We are about to get married and he wants to bring other people into our relationship

Get away from him move on that’s serious red flags right there!!! Be glad he’s telling u this now and not after the marriage… Do yourself a favor and Walk away now!!!

Whew if my husband told me he wanted to be deep in another woman, he’d be living deep in his car.

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Bottom line is if he truly loved you him wouldnt want to share you with another man nor give those parts of himself to another woman i would call off the wedding and run if it was me and count my blessings before things get worse

I’ve been seeing so much of this lately! Is this like a NORMAL thing now with most men? Ladies! Stop letting these guys treat you like this!

I think my favorite part is he told her who she could sleep with… then she gets to pick who sleeps with, right? Since fair is fair?
No honey, you either need to talk to him and be blunt or leave.

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Run don’t walk he probley already has.

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I’d be gone before those words got outta his mouth

I’m so sorry. My heart literally hurts for you. I understand some people are both into that, which is fine. But not me! I would be crushed to hear that. Luckily you found this out before you got married. I would deffintly not be able to look at him the same knowing he’s thinking about other women like that & not happy with just me. I know its easier said then done, but you should really think about calling off the entire relationship. You deserve better.

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It’s good he brought it to your attention that is what he was feeling. If you are not ok with it (which I sure in the hell wouldn’t be) I would voice your concerns and why it will not work and why you think it’s not a good idea.
From there I would really consider marrying him when you were planning to because when someone has these thoughts in their head they don’t just go away.
So now I know you have all these feelings running through your head and it is definitely going to put a strain on your relationship.
I’m sorry you are going through this but remember your heart is only in it for one his may not be.

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He has doubts if that is his feeling. I say do not marry him and let him go. He needs to think about what he’s asking of you and realize he has to be faithful even now before the ceremony of marriage. This is not a good thing he is asking.

Get rid of him run run run

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He’d be deep in the ground lol

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Jesus… this sounds like you ended up with my ex :eyes:

I can’t think of any other situation than that now and my advice is to run so axe flipping far away that you get lost and never go back. I am so sorry this happened!! Brought back so many horrible memories reading this. I know that feeling all too well too. :face_exhaling:

Once, I went to an amusement park where there was a “zip line” type of ride available. It was expensive and only 2-3 riders could go at one time. It took time to get hooked up so, there weren’t many time slots available in the day to “get in line.”
I decided I would pay for two riders and we got the last time slot available for that day. As we were slowly being pulled up far above a small man made water source, seeing the people getting smaller and smaller and the park in full view I thought, wow… what are the chances we pull this rope and end up face first in the rocks below us with that foot of water to do nothing to break this fall :thinking: what if the line doesn’t break until we cross the platform and end up face first in rollercoaster :roller_coaster: metal? :joy:
Before I could imagine all the ways we would die, the countdown began and we were free falling into the unknown. That brief moment of free fall where your heart plummets into your nitty bits and your lungs curl up into your throat….
Yeah…. That’s the exact same feeling I got when I was told he wanted to sleep with other females.

Saving grace?
He admits to wanting to do it. You don’t have to find out after your next gyno check up that he’s been doing it.

Leave.

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He’s probably already done the deed, and now telling you that you can sleep his best friend Is a way for him 'to make it right ’ in his mind anyway… Cancel that wedding and be done…

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Get out of the so called relationship. He is not on the same page as you and it will never work.

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What the actual fuck did I just read???

DO. NOT. MARRY. HIM.

Yea… I couldn’t be with someone after hearing that.

Grr gone abt ur business while u can…4get him & all those other ppl…

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He’s a fool run as fast as u can away from him

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Time to break him up. There is no love in him. You should love and respect yourself and if he cant do the same for you then there’s no sense of being together. Marriage is not just sex always remember that. It is much much deeper.

Chop his balls off and feed him his own beef !

End the relationship walk away.

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I’d run, probably best you found out about this now before you got married.

