My almost-two-year-old is starting to throw tantrums more and more. The crying is fine. I understand he’s gonna get emotional when I say no, but he will physically hurt himself…throwing his head back or forward while he’s sitting, which causes him to hit his head on the wall, concrete, wood floors… I don’t know what I can do to prevent this (besides never telling him no lol). Can anyone give me advice or maybe recommend a book? TIA
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You could try to create a safe tantrum space with padded surfaces. And that’s where he can sit in time outs. It’s honestly the age. Just remain consistent and don’t reinforce the bad behavior.
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A hard lesson to learn. My kid threw herself on the hard floor she didn’t do that again. Hold him and try to calm him down. But don’t give in to what you said no to. Kids are smart they no how to manipulate you.
Maybe say ok and lure him away from anywhere harmful he can hurt himself and then say just kidding and tickle him and get his mind on something else it’s worked for me when I would babysit
Attention. Change his mind. Ice cream always works
Find a consentent area where he will be safe a d let him calm down. Or have a quiet area
I dont know if its the best way but it worked for me…on about his second tantrum ever, I dropped to floor like he had done and started kicking and flapping my arms around, like he was, and pretended to cry. He stopped in his tracks, looked at me dumfounded…I stopped and looked at him and we both both burst out laughing. I think he realised how silly he looked by seeing me do the same thing and never chucked another tantrum ever!
Am waiting for the solutions. Same here with my daughter of 1year
Sometimes it’s best to ignore the tantrums eventually he will know hes not getting the best of you it will eventually end
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I’m not good with tantrums and i dont tolerate it so I let my husband handle it. What he does is make her laugh. Then, we talk about her tantrums and why it’s bad. She still has tantrums at times but if my husband is not around to handle it, i just ignore it. Like i don’t talk to her for a long time and it bothers her. Once it bothers her and comes up to me, then I talk to her about it. If she gets disrespectful, I spank her. She has to know that we are her parents. She follows us, not we follow her.
Take him outside for awhile and have storybook time play pattycake and laugh with him often and give him treats and spend lots of quality time with him by smiling and brag on him what a good sweet boy he is be positive without no word then he will listen to you because he feels close to you with the fun times you both share
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Walk away. He may have a bruise or two, but he’ll soon figure out that it’s not going to work
Love from the heart and TIME 
Same…I thought mine was broken. Lol.
Instead of saying no turn it around and say things like, not now but maybe later. Etc super nanny jo frost her programmes are brilliant and you can learn a lot. All children hate the word no it’s the way you say it to them
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It’s normal at that age to do that but there head is harder then you think and good luck
Or you could just let him hit his head hard enough that he realize though I don’t want to do that anymore eventually that will happen because you have to tell them no like they can’t just get away with everything as long as he doesn’t have like Aspergers or Autism this method is fine
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Teach him ways to cope… deep breaths. Acknowledge feelings. Give him permission to be mad. Make sure he/she is in a safe place. Focus more on teaching coping mechanisms to deal with emotions…
Look at what you are saying no to. Is there an alternative to No… that you can meet their needs.
Make sure the child’s needs are being met.
For example a 2 year old bites… he bites you… you say no… he screams and cry…
Vs
a 2 year old bites… you give him a wet cloth or a toy he can bite and chew on to meet his needs.
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Say something along the line of, "It is ok to feel disappointed and angry when you can’t ______ but it isn’t ok to hurt yourself. Let’s try saying I am mad and disappointed. "
If he can’t/wont say, “That’s ok I understand” then walk away.
Instead of a straight up no. Try rephrasing it. Instead of ‘No you can’t have that’ try ‘I have this or this for you. Would you like to pick one to play with?’
It makes them feel like they still have control while redirecting them and minimal outbursts.
It can be hard to adjust to new methods but It really worked with my son at a young age.
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Let him have his fit he will get over it eventually an move on from it. He will learn that being told NO is ok an it isnt going to kill him an having his fit isnt going to get him what he wants an eventually he will stop
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Tell him the next time he does his head banging you will have to put a helmet on him to protect his head. Having to wear the helmet for an extended amount of time without the pleasure of riding, cures it within a day or two.
