I need help. I am looking for healthy ways to discipline my two-year-old. I am new to this parenting thing. I also do not want to create the issue I have. That my grandparents and aunt did to me as I was growing up. Spanking I do not like; I feel it teaches violence, especially in little boys. I want him to understand there are consequences for his actions. So mamas, please help.
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Depending on what the “offense” was I put my toddlers in time out. If it was something I could redirect, I would do that but if it was hitting or something like that then it was time out.
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Okay I dont spank, but I will give him a tap on the leg because I cannot get my little ones attention any other way -_-
Other than the light pop for serious offenses, I redirect and will be starting time outs. It’s a lot of keeping your cool and not getting aggravated
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Look up PCIT it’ll help
Time out if it’s a tantrum I just walk away and they stop
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Time out corner for 5 minutes and /or take toys away. No candy or treats that day
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A “chore chart” of good behavior with stars when you catch them being good helps. Maybe even a red dot for bad behavior if needed, but often mostly positive reinforcement works; just the not getting a star/sticker is enough.
At the end of the day they get a reward or lose something (preferably non-food) or something taken away depending on the balance. Positive = extra story, 15 minutes extra screen time, get to pick a new toy from the rotating toy collection. Negative = one less story, 15 minutes less screen time, having to confiscate a toy.
You have to decide if it was an accident or exuberance vs. deliberate “bad” behavior. A quick and simple explanation of why something isn’t good helps too.
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Time out in the corner for 5 minutes or more depending if he stays in the corner the first time.
Try 1,2,3 MAGIC…look it up. I don’t think 2yrs old is too young for this method…but each kid is different. The key is to stay consistent.
A 2 year old can’t grasp the concept of consequences. A child doesn’t even begin to develop impulse control until 3 years old, so any discipline used before then is for something they physically can’t comprehend or control. The only thing that works at 2 is redirect and model the behaviour you want to see. An example would be, if he’s throwing toys, remove the toy and say “we can’t throw this it could hurt someone, here let’s throw this pillow. see how soft it is?” … or “we only throw things outside, let’s go outside and throw this ball. Wouldn’t that be so much fun?” Don’t constantly tell him what he can’t do, tell him what he can do instead.
Focus more on building a relationship over trying to “make him pay”, and he will develop trust and empathy that way, thus become motivated to correct his behaviour on his own accord instead of because an authority figure is telling him to do so.
If you absolutely must use discipline because nothing else is working, time ins are more effective than time outs, and I’ll share a link that explains why. It also has a great “ages and stages” section that is very helpful.
I’m not sure what exactly you are having a hard time dealing with, so I’m going to recommend this group, since it is full of advice for every situation you could imagine.
Gentle Parents Unite
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Conscious Discipline
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Whatever method u choose, always remind them the behavior the r doing is not ok and there are consequences. Just tell them everytime u put them into timeout or whatever u choose to do and as they grow the will learn this. If they dont pickup the toys, tell them ok if you dont you wont have any toys to play with. Of course i have cleaned them up but the next day i do not take out the toy she refused to put away, and after some time of repeating the same thing, she actually cleans her toys up herself and sometimes i dont even have to ask her ( she will be 3 in a couple of weeks) but stay strong mama its not an easy job!!!
Two of our kids had ADHD. I did not want to be one of this parenta those kid you can hear throwing a tantrum in walmart across the store. We tried everything to avoid having to put our kids on medication for it and a school counsler introduced us to 1, 2, 3 Magic! Look it up. Uou have to be consistent and follow threw.
Toddlers want your attention. Give attention to the behavior you want to see. When they are throwing a tantrum: walk away, pick up a toy, start playing nicely with it, wait for them to come over. Say over enthusiastically thank you for playing nicely when you see them do that, thank your for playing quietly… Give lots of praise and attention when they are going things you want them to continue. Give lots of little choices. Choice of cups for drinks, shoes to wear, clothes to wear etc…
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Redirection worked great for me. I also didn’t use the word no, I just explained why we don’t do something and redirected to something positive.