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Ok so maybe I’m going a little against the grain here but I wouldn’t take any drastic steps immediately. Go for a coffee somewhere neutral and quiet. Talk about where you’re both at. So if he truly wants an open relationship he needs to be saying that before any binding legal documents get involved. I don’t think open relationships are bad, they’re just different. If you know you can’t meet his needs, and he knows that he can’t commit to meeting your need for monogamy long term, then you aren’t right for each other. And you both need to have an adult conversation about where you go from here. I totally agree that his timing is appalling with regards to the wedding but then we learn more about ourselves as we mature. The point is that he respected you enough to tell you the truth about this before the wedding. And I wouldn’t be jumping to assumptions either that he’s already cheated unless you have evidence of it. It’s totally ok for a relationship to look different on the outside, whether that’s multiple sexual or romantic partners or monogamy or whatever, as long as you and your partner are happy and satisfied then that’s what matters. And if he knows that he isn’t going to be satisfied by long term monogamy then he needs to be an adult and walk away. Just like if you know he wants multiple partners and you’re not ok with that (as you’re perfectly entitled to be) then you should walk away too. But have a sober calm conversation about it away from the house and the kids, arrive and depart from that conversation separately. People say stupid stuff during sex so get to the absolute root of the situation before you pack your bags.

Setup for marriage failure here’s a cautionary tale:

Confession time: Over 20 years ago, we got mixed up with the swinger lifestyle. We honestly thought it was fun, and couldn’t hurt us, since we both agreed. However, it wasn’t long before the guilty feelings started creeping in. We didn’t know what to do, then the day came when I learned she had seen a couple of guys, while I was at work. We had agreed to never do anything like that, without both of us being present.

I was furious, but more than that, I was hurt. It was emotionally devastating. I never dreamed my wife would cheat on me, but she had. We had an enormous fight. She threatened to leave me for one of the guys. Fortunately, he didn’t live locally, so I couldn’t do what went through my mind. Thank God, we both calmed down. I never called her names, and I definitely never raised a hand to her. But, once we were both calm, we had a very, very long talk. She apologized, and, yes, I forgave her.

Today, we are very happy together. We walked away from that sinful, and destructive, lifestyle. We are focused on each other, and have a better, more blessed, loving life than before.

I’m telling my story so that, if there is anyone even considering something similar, will understand the devastating effects it can cause. We were both Christians before we went down that road, but we thought we could justify our actions. God forced us to see that we couldn’t. I pray that anyone considering swinging, cheating, or any other form of sexual immorality will stop now, and let the urge pass. If you’ve already made that choice, please, take some advice from someone who’s be there, get out, before it’s too late.

May God bless you all.

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Do not marry him!!!

I’m heartbroken for you. YOU ARE WORTH MORE!! :100::100::pray:t3:

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Tell him, he already came from deep in a woman…
His MOTHER !:face_vomiting::point_left::point_up: AND TAKE YOUR LIFE BACK. DO NOT PROMISE IT TO HIM

Run. Fast. I had the same experience and have never been sorry that I walked away. That man’s life was filled with decisions and activities that would have made my life miserable had I stayed.

He’s going to cheat on you if he hasn’t already done so. Kick him to the curb. :hiking_boot:

That’s absolutely a deal breaker for me…

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Red flag honey. He is probably already doing it. He was just trying to get permission

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Jesus do not marry him!

He doesn’t love you if he doesn’t mind sharing you with a friend. I’m deeply sorry

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Girl… don’t get married. I’m so sorry thus is happening to you. Especially right before your wedding. If he hasn’t already cheated… then it’s a sure sign he will. He is not going to just stop wanting to sleep with someone else. He’s sadly probably already slept with someone, and wanting to make it okay by talking to you about this.

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Been there, don’t do it. It’ll ruin everything.

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He won’t sleep with you?Wtf would you want to sleep with him.
Wake up Alice from Wonderland!
Sounds to me like you got yourself a cheater on your hands+he wants you to ok it after the marriage by doing this,so he can hold it over your head.
I’d kick his ass to the curb ASAP!!
Like yesterday’s trash!

Look, it is one thing to want a spicy bedroom but if yalls relationship was gonna be a polyamorous one, then that should have been agreed beforehand.

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This happened for a reason right before your wedding ---- you can either take what happened as a sign and a HUGE red flag, or you can marry him and live feeling crushed over a situation that obviously has not been fully resolved yet. Your choice.