When my daughter was two she would fall to the floor and hit her head to force cry. I always stood her back up and said if you’re gonna cry you’re gonna do it standing. She got over it 
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My daughter did this. I wouldn’t freak out, teach meditation
Most kids throw these type of tantrums. As long as he’s not bleeding let him he’ll learn soon enough.
Im the mean mom thatll let them do it. They can act a fool in their room and when theyre ready to act right we can talk about why theyre so upset. When they get to that level my kids are impossible to work with. So ok go scream it out then come talk to me.
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Mine almost knocked herself out, she liked to head but and did it to the tile floor, scared me to death!! 
I’ve started telling her it’s okay to be angry, but it’s not okay to hurt my baby.
Then asking, are you angry, would you like a hug.
It has worked more times than not, also it helps with the redirect.
I nanny for a 2 in half year old. She tried throwing a tantrum. I said “No that doesn’t work with Auntie” and walked away. I knew she was safe though. I have also imitated her she stopped right away. Like what are you doing look. Well they both worked for me 
It’s called “terrible twos” for a reason. Try deep breaths.
My God child that i look after does that he throws him self on the floor and hits his head i just leave him and walk away then he just gets up and comes to me then i tell him u mustn’t hurt your self he is 2 now he use to do it bad before
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I know it’s normal for 2 year olds to throw tantrums, but it could also be signs of autism. Please keep this in mind when dealing with your child.
Ignore it my son used to hit his head on the floor when he was throwing a tantrum trying to get a reaction from me and I would just walk away he did it once in a store that had thin carpet over concrete I just stood there and let him do it not saying anything to him til he was done
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Distraction works for us, he used to have a meltdown when we had to leave a park or get in his pram, so i ask him things, like wow can you see a red car, how many wheels does it have?, and things around, like look there’s a little dog. I see alot of parents are happy for their kid to hit their head, im not, if we are around concrete and he goes to throw himself, i leave the shop and go to the car where he is safer, distract him, then return to the shop, he knows if he plays up, we leave the shop, so doesn’t do it anymore, only time he might is if hes overtired, but thats my fault for having him out.
He’ll definitely learn- soon he will move himself to a soft spot and then throw himself back lol You are doing a great job and he is completely normal. Consistency is key so just keep on keeping on.
Distract him with something else eg come and look at this . Or let’s go and pick a book to read .
A belt across his ass will go a long way toward fixing this.
If you give in he learns his fit works to get what he wants. Say no, if fit starts say stop it then Walk away for a minute or two, he will learn, that didn’t work.
My 19 month old has recently starting throwing herself back causing her head to hit the floor hard and then crying even more because she hurt herself. She don’t like being told no, what kid does lol
Mine did This to.
Most toddlers do.
They will hit that head real hard a couple of times and stop doing that.
I gave up Distracting right before 2 years old. I cant ignore that behavior so I put them in their room and tell them to come talk when calm.
I just tell mine to go to his room and cry and come out when he’s done 🤷 works everytime
Well u can do several different things… 1. They cant hurt themselves in a playpen… 2. Throw a fit with him to show him how it looks… 3. Walk away and let him learn… 4. Hold him and tell him u love him and it’s ok to be angry but ur not gonna let him hurt himslef… or no I know I’m gonna get alot of OMG’s but… 5. Bust that ass and give him something to cry about… my momma did it to me and I’m ok… dont beat ur kid but whoopins are ok to me!!!
