You’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
So you need to be careful about how you deal with this situation, most of the outcomes aren’t in your favor…& once you open this door you can’t close it.
You say yeah sure, even though every part of you is screaming no, and before you know it you’ve backed yourself into a corner you can’t get out of. It will become a regular request/occurrence. Regardless of how you feel or what you want.
You say yeah sure, thinking you can get through once, after all it won’t kill you, then in the future say no I don’t want to and he’s gonna manipulate you and make you feel guilty until you give in. Because after all you did it once so what’s the big deal?
You say sure let’s spice things up and bring someone in and now he’s got the expectation that he can bring someone in whenever and however he wants.
You say No and he’s going to keep bringing it up, possibly even make you feel bad and manipulate you, thinking he can wear down your resistance.
& either answer can be used against you to justify cheating. Break both down- you said yes, he cheats and you find out, he throws it in your face that you slept with his buddy so his cheating is justified. You say no, he cheats and you find out he says it’s because you wouldn’t consider what he wants & since you’re not meeting his needs he’s got to get it from someone who can.
Personally I think if you didn’t live that lifestyle previously or weren’t interested in exploring it at least before now and you’re reluctant for any reason about it, then no set of rules or any kind of boundaries is going to make you comfortable with it. And I imagine if you were interested in doing so or comfortable with the idea then you wouldn’t be asking for advice. At the end of the day you have to make a decision based on what YOU can live with regardless of how it turns out. Because the guilt and “what if’s” will eat you alive if it ruins your marriage! Good luck!!!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. We are about to get married and he wants to bring other people into our relationship
Thats just vile he clearly has no respect for you at all, or for himself.
Honey, if it doesn’t feel right to you, then he needs to respect it. I’d run like my tail was on fire. You’ve expressed a hard line and he keeps getting you to tap dance over it.
girl cancel the wedding, that’s just going to lead to him cheating.
For him to suggest you do it first so you can never be unhappy about it in his eyes…run…
Run!!! if its what he wants and u dont no doubt hel never honour his commitment in vows!!!
This is absolutely a big NO in a relationship. Even if you both are okay with it, eventually it will destroy your relationship. It will never be the same after, and not in a good way.
Wow he said that during intercourse? 
I’m sorry you’re going through this but if he wants to sleep with someone else that badly then you don’t need to marry him.
Um you need to run fast
Whooo the eeeefff says that 
Girl. Get whatever money you can get back and dip because he’s bound to cross that line even with you not being okay with it.
That being said “sleeping with his best friend to make it okay” 
he would hold that against you forever.
I would 100% not be walking down that isle any time soon. These are some serious things to deal with in a relationship. Don’t feel pressures ever to give in to him or appease him.
Yikes.
Red flag central. Cut your losses…it won’t change or go away. Be glad it was disclosed prior to being married
I would put off the wedding. That’s a big red flag:
The fact that he said that while doing the act with you. HELL NO. LEAVE.
Sounds like he wants to be a swinger. If that’s not for you than don’t marry him. I bet he’s already acting like he’s in an open relationship.
Yeah he ruined your marriage before it happened. Considered yourself lucky that you found out now and not after you were married.
That will only bring more problems on
It’s a type of sexual behavior that should be discussed before a relationship, not right before a marriage when you’ve been together for years. He should have told you while sitting down that he was interested in that kind of thing, not pushed you to do it in the middle of such an intimate moment. I would sit down with them and tell him that you’re not comfortable with that and if that’s the type of bedroom life that he wants to lead then he will be doing it without you. I can’t imagine ever doing that myself
Run before it costs you your life savings in divorce once he cheats on you. Sorry but fuckkkk that.
At least you’re not married yet!! Run fast. He has no respect for you!
He already has or has the other woman already planned
You and he obviously don’t read the Word of God.
Leaaavvveee!!! If u stay with him and get married… I’m pretty sure more likely he would decide to cheat on you! It’s huge red flag! He suppose to focus on you. That’s it, nothing else!
