My man doesn’t have a job, I want him to get one, but he’s my soul mate. He supported me when no one else did. If you love him leave it go. As long as he won’t let you sink, you’ll be okau
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Your house your rules , if this works for you and you guys are comfortable than it’s no one’s business.
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If women can be stay at home moms, what’s wrong with a stay at home dad? Double standards are the worst.
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Why is it ok for a woman to be a stay at home mom but a man can’t be? My husband takes care of our son while I work during the day and he works when he wants (he runs his own business) and I see no problem I know our son is well taken care of and doesn’t have to be cared for by strangers
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Well if he’s a stay at home
Dad and pulling his weight and saving in child care it’s not their business
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I just have to say this one statement. If a women didn’t work at all, let alone part time, and the man provided for his family, no one, and I mean NO ONE, would question it. It’s super l normal “ for the dad to work and mom run the home. I think it’s 100% acceptable and OKAY, for it to be the other way around. It is a blessing when either parent can afford to stay home with the kids. If you guys are doing okay financially then continue doing what you’re doing while they’re young then talk about plans in the future
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If you feel like he needs a job then he does if your happy with him being a stay at home dad then fuck what anyone else says it’s not their business, if the roles were reversed and you were staying home and he was the main breadwinner would they be saying anything at all …
I don’t get it… if it works for you that’s great. No one blinks when we stay at home. He’s saving you on childcare and covers his own bills plus helps with the baby. It’s hard to have two full time working parents now a days. The only opinion on your life that matters is yours.
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This bugs me. Because why are you letting other people who don’t financially support you put weight on your own opinion and judgment? Whatever works best for each family is what they should do. If that situation works for you, continue!
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If you’re happy with how things are at the moment then I wouldn’t worry about what other people think. If you’re not happy with it, have a chat with him about it?
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It’s nobodies business but yours. If you are happy, it’s not anyone else’s decision. Do THEY pay the bills? No, you and your BD do. So, the opinions of others is not what you base your life on. Your baby is loved by him. That’s a lot more than my ex did for my kids. Do life your way.
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I think it’s fine if it’s what you want & y’all can live comfortably on only your paycheck. The problem is if something happened to you does he have the maturity & skill to get a job? Does he have health care, can & will he step up if you need/want him to get a job?
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Our day and age is different then there’s. Mind ya business. Money does not always = contribute. Daycare alone with a 9m old would be a huge bill and probably break even on his pay check depending on pay. It’s a blessing to be able to find a man that will do all that. My BF and I were/ are in same spot and have been for 4 years. Takes care of his, mine and ours. I make more and were both okay with that. It’s what works. Wish people got over a man staying home ridiculous to me. They are just as capable as moms.
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It’s so interesting that men are just expected to work and provide…breaking the stigma
#stayathomedads
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My husband is the same but only we live together . We have bk to bk babies , a 13 yr old , 6 yr old and another on the way lolz and he’s amazzzziiiinnggg with them and I was able to complete school cause of his help. I told him
Not to work full time cause hey money will always be there but being together while they are little is priceless
( to me) he gets to be there and see them grow up with me instead of being gone to work all the time. We’re not rich but we make it work with what we get . I was always told if your happy than money doesn’t matter . Opinions of others shouldn’t matter either if u are happy .
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If it was the other way round would your parents bat an eyelid? If you both worked full time your child would be spending a great deal on there early childhood in childcare right?
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Stay at home Dads deserve the same praise as stay at home Moms!!! Normalise equality.
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It’s your life honey? Are you happy?
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If he’s actually contributing to the household by child caring, cleaning, cooking, and covering his own bills then what’s the problem? If the situation was reversed would those negative people still have a problem? How much money do you save not having to pay for daycare? How much less stress do you have not having to come home and do it all yourself? If those answers are positives then tell everyone else to mind their own! I told my husband straight up that if I made enough money for him to be a stay at home dad I’d 100% be on board with that!