My 2 yr old has a cookie shopkins pillow… when she gets in a fit we go to her room and I will grab cookie and scream into it all my frustrations with her crying— then she gets a turn to scream out her frustrations. By the 3rd or so time she’s usually laughing at how silly it is… and I then take that opportunity to redirect her attention to a different activity from whatever got her upset
Toddler tantrums are just built up frustration from having big emotions and not knowing how to express them properly. They are not a manipulation tactic, and just because you “give them attention” that doesn’t mean they’re going to get what they want. The head banging is normal. Try to prevent it as much as possible by making sure he’s not too hungry or tired because that will affect the frequency and severity of tantrums. They are inevitable though so when you see he’s about to start just make sure he’s in a safe place like a carpet or pillow within reach, or use your hand to cushion his head. Be the voice of reason that he needs to process it by naming the emotion… “You’re mad because you want to go outside”, give him alternatives, “if you bang your head you’re going to get hurt, let’s try stomping like a big angry dinosaur”, then use redirection. “We can’t go outside right now but hey! Look at these crayons, let’s colour.”
If we did this as kids, our parents would not tolerate. A thwack would be enough to stop, then a stare. Discipline comes in obeying. No need of explanations to 2 year old kids. My generation. We did well, still doing well.
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Ride it out. 2 year olds don’t have the capacity to express emotions and language. They also have zero say in anything going on in their lives. Put your child in a safe place and it will pass. No hitting. No discipline (time outs are stupid). Just sympathize. After the “terrible twos” comes the “threenager” stage. Pace yourself.
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We do timeouts for my grandchildren. When done, we talk about WHY they acted that way so they could identify their emotions. Then we talk about another way to handle it. Hugs and kisses and I’m sorry for being naughty. In public, we go to a more private area, sometimes leaving until situation is calm
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Ignore the tantrum. Do not react. Let them throw themselves down. Don’t look at them, don’t talk or reason or bargain, other than to tell them that the behavior is unacceptable. If you’re in public, you are physically stronger than him. Pick the kid up, take them out. At home, put them in time out, set a timer, if they get up, put them back, even if it takes 50 times to get them to set 2 minutes, keep it up. It works and they will learn to sit through it, it just takes time and sticking to it. That age is hard but it’s so so important to show them you are the boss and to set the boundary on what will and will not be accepted. Be consistent, don’t make empty threats. You got this momma!
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My daughter did this and unfortunately nothing we did help. We would try to catch her, of course but eventually she just stopped doing it. Then her tantrums morphed into hitting us. Then she stopped doing that but then started screaming at the top of her lungs. Kids are always changing and it’s hard to keep up. Just try to calm him by saying it’s okay and let me know you understand he’s upset. That sometimes (only sometimes unfortunately) can help
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It’s attention seeking, ignore it they will soon realize that it doesn’t get mum/dads attention and they will stop! They won’t hurt themselves, it’s purely just for attention.
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I agree with everyone who says ignore it. The less attention given during a temper tantrum the better just walk away, let them ride it out. Very typical of a two or three-year all. As far as bumping their head or something a child is not likely to really hurt themselves. That’s very attention seeking behavior as well. And telling a child no thank you when they were having a tantrum makes no sense at all. No thank you in itself just does not sense to a child. Think about it, if we as adults are upset and crying about something and someone tells us “ no thank you” it would really make us angry or hurt our feelings. Honestly, sometimes just saying to my child do you need a hug will turn a move around in a heartbeat. Trust me I’ve been a preschool teacher for over 40 years
If my son was at home, I would pick him up, take him into his room and sit there with him while he cried it out. I would sit against the door so he couldn’t get out. He might have thrown his toys, clothes, bedding or whatever. But I let him get it out of his system in a safe place. When he was calm, we talked about what was bothering him and why his response wasn’t appropriate. And then I made him clean up anything he threw around. Luckily, public tantrums were few and far between.
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Call me old fashion but my son had one tantrum where he fell to the floor and screamed and kicked I took him by the hand led him out side one swat to the diaper and calmly told him that he would not do that again and he didnt. He’s now grown and is a very respectful young man.
