Hi could you post a question for me.
Just curious how other moms have navigated the preteen ‘dating’. I have a 12 year old girl who is often talking about her different crushes in class. And as this is her last year before high school I’m nervous to start the whole boyfriend/girlfriend conversation. At what age did your girls go on birth control? Talking to my husband is useless… He’s living in denial that his little girl is never going to grow up…
I have the same issues with my girl but when they say “dating” they dont really “date” it’s just a word. But it shows she has interest so talking about safe sex is better than giving her birth control😊
I would start talking to her and answer any questions she might have about sex Ed. At 12 I think they take that class. I wouldn’t ask for birth control, especially pills until a period routine is well established, but I’m sure an MD would be better suited to discuss this with you and your daughter. For now establish communication in an informational, non-judgemental type of way.
Have an open and honest conversation with her about dating and boys and sex and let her know that you will always be there for her and not to judge but to love and protect her. Keep the communications open at all times, we live in a different world where kids grow up very early
My daughter is currently 12 and we have been having conversations about protection and periods and boys since she was in 6th grade. She’s very open and honest with me and most of her friends are with me as well. She went to camp and came home and told me about a boy that likes her and she likes him but she didn’t give him her number or anything because she felt she needed to talk it over with me first. Also if you know someone who has a tiny terror (I mean toddler) have her be responsible for that kid for about 12 hours, with you around of course, but not helping unless absolutely have to. She will see how hard it is. But for the most part just educate her make sure she knows about protection and the risks of having sex.
Birth control can be tricky with girls that young. I might discuss this further with a doctor only because I know throwing off hormones like that could potentially cause an imbalance while her body is in the midst of figuring out how to regulate its own during puberty. 12 sounds very young to me, as a non medical professional. I’m not about sticking your head in the sand and ignoring anything either, but I will say just because she likes boys doesn’t mean she’s intrested in anything physical either.
My daughter got put on the pill at 12 because of problems with her period, and we did the implant at 14 because the pills weren’t helping. As far as dating her and I have always been open about dating and boys. She wasn’t allowed solo dates until she was 15. The more open you are the more comfortable she will be with discussing things with you.
Be careful with birth controls, especially the implants, they cause more bad then good in some cases. Knowledge goes a long way, some graphic birth videos and statistics about how many people out there even young people have so many diseases, I think it’s one in four people. Just be real. These kids are growing up on teen Mom and all kinds of other nonsense, teach her how to masterbate, and then she won’t need a boy to be causing her all kinds of problems. Kids that young don’t need to date, that’s a lot of what’s wrong with things nowadays, kids too young being allowed too much responsibility. Be her mother and be real. That’s what I wish mine would have done, but she clammed up and just didn’t talk to me about anything and I hate her for it.
I’d talk to her make her comfortable with telling you everything… and slip that shit in her orange juice
I wouldnt necessarily ban her from dating because she will date with or without your permission. But you want her to feel safe and I think youd rather be aware of what shes doing and where shes at rather than her hide it from you and you not knowing anything. Definitely talk to an obgyn about the birth control though like a lot of other people mentioned. Or get something with no hormones if shes able to.
Why do people believe that being on birth control automatically means it’s the okay for sex? I had sex when I was 15, never on birth control and lucky I didn’t get pregnant til I decided too. My mother didn’t talk to me about anything and relied on the education from school. I approached my parents to have my first boyfriend at that age and we dated into highschool. Just be open with her. Talk about dating, how a man should treat her, make sure she can come to you when she is uncomfortable. Met his parents, make an effort to know her friends. Led the conversation about how highschool is different and full of peer pressure and body changes. You don’t have to drive the conversation about sex.
I would be talking with my daughter at that age about safety precautions in sex, not just with boys but with girls too. I want her to be safe in whatever situation she is experimenting with. With going to high school I would want her to have correct information than learning/hearing wrong information from other students.
Definately talk with a Dr before starting any medications.
I’ve had this discussion with mine at a young age. Once she started “blooming”. I want her and myself to be prepared and honest and open. To not be ashamed of certain feelings she is having. My daughter is 13 now.
Also there are some really cool, age appropriate books on all sorts of things like tampons, body changes, pads, shaving, body image, breast development etc. They’re really cute and helpful.
Shes too young to date but shes starting to like girls. She doesnt like boys as at all. So we have a lot of open discussions and she has a lot of questions.
I agree with a lot of the other comments. Start talking with her now. Start building that trust with her now before she’s started to date or experiment so that when she does, she feels comfortable coming to you to talk about it. As awkward as it may be at first, don’t feel shy about talking to her and being HONEST with her. Tell her your own experiences and stories. As for me personally, I got my period when I was 12, and by 13 I unfortunately had several severe cysts on my ovaries and because of that I was put on the depo shot. That was almost 15 yrs ago now, and I would never recommend the depo for ANYONE. If she has started her period already, and you feel the need to start her on bc, talk with her doctor about the safest options. Keep condoms on hand for her for when she ever goes out with friends or to have a sleep over with friends. Just in case. Make sure she knows the importance of using them and using them correctly. But definitely keep listening, start the convos about it already, and make sure she knows she can always trust you and come to you.
I talk to my 13 year old to abstain from sexual activity, I give her reasons why. Then I told her I’m open to birth control. But teens aren’t ready for a sexual relationship. Their brains aren’t ready for it. My husband is a nurse he sees horrific images of people with STDs even young teens. Have the huge talk. My daughter was very open it was surprising what she knew and she said she’s not ready for boys, yet! Keep talking to them communication is the key.
I have nothing against birth control. I started it in middle school because my periods were so awful. However. I don’t believe birth control is the soul answer. Educate your children. On sex. pregnancy. Stds. HIV. HPV. So many of our children have the “it won’t happen to me.” “they don’t look like they have aids.” complex. And I’m sure many of us also had that complex growing up. its not just about preventing pregnancy. Educate them on protecting themselves from all of the other possibilities as well. the schools do not educate and push this enough in my opinion. Educate your sons and daughters! Pregnancy is not the only thing to be worried about when it comes to sex in any form.