No offense but I was spanked, and so was my parents and I loved, but mostly "respected " my parents for doing so when I had done wrong…the issue is to let them know you love them just not that behavior
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Look up choice based parenting and healthy parent-child boundaries 
I haven’t spanked yet but if my kid does something serious that worth one (ie running into the road after I tell them not too), I will. I pick one spot and I use that as her time out spot if she’s not listening and I keep putting her back, one minute for every year. It’s the carpet in the hallway for me, and I ignore her. She’s in my line of sight and not near anything that can harm her and she’s left to cry and scream. If she gets off before the minute and a half is up, time is paused and she goes back
Speak with a preschool teacher for tips.Seriously…
Working at a daycare center I learned so many different things and it really helped as my baby got older…I do not hit or spank…I redirect.Postive reinforcement.
I had a terrible time with my first born. Honestly thought she was bipolar. 
Then I realized how happy she was when she did good things and I praised her. So I started praising her even for small things. Your child will always want to please mommy…especially when you give such positive feedback. The more youfeed them positives the more they will want to do positive things. I was honest and when she did something she wasn’t suppose to be doing I would tell her that she hurt my feelings and explain why it hurt my feelings. It works 
started right from the gate with my second and it worked with her and my nieces and nephews as well. 
good luck!
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I’m a firm believer in helping kids learn their emotions and learn how to regulate them.
Young kids don’t know what emotions they are feeling, and need help to recognise them and learn how to cope with them in ways that aren’t crying. Crying is the natural response, it’s what babies do and it’s the only way kids know how to respond until we teach them
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Time out, but it has to be immediate and consistent, my boy hates being removed from a situation that is happening if he does something wrong, and once he’s had time to sit and regroup it’s all good
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I had a psychologist tell me once but it is impossible to spank a child for everything they do wrong. The average child breaks a rule or does something wrong several times a day. He said you have to decide what requires a spanking and what doesn’t, then you have to decide what to do for those times and spanking is not needed. He shared with me his way of punishing his children who were all special needs. I made a few changes to it and started using it with my two children. We call it “blackout”, and it has worked wonders. For the younger children their main punishment was time out but then as they got older I used the concept of writing essays. Instead of telling a child to go sit for x number of minutes and time out or to write an essay that is x number of words long, I would tell them you owe me either the time out or the essay. Until I got my time out or my essay from them, they were in what is called blackout. Blackout can be as lenient or as intense as you want. Until they complete their punishment, you limit things. For example, there would be no toys, no TV, no books, no phone, no extracurricular activities. They would wear clothes that I picked out for them; keep in mind I would never have them wear something that was ridiculous or cause them ridicule from their peers. They would eat the foods that I cooked and received no treats. However, if there was dessert for the rest of the family, the rest of the family could have dessert but the child being punished could not until I got my time out minutes or my essay. For the older kids, you can extend the blackout. For example, my daughter was not allowed to have a hair dryer or curling iron. You can extend that to makeup if you choose, but my daughter never wore it. I only had to use this once on my youngest. For my oldest I had to use it three times, but we saw a definite change in her behavior after we started implementing this type of punishment. On the positive side, she became an excellent writer. The first essay I did not proofread, but every essay after that I did. Did I mention that I used to proofread and edit papers in college for extra money? Each time you have to punish the child, you either add minutes to the time out or a certain number of words to the essay. In regards to the essay, you as the parent pick the topic. I would always pick a topic that was relevant to why they were being punished.
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Btw, timeouts are supposed to only be a minute per year old.
I do short time outside. He sits in his chair for 3 minutes as he gets older the time will increase.
My mom spanked me and I’m fine…one quit swat on the behind won’t teach them violence…just how to behave…ignore a tantrum…paying attention to it too much…then they know how to get your attention…i used a helping spoon
…my friend used hot sauce r
To put in her child’s tongue if they used bad language…
Time outs did not work for my children
Time out chair/spot One min for however old they are. 1 = 1 min etc
I have a two year old little girl I always tell her something no more than 3 times if she fails to listen I tell her to sit in time out and explain why she is being put there other times I get to her level In a Stern voice I let her know what she is doing is wrong and that kind of behavior isn’t acceptable.
