It’s open enrollment right now. Your boyfriend needs to put him on his insurance and get him to a doctor. Or, just take him and pay the bill yourselves. Just get him seen.
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This is a scary situation
To play devils advocate;
My son has severe ADHD. Prior to medication my kiddo was literally running into walls. The first time we saw his adhd doctor he had a circular cut by his eye from running into a clothing rack. He didn’t eat. We would feed him, but he couldn’t sit still to eat. So he just didn’t.
Last year, when he started school he lost 4ibs from not eating at school and being on meds (long story)
He answered every question with i don’t know. He couldn’t tell you where bruises came from; he couldn’t tell you what he’d eaten or was given.
Is there any possibility something like that could be going on with him?
Given what you said about a previous CPS case, i tend to agree with you about him not being treated well at home (i just had to point out sometimes there are other reasons). From here, the best thing you can do is talk to his dad. Getting CPS involved is something dad needs to be aware of and on board with. Once you guys have that conversation, call CPS when he goes back to his mom’s; report it anonymously. As sad as it is sometimes situations like this fall through the cracks because the initial call looks like someone trying to win a custody battle. Don’t be surprised that you guys will probably be investigated too.
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I would take him to dr when sick and take pictures of the bruising, be sure his face is visible in the pics so they can be used as evidence in custody battle. Ask him if he remembers how he got the bruises and document what he says. If you constantly call cps on mom, CPS won’t take you serious after a while. I wouldn’t be so much worried about the weight because my youngest was tiny. She stayed 35 lbs from 4 to 7 years of age. She ate regularly, she could wear a 3T in pants and shorts. She was just small. She’s almost 20 and is still small. Barely five foot and before she got pg she was just under 100 lbs. Also most kids that age have some bruising just from being a kid and doing things kids do.
Don’t need any of his medical information if you take him to the er.
U don’t need his medical info to take him to the doctor. Worst case u pay out of pocket for the visit, the kid gets seen and then you’re on ur way.
Take him to the ER. Get police report, CPS, get emergency court order.
If you dont have the insurance info apply for insurance yourself or petition the courts to order she share the info. With 50/ 50 custody you should have equal access to his paperwork. If you dont have his birth certificate or ss card go get them at your local offices ect. Set him up with your own family doctor ect if he is sick all the time he might have some serious health issues if he isnt being abused and they need to be addressed. If she isnt sharing the info take him on your own but I dont reccomend hiding any of it from the mom so she cant use it against you later. Keep documentation of you letting her know you took him to such and such apt due to sickness, worry some bruising ect. If she gets upset that’s on her and if she tries to argue he already went ect just simpily say I’m sorry we didnt know you didnt inform us and we felt he needed seen. Id recomend letting the father do all of that kind of contact with her to be safe. I am not sure about the mother so id take pictures of him when he arrives and when he leaves to show you aren’t the cause of the marks ect. Once you have enough evidence ect then take it to the courts and request further custody ect.
I went through something similar only the mother was more interested in a bf then her son but your husband should be able to get his medical records without her he just needs proof that he is the father and make sure to document everything take pics of marks brusises save texts etc plus with 50/50 he should be entitled to any paperwork regarding his son school medical etc if she refuses to give you information I would file a contempt order against her for not providing information
If he doesn’t want to go home with her and he wants to stay with you it’s a good sign he needs you to step in an help him. Police, ER, Lawyer, Doctor do something before it’s to late to do anything. His mom may need anger management or a class on how to parent. The child may be being left with the teenager alone and they are beating him. Find out ask questions? If you can’t do it get professionals involved fast.
Start taking him to the Dr the day you get him and the day before you give him back to her. With your own dr. Keep a journal on his behaviour like scoffing his dinner and thanking you. Next talk to your partners lawyer
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Yes!! You have a lot of good advice from above! Plz do something! DOCUMENT EVERYTHING! The sooner the better for that lil boy! Do it BEFORE something irreversible happens! You’ll just hate yourself if you don’t ACT NOW!
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Get a lawyer, he’ll tell you to document EVERYTHING and take pictures. Give that boy all the loving you can when you have him and reassure him that he’s safe and maybe he’ll start opening up. 