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If he’s with the baby and doing house duties all week while your at work, then that is his full time job.
If he works on the weekends and brings in a small income. And helps buy baby things, great!!
It’s not frowned upon for women to stay home and not work, so why should it be for men???
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I say it’s no one else’s business. I know of several couples who have a Mr. Mom and it has and is working great. This man does work and contribute as well as help in so many other ways.
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So a stay at home parent is a full time job only when it’s a woman doing it? Sounds legit.
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If you are okay with it that is all that matters. At least he is helping with kid and house chores, some baby daddies don’t do any of that nor work.
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He should contribute too !! Money wise !
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It sounds like he’s doing his fair share, but, tbh, only the two of you can define what that is in your relationship.
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This is a completely sexist train of thought and unfortunately we’ve had to deal with things being said as well. My husband is a SAHD and there is nothing wrong with it.
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He IS contributing financially just by how much y’all are saving on daycare alone. Screw what everyone else is talking about, being a stay at home parent is a HUGE contribution to your family and whoever does it, man or woman, deserves recognition bc it’s a full time job in itself!
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Sounds like you work during the week and he stays home with the baby and he works on the weekends and you stay home with the baby. I don’t see a problem. If you are happy and needs are met that is what matters. Every family has what works for them.
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A father can be a stay at home dad’s just as good as a stay at home mom can
If he is doing the the house cooking and taking care of the kids
All day
That constitutes as a full time job
You should be lucky you have a guy like that
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Would it bother them if it was the other way around? He pays his bills and helps with your child… what’s the difference in a stay at home mom or stay at home dad?
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Do what’s right for you and him.
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Childcare is expensive. This is teamwork! If you feel he is a great dad, no better person to stay home if it can’t be you. He certainly needs to help with housework, shopping, cooking, laundry, etc. If he’s taking up the slack and the family dynamic is working I’d let it go. IMO- who is home with your children is priority one.
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If roles were reversed how would you feel about his family making comments about you only caring for the house and kids then working on weekends? He is a stay at home parent. It is his job, and he is financially contributing.
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Day care is so expensive it really would be pointless unless he’s making more than minimum wage.I loved not putting my kids in day care.I always look at it as whatever works for my family who cares what anyone else thinks they not paying my bills or watching my kids for free.You have to do what works for your family We are not in the 1900s it’s 2022 where some men are stay at home moms.Theres nothing wrong with it asking as bills are paid and kids are tooken care of…If you all are happy with how things are then stop listening to all that other stuff.Goodmen are hard to find and ain’t know one perfect so if it works do what is best for you guys.Now if bills are stacking up and it’s just not worth him staying home then I get it for him to work but if everything is working out then keep it that way.
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How do they look at SAHM?! The same or different? To me if he has no other kids outside your home then it’s totally fine. However if he does have kids outside of the home then either you have to be 100% okay picking up that child support or he should work to cover it. My ex hasn’t worked in years even before he and his wife had their kid but over the last year or more he’s constantly late on his child support. To me either the wife should pick it up cause it’s a bill just like anything else or he should be working and having it garnished.
In your situation since he has no other kids what you and he decide is between you and Noone else should have a say! It’s what you decide to do to make your family work. I have no issues with SAHParents
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If the views were turned and it was a stay at home mom with a full time working dad it would be a different story. I see it as if he’s making enough on the weekends to pay his own bills and also taking care of the baby while you work. That should be perfectly fine
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Double standard.
He’s helping in just as many ways as you are. It’s a team effort and it sounds to me like he’s doing his fair share.
If you are happy with the arrangement then that is all that matters.
Women stay home with kids all the time and it’s considered a full time job and then some, it’s a hard job at that!
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No different than a stay at home mom. What works for you guys is what is right.
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A stay at home parent is a full time job regardless of gender. I’ve done it and my Husband is doing it now. If you can survive financially with yourself working then don’t worry about what other people are saying. They are not in your shoes.