I have had 6 children my older five had a father with me so if they messed up all had to do is raise his voice my last son who I had there is 18 different between him and my last child so because I was then on my own I two nedded help how do I dissaplaine him so I went to perenting classes and I can say its the best thing I did they used things like make your child sit on the stairs for a time you think is necessary this is called time out so every time they mess up take them to the stairs tell them they are not allowed to move until they can behave and when they are good reward them with stickers they can eat her put in a good book or on a wall board I made my own and glued a small magnetron them so they could go on the fridge make all different ones that say I have been good my son loved the fact he was getting a sticker when he was good and he would run and put it on the fridge then I would just remove them a state again
Well I got 23 grandkids you can’t keep repeating your self I learned that after three times they need to hear that mean voice. I hate when I hear parents at stirs sweetie stop like a millions do something about at a young age or that kid child gonna walk all over you when my kids started touching stuff I hit them on hand not that hard but all my grand kids that came over knew better then touching my stuff in my liveing rooms so it starts at a young age now days you see these parents just yell not me and there nothing wrong with spanking I won’t be yelling that much my grandkids all listen due to how we raised them who gonna want to yell ten times that’s just me
Set a tone in your voice when you tell him no and to behave it works while they are still young they will eventually read your tones when you talk to them as they are still babies and have to be taught whats right and whats wrong they learn fast.
When he is old enough to understand, show him pictures or videos of naughty things he shouldn’t do ie dirty room, pulling kitty’s tail, tantrum in a store or restaurant etc, Ask HIM what he thinks the punishment should be and together, you two (or both you and your SO) write them down (or show in pictures of he cant read) so he know exact consequences for the rules he chooses to break.
I don’t call it time out corner. I call it thinking corner. The child can choose any corner and think about his actions and is welcome to come apologize or discuss how he feels any time.
No need to face the wall either. I don’t want this action to be a negative thing but a learning experience and teach him how to be graceful and apologize.
And we always have a good discussion about how effects of his actions would do. It works every time.
This is what I do with my 4 year old. I got a 2 year old too. But he’s too young to understand the process… So we have a phrase that he understands. “It’s a no no”. It’s “dangerous”. He understands. And if he makes a mistake and I got mad… I apologize and hug him… He hugs me back… And says “I’m sorry, mommy” “Are you OK?”
Natural consequences… if he is throwing dinosaurs… you tell him no. If he continues… he loses the dinos. He hits someone? He is removed from the situation until he can be nice. He throws food… he needs to “help” pick it up. As he gets the hang of it… the consequences start to make sense.
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I use time outs for big stuff otherwise redirection works really well. Sending love. I understand completely where you are coming from. I firmly believe spanking just teaches children they can hit others into submission. Ive got a 3 year old and have had no need to spank him. He is a wild little boy but he responds well to my techniques.
Time outs or time ins, a behavior chart that gives incentives for choices. If my son gets a red choice he gets things taken away such as tv time, bedtime snack, etc. if it’s bad enough he goes right to bed after dinner. He is still learning but it’s happening
If my son hits i take tv away for the night and explain that to him. Its working so far
Time out to I make them stand sit by wall sit them on a chair I do
Start out with time outs that works alot
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And do a minute time out and then increase as ur child gets older
I have the same problem with my toddler, time outs arent working for us when it comes to him. Following for advice
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Look into Conscience Discipline.
I rarely spank. I do smack on the hand when they reach for things they can’t have but even that is rare. I always take away a toy/toys. If they throw toys i get to keep that toy usually only for a short period as my kids are 3 and under. I also make them sit down on the couch if they are being too unruly which is rare. My 9 yr old when she was 7 i took everything from her but her books and bed thats all she had for months because she kept destroying all her toys breaking things on purpose. She has been amazing since. I also believe in talking to them at their level get eye to eye and speak to them. Sometimes speaking quietly is more effective than yelling
Never threaten your child with a punishment you can’t see through. Spanking is ok if the action is possibly threatening to the child…i.e…walking into the road…getting to close to the water…walking off with strangers