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Personally, I wouldn’t ignore it. Children have zero coping mechanisms when it comes to emotions, then just to add insult to injury, they feel emotions in a much more intense way than we do as adults. I would get down eye level with him, hold his hands so he can’t use them to hurt himself, and very firmly say “No thank you”. Temper tantrums are rough, and it’s easy to say “ignore it”, but in that moment, they really need you. Trying to talk it out with them is definitely more difficult, but will instill in him that you will always be there to help him figure his feelings out. As he starts to get a little older, start teaching him healthy ways to deal with his anger. For example, clear off a wall and have him throw stuffed animals at it as hard as he can. That’s just something off the top of my head but there may be options that work better for you. Good luck mama.
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All I could do was try to keep them in a place where the damage would be minimal and let them tantrum themselves out. I refused to pay attention to that behavior, and for the most part, it worked.
If your afraid of him hurting himself put h somewhere safe away from anything he can really hurt himself on. He’s still little and can’t express himself well. Just don’t give into what the child wants.
My son did this around the same age. I handled it by talking calmly to him while he was visibly upset but once the self harm and screaming started I would just tell him that when he was finished throwing the tantrum that we could continue talking. Console the hurt but don’t feed it in the moment. Feeding i the moment could cause it to continue more frequently as they see it as a way to get what they want.
This discipline needs to go back to the old days a good smack on the ass never hurt anyone or killed anyone we are all still alive from our childhood
When my oldest was one he would repeatedly hit his forehead on the ground when he threw a fit but he grew out of it and is a perfectly normal 4 year old now. It was weird but we ignored it and he never really hurt himself. My middle child is two and he still occasionally throws himself around and ends up hurting himself (not ER hurt but just crying hurt). It’s weird and we ignore it and he doesn’t do it nearly as often. Kids are strange and they do things to get attention sometimes especially during tantrums. Giving the attention will make him do it more, just ignore it. He will most likely not seriously injure himself and I doubt he will be 20 throwing temper tantrums on the floor lol
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Gotta ignore em, walk off a bit. Once they get their frustration out and realize they aren’t getting the reaction or demand they want they’ll find another way to handle their feelings.
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Nothing we did worked well, tried it all…I’m just here to say keep pushing through because it does get better! I didn’t have those issues with my daughter so when my son started it I didn’t know what we were going to do however he will be 3 next month and he doesn’t do it anymore! 
. He just stopped, nothing magical we did. You guys are not alone!
My middle son did something similar and we found out he was having ear infections. Maybe that’s something to get checked.
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Kids will do whatever they can to get there way. Let them make a fuss. Let them know your recording them for your safety. We’ve had things thrown out the room and hitting oneself.
Ignore ignore ignore. They’re doing it for attention. If they’re a danger to themselves or others move them somewhere safe where they can work it out.
I was told by special education/ therapist… with tantrums, try wrapping blanket around snuggly and cuddle or even roll him around the ground like a burrito. Make him feel grounded to something and it possibly can calm him down.
I’ve recently been trying it to wrap him like if he was infant, tuck his arms inside the wrap and he would calm down. He actually would stay that way when I would have him sit on then couch alone after his outburst.
Best of luck bc I know it’s heartbreaking watching them bash their heads out of frustration.
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If you ignore he will stop. It worked with mine and my grandchildren. If he’s old enough you can put him in the “fit” chair and he can get up anytime he wants but he has to stop the fit. They might be sitting there for a long time the first time. But less and less each subsequent time if there is a next time. That kind of gives them a little control over the situation and their behavior.
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Grab him sit on the floor with him cross his arms and legs with you and rock with him sing with him or just chill until they are calm self harm isn’t good for them and I know you got this momma. Talk more in a serious way be firm but lots of love and lots of patience. Do a song about them with his name kids love that sorta stuff <3
Do not give in to his pleas or crying simply tell that when he stops his crying and throwing a fit that you discuss the situation and then walk away let him cry it out until he understands that his little fit is not getting your attention he will stop
Depends on the reason for the tantrum tbh… If he’s having sensory overload, they might not be tantrums so much as they are meltdowns especially if there’s self injurious behavior involved… Talk to your pediatrician and see what they recommend
My son would kick scream bite n scratch. Dr. Told me to put him on his tummy and sit on his bottom till tantrum was over then he wouldn’t hurt himself or me.
