I wasnt making anything when I left my daughters father. But I needed out of the toxic relationship. I got a second job and moved out on my own. It was hard the first couple months. Then I got a promotion for hardwork and was able to provide with one job.i got a lawyer which I pay monthly for custody/support now so it wasnt off the bat. One step at a time. It’s been 3 years since he and I separated.
I understand not wanting to take from him but u r entitled to half of the marital assets so take it. Its not mean or cruel, especially since there is a child involved. Take everything u r entitled to and hold ur head high. Think of it this way, taking what u r entitled to gives u a start to make a home for the child. U have to think of that too. Even if u have 50/50 custody the child needs a nice place to stay when its with u. So yes, get a lawyer and take what u r entitled to. Having a lawyer and doing that doesnt mean it wont b amicable
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You can go to the court house pick up the packet fill it out
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Yall shady AF. Telling her to wait till 10 years before filing so she can get 1/2 his retirement. I can dig it if it benefits the children but thats HIS retirement, and he is the only one who should be entitled to it. If he served the country and earned it himself then its his. You said live on military base, so only guessing he is employed by the military.
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Well u can get alimony for sure . And u have kids u get child support. Other wise u take what’s yours and he takes whats his. Theres cheap places that does all paper work for u and u just show up to court. I paid 468 for my divorce , I get child support and alimony, he pays 75 percent of kids medical and child care, he pays my mortgage and insurance on the home till its paid in full, he has no custody at all but can take them when ever he wants becuz I allow it. I ask for money for the kids he gives it. The child support is based on your income and his . Even if u weren’t working they still put minimum wage as income. My ex owns a business making over half a mill and I couldn’t access his paper work to prove it so he doesn’t pay no where near what he should but no biggie . He gets the kids what they want regardless. U can only get half of what was purchased during the marriage not before . If u have a house together he can let u have that and he can continue to pay on it like mine did. He only did it becuz he wants to make sure kids are taken care of not all men are like that however. Just depends on how u wanna handle it. If hes willing to negotiate then it will be fast and easy. If u guys work together on it , it will go smoothly but if either puts up a fight u gotta have money to pay a good attorney.
Every state is different. I found a female due to most being understanding. And one that had no problem being hard on me too. She is a fighter.
It’s not going to be easy. But bottom line it’s all about money. Hope your husband is a reasonable person
Take it from a girl that divorced a guy after 15 years with 3 kids and a low paying job. If you are that unhappy just take the plunge you will figure it out. You will also find out there are people that are with you that you didn’t realize were. I didn’t ask for anything from my ex. Not his retirement, alimony, not even child support. We did 50/50 custody with me being primary physical. Switched off on Sundays at 6. We also went to a lawyer tho. But when we got divorced we were in total agreement. We sat down and discussed every little thing. From who got what vehicle to who had the kids and when.
Sounds like you are wanting to be fair and that’s okay. So maybe look into a job that pays more than $25k a year. I mean as a woman wouldn’t you feel better knowing you can sometimes support yourself on your own as well as your kids. Child support isn’t a permanent income. I mean what he if lost his job?
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You sound like you cant afford it. With that being said. You can do it, you will have to sacrifice, eventually you will get there, oh…and you’ll need to start making more money. That’s how we all do it. Hard work, sacrifice, and saving.
PSA-
She WILL NOT get ANY of his retirement if she is married to him LESS THAN 20 YEARS! The UCMJ changed that rule in 2005 because soldiers were getting screwed over by unscrupulous women!
If the marriage ends before 20 years, the former spouse is NOT ENTITLED TO ANYTHING! After 20 years, the former spouse is entitled to a PERCENTAGE of the service member retirement.
#FormerArmyWife
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If you are doing 50/50 custody then school expenses, insurance, etc should and I say should because I don’t know what state and other personal details, would be equally split. Only making 25k you should be eligible for government stipend on housing. There are rental programs other than apartments.
Go to a lawyer - follow his advice…
You and your child want all you can get
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So you are staying with him for the money. You know what that makes you right
Why don’t you get off your ass and do better.
She might be leaving him because she is the one cheating