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He is working. Doing daddy daycare and all the household jobs
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Well at least he is helping you on the chores and stuff that’s all that matters if that’s what you want
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I was sole earner while my husband dome the stay at home dad thing, I really believe it’s just the stereotype around parents that xhannges people’s opinions. If it works for your family, why does it bother anyone else?
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What’s the difference as if the roles were reversed? People would be saying he’s doing his job providing for the house and your money is yours. I see no difference except that people want equality and still hold to gender stereotypes.
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Isn’t that the same as asking the worth of a stay at home mom? It’s no different. He may not be giving actual money but he’s saving you both money on childcare.
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Why do they even know his business?
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Let put it this way. Hire a baby sitter n a maid and see much he is saving you. Dont worry what anybody outside of yall say or think.
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I’m a mother first and then a full time machine operator! My husband is not the father nor paternal grandfather though he helps me with them all. He is not full time n with his money he buys our hygienes house cleaning supplies and any other little things at home. What I’m saying girly is if ur happy n he’s happy n ur babies r in good hands don’t allow anyone to screw up ur happiness!! I’ve learned that noone will do for u but will talk n whisper about what goes on in ur household. Always remember that it’s u n him not u n ur family!! I say keep ur life the way it makes u happy. Don’t worry about who says what!!!
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Does this work for you? If so, tell them to butt out. Not to be rude to them of course , but you all are a family now and adults that can make their own choices on what works for you guys. I think it’s wonderful he helps out so much. Like mentioned aboveX daycare is expensive. It is ridiculous lol. This is what make relationships work. Teamwork ! It’s all about teamwork. And even though he isn’t “working” by bringing in the money, doesn’t mean he is working. Parenting is harddddd work as you know.
So, as long as he isn’t mooching off of you, which he obviously isn’t, I don’t see anything wrong with it at all !
Guess a person can’t have everything.
Sounds like you have a keeper there. Don’t let other peoples small minds ruin your relationship.
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Many woman are housewives or home makers, they cook, clean and take care of the kids. That is ok, so why not for him?
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Same as a SAH mom to me
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I think it’s great! He’s no different than a SAHM, and he’s even working weekends and paying for what he needs, personally, and helping pay for things your child needs, with all of his limited amount of money. If he’s cleaning and cooking and caring for the baby, he IS contributing financially. Daycare or nannying costs are so expensive and he’s holding down the fort, at home, so that it is easier for you to work. Being a SAHD is hard work and he’s still also doing his other job during the weekends, when you’re home, and pretty much never has a “day off”, any more than you do - it’s just different work, on different days. Sounds like he’s doing great (way more than a lot of dads/m=n do) and you shouldn’t take your family’s comments to heart, at all, because they’re totally wrong and it’s a very old school, sexist POV. Who cares what anyone else thinks? What works for your family, is what’s best for your family and teamwork is how a relationship should be. You’re partners and you each pick up the slack where the other isn’t able.
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When our girls were little I worked full time shift worker, and my husband stayed home, with no part time work at all. It was a win win. Saved on day care and babysitting. He got to bond with them. He was a stay at home dad for nearly 18 months.
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Seems fair to me. You shouldn’t rely on what other people tell you. He’s doing his part and he’s not burdening you with his bills. Unless you feel stressed out financially then maybe have a word with him. If you see this he’s doing a great job…then let the man be. He seems to be trying his best.
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If it works for you both then keep it as is. Add up the price daycare and see what you would spend Vs if he Was working. Maybe once the kids are in school he can work more but until then it’s no different to you being a stay at home mum with weekend work
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So he’s a stay at home dad with a part time job to pay bills. What’s the issue? It’s your relationship not theirs so if it works for you both why mess with it.
It’s actually refreshing to see a post not saying he’s lazy and does nothing like 99% of the others.