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He brings this up after 6 years??? Chances are he has probably already brought someone into the relationship. I’m sorry :disappointed: but better sooner than later

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Call the wedding off!!!

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Hang on to your money for wedding!

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Cancel the wedding then, he isn’t respecting your decision. He wants to sleep with another woman than he doesn’t deserve you. It doesn’t make it ok that he wants you to sleep with his best friend to make it EVEN. :triumph: F’ING PIG. End it with him, he’s only thinking of his own cock.:woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming::woman_facepalming:
I’m sorry your going through this but you’ve been given 3 signs that he will not remain faithful.

Im sooo sorry your going through that, always remember you deserve soooo much better than that. I agree with Rachel Hitt, maybe it’s a sign from the universe, God, whatever you label it. Especially since now he’s not sleeping with you? That sounds like the woman’s silent treatment almost.

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He’s going to do it with or without your permission. He’s just warning you. My ex husband did the same to me.

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He’s cheating. Get out now and thank your lucky stars that he brought this up BEFORE the wedding. If you do end up marrying him, you only have yourself to blame when he cheats.

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Take it as a big sign of the future to come and RUN!!! :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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Take your wedding money and leave him.

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He’s either mad about this which is very strange. Or he’s already deep in someone else.

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Get him out of your house he’s a butt hole

Run fast and far! :triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:

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I would really rethink on marrying this individual. He sounds like he not fully committed to you with all of his heart .

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Umm do you really need someone on here to tell you to walk away now?! And don’t you DARE make the mistake of marrying someone like this! I don’t care if you have kids together or not this man is not happy with you so walk away! Life is too short to put up with this. Go find someone that worships you. Period.

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How “nice” that he already picked somebody for you. Even if you agreed, why don’t you get to pick who you want to sleep with?

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That would be it for me.To each his own but as soon as i hear that you want to screw another female and to see another male screw me…you done f**ked the whole relationship up.I could not let that go…run!

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I would’ve gotten up out of bed, packed my shit and left immediately the first time he said that.

Cut your losses and move forward. He is never gonna be faithful to you

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Call the wedding OFF

This is so eff’ed up. I know you love him but you must love yourself more! Get out now! Find a man that only has eyes for you and will put you and your kids first! Don’t be this mans 2nd or 3rd choice!! FOR YOUR WHOLE LIFE! RUN!!!

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He started this all mid sex??? I’d be done done done. As much as it hurts. He doesn’t respect you and your kids clearly.

Please, please get out of this relationship!!!

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Don’t marry him. He’s not ready to commit to you. It sounds like he’s already looking elsewhere even if he hasn’t done anything yet

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Wow! What a dick! Cant trust a guy that wants to get his dick wet in another woman!
Trust your gut and leave him. Call your family and friends for advice. Tell them your thinking about calling off the wedding.
Think about your own happiness!

Run…Run far, run fast

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Listen… there’s ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with that arrangement… as long as it’s a completely mutual agreement and understanding, and VERY CLEAR boundaries are set in the beginning. BUT, if both parties aren’t on board, no. Run. He’s obviously not ready to commit to one person yet, and needs some exploration/experiences Before he is. Or maybe it’s his way of basically trying to back out on the marriage without saying so.
But either way, it’s a red flag. You know his hopes and wants won’t be met, and trust will be a huge issue at this point. And unfortunately, if you do go through with your wedding, it sounds like he won’t be fully happy or completely satisfied. And happiness for BOTH of you is what’s important. You deserve what you hope for, and he deserves to have his needs met as well. And unfortunately in this situation, it just doesn’t sound like your situation is compatible anymore. And you both may be better off and happier going your separate ways and not wasting time trying to force something.

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Maybe he already did it and is testing the waters to see how you feel about it

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… he already is … he’s just looking for an OK

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The strangest part is he want you to sleep with his friend. So he can feel better. No men I know.

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Actions speak louder than words. You said no and now he’s brushing YOU off. He’s trying to entice you to sleep with his friend for justification. If this is starting now then continuing to be going through with getting married to this man going to be messy. :upside_down_face:

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He’s already doing it. He wants you to do it too, so he won’t feel so guilty about it.

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RUN. He will never let it go and you will end up resenting him.

