What are the signs of depression?

Fan Question

How can you tell the difference between depression and just being a tired overwhelmed mom? I feel like people are too quick to put the depression label on everything these days, but I’ve been feeling like it may be something more in my case than being an overtired, overwhelmed stay at home mom. Advice is appreciated but please don’t be rude. I have a 7 year old, a 6 year old, and a 5 month old baby and I stay at home with them every day (it’s summer for the older ones). Every day I wake up in a bad mood or angry. It’s like from the minute I open my eyes in the morning I am needed and I have no time for myself, to think, for self care beyond washing my face, to breathe, to make myself anything decent to eat. I am no fun to my kids, I just want them to go away in their rooms and leave me alone as much as possible while I still care for the baby because they are super intense kids. They don’t listen, I have to repeat the same things over and over, they constantly break rules and it makes it so hard to enjoy being around them. I don’t enjoy being around them, my patience is completely worn thin and I feel on the brink of mental exhaustion every day. My husband works every day from in the mornings until around 10pm so I do it all alone. Getting out of the house is never worth it to me because it’s SO hard to handle all of them by myself. In stores they constantly grab at things and knock things over or run off, every time I tell them to stop I turn around and they’re right back at it. I feel like a terrible mom sometimes because my patience is just gone. I want to sleep all the time or lay down. Lately I’m thinking I may be depressed instead of just simply exhausted, but I am exhausted and just overwhelmed most days. How can you tell the difference between depression? I want to be patient with my kids and do things with them and not be so short fused. I want to enjoy them. The baby doesn’t give me much trouble and I enjoy my time with the baby, but I feel so guilty about basically dreading each day with the older two. Help please, no bashing. I already feel crappy as it is.


At least you are aware I feel like that too I have one son I found myself waking up like blah but I just get up do my job as a mother and give them their extra kisses and snuggles because it’s not their fault look forward to something Lake taking a shower I’m putting on some perfume it will make you feel better LOL

I would see a therapist just to chat.
Some offer “test” that can point out if you’re depressed or overwhelmed.
I actually loved taking this because I thought I just had severe anxiety but I was actually still grieving from my loss of our daughter in 2015 due to complications. We were able to talk and pinpoint real issues.
Sometimes just talking to someone that’s removed from the situation is a huge help

How about putting everyone in tv room and put a movie on that they like. Put breakfast on blanket for them and u lay on couch with baby or put baby in playpen and kick back and relax. Tell kids if there not quite they will stand in corner all day.

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Sounds like the older kids have been undisciplined. But I have 4 kids 4 and younger, currently pregnant with baby #5 and I have trouble giving each kid individual attention. Maybe the older 2 act out for attention? Sit and play games and talk to them and you will all feel better

I feel the exact same way. I have a 6 year old, 4 year old (diabetic, so extra care and stress), and 4 month old baby. I feel the EXACT way you do. I thought it was just being overwhelmed and stressed constantly, but now I’m thinking it might actually be depression…
You’re in my thoughts and prayers!!

For me, the difference between actual depression and just being overwhelmed was 1) NOTHING helped. Like even getting out by myself for a bit etc wouldn’t help me feel any better and 2) I couldn’t pull myself out of it no matter how hard I tried or what I did.

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You are probably right on both counts. Also some good help on consistency in handling them and some mothers day ours even if you have to put with the sitter to do. If you have the money get some help and honey hang in there. You are too isolated. See if there is a church group for mothers or something for support. I used to think mothers were mean when they were glad school started. As my kids got older I understood. School will be starting soon. Being a mom is hard work but you can make it. We were not made to do alone. Perhaps when school starts you can catch a breath and figure it out. There is help out there. antidepressants

Sounds like a little bit of both. I would suggest that you start a schedule for the kids each day. If you have a routine and stick to it, the kids will enjoy it, you’ll get the structure you want and you can reward the kids by going to the park if they meet expectations. Google scheduled tasks etc. Don’t be too hard on yourself, being a parent it tought but you need to invest to make it better too!! Good luck!

Depression shows itself in many ways and everything you just said says depression/anxiety (and needing more help from dad) kids need structure and discipline. Telling them to go to their room when they are bad is a form of discipline but when they constantly have to go to their room it will tell them they can dowhatever as long as they are in their room. Talk to a doctor about how you feel, sit down with hubby and say you need help, and make a discipline chart for the older kids.

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Antidepresents can help your mind calm down to figure things out. I liked that someone else mentioned counselling. When we feel the worst is when we feel like we do not have options and there always are we just do not always see them.

We do “goody charts” we list chores and expectations no matter how obvious… you get 3 strikes on each item if after the 3rd time you don’t listen we black out that square and no sticker given … we also have daily, weekly, monthly prize depending on behavior… kids will be kids the charts helped out with them learning rules. We went to a dollar store made a prize box … also my fiancee loves gold dollar coins bc the kids see it as treasure… just gotta tailor it to their likes and the charts change according to what they need to work on… even worked for the lil guy even though he cant read… every night we read each thing on the list ask the kids individually how they feel they did and if they deserved a sticker … had them explain to us why or why not… it’s a lil bit of work but they learn more about rules, safety, fairness … can be rough at first but also can calm down the crazy help set routine for all of you and relieve stress … we also try to set aside a family game day/outside time when their father is off work bc he works crazy hours… sometimes naughty kids are just wanting attention and any kind will work … but routine is key … set times for attention set bedtime to give you some time off and try to relax as much as you can with a baby… being overwhelmed can lead to being depressed or anxiety and seeking counseling could help you … I did and that’s where I learned to do what I do now

For how long? Does it affect you daily activities?
There are a list of questions a nurse could ask you over the phone to determine if you should talk to the doctor

Been there. I would see a psychiatrist or therapist to see if you need antidepressants. When I wake up I turn the tv on or give them something to occupy them so I can make breakfast and have time for me to do my self care.

I can understand why your feeling so down . Beinng isolated all day every day with just your children for company is not good and you probably are depressed. Go see your dr and see what he says . Try and find other young mums maube join a playgroup or similar . Its hard with young kids and harder to do it on your own . No wonder your feeling low.

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It definitely sounds like depression. Also you have a 5 month old so maybe you could have some PPD going on? I would definitely go talk to your Dr. There’s no shame in being depressed. Raising kid’s is hard especially when you’re pretty much doing it on your own.

I guess every moms have felt this once in their lives lol. My advice is try to talk to your friends like a heart to heart mom to mom talk. Sometimes sharing your problems with the other moms and knowing that you are not alone can make you feel better.

Go to your doctor I was exactly the same it took 2 years for me to realise I had post natal depression. It’s really simple to fix through diet ,when your eating and what your eating. Also a few antidepressants you’ll be feeling a little less down and your head will get some space xx