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I see it as fine. I am/have been a SAHM for 20 years in July. Yeah ILs gave a bit of a voice to it but everyone else agreed it was a good thing to do. Instead of child care, sitters ect I was their constant while in the field, deployed or TDY. I did finances, cleaning, food ect. If he is a good SAHD what is the problem!? Double standard much…
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He is paying his own bills and helping you with baby and baby costs. At least you aren’t paying his bills! If you are happy leave it alone. Don’t let anyone dictate how you should live! It’s your life babygirl!
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Sounds like he’s a great dad who is doing his part to help maintain the home
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Sounds like he’s doing his part in contributing even if it’s not the antiquated men are the main bread winner ideal. They need to understand the support and peace of mind he provides for you and the care and nurturing he is providing for your child in place of that financial support. Money doesn’t buy happiness and you guys sound like you’re not struggling do to this, so why do they care so much?
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What ever works for you two & if your both happy & kids happy 
….then that is the main thing 
xxx
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I think it’s fine as long as he’s contributing to the household by cleaning, maintenance and helping with the kids, and if he treats you good and you guys are happy, don’t let anyone get in the way of that
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Sounds like he’s doing what most stay at home parents do. Would your family say the same stuff if you stayed home instead
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I’m on the other end. Helps financially but that’s IT. Literally that is all. Some days I’d rather be in your shoes some days I love being in mine.
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Question, how much would daycare cost you if you both worked full time?
Could you afford it with extra money left over?
Are you asking family or friends for money to get by?
If you answered No to all of these questions and the paycheck he could get only covers daycare costs then what is the point of him working more.
Him being home taking care of the house and kids is still work and everything he is doing at home would cost you money for someone else to do and time for you to do.
Just some Food for thought
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No different then a female. He is a stay at home dad. That’s his job. So he works 7 days a week because He does work weekend’s , and takes care of his bills.
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Why would you even share such with your family ? You already said it all…He’s a good dad, helps with the house chaos, takes care of the kids and works only on Weekends so what more do you need from him? You should be thankful and grateful to God for giving you such a good man.
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You have a full time job and he stays home with the baby and works on the weekends. What could be better?! You don’t have to take the baby to childcare.
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Stay at home dads should be appreciated as much as SAHM.
(And it seems he is both, if he is working and taking care of the babies)
I think I would rather have my partner help me raise my babies than a daycare. 
And if he is paying HIS bills, and still helping with your guys baby. I don’t see the problem. 
You could be doing it all 100% of the time with no friend/team mate beside you.
Eff your extended family,
Your immediate family is priority. 
If you’re happy with him and he is happy with you.
Then keeping doing what works for you.
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same as a sahm…would u look down at them? nope. so dont look down at a sahd 
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He’s doing a job. Ask your family if they’d look down on a woman doing the same thing.
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Honestly, if the roles were reversed they would all be perfectly fine w it.
I see it as a perfectly normal family except the man is the stay at home parent and the woman works. No different than a lot of marriages now a days, juss different gender roles 
He cooks,cleans, takes care of the kids,works on the weekends and pays his own bills He’s a stay at home dad so why is it looked down on. If the roles were revered they wouldn’t be saying anything, as long as he’s contributing to the house and helping I say it’s awesome!
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He is filling the traditional Mom role. He is pulling his weight. There is no more important job in the world than raising your child. You are lucky not to have to turn your child over to strangers.
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I dont see it any differently if the roles were reversed and noone would ? It. As most know staying home with a child is a full time plus job. Its 2022 nothing wrong with a stay at home dad that also works on the weekends
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Childcare is a job! He is working, at home, as a childcare provider while you work away from home. If you both worked full-time, the difference in income would have to go to daycare. Anyone judging him is a jerk. Especially if they are okay with mothers not working full time while a man pays the bills.
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Sounds to me like roles are reversed and he’s doing a great job. Sounds like it’s also his first kid so adjustment period is there as well. Take baby steps getting him back to work full time. Also, will the baby be in day care? Will he make more than the cost of day care? If not, that’s another factor to discuss. Good luck and as long as he is a good partner and fantastic dad, take it day by day. You got this!