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Maybe could get a bean bag chair for when he does that and have him sit in it so that way if he does toss his self about it wont be hard on him
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Following, my toddler does the same thing! Its so frustrating especially if we’re in public.
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My son beat his head on the floor which was concrete till the blood came to the skin then quit Dr. said ignore him he won’t do it until he hurt’s himself I did and he alway’s stopped before he did just want attention and there way
My niece used to do this. Honestly just gotta wait until they crack themselves too hard. That’s the only thing that got my niece to stop
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It’s a phase it passes all three my boys did it for attention and when they didn’t get what they wanted I ignored them they got over it
My son is four and still does that on occasion. We use Daniel Tiger songs or I send him to his room where he “resets” himself and comes back out when he’s ready. I also have my youngest who is two and went a whole other direction. When she throws a tantrum she holds her breathe until she almost passes out. Still trying to figure out how to handle that with Daniel Tiger songs.
I’m not trying to be funny but if your worried about him hurting himself when your at home put a helmet in his head and stick him in timeout
My nephew did this it could be more than just a tantrum with Norman ( my nephew ) he was having gran mal seizures that usually started as a tantrum Get him. checked out by a Doctor & make sure there’s no underlying causes
Walk away, go in a different room and let him throw his fit, eventually he will learn it hurts when he snacks his head off of things and stop
I usually let him go. Get it out. But if they going on for hrs. Thats a different story.
My daughter go in her play pin and she can sit in there until she chooses to calm down we don’t react to her for and when we take her out we tell her why she went there in the first place
Get him a helmet and let him throw his tantrum. Eventually he will stop when he sees it’s pointless
A dr told me my daughter will stop when she hit her head hard enough that its hurts
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We have a cozy corner where we store all our blankets and told my kids to go to cozy corner until they calm down…literally just a pile of blankets
I put my daughter, who will be 3 in November, in her crib. I shut the door and let her have her fit. When she is done, we talk about it and then move on to happier things.
Ignore and walk away…don’t make any eye contact, don’t say anything or give facial expressions.
Try what my 3 year old grand daughter told her 5 year old brother…" you better behave or mom is gonna tear your ass out the frame "…
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Mom used to throw cold water right in the face,. Worked every time.
I had a foster child that would whack his head on the floor when he threw a tantrum. Doctor told me to completely ignore him. It took him a day or two, and that was the end of it.
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Exactly ignore him as long as he doesn’t hurt himself or others he esmts attention
Try not to say no directly., but i am not saying to fulfill him, just try to distract him by another thing…
If hes hurting himself restrain him till he cadlms down
Oh man im going thru d same . Its sumtyms unbearable . D kicking n pushing .
Walk away. No audience no tantrum.
my grandmother would start singing loudly during my tantrums… it worked
Make them wear helmet
He literally cannot process all of his emotions. I agree with getting him to a safe place and BEING his safe place. The only way he can learn to regulate is by experiencing them and learning how to control them.
With my almost three year old, he will not sit in time out or time in or whatever. My husband or I will hold him and just repeat the phrase “hug?” until he calms down and hugs us. The first few days it took him 5-10 minutes of screaming to break down and hug us. Now it’s MAYBE 30 seconds. Once he is calm we redirect his attention to something he CAN do and enjoy. This is something we can do anywhere (think about the grocery store) with as little drama as possible.
That being said, when he is just being stubborn and keeps repeating the unwanted behavior we will spank him, but we try to avoid it when possible.
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Ignore it he hurt himself its a natural consequence of acting like an idiot
Beat em 
(relax, I’m kidding)
Spank his spoiled ass!
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My adopted daughter came to me as a foster child. She would do this too. It would scare the shit out of her dad and me. We got really good at very quickly sticking one of our feet between her head and the floor. If we had ignored it she would have seriously hurt herself. She was not doing it for attention. It was part of a PTS diagnosis. I would not assume she is doing it for attention. Look into it further. I like the helmet and crib ideas but don’t know that they can be done fast enough once it starts.