Equal everything. If you cant work, it should still be shared fair.
Your a team it should be 50/50
What works best for your family is what you should do. Don’t worry about supposed to’s.
Whatever works best for you. Its absolutely no ones place to tell you what you are required to do for yourself or your child
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My partner and I both work. But he takes care of the larger bills and I pretty much just work to pay for my bills and the things I want or my kids need. We both share house hold responsibility… If one of us cooks the other helps to clean it up… If the baby needs a diaper change we rotate as best as we can… You just need to do what works best for your household.
It really depends on the two of you. You need to find something that works for the two of you.
In my household, right now, I’m not working and my husband is. So, while he works, I handle the majority of the household stuff. He still helps, but I try to have it done so that he doesn’t have to when he gets home.
A few months back, when we were both working full time, we shared the household responsibilities.
When I was working and he wasn’t, he did most of the household stuff.
I’m a stay at home mom.
I have two kids.
A 7 year old with autism, severe adhd, and a paralyzed arm. He’s mine biologically but not my husbands (my husband is dad in every way that matters)
A 3 year old with sensory processing disorder, unofficial adhd, and speech delay.
My husband works 12 hour shifts 3-4 days a week.
My “role” …
-Juggling all the boys’ appointments. Planning them and taking them to most of them (it’s a little different now with covid)
-doing OT at home
-managing the “plan” for discipline
-Meal planning
-bulk of housework
-75% cooking
-planning the budget
My husband’s role
-working (obviously lol)
-making me coffee in the morning
-helping get kids ready in the morning
-getting the oldest on the bus
-on his days off…-
*helps take care of the kids
*some chores (mostly putting dishes in dishwasher, taking trash out, switching laundry over, his messes in our room)
*some cooking
*going and paying some Bill’s
*helping with discipline
To a lot of people this may sound super uneven, but I dont see it that way (most of the time).
I’m not going to insist he split housework or childcare or planning appointments 50/50, when I’m home significantly more than he is.
I’m better at meal and budget planning, so I’m not going to insist that he do that either. It’ll just frustrate me.
If you "expect " things you’re going to end up being disappointed. Just do what you do and see what he does in return. If not much… oh well. You chose your partner so if you have to ask then you don’t kno him very well 
.
Every relationship is different.
You need to figure out what works for yours.
Shared that’s what they should be 50/50
If you guys can’t figure out daily life how the hell are you going to raise a child.
Sit down and write down your expectations of him in each category and he can do the same. Then have an honest conversation about his expectations of you. Go down the list and let him know what you can agree on and try to compromise on the things you both disagree on. If he flat out says no to something, don’t make it into an argument. We have to validate our partners feelings, even if we believe they are wrong. A strong opposition to an expectation should be heard and respected. You cannot force, guilt, nor threaten someone (withholding attention/affection) into doing it. If it’s a deal breaker, then it is something you all should have considered prior to having a baby, and I mean that with the utmost respect. Also, not every specific thing has to be 50/50 to be balanced. You may do more in the home and he might do more in the financial area and vice versa meaning there’s give and take and as you grow together, you will see each other’s strengths and weaknesses. You may be in charge of paying all the bills and book keeping if you’re better at it than he is. Remember, it’s tackling the problem against you two, not you two tackling against each other. I hope this helps and you can work it out. Remember, people do evolve over time so it’s good to revise each other’s expectations every couple of years. You will evolve into a different woman once you become a mother of one, then evolve again as a mother of two, and yet again with any life changes that come your way, and the same for your husband. You might at one point not be happy in your marriage but the key thing to remember is try to change your role in the marriage, not the marriage. Good luck.
Our roles are changing and adapting all the time. When our son was a newborn and I basically spent the first three months on the couch breastfeeding, my husband did mostly everything around the house. As my baby grew and I was able to put him in a carrier I did more little things (vacuuming, laundry, dusting, etc). Right now with our 2.5 year old we worked it out where my husband is in charge of the kitchen (all the cooking and cleaning), and I clean all the other rooms of the house. I work part time so that I’m home more to watch our son, and so my finances only take care of groceries and buying little things needed for the house, while he pays for all the house bills.
Everyone’s idea of what is ok is going to be different, so what works for us won’t work for others. Regardless though, the workload and financial expenses should always leave you both feeling like it’s fair based on your means. You both deserve to have some free time for yourself, so if one of you is doing too much work, while the other is getting more free time, then the jobs should be allocated differently.
These things need to be discussed as soon as you guys move in together. Sit down and talk all that out. What works for others may not work for you.
My husband and I just fell into routines that worked for everyone. We don’t argue, we talk.
Really everything is a shared “role”. You both have to be willing and able to switch off to “cover” for the other when necessary.
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In my house- I stay home and take care of everything and my husband works & pays the bills. He does the yard work, fixes things, will occasionally do something if he notices it or will help me out if I need him to but for the most part I do all the housework, run errands, cook. We have a 7 & 3 year old girls and an 11 week old boy so as far as the parenting goes we both pull our weight. I just do more house stuff and he does all the finances.
I make lists of what needs done and split it fairly based on how difficult the task is, how long it will take, and whose more capable of it or enjoys it more. My boyfriend can not stand to do dishes, when I don’t mind doing them. So I tend to do that all the time. I hate cleaning the shower so he usually does that. Generally speaking, I do more of the every day chores. But he does the things that I don’t want to, even if they don’t need done as frequently.
We both do it all, we take turns on dishes, laundry we both cook and we clean the kids room together. I am going to be a full time working mom and he’s staying at home to take care of the kids, and when I get home I’ll help as well. He also has a little side hobby he makes money from. It’s a partnership and we’ve discussed this and it’s what works best for us. Just sit down and talk about it and see what works best for you guys.
I think whatever works best for your relationship.
Im a SAHM i take care of everything everyday all day but when hubby is off work he handles everything i havent and helps me with the day to day stuff.
You might not like my comments but until you have that wedding ring on your finger you are only PLAYING house. If you are already arguing about chores etc think twice because that is not going to change. FINANCIALLY always have your own bank account not joint. I wish you both well.
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You are both part of the household, so you should share. My BF and I do this- if I cook he does the dishes and vice versa. Since you are pregnant you don’t want to just sit around - but he should do the “heavy lifting” If you do laundry - he carries the baskets and he can even help fold. What I’m saying is - if you “do it together” you will be happy together.
You are a team. You should each pull what you can and when one falls down, the others picks up the slack and helps find a new way.
My love and I have been together for close to 10 years. Never claimed any roles. What I don’t get to, he finishes, and vice versa. We work together as a team. We dont argue about who does what, but we do argue when we feel one of us is doing too much lol
What is ok is to see the job and get it done.
There are no standard roles, you do what’s best for your little family and household.
That’s a question for yourself and your partner-not for strangers.
If you’re struggling to adapt to changes, perhaps it’s best to speak to an outside person who is unbiased or without influence to you.
Maybe you seek to speak with a therapist.
You share roles! But, I fully believe that if one works and the other does not, then the one staying home needs to be sure home things are taken care of!
The one working shouldn’t have to work 8+ hrs a day AND come home to cook and clean.