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Wedding would be off for me. I wouldn’t be able to let that go

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:triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post::triangular_flag_on_post:
Ok, now that you know his intentions, if you still go through with this “marriage” please know that he WILL sleep with other women. :woman_shrugging:t4:

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If that were me… I’d suggest he be deep inside a bubble bath with a plugged in toaster chucked in for good measure :tipping_hand_woman:t4:

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Don’t marry him. I have a friend whose wife bullied him into swinging and his life is falling apart. Hes trying to raise his kid while his wife’s focus is sucking strangers dicks. If you are not comfortable with this you never will be. I am so sorry this is happening to you. Save yourself! :heart:

This is something that should have been discussed pretty early on the relationship not months before y’all say I do. Wtf! I’d be devastated

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He probably already has…

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I would say He’s already cheating

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Run now that’s a big red flag :triangular_flag_on_post:if I ever heard one. Sounds as if he is second guessing and or has already cheated and is trying to justify himself.

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He’s been sleeping with another women already, or more… he just blurted it out, to see what your reaction would be.

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Girl :see_no_evil: he already cheated. Cut your losses now. If you decide to marry him anyway, you will end up miserable and alone

That’s not marriage you are as one in a marriage!!

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:triangular_flag_on_post: :triangular_flag_on_post: He’s probably already cheating

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Obviously he’s been thinking about this for a while your best bet is to run

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way, so close to your wedding day. :broken_heart:

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Run fast don’t look back

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Some people are swingers and want that life. Not personally for me but no judgment. The difference is both parties have to be on board and happy with it one side cannot be pressured. It sounds as if he may want that life and is trying to get you to want it too.
Likelihood if you don’t agree then he will cheat if he hasn’t already. Not nice to think about but the truth.
I know a couple of very happy swinger couples that adore each other but they had that conversation before they were serious so went into the relationship with that expectation.
Sorry you’re going through this but I would at least postpone the wedding and get counselling. If it was me I would leave but I know that’s not the answer to everyone especially when children are involved.
Good luck xxx

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It’s one thing for him too ask for a threesome but for him too say what he did,the way he did is just ridiculous

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I usually think people are too quick to judge based on their own experiences BUT. WOW. TOTALLY NOT FINE unless this is what you want in your life with him m forever. Is that what you want to expose your children Cheating from the get go

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I honestly have no words except, your feelings are 100% valid… I can’t even imagine what you’re feeling, and I am SO sorry you’re going through this!

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He has already done it. Good thing you found out BEFORE marrying him!! Leave. Fast.

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LEAVE!!! My ex mentioned having a threesome a few times, come to find out he already had his eye on a girl at his work. I ended up leaving him because he eventually cheated. When men say crap like that, they’ve either already did it or has their eye on someone. It hurts a lot. But a marriage shouldn’t be about having sex with others. It’s about spending the rest of your life with one person. This world has corrupted everyone’s mind. :confused: be strong love :purple_heart:

already has cheated I would bet money on it. Dont marry him you’ll end up divorced with years more wasted. Run!!

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Well. Honestly if it were me… I would not marry him. I would start back stepping out of that situation. But that would be me and what I want in my relationship, that scenario is a definite break for me.

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I’d definitely leave. He’s probably already cheated on you. If this isn’t what you want in a marriage definitely leave before you tie the knot. Because if he’s brought it up before you tie the knot he’ll keep bringing it up once you do.

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It sounds like he’s already seeing someone else and is feeling guilty about it

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Explain to me why u put this out for all to see all u need to do s kick his backside out the door and consider urself lucky

Although not for me he sounds like he wants to be a swinger. If that is not the lifestyle you choose then counseling is in order if he agrees that it’s not that important. It sounds like he is trying to express his wants before you get married (not appropriate how he did it imo). Real swingers vet and take precautions, tests, etc. to ensure safety of themselves. I say counseling bc for me, that trust would be gone thinking he wouldn’t be cheating to fulfill his wants. I’d need that reassurance. Whatever you choose, choose it for you and how you feel you could handle this situation. I’m sorry that is definitely a shock to the system. This is something he should of told you before he decided to have children with you. Not before marriage. That’s not fair at all.

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Run… Hes alrdy cheated

Leave!!! LEAVE NOW!!!

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