Well I wouldn’t be getting married. It’s sounds like a horrible situation but maybe better to have found out before you got married.
Get out while you still can
He isn’t ready unfortunately I wouldn’t say hold off on the marriage but y’all seriously need to talk and get on the same page and if y’all aren’t then that’s when you need to make your biggest move
Is this real?? Like ur joking right
If he said it while having sex with you then you should know how serious he was about it. That is absolutely horrible and unforgivable. Be glad you found out now and not after y’all were married! He will probably be cheating soon, if he hasn’t already.
say goodbye , run away this isnt going to be fixed by a wedding my dear , he wants to cheat and wants you to do the same so he can justify his actions , it will only get worse so get out and get out of this fast.
Honestly, I woupd be happy that he said that before you spent all that money on the wedding /= he is not husband material if that’s what it is for him
And I’m sorry but I think I would’ve punched him in his shit if he told me that while having sex
would not marry someone like this .
Cancel everything. Get refunds if you can . Do not marry a man who would say things like this while being intimate with you.
I’m sorry 
…but you can do better
All I can say is run 
feel free to pm me if you want to talk
If he was wanting an open relationship then that should have been discussed a long time ago. Not right before your wedding and definitely not during intimacy. Follow your gut on this. If it was me I would call everything off and leave. 
That’s not how ethical non-monogamy works. And him withholding sex to get you to consent is a real sleezeball move. You need to have a long conversation and decide if you even want to get married. It’s okay to ask about opening a relationship, but what’s not okay is how he’s treating you over it. He’s trying to force you to agree. Forced consent isn’t consent.
He has no Respect or love for you. Get out while you can.
No you’re not married yet but you’ve had children with this person and planned your life with and around them. For him to throw this at you last minute as if you’re going to settle Bc you want to marry him Is not fair. You know what’s not for you. Hold off the wedding and sort this out. I won’t tell you to leave that’s up to you. But it doesn’t seem like it will go away.
I wouldn’t shame him for it, as hopefully he just felt comfortable enough to ask you for a fantasy of his… but continuing to bring it up and offer his best friend to you…? I guess I get his sentiment… but nah lol. Sounds like hes not the one for you and you aren’t the one for him. Be glad it came to light pre vows, if you ask me.
Run! He already has someone in mind.
He’s probably already slept with someone else
I’m so sorry for what you are going through. But I would suggest to not marry him. Because honestly he is already seeing someone else and just want your approval.
Definitely do not get married he’ll just cheat.
Call it off! He won’t change
can i file for divorce on someone else’s behalf
They way hes telling you to sleep with his best friend makes me wonder if he hasn’t already slept around on you …
Run girl!!!
Looks like you dodged a bullet. RUN (away from the alter!)
He’s NOT ready for marriage. Run while you can!!! Get your money back and move on girl… quick
Forget the wedding plans He is a waste of good space
Whatever you do from this point on, JUST DO NOT GET MARRIED!
I’d call the wedding off
Nope n nope gotta go. He either has cheated or has intentions wedding is a joke jst cost u more to divorce in the end.
Thank him for saving you a future heartache and divorce and leave!!!
I’m sorry if he is now not sleeping with you over you not wanting him to have sex with someone else I would absolutely leave him or at least cancel that wedding. Boy needs to get his priorities straight
sounds like accidental polyamory, but ok would probably be willing to discuss it with you, and why the whole thing is a red flag. And that would be coming from people who are non-monogamous. Because this isn’t healthy.
Get your money back and walk away
I am so sorry, but this was a big sign for you to cancel the wedding and move on… Unfortunately with kids being involved, you will have to go about things as amicably as possible. But do not marry him.
