seriously… I’m mad for your kid! They deserve better communication going forward. But you both have to commit to working together on that, regardless of what caused the relationship to fail. Especially when the stakes here impact both of your relationships with your children in the long run. Think about that and do better.

It’s fine. As long as things were honest and not biased and stayed on topic. This just happened and you are already picking fights. So this should be fun…

No. The child has to be told something and I gather from this post that the parting is not amicable. The comforting nature of the conversation will let the child know that they are still loved and the break up isn’t their fault.

Yes!

It’s one thing if it’s mom having “the talk” with a daughter or dad having “the talk” with a son. Those conversations should be one on one.

A conversation about their parents splitting up is something that both parents should be mature enough to sit down together and talk to their child about.

Both out of respect for one another, but also to get your story straight. You tell a child their parents are splitting up and the first question is “why?”. You never wanna talk down or blame the other parent, so it’s best if you both decide what to tell the child together.

1 Like

Nope
If the other parent cared they’d have the conversation together with the child and other parent before leaving eavig

No, but keep it simple!!! That may have been a bit much with all things that are happening??

That is technically something that the two parents shouldve discussed ahead of time. I don’t think it’s wrong though esp if the kiddos asking questions. It’s better to have a vague positive conversation versus lying to the kid. They’ll remember and appreciate that their parent treated them as a person.

1 Like

Nope should’ve did it before the split now it happens when it happens who cares who is there or not be glad you get help

Ya you left out the topic which is like the most important piece of information here. Anyone giving you a real answer is giving you a shot on the dark.

Nope. Get used to it. That’s what happens in separation & divorce.
& The icing on the cake is when they bring a strange lover in & allow them to do the same.

1 Like

I think it’s funny how your trying to down play it incase your wrong… but if the child has questions then you can answer them if you know the answer

I would definitely want to sit down with the kids together.

But if it was a here’s what I can tell you for now AND we’ll have a more indepth convo about it later type of situation, it’s fine.