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Pictures pictures pictures. Weigh him everytime he comes. Take him to the hospital when he arrives with bruises. Drs will make a report themselves. Dad has shared custody he has a right to medical files. Contact his pediatrician. Good luck
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Make sure u document in a journal any incidents when he is with the mom and please take pictures as soon as u pick him up from the moms…my brother in law is going through something similar and they document everything…also, if u take him to a dr. And they say he is malnourished, ask if the dr. Could write out a statement of some kind
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Take him to the doctor, get the injuries and weight. Do this everytime he comes to you a6share your suspicions with his pediatrician. They will have to investigate. Also get that poor baby in to counseling. A good child psychologist should be able to help as well
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If you have 50-50 custody he has every right to go to the doctor’s office and request a copy of the record he doesn’t need the mom for that he just has to go in with a copy of the court order showing he has every right and also you have the right to take him to the doctor yourself and have the doctor check it out himself and if that’s the case all he has to do is filed an emergency motion to reduce parenting time and just provide any proof that he has found
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Take him to the doctor anyway. Tell them she refused to give you even a copy of his insurance card.
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Documents everything time yall get him. Even take pics of new or inquisitive marks or bruises. For my niece, we went thru this. I’ve had to call dss/cps an remain anonymous, or called pd for well fair checks. Prayers for yall
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Get a nanny cam and start recording !!
Gather as much information as you can, document dates, events, take photos and date them.
The more evidence you have the better !!
Talk to teachers and school counselors ,give them a heads up as well, they can advocate for you .
Counseling also he can take her to court and make it so she legally has to give up the medical information including doctor and it can be court ordered to allow dad to take him. Until then take him to a urgent care or we they are mandatory reporters and have to report any suspicious behavior
Take pictures when you get him and when he leaves your care. Keep a journal and take him to an urgent care and pay the cost. You have to have documentation
Take him to doctors immediately have a full check up done. Then get a lawyer.
His dad has equal and all access to medical records, appointments etc
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I wouldn’t give a damn. Take him to the ER. So what if you have to pay for it out of pocket. Please save this child before it’s to late. Oh this breaks my heart.
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Take him to a doctor for an exam and the doc will see the bruising and you and your fiancé can tell him what you suspect is going on.
Take pictures, record phone calls and file for emergency custody
Also when u take him.to the doc…perhaps an xray or 2 might show something deeper… best to be safe than sorry…
Go to the authorities and get a restraining order !
Honestly if CPS says go to Dr. To prove malnutrition. Do it if you have to pay out of pocket then do it, in return if it comes out he is, she would have to pay when you battle it out in court. Also take pictures as well as document and find a bulldog of a lawyer.
Please get that child away from her now.
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Get a lawyer…take her to court.
Don’t tell FB; tell the law !!
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Take him to the ER and tell them your concerns
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Call child protective services and let them investigate NOW!!!
You don’t need her to take him to the Doctor.
Father goes to his pediatrician with his birth certificate to get a copy of his medical records.
Mother doesn’t need to know.
Take him to a children counselor to talk to them.
Mother doesn’t need to know.
She can’t stop him !
Call the cops where she lives and ask for a welfare check …also contact the child’s Dr. And teachers …if he has 50/50 custody he has full rights to ALL of his child’s records…petition the court for emergency custody agreement …ask to talk to a SUPERVISOR at DHS …contact elected officials if you dont get results WHATEVER it takes to make sure that child is safe
Document everything and tell your fiance to send someo e out to do a welfare check. Woth this a police officer and cps worker will go to the house unannounced to see whats going on
Your fiancee is the father and HE is the only one other than the child’s bio mom with any legal right to take the child to the doctor, emergency room, counseling or hospital, make complaints and file for physical custody or residential custody.
As long as they have 50 / 50 custody the boy goes back to mom half the time.
So the father is the one that has to petition the court for RESIDENTIAL CUSTODY or PHYSICAL CUSTODY if you guys are going to raise him.
The father should take photos and videos of the child. NOT YOU. Bio dad needs to be very careful what he talks about on video or what he asks the child because he does not want to sound like he is coaching him what to do or say.
If he has the court order custody papers he can go to the child’s doctor and get copies of his medical records and he can take the boy to another pediatrician for a full physical evaluation. The emergency room doctors may or may not do a full physical if the child is not in any acute distress at the time so your best bet is to make an appointment for a full physical with a pediatrician of your choosing.
Failure to thrive or malnourishment can happen for a variety of reasons from neglect to illness so keep that in mind.
Dad needs to hire a lawyer or contact a Fathers Legal Rights organization.
The background between you and her is not relevant to the custody hearing.
The only relevant info or issues the courts will look at is the Father’s ability to care for his son and provide a stable home environment and or the mothers neglect of the child.
Let the father be the lead handling this issue. Even if you were married the courts will focus on bio parents to make any decisions
If he’s showing up with new bruises all the time take him directly to the ER. They are bound by law and are mandated court reporters to report to children services if there’s evidence of child abuse. And as others have said, take pictures every time he comes and document everything.
Sounds like her rights need terminated straight up.
Report it to the courts and CPS