You told him how you felt and he needs to respect that. I feel because he is asking to sleep with his best friend he either has some sort of attraction for her, or he has already thought about it / talked about it with her or maybe they have in the past. By him saying this it makes me think he won’t be faithful in the long haul. You guys should sit down and talk about this and if that’s the life he wants to have then you can either call your wedding off, postpone it, or stay with him. You got this! Just remember you don’t need a man especially one that won’t respect you and your relationship.
Girl cancel the wedding and run far away! He doesn’t respect you and he’s probably going to cheat before or after if he hasn’t already!
Just end it now, save yoir self time and trouble
I cannot believe he said that to you when you guys were having sex 
. I would cancel the wedding and leave asap.
Don’t marry him. he’s bound to cheat if he hasn’t already. You’ll find someone on your level one day. Never allow yourself to do things you don’t want to do because of someone else’s desires regardless if it’s your fiancé or not. It will hurt 10x more if you don’t do what’s right for you.
Der de Der. Stuipd to even ask. Leave.
Say good bye. He will cheat and your life will be miserable
If you ever asked for red flags, here they are. Even if you didn’t ask, there they are! I would walk away from him, if not run. When you allow other people in your marriage, in the most sacred of places, you can’t undo it, and your marriage will crumble. A marriage is between A man and A woman, not multiple people. Good luck!
Please go girl. This dude is a douche.
Bullet dodged. Leave while you can and find a man that only wants you.
Run, quickly. And get yourself tested stat- he is already stepping out.
Girl don’t marry him.
Cancel the wedding. Believe me. This isn’t a healthy relationship
If he is even thinking about having relations with another woman, I would run for the hills.
Can’t believe this crap is even being discussed on Facebook!!!
Cancel the wedding. NOW
He’s already sleeping with someone else.
oh no…
Set him free, hun. Forever.
And, once you’re ready, you go find someone with better boundaries, that doesn’t want a swinger’s lifestyle, or to share you with his best friend, and that will put you first.
I’d have dumped him the first time he mentioned it, what a pos.
This is sosososo sad. My heart breaks for you. I am sorry girl. I wish you the strength to get through.
You should cancel that wedding.
It’ll never change. Soon he’ll try to convince you it’s always been part of his lifestyle and you’re a prude if you don’t do it. Good thing he has presented you with his true colours by flying that big old red flag above your head. Don’t marry him. Ever.
Throw the whole guy away…start over. No seriously.
If he isn’t already cheating then he will. He’s expressed more than once he wants to sleep with other women. Girl, let him go.
Dodge that bullet… getout now
Hes already cheated! Move on.
He’s already cheating. Run.
Don’t leave if you have babies, kick him out!! What an idiot he is as you will never trust him regardless of what he says 
You’ll regret it later on
Wow. That’s something you’re clearly uncomfortable with. It sounds like he’s going to try to withhold sex so you’ll sleep with someone else so he can. And the way he said that during intercourse I’d have a big problem with. Wanting to open up the relationship is one thing but the way it’s being done is disrespectful, childish, hurtful, and immature.
Be glad you found this out before the wedding. Change it to a singles party. Don’t stay with someone who wants to sleep with someone else
Red flags! Don’t marry him. Try counseling and if it doesn’t help, start making arrangements to move on.
I’d tell him you’d like to sleep with another guy be for you get married x
Good thing you’re not married yet . He is already cheating or will cheat .
I think you’ve dodged a bullet there don’t marry him it’s not worth marrying him when he has you so upset now.
Best he told you now instead of after the wedding. Tell him to GTF out of the house. You deserve someone so much better.
I mean. It’ll really bring problems, sometimes it does sometimes it doesn’t, but really it’s all if both is comfortable and set certain boundaries and come to an agreement with everything
For God sake don’t allow yourself to be manipulated like this. You haven’t even said the vows and his mind is on screwing other ppl.
I wouldn’t be going though with the wedding
No f n way. Respect yourself. Know your value and add tax!!! You are not stuck! You need to find someone who is all about you and only you 
Run. Take what you can get and run as fast as you can.