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Stop letting others get to you…if it works for you! Shut them down and stop telling so much
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sounds like he does what all stay at home parents do. is it odd to you because he’s a man & not a woman? could you imagine how much daycare would cost you if the both of you worked full time? if he’s a good dad & he does right, then is it truly an issue?
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if it works for you, and it works for him, and he pays his own bills, and he cooks, and cleans, and cares for the kids, and does the man things around the house - and once in a while spends his own money on you, I see it no different than if you stayed home, took a weekend job, and did all that. why do people feel like they gotta be up in everybody’s business all the time? Next time someone says something ask them when they’re moving in to replace him.
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sounds like he has a full-time job in my opinion, if shoes were on the other foot your job would be taking care of home and kids as well
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Gender refersal.
What’s wrong with a stay at home dad if he’s supporting, great with the kids and allows ur career to prosper ??
If he’s actually doing all the stay at home duties and saving u from day care then it’s no different to a stay at home mum
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My stay at home husband is the love of my life, and it’s my preference to have him home while I work.
Tell your family to bug off.
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Would you look down on a woman?
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My cousin is a sahd and his wife is a full time Dr and he loves spending that time w his girls plus they don’t pay for daycare. I think it’s awesome he does all the stuff at home that needs done while you work
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If you don’t think he’s contributing, pay him childcare wages to watch your kids. Let him split the bills with that and he will still come out ahead each month. Also, it sounds like you didn’t have a problem with it until others did. I see no shame in him being a stay at home dad.
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If you’re already full time let him be part time. Opportunity for your child to be with a parent rather than a sitter. You guys are stable enough it seems? It’s also draining. I work more full time hours compared To my bd/bf but he’s also communicated his exhaustion. If it’s needed I know he’d go out and get a second job but I think (especially because I’m personally against letting my kid go to daycare etc) that it works out. At least my baby is home with one of her parents than hardly seeing us at all. Even though I’d like to switch places, it just so happens that I have a decent job with full time hours and my bf gets part time (still working late/crazy hours) making it where he’s more the “stay at home parent” which not a lot of men get so I think it’s good he has that opportunity too
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If you can financially afford it and he’s being a good dad and helper then it shouldn’t be a issue.
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he is a SAHD, let him. Child care is so expensive and pulse its hard to find trustworthy people. So if your family is going to watch both of your kids, so you both can have a full time job then so be. if not tell them to shut it.
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Is he having the baby during the days instead of paying daycare??? He sounds like a stay at parent and there is nothing wrong with that. Females do it so why can’t men???
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If you guys live comfortably then it shouldn’t matter. If the roles were reversed no one would say anything. Never let your family in on your relationship/marital problems, it never helps the situation. If you don’t care and are happy that’s what matters.
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Stay at home moms aren’t looked down upon when the man is the provider. Why are we looking down on stay at home dads with the woman being the provider?
Sounds like a double standard
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Sound like your family is the problem….
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As long as he’s doing his fair share at home, and contributing while you’re at work. I think if he lives in the same home as your other children his pretense should make their lives easier too, nur thwg is just an opinion.
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Whatever works for u may not work for others . No one opinion matters when their not the one living ur life
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Monetary contributions aren’t the only valuable contributions. If it works for y’all and you’re happy. Fuck anyone and everyone else. $ comes and goes, ignore the stereotypes if they don’t suit your family.
Child care for a new born is between 700-1200 a week so unless your making enough to spend that on a new born for child care together I would keep everyone out your business and do what world for your family ……
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If it works for you that’s all that matters
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If you guys are okay with him being home with babe and bringing in the money and he cares for the house, how is this any different from a woman staying home with the children while the man works🤷♀️ your family needs to shut up. Daycare is costly not to mention there are some truly horrible places why chance that If you